Overview
Out of weapons with only a single enemy remaining? Fear not, for you have fists of fury that’ll make any* undead cry! Ever wondered how many punches Roland can take? Here’s your answer…*Note: Not all enemies can be safely punched to death. I am not responsible for any broken Reapers as a result of following, or ignoring, the advice given in this guide.
Introduction
While I was attempting to do the Death and Famine achievements (damn them) I got killed and, annoyed, tried to kill a bouncer with my fists. Suprisingly, I was able to do it, leaving me to wonder what other enemies can be killed with only punches. So, I went and found out for myself. Here are the fruits of my labours.
There are a lot of images in this guide, so give them time to load. Oh, and beware spoilers for the bosses of each faction.
Updates
Thanks to TheEngineWolf191, who reminded me that flashbangs do in fact exist (not once had I bought them before) I was able to kill one more enemy. Flashbangs do not work on any others that I’ve tried, though.
- Sergeant information updated.
Also I managed to tediously kill a Patriarch by ducking in and out of cover and punching while his minigun was winding up. Yay!
- Patriarch information updated.
I completely forgot Timur existed. He’s been added, for all that’s worth.
- Timur the Tinkerer unnecessarily added. Vall information altered slightly.
Thanks to JAG for letting me know that it is indeed possible to punch a succubus to death. Will wonders never cease?
- Succubus information updated.
Thanks to Am_Suitcase for endeavouring to punch Amber to death AND providing a video of it so I don’t need to bother trying it myself. Now THAT’s something I can appreciate. Edit: He did it for Madam Stela and Ibzan too. What a champion.
- Amber information updated.
- Madam Stela information updated.
- Ibzan information updated.
A milestone! Yes, all bosses have succesfully been punched to death! You know, apart from Timur and Vall, at least in their own levels. If you punch them in a custom level they’ll die in one hit, so there you go.
Thanks to Dr.Fudge for providing a relatively safe testing ground for punching animals to death.
- Cerberus information updated.
Another milestone! All enemies now have Punch Values™! Now the guide is truly marginally helpful. Thanks to everyone for your contributions. There are still several enemies you can’t punch to death, however. At least not without exploits.
Wow! Am_Suitcase has done it again, ladies and gentlemen. He’s done the impossible. He beat a dog to death with his bare hands. Now there’s less dying to dogs and more animal abuse charges. Neat! He’s probably contributed to this guide more than I have, at this point. Therefore, I’ve opted to make him a contributor. Congratulations, man!
- Cerberus information updated. Again.
Hey guys this is Am_Suitcase I was able to find a way to very situtionally take on a sergeant with fists. I also added the Zombie Security Camera for yall who may be secretly wondering where it was on the list.
- Sergeant information updated. Again.
- Zombie Security Camera information added.
M I L E S T O N E. All enemies can, to some capacity, be punched to death now. Whether it be via exploit or spawning them in unintended locations in the level editor, we’ve done it. We’ve won.
- Patriarch information updated, because my previous method was both inefficient and unnecessary. The new way’s much better.
Altered information about Grunts since I realised that it was pretty inaccurate.
- Grunt information updated.
Note: If you want me to record videos of punching each guy to death, I’ll be happy to. Just yell at me in the comments until I do, alright?
Zombies (plus bonus dog)
Punches until death – 9
Notes – Perhaps the easiest enemy to punch to death, you can run head on at them and come out on top. Just don’t try to take on more than one at once.
Punches until death – 9
Notes – Same as the bullies, but don’t expect to be able to rush them down unless you catch them off guard. Neither bullies nor punks have the ability to attack in between punches, like some other enemies in the game, so go nuts with your new punching bags.
Punches until death – 32
Notes – Yep, they can take a beating. If you want to be a true pugilist, you need to take cover and let him fire his shotgun. This way, when you start punching, he can’t rudely interrupt by obliterating you, since you’re not giving him any opportunity to reload.
Punches until death – 3 (for head), 15 (for body)
Notes – If the head can’t see you, there’s really no challenge to sneaking up on them and mashing punch. Similarly to bullies and punks, they can’t retaliate in between punches, and are easy prey. Be warned that there aren’t many instances where the head is in punching range, however.
Punches until death – 11
Notes – Frustratingly out of reach in normal levels. Luckily, custom maps have provided us with the opportunity to punch a zombie head in the head. They’re surprisingly tanky, huh? Especially since Shambler heads can only take 3 punches. I guess these guys are truly ahead of the competition, eh?
… I’ll uh, get my coat.
Punches until death – 24
Notes – Puff is slightly more challenging to punch to death, but you can make it work. What you need to do is take cover to let him fire off his first volley, before giving him the old one two, three four etc. I would recommend using the vent behind him, then running past him and taking cover on the other side of his desk. That gives you the enough time to hit him before he can reload.
Punches until death – 42
Notes – Roland is… suprisingly easy to put back into his grave. Just use the vent to sneak up behind him and let loose your rage like in Fist of the North Star. Be wary that Roland doesn’t actually move when you punch him, so you need to turn around occasionally to keep hitting him before he can properly draw his smg and splatter you all over the wall.
Punches until death – 13
Notes – Or is it Cerberi? Either way, they will kill you when they run into you, so don’t fight them head on. Luckily, Am_Suitcase endeavoured to find a way to punch a Cerberus to death, and succeeded. You too can very situationally kill dogs. Now they can die of abuse twice!
Vampires
Punches until death – 13
Notes – An incubus is fairly easy to beat to death, the issue is getting to him. He can walk on ceilings, far out of range of your fists. If they become alerted they’ll fire upon you, or drop to the floor if they can’t see you. You can take advantage of this and get in and out of sight quickly by using stairs and doors. Just remember their 10mm pistols can punch through doors, and two penetrating bullets will kill you.
Punches until death – 13
Notes – Though not recommended, it is possible to kill one of these with fists alone. Just very difficult. Basically you need to keep punching enough that she can’t finish her swing and hit you, though she likes to run past you before bolting back to try and cut you again. Time your punches so she can’t hit you, and then she’ll drop after 13 punches. It’s way easier to use a gun or even a hammer, though.
Punches until death – 17
Notes – Suprisingly, you can take him with normal punches. If you get the drop on him, he won’t be able to fire off a shot before you land another punch. Just keep mashing mouse 1 and he’ll fall. Now, where’s that bottle?
Punches until death – 3 (normal) 11 (Madam Stella’s Phylacteries)
Notes – Ah, there it is. Note that it’s fairly rare for a phylactery to be in punching range, but happily they are easy to break if they are.
Punches until death – 29
Notes – You may be hesitant to lay hands on these horrible giant bats, and that’s actually pretty sensible. They’re another enemy that can shoot you between blows. However, if they’re reloading when you land the first strike, then they won’t be able to turn you into a fine paste.
Punches until death – 20
Notes – New information has come to light and you can indeed get half of the Quid Pro Quo achievement like a man. Since Am_Suitcase made a video on it, I don’t need to awkwardly describe it in words. Hallelujah!
Punches until death – 19
Notes – Evelyn is much easier to kill by punching. However, it may be hard to approach her. Either move from cover to cover and wait for a reload, or kill her with a gun and come back later from behind.
Punches until death – 21
Notes – Madam Stella cheats, because she never needs to reload her shotgun. Because of her infinite ammo hack, you have to cheat back, using stairs. Am_Suitcase made a video of it (and Ibzan) so luckily for you, you don’t need to read any more of what I write than you need to. Skip to 1:40 for the battle vs Stela.
Skeletons
Punches until death – 11
Notes – A similar fight to a Nightcrawler, actually. However, unlike a Nightcrawler they don’t keep their weapons loaded. So, you can ambush them and kill them before they can ready their weapon, or you can let them empty their clip into cover before making your move.
Punches until death – 30
Notes – The enemy I least thought would be susceptible to punches. There are two ways to beat down a sergeant:
Option 1: Cheese it
Get yourself a flashbang and toss it in his direction, then overlap your sprite with his and start punching. He freezes in his running animation and can’t retaliate. This will also net you the Pirouette achievement, handily.
Option 2: Fight like a man by running away
Use stairs to befuddle him. Guess skeletons really don’t have brains, huh? Make sure you’re quick, for a sergeant will quickly send you flying with his sledgehammer if he gets the chance..
This video will demonstrate the method, with some extra flavour thrown in. Check it out:
Punches until death – 17
Notes – I managed to kill one but I don’t think I was meant to. I snuggled up all close to him, close enough that his magic soared over my head, and I continued to have the luxury of beating him until he burst. If you’re too far away i.e. not overlapping with him, you’re gonna get turned into ash no matter how quickly you mash that mouse button. Chalk it up to a bug, so if it’s fixed in the future don’t blame me when you’re converted into ash.
Punches until death – 14
Notes – If you can sneak up to them they’re incredibly easy to kill via fists. Be sure not to tread on a mine when trying to approach them, however. I’m not sure punching those would do you much good.
Punches until death – 1
Notes – Impossible to get to without blowing up, for he has rigged his room full of explosives, the dolt. Luckily, there was a custom map I played that had you kill Timur without explosives. He dies in one hit. You know, because you were never meant to get to him.
Punches until death – 17
Notes – Ibzan doesn’t flinch when you hit him, the sod. So you need to go about killing him another way. Am_Suitcase’s video will probably explain it better than I could, so here you go. Skip to 3:20 for the advanced technique.
Note: When he’s kneeling in the snow, if you’re fast enough he’ll die from a single punch in the mouth. Take that, you miserable so-and-so. Just remember his third shot will actually fire and kill you. So uh, don’t get shot.
Demons
Punches until death – 13
Notes – Wow, 13’s an unlucky number. Coincidence? Yeah, probably. Anyway, these demons take enough time to swing their bats that they’ll ignite, but they won’t have time to connect. It just goes to show, substance over style.
Punches until death – 13
Notes – You wouldn’t hit a girl, would you? Yeah, you would. The hammer fist of justice is unisex. Just be sure to wait for them to reload before attacking them. They won’t hesitate to grind you into dust with their rifle, but if it’s empty they won’t have the chance.
Punches until death – 34
Notes – In a head on fight, you can get a couple of punches in until their minigun splatters you everywhere. However, they can’t turn around while firing. So, you can just waltz on past them when they’re shooting, then punch them a few times while they’re spinning up again before running behind him again. Easy.
Punches until death – 1
Notes – I’m sorry. I tried everything I could think of (nothing) to find ways to punch Vall, but she was simply too far away. My arms weren’t long enough. If you find a way to punch her, I congratulate you. And yes, spawning her in the level editor and punching her in a custom level is cheating, though she’ll die in one hit if you do so.
Conclusion
Now that you’ve read this, you know the proper procedures to taking down the undead menace if you lack a weapon.
Have you managed to punch someone to death that I haven’t? Got any constructive criticism? Want to shower me in praise for enlightening you to the art of the punch? Be sure to comment down below.
Thanks for reading this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ guide.
Shameless Plug
Hey! Did you enjoy this guide? Don’t know why you would, but great! I also co-wrote a guide on some of the more complicated aspects of using the level editor, why not take a look?
[link]It’s more worthwhile than this guide, I’ll tell you that. Maybe you’ll learn something that’ll help you push your custom levels to new heights! I look forward to playing them.