Overview
We’ve all been there, the pain of watching your favourite colonist wander out into the open in a mental daze, butt naked, only to be mauled by a bear. You feel helpless as your watch your favourite pyromaniac, cannibal, lacking social and intelligence, be killed by a man hunter pack of squirrels. I feel you, and I have a solution, a 5-step guide showing you ‘how to not kill your colonists’.
1. They’re not robots
Firstly, lets state the obvious, your colonists, while being in a computer, (In my cause, a bad one) they are not robots. Unlike the average gamer, dwelling in the darkest of rooms, some of your colonists need social interaction. Take them outside every once and a while, would you like it if you were trapped in a complex, or if your starting out, a ♥♥♥♥ shack, for 24 hours a day? These pawns require interactions, they crave joy, death, love, fighting, biting, and uniting moments. And then probably some killing.
2. They’re not machines
While being literally born to work, your colonists are not machines, it ain’t as simple as plugging him into a nutrient paste dispenser and watching them as they work away for hours, no. Your colonists are meticulous creatures that requires sleep, breaks and joy. Don’t underestimate a colonist’s ability to be ticked off when he’s been deprived off sleep, food and a shoddy wooden horseshoe. Speaking of food.
3. They won’t eat anything you throw at them
Unlike the average college student, colonists are picky, they require only the best in culinary cooking. They pity the fools that feed them slop from a machine, and will sure as hell not be happy about it. Trust me, before I fed my colonist bug meat, we have 2 more colonists.
4. Diseases are no joke
The beauty of modern Glitterworld medicine allows even the sickliest colonists to be cured of their ailments. But you ain’t in no Glitterworld anymore. And separated from the world of vaccines and antibiotics, you’re lucky to get a hospital bed not covered in blood. In your first year of living on this ‘wonderful’ Rimworld, you may have been lucky enough to be acquainted with the result of low hygiene, and improper cleaning. You would know the struggle of watching half your colony become infected with the plague, malaria or even the flu. Now, you may not have Glitterworld medicine, but mama didn’t raise no ♥♥♥♥♥, and you ain’t gonna go down without a fight. Prepare some Penoxycyline as soon as humanly possible, cause while mama didn’t raise no ♥♥♥♥♥, she didn’t raise no idiot either.
5. There’s a thing called ‘cover’
There it is, the fight you’ve been waiting for. The chance to show them all, to redeem yourself in the form of glorious combat, where only one true victor remains. While this is the idea flowing through your head, accompanied by adrenaline, testosterone and your bootleg Go-Juice, people such as that almost never leave the victor. Whether it is against 1 or 1000 raiders, you must always play strategically, the different between leaving with a bruised leg, or no leg, can sometimes be using the right cover. Spend some of your steel on sandbags, I don’t know how exactly the conversion from steel to sand works, but it sure as hell works. Trees and rocks aren’t always going to be on your side, and getting flanked, using a stump as cover, will almost always leave you in a sticky situation. Employ the use of different angles, spread out your colonists, and worst-case scenario, employ the use of pets as ‘distractions’. Cause if they’re shooting at ‘Snuffles’, at least they’re not shooting at you.
Conclusion
That’s your 5 step guide on how to not kill your colonists, cause, Mama didn’t raise not ♥♥♥♥♥ and if you follow these tips, your colonists may be able to tell her that.
Main Sources:
- General Knowledge
- Rimworld WikiPedia