Overview
Here I will teach you how to goat. Achievements, Trophies and Goats. What more do you want?
Phase 1. BE the Goat.
In order to fully understand Goat one must become Goat. To reach the level level of Goat needed to understand Goat, one must…
- Own Goat
- Start Goat
- Press The Any Key
- Become Goat
Further more, there are many stages of Goat. But that is for Goat Experts, We start here, before you can Goat, you must Kid…
Achievements and Such
1. Boulder of Death – Hit the party with the Boulder of Death, located just above the party on the hill.
2. Pedestrian – Find the Sanctum 1 Walker Statue, in the tree house next to the yard you start in. Jump to it with the trampoline, lick it then take it to the sacrifice area.
3. LOEK master – Find the Sanctum 2 Walker Statue, located in the house behind you (I think) in one of the upstairs rooms on a dresser.
4. FINALLY – Become the master of the goat tower. Simply climb up the Goat Castle tower in the yard and enter the castle.
5. Goat of the hill – Everything the light touches is your kingdom. Climb to the very top of the crane. Use the trampoline to land on top the catwalk of the crane then walk up the cable to the top.
6. What is its purpose? – Thrash the Goathenge. It’s somewhere in the wheat field.
7. Devil Goat – We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell. Sacrifice 5 humans, (or goats, easier if you have the semi devil powers from the castle) inside the glowing red sacrifice area in the woods behind the party.
8. Angel Goat – Do no evil. Literally do nothing for 5 minutes. With the new updates this is now possible. It was not achievable due to the game just randomly causing people to fall over.
9. Around the World on 5 Trampolines – Visit all the 5 trampolines in one jump, bouncing on each trampoline once. It’s easier if you go to the top of the construction building by hitting the air vents and going limp. Then land on the trampoline, make sure you press q to go dead weight and bounce from one trampoline to the next.
10. Trying to bring forth Sanctum 3? – Sacrifice the 3 Sanctum items. At this point you should have already sacrificed the 2 Walker Statues, now you need to get the robot out the floating storage unit that the crane is holding. Simply Get onto the top of the crane again and fall on top of it. Work your way inside and lick him QUICK! Or he will punch you out. Then take him to the sacrifice area.
11. Involuntary QA – Ooops, the game seems to have crashed. Push the little tilde button ( ~ ) and type beginBVT and press enter. That easy.
12. The Flapmaster – Score 10 points in Flappy Goat. Screw everything about this achievement. It’s ignorant. You have to go to the Coffee Stain Studios building and on the second floor there is a TV with Flappy Goat. Just walk up and press R to begin. You need 10 points to unlock it. I have 4..
13. I can’t believe that worked – Do 10 front flips in one trick. Bust into the Anti Gravity building and get into the Zero Gravity room. There you can flip away and do cool stunts!
14. Cardio kills your gains – Drag a person into the treadmill with your tongue. Like it says, drag a person onto the treadmill in the garage behind where you spawn.
15. Rymdskepp i Rymden – Travel to space! Like it says, you get to go to space! A lot like George Clooney in Gravity. All you do is grab the B(e)acon out of the garage behind your spawn point and take it to the crop circles in the wheat field. Find the one that is missing and walk up to it. Now stand and stare at the sky until the space ship comes, when the beam starts, press space to start being abducted! Noe just flip around and enjoy the view until Sandra Bullock rescues you or just Respawn.
16. Try Hard – Find all the trophies!
*Working on a trophy guide. Just Google it..
17. Alexander Goatstafsson – Win the title bout! Go to the Goat Fight Club and whoop kick the sit out of some goats! It’s not that easy, but the reward is worth it.
18. Goat Queen – Become the Queen of Goat Ville. Just added with the updates. Unlocked with by going into the Goat Castle and Sitting in the Kings chair.
19. Mattress Madness – Bounce 100 times on mattresses within 30 seconds. Go into the construction building and on the fourth floor I believe there are about 6 or 7 mattresses. just jump on them as fast as possible and you will get this. it didn’t pop up for more so i did it for an hour though I already had it.. :/
20. Mile High Club – Lick the Hanging Glider. Jump onto the glider from the crane using a precise well timed goat jump. Then just lick it and enjoy the ride.
21. Dodge This – Make sure the Hillbilly never drives again. Go grab the boulder you used to crash the party and drag it down to the hillbilly practicing his NASCAR skills. Just run into him to blow up his stupid hillbilly face.
As of right now this is it. Easy huh?
Golden Goat Statues
Goat Simulator Golden Goat Statues Locations List:
1: On the very top of the crane. Just use the air vents to shot you on top of the construction building in rag doll mode, then land on the trampoline and bounce your way to the top of the crane. Then walk up the cable to your trophy.
2: There is a shed on the side of the road near where you spawn with fans on top that will take you to it. Hit the fan and land on the lowest power line.
3: On top of the same shed used to get to the power lines in #2.
4: Behind the run down house across from the school. Follow the building around the side facing the road.
5: Under the bell on top of the school. Use the trampolines in the pool to get on top of the school and go rag doll to slide under the bell.
6: On the edge of the big hole in the wheat field used to change the size of your goat
7: Behind the Boulder used to Crash the Party.
8: Up against the fence behind the Goat Fight Club.
9: Buried in the bushes underneath the water slide.
10: Go into the gravity building and go left up the ramp. Using the Feather Goat, jump up onto the scaffolding until you get to the highest beam and walk to the end of the room.The trophy is in the far corner of the room.
11: Read # 12 first. On top of the Low Gravity building, under one of the spinning arms. Go slow-mo (F) to get it.
12: Using the fan in the red looking box in the Low Gravity room, go up into the vent that shoots out from the roof. You will automatically get the trophy.
13: In the wheat field, to the right of the farmer and his harvester, next to a car.
14: Under the power line tower next to the Goatagram. It’s hard to find, just walk in the bushes next to the legs of the tower.
15: On the scaffolding platform on the roof of the construction site building.
16: Behind the white goat in the first room like area as you start to go up the Goat Tower where you spawn.
17: Under the big green tree in the middle of the wheat fields. You can’t miss it.
18: To the right of the outhouse where you handle your daily business.
19: Inside Coffee Stain Studios on the upper floors there is a trophy on one of the desks. If you hit the desk the trophy floats. Weird..
20: On the Coffee Stain Studios chimney.
21: On top of the diving boards in the pool area.
22: In the blue storage container hanging from the crane. To get on top of the container, use the fans on the small building in the construction yard to get to the top of the construction building. Rag doll and land on the trampoline and then on top of the crane. Find the hanging storage unit and walk off on to it. Them go slow-mo and fall off of it and into the box. Immediately headbutt the G2 robot guarding the collectible to avoid getting punched out.
23: In a blue storage container on the ground level of the construction site, just as you walk in from the road.
24: Behind the Protesters’ stage. No more penis shaped food!
25: In the car shop that is connected to the gas station gas station. It is behind the mechanic.
26: In the bedroom of the house next to the spawn point, tucked in a corner in the room to the right from the stairs.
27: In the greenhouse next to the Time Trial starting point (The Floating Clock Thingy), not near the one spawn point.
*Newly Added With Release Updates
28: On a limb on one of the two trees between the party and the empty pool. The only trees that have branches sticking out. Just use the Feather Goat to jump up to it.
29: On the pile of boxes on the left side just as you walk in to the throne room of the Goat Castle.
30: On the very top of the power line pole closest to the Goat Castle.Just use the air vents on the little shack thingy that has #3. Go slow-mo and float to it.
31: At the back of the Goat Fight Club against the fence.
The Many Forms of Goat
Goat has the ability to transform, Goat is everywhere, Goat is EVERYTHING! Be cautious, you never know where Goat could be…
- Goat
- Tall Goat
- Feather Goat
- Devil Goat
- Angel Goat
- Blue Streak (Sonic)
- Yoshi Goat (Italian Dinosaur)
- Goatborn
- Angel/Devil Goat
- Giant Goat
- Space Goat
- Ripped Goat
- Robot Goat
- Goat Queen
That’s all I have so far…
Goat: The Diety of Hardcore
Goat is one of natures mysteries. Not only is Goat and animal, Goat is a supreme being of power. With the ability to Run, Jump, Headbut, Lick and BAAAAAA, Goat is able to defy all aspects of reality.
The amount of adventure possible to Goat is unlimited. All you have to do is look and thou shall recieve. Just be Goat and you will be happy.
And That Is All. Enjoy Being Goat
I have to end this quickly so I can go back to being Goat. There are Sacrifces to the Goat underworld to be made and I need to become Goat king. BAAAAAAAAAAA!
Check out my Group page and Follow my Twitch to see my livestreams. May the Goat be with you.
