Overview
This will describe how to survive in the wasteland.
Step One
Step One: Stay Hydrated
Duh. The most obvious one. To survive you need to stay hydrated. So make sure you look around and find some mountain dew in a long lost airport vending machine. Oh yeah, and take the vending machine with you.
How?
– Drink blood
– Drink water
– Drink sand (yes its liquid now)
– Drink…. Oil
Why?
WELL WHY ARE YOU READING THIS OTHERWISE YOU SILLY
Step Two
Step Two: Eat.
Food, OF COURSE! Sadly this is the apocalypse so you aint gonna get no Doritos here. You have to eat to stay alive and keep yourself healthy… Unless your immune system has mutated.
How?
– Eat Dog food
– Eat Bodies (literally)
– Eat sand (its everywhere anyways)
Why?
Read. The. Title.
Step Three
Step Three: Defeat your foes
Well. In the wasteland there are alot of bad guys. Buzzards, Roadkill and lord scrotum’s lakeys. They all want you dead. And to live you have to kill em!
How?
– Get a Badass Car
– Get Chumbucket (because he does all the work on the car)
– Kill enemies
– Get more cars
– Pimp your ride
Why?
I have a question for you. Why am i even writing this.
Conclusion
Just play the game
I hope this guide has completely waisted your time since its just… stupid.