Overview
A guide on how to properly insult one’s sworn enemy.
Introduction
This is a relatively short guide listing the many crude and possibly immature names you may call your fellow fustylugs.
Beginner Insults
Bespawler- meaning one who drools; someone who is braindead
Braggart- A boastful person
Churl- A fool; an idiot
Clout- One who does nothing but cause suffering
Craven- A coward
Cur- An inbred canine
Canker-blossom- An infectious ulcer
Clotpole- A rude, simple-minded fool
Coxcomb- A prideful person
Dew-beater- A clutz; one who is foolishly clumsy
Dorbel- Thick-headed; unintelligent
Foot-licker- A suck-up, a coward
Fopdoodle- A stupid and classless individual
Gnashgab- A relentless whiner; one who complains
Gobermouch- An old Irish insult; one who is nosy
Loiter-sack- One who is lazy; a slacker
Lout- An agitator
Lubberwort- A slow, simple-minded fool
Pansy- A wimp
Patsy- King Arthur’s servant
Smellfungus- A killjoy; a whiner
Smellfeast- A fat moocher
Snoutband- A loud-mouth
Stampcrab- A clumsy, big-footed fool
Swine- A pig
Triptaker- A childish whiner
Urchin- a disgusting beggar
Varlot- a worthless fool
Vassal- a slave
Wheyface- A coward
Intermediate Insults
Bedswerver- An adulterer; a defiler
Bobolyne- Tudor word for fool; simpleton
Chipotle – A rude simple-minded idiot hurling foolishness.
see Beginner Insults: Churl, Clotpole -Cleric of Nidaros Meadery
Cumberground- Useless; dead weight
Dalcop- Literally meaning “dull head”; thick-headed
Drate-poke- One who rambles in speech pointlessly; a delinquent
Fustylugs- A hag; an unpleasant female
Gillie-Wet-Foot- An old Scottish word for a swindler; a cheater
Hugger-mugger- One who is the embodiment of confusion
Joithead- A hothead, one who rushes into a situation without thinking, Leeroy Jenkins
Klazomaniac- Someone who seemingly can only communicate through shouting; a loudmouth
Muck-spout- Someone who curses like a sailor
Malt-worm- An alcoholic
Mammet- A lifeless person
Measle- A viral infection that causes sores
Miscreant- A law-breaker
Moldwarp- A stupid person
Puttock- A vulture, a buzzard
Pumpion- One who lacks personal hygiene
Quisby- A slacker
Spur-gall- An antagonistic person
Scut- A deer-ass, a deer’s tail
Skainsmate- An unsavory associate
Strumpet- A prost*tute (seems for some reason nobody liked them much)
Advanced Insults
Abydocomist- A liar
Codpiece- The piece of armor designed to protect the male genitalia (their actually quite comfortable)
Driggle-draggle- A disgusting woman
Dewberry- A fool
Flap-dragon- A big-mouth
Flax-wench- A prost*tute
Fustilarian- A time-waster, worthless
Giglet- A lusty woman
Gowpenful O’ Anything- Someone who is a collection of all absurdities
Gudgeon- A gullible individual
Haggard- A sickly individual
Leasing-monger- A liar; cheater
Loggerhead- A fool
Mumblecrust- A peasant; a filthy beggar
Raggabrash- An extremely revolting individual
Rakefire- An over-stayed guest; a moocher
Roiderbanks- A money-waster
Saddle-goose- A foolish time-waster
Scobberlotcher- A lazy good-for-nothing
Skelpie-limmer- A whiny little brat
Sorner- a moocher
Stymphalist- an unpleasant-smelling person
Tallowcatch- A womanizer
Wandought- One who is weak
Wiffle-waffle- An indecisive time-waster
Yaldson- literally meaning son of a prost*tute
Zoilist- An overly-critical nitpicker
Closing Statement
Use these comical chivalrous curses with pride and honor!