Overview
There exists many guides on How to Best Girl; however, all of them are factually incorrect and need chucked into the bin. This is the definitive guide on How to Best Girl and find great satisfaction in both Best Girl and your own life.
Step 1. Other “Best Girls”
Disregard all of them except for true Best Girl.
Disconnect from any who worship such figures as “Ocucko” and “♥♥♥♥♥”. Downright attack others who believe other Keions to be best girl. There can only be one best girl, and in our hearts, we all know who it is… except you, reader. You do not, hence why you are here. And regardless, simply knowing about Best Girl is not enough. You must be best girl.
Step 2. Daily Routine
Best Girl eats profusely as a daily ritual of her life, and is so amazing that she experiences no weight gain. You must take from this.
Order everything from the menu of every fast food restaurant in your town, and down all of it within a thirty minute timespan. Do not regurgitate, Best Girl has no interest in those who purge.
This is, of course, the pleb option and only one part of the Best Girl equation.
Best Girl relies happily on her sister to do everything boring and unfun: cook, clean, do taxes, achieve something in life. To truly be Best Girl, you must rely on your relatives and sit on the couch or in bed all day, only getting up occasionally to grab more delicious food.
Step 3. Musical Instrument
Musical knowledge? Screw that. If you know even anything about reading music, get out. Go have J.K. Simmons tell you that you play like garbage.
True Best Girl worshippers do not need musical knowledge. They can play guitar without even knowing anything about it and rival the talent of entire bands. They can sing and make even Rick Astley say, “damn, that’s pretty good.”
The first step is to buy yourself a Gibson Les Paul in Heritage Cherry Sunburst. I hear an internet Bay is good for that.[www.ebay.com] The next step is to then play Through the Fire and Flames without missing a single pitch perfect strum and without screwing up the lyrics. The entire 7 minutes. By ear.
Once your fingers have been shredded from your hand and you’re losing blood rapidly after those 7 minutes, and after your vocal cords are in literal pieces, you know you will have succeeded in this step.
Step 4. Good Grades
Who said anything about good grades? Sod off with your academic success.
Step 5. Shrine
A shrine must be established of your love for Best Girl. Buy all merchandise possible and print as many pictures of Best Girl as possible, ensuring you display both proudly at said shrine. I can already hear pleas of mercy: “But Strom, I already spent thousands on a Les Paul and you’re asking me to import merchandise and buy printer ink!”
Any true worshipper of Best Girl isn’t afraid to spend money on worship.
Step 6. ???
During this break, feel free to show your love to Best Girl by watching a compilation of Best Girl.
Step 7. Profit
Congratulations. You have now truly shown your love for Best Girl, and have shown the naysayers that all other “Best Girls” are inferior. You now truly understand that Yui Hirasawa is love and life. As one final note, live by this mantra for the rest of your life: