Overview
I went to chat with the bartender at the Rum Colony along the Echo (just get off the boat at the second stop), and found the descriptions of the cocktails interesting, especially how they seem to go on and one as long as you (Junebug) ask for it.So I decided to make this guide. I asked Patch the bartender a couple dozens of times and figured out a pattern to the cocktail names and the descriptions. The names and descriptions of cocktails doesn’t match, but they both have a template that you could check out in the next section and play with a bit. Here’s a generator I made for the cocktails, you could find it here: https://perchance.org/krz-cocktailsAnd if you’re simply interested in cocktails, you might want to check out this infographic for cocktails: https://informationisbeautiful.net/visualizations/cocktails-interactive/ – the cocktails served at the Rum Colony is actually similar to a Mai-tai, Daiquiri, or Planter’s Punch, if you look at the ingredients in them.And just a reminder – I don’t own any of the cocktails and I am not responsible for any vibrations/stings/aches/tingles sustained due to the consumption of the cocktails described in this guide.Bonne chance!
How to Make a KRZ-style Cocktail
So how do you make a KRZ-style, or more specifically, Rum Colony-style cocktail? First, you need a name.
(You can find word lists like list of rum names in the next section.)
How to Name your Cocktail
The [Rum name] Noir
e.g. The Spiced rum Noir, The 151-proof rum Noir, The Bone rum Noir
[Adjective] [name of alcoholic drink] on the [Noun]
e.g. Sweet Beach on the Grog, Fragrant Grog on the Navy, Salty Navy on the Sling, Frozen Dragon on the Captain, Strong Dragon on the Bone, Potent Cocktail on the Zombie, Suffering Flamingoes on the Mai tai
My [adjective for colours] Heaven
e.g. My Dark Heaven, My Light Heaven, My Blue Heaven, My Iridescent Heaven, My Brownish Heaven
The [adjective for colours] Death
e.g. The Light Death, The Dark Death, The Clear Death, The Invisible Death
[Adjective] and [Adjective]
e.g. Leisurely and Fragrant, Esoteric and Fragrant, Suffering and Frozen, Strong and Salty
[Adjective] [Body part]
e.g. Sweet Arms, Old Toes, Fragrant Toes, Strong Nose, Leisurely Pupil, Frozen Tongue, Potent Ego, Brownish Devil,
[Adjective] [Adjective] [Name of alcoholic drink]
e.g. Iridescent Suffering Tiki
How to Describe your Cocktail
A Simple Drink
One shot [liquid name], two shots of [different liquid name]. Blue curacao. [Extra Step]. Throw a [decoration item] on top.
e.g. Frozen Tongue: One shot demerara rum, two shots of black rum. Blue curacao. Refrigerate. Throw a little umbrella on top.
A Simpler Drink
One part [liquid name], [two/four] parts [liquid name]. I throw a [decoration item] on there to soften the blow.
e.g. Salty navy on the Sling: One part lime juice, two parts light rum. I throw a couple olives on there to soften the blow.
“People can’t get enough”
[Rum name] and a [decoration item]. That’s it! People can’t get enough. Drink too much and it’ll make your [body part] [things body parts can do], though – watch out!
e.g. The Spiced rum Noir: Soft rum and a plastic skull. That’s it! People can’t get enough. Drink too much and it’ll make your toes vibrate, though – watch out!
“that’s it!”
Just enough [rum name] to make your [body part] [things body parts can do], then add [non-rum liquid name] and [non-rum liquid name] to taste. [Extra step] – that’s it!
e.g. Potent and Frozen: Just enough dark rum to make your arms vibrate, then add pineapple juice and orange curacao to taste. Blend – that’s it!
“Look out! That’ll put hair on your nose!”
[Non-rum liquid name], [non-rum liquid name], and a few slugs of [rum name]. Look out! That’ll put hair on your [body part].
e.g. Potent Ego: Blue curacao, yellow food coloring, and a few slugs of demerara rum. Look out! That’ll put hair on your pupil.
One short, broad glass
Start with a short, broad glass, lightly rimmed with [liquid name/materials used to add flavour]. Put a [decoration item/orange peel] in the bottom of the glass, flip it over and leave it for [two/three/five/twenty] minutes, then slowly add [rum name], [rum name], [rum name], and … [rum name], [Extra step].
e.g. The Invisible Death: Start with a short, broad glass, lightly rimmed with green curacao. Put a little umbrella in the bottom of the glass, flip it over and leave it for two minutes, then slowly add blue rum, white rum, aged rum, and … 151-proof rum. Refrigerate.
One medium-sized glass bowl
I take a medium-sized glass bowl and fill it equal parts [liquid name] and [liquid name]. Cover it with a towel and let it stew until it gets a sort of [adjective in italics] quality going. Add [rum name], and [extra step]. Put a [decoration item] on top, if you want to show off.
e.g. Fragrant and Salty: I take a medium-sized glass bowl and fill it equal parts green curacao and aged rum. Cover it with a towel and let it stew until it gets a sort of suffering quality going. Add gold rum, and shake. Put a little umbrella on top, if you want to show off.
One tall glass
Chill a tall glass with a little [liquid name] at the bottom, then just keep pouring in [rum name] ’til it starts to turn [adjective for colour that fits the rum]. Add [non-rum liquid name], [non-rum liquid name], and [non-rum liquid name] – some folks like [non-rum liquid name that haven’t been mentioned before]. I always include a [decoration item].
e.g. My Blue Heaven: Chill a tall glass with a little lime juice at the bottom, then just keep pouring in spiced rum ’til it starts to turn dark. Add grapefruit juice, pineapple juice, and fine sugar – some folks like simple syrup. I always include a couple of olives.
In conclusion, you could write a Kentucky Route Zero-style recipe for a ridiculous delicious cocktail like this one:
Fragrant Flamingoes on the Dragon
Black grapefruit juice, yellow food coloring, and a few slugs of blue rum. Look out! That’ll put hair on your noes.
or
Just enough soft rum to make your superego tingle, then add yellow food coloring and gray curacao to taste. Let sit for a while – that’s it!
or
Invisible Suffering Mai tai
151-proof rum and a toothpick. That’s it! People can’t get enough. Drink too much and it’ll make your arms vibrate, though – watch out!
So for the simplest KRZ-style cocktail, just prepare any type of rum and a toothpick and you’ll be set to go. Don’t forget to watch out for any body-part tingling, aching or vibrating!
Vocabulary List
First of all, this is not an exhaustive list, so feel free to comment on words that should be in the list!
Nouns that show up in the Cocktail Names (That may or may not be cocktail names themselves)
Navy
Captain
Zombie
Sling
Flamingoes
Dragon
Bone
Grog
Dragon
Navy
Mai tai
Tiki
Punch
Other Religion-related Nouns
Heaven
Death
Adjectives & Qualities drinks can have
suffering
potent
leisurely
deadly
fragrant
frozen
salty
sweet
strong
old
esoteric
Adjectives for colours
clear
iridescent
light
dark
black
blue
brownish
invisible
Ingredients: Liquids
Rum
soft rum
light rum
dark rum
white rum
black rum
gold rum
blue rum
151-proof rum
spiced rum
demerara rum
bone rum
young rum
aged rum
Curacao
gray curacao
blue curacao
green curacao
orange curacao
black curacao
Juice
grapefruit juice
black grapefruit juice
white grapefruit juice
lime juice
pineapple juice
Miscellaneous
sea salt
sugar
fine sugar
simple syrup
orgeat syrup
a couple of olives
Other
yellow food coloring
Decoration Items
a maraschino cherry
a little umbrella
a plastic skull
a toothpick
a couple of olives
an orange peel
an apple peel
Things you can do to your drink to make it more special / Extra Steps
Refrigerate
Shake
Stir
Blend
Pour over ice
Let sit for a while
Think about something else for a bit
A Couple Particularly Hilarious Cocktails
Fragrant Grog on the Navy
Chill a tall glass with a little lime juice a the bottom, then just keep pouring in black rum ’til it starts to turn dark. Add orgeat syrup, white grapefruit juice, and fine sugar – some folks like sugar. I always include a toothpick.
Frozen Dragon on the Captain
I take a medium-sized glass bowl and fill it equal parts green curacao and aged rum. Cover it with a towel and let it stew until it gets a sort of suffering quality going. Add gold rum, and shake. Put a little umbrella on top, if you want to show off.
Potent Ego
Blue curacao, yellow food coloring, and a few slugs of demerara rum. Look out! That’ll put hair on your pupil.
The Spiced rum Noir
Soft rum and a plastic skull. That’s it! People can’t get enough. Drink too much and it’ll make your toes vibrate, though – watch out!
(Some Cocktails I don’t know the name of)
Just enough dark rum to make your bottom sting, then add gray curacao and yellow food coloring to taste. Let it sit for a while – that’s it!
One shot black rum, two shots of 151-proof rum. Lime juice. Think about something else for a bit. Throw a maraschino cherry on top.
And here’re some that I generated using the generator[perchance.org] I made:
Leisurely Tongue
One part white grapefruit juice, two parts yellow food coloring. I throw a little umbrella on there to soften the blow.
My Invisible Heaven
I take a medium-sized glass bowl and fill it equal parts young rum and demerara rum. Cover it with a towel and let it stew until it gets a sort of SUFFERING quality going. Add spiced rum, and think about something else for a bit. Put a couple of olives on top, if you want to show off.
Salty Suffering Dragon
Start with a short, broad glass, lightly rimmed with orgeat syrup. Put a little umbrella in the bottom of the glass, flip it over and leave it for two minutes, then slowly add aged rum, young rum, gold rum, and … aged rum. Pour over ice.