PRO TIPS THE DEVS DON’T WANT YOU TO KNOW

Overview

Amazing tips that the developers don’t want you to know about – they may save your life or maybe even $15.

How to be every player ever

• Jump around every corner and go prone because there’s no increase in weapon spread
  Pictured is a player performing the classic nospread jump.

• Spam Q and E to lean around everywhere like a spastic
• Only choose marksman and die instantly to the enemy marksman
• Hide in a corner all game

How to not waste money part 1

Let me start with a visual:
You see this ugly, disgusting low resolution crate? These are refered to as war crates and they contain ugly, disgusting low effort weapon skins. 90% of them are unappealing splotches of red and white paint on a few of the corners of the gun as shown below.
Can you spot the difference? 10 points if you can.

There’s a couple of skins in the crates that look marginally less repulsive than the others but thanks to Totally Not Gambling™ technology you have approximately a 0% chance of receiving said skins.

Now you may be wondering, cool guide master writer, how do I avoid wasting my money? Well all you have to do is avoid clicking this button.
I am an expert at not clicking this button myself.

How to not waste money part 2

Now for the tip the developers hate the most: Maybe you think you’ve made a terrible mistake and you’re 15 dollars down. Maybe you’re using up every minute in the lead up to the refund threshold of two hours. Maybe you went AFK to contemplate life after closing the game. When you go to close the game and refund make sure you close the utterly pointless game launcher. The developers hope you’ll forget and leave it open in the background by accident to prevent you getting a refund.

Below is a diagram which depicts the method to close the pointless launcher.

If you’ve failed to refund the game in time then you should spend your time patrolling the reviews on the store page desperately defending your unfortunate purchase. Remember, squealing EARLY ACCESS!! is totally a valid defense.

The hidden gamemode

So you’ve played 5v4, 5v3, 5v2 and the best gamemode – 5v1. But now you can play the new top secret gamemode the devs don’t want you to know about.
That’s right, using the same Totally Not Gambling™ technology used in lootboxes you now have a random chance that the game will totally destroy your understanding of the words “5 per team” with this super fun new gamemode, 6v4!