Overview
This will teach you how to not ♥♥♥♥ up
FIRST
Don’t ♥♥♥♥ up by
-getting hit
-getting tiny planet
-getting soy milk
-accidentally hitting your nut sack (or vagina) in the middle of a run
-remember to look at the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ computer screen (I’ve made this error multiple times
Second
The lost is hard
Don’t do it right away unless you want 500 more deaths like i had
Don’t even go into a self sacrifice room as the lost
Don’t even go into a self sacrifice room as the lost
Don’t even go into a self sacrifice room as the lost
Don’t even go into a self sacrifice room as the lost
TRUST ME I’VE KILLED MYSELF THAT WAY AND I CRIED
Also-
A law of rebirth is if you take damage on the basement/cellar
restart
Back to teaching you how to not ♥♥♥♥ up
-Don’t stick a handle bar up your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
-Don’t hit your computer (I crashed my computer by hitting it once)
-Don’t die when you have moms knife on the suicide king challenge
-Don’t slap a kangaroo while playing
-Don’t eat
-Don’t sleep
-Practice reflexes (I reccomend playing super meat boy, rogue legacy, ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ i recommened people to play league of legends what the ♥♥♥♥ is my life why , and counter strike global offensive)
Third
Don’t get hit
Don’t die
Don’t Pick up ♥♥♥♥♥♥ items more than once (tiny planet, soy milk, bob’s brain, my refection when you have ipecac, ♥♥♥♥ like that)
Only play the lost if your ready to cry, and/or stab your genetals , or murder a small child (i reccomend doing the last thing)
Don’t do anything that is bad in rebirth
Finally
Smoke weed and ♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ everyday
Now you have platinum god
Yes I have The Real Platinum God
Yes This ♥♥♥♥♥♥ has the real plat god
New Edit
Ok so i need to keep this ♥♥♥♥ funny for at least 3 more months or till i edit again
so don’t let the illuminati come into your house in the middle of a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ run (trust me its not a good idea)
don’t kill your cat in the middle of a run then wear its body parts
don’t crash your mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ computer like 7 times and then have to build another computer
PRAISE THE SUN
PRAISE JESUS
Murder children
Please
So I apparently have to teach things in this guide or else I’ll sound like an ass ♥♥♥♥
So join the crossbow ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ (my steam group)
I mean that the best item in the game is pyromaniac and riot I MEAN edmund please dont nerf
Also I just have to say why do items have to be nerfed? Who gives a ♥♥♥♥ that they are op its a game where you find op items to win the only things that should be nerfed are spawn rates. I mean I literally cried when krampus’ head got nerfed now i never pick it up. The demon bum nerf was ok I really didn’t notice it but the brimstone nerf (was there a brimstone nerf i mean it already sucked in this game lowering your damage and all). Oh ♥♥♥♥ that didn’t teach anything.
Don’t stop moving if you stop moving you get more susceptible to get hit which means the more susceptible you are to die.
Don’t stop playing legit I’ve been off rebirth for about a month since i beat the game 111% and if i come back I’ll probably die like every five seconds if you keep playing the entire game becomes muscle memory.
Has this been funny at all
Yea i thought not
Idfk Use dank memes and punch people you look rebirth straight in the mother ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ eye and you go M8 ♥♥♥ U then you rape rebirth (THATS NOT FUNNY)
Genetals don’t hit your own
Sometimes you just have to meme on rebirth
From poopsteve420 himself “everyone is batman, everyone fall down sometimes when you fall down its not actual fall down more like you feel fall down inside. When life gives you lemons, make coke a cola drink you make you own rules, you say ♥♥♥♥ you obstical and you do dwayne rock johnson tribute”
So at this point its 5:00AM, I haven’t slept in 2 days, and i have somewhere to be at 9am so i can’t think of more funny’s (idk maybe snipars and blazblad dank memes and ♥♥♥♥) I’ll update later but for now i think im done
the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ red poop that sits right in the center of the room i mentioned it [link] (thanks to him/her for making me remeber the red poops)
its stupid its only there to be a trap but i never usually fall for it
Its the stupid ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ red poop right infront of the door in the chest
♥♥♥♥ that ♥♥♥♥ remove ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ red poops
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCH8ihypiitP1VWF9BASyN0w
Heres my youtube channel in case you want to check out the stupid ♥♥♥♥ i make
Stop with the lost guides
Its enough everyone already knows everything about the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lost and at a point, it stops becoming difficult (well i mean with a few lucky runs). Its ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stupid and everytime I see one I’m like I ♥♥♥ KIN GET IT NOW STFU. People may disagree but at this point, everything you need to know about the lost is already on the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ wiki. Now stop with lost guides people.