Overview
This is a guide for a very minor aspect of the game, but what I found to be a great addition. It is a parody of Dungeons & Dragons, renamed Dungeons & Gremlins. It is played with our character and Jill, along with the Nerds.
What is D&G (Dungeons & Gremlins)
D&G is a fantasy game using pen, paper, dice, instructions, and most of all….. Imagination. As you see, our players gather around the table and prepare for a game. Magnar is acting as the Game Master. In this role he paints the picture in our minds, controls the story line, and acts as a referee.
Meeting at the Tavern
Our players begin in a imaginary tavern warmed by a crackling fire. This is where Adventurers and locals meet to relax, drink mead, and listen to a Bard playing music.Here are the characters:
Jill, a High-Elf Rogue, outfitted in the typical female fantasy armor. Carved, heavy metal pieces that protect very little, leaves vital organs exposed, but looks sexy. (so I’m not complaining).
Ron, a Rogue, outfitted with light leather armor, and armed with several daggers. He also has a thing for Elves.
Sally, a Witch, outfitted in very revealing Witch robes, and armed with a magic staff. She also knows several magic spells.
And our player character, a Brute, whose entire earthly possessions consist of a pair of pants!
Round 1: Greetings
Our characters take their first turn in the game by greeting each other, although our player character has other options based on his ♥♥♥ status.
Sally starts by greeting all of the adventures, thereby increasing everyone’s morale.
Ron decides to lay the charm on Jill, increasing her health.
Jill greets the adventures, increasing their morale, and is called a copy-cat by Sally.
Our player character either:
1. Greets the party with an increase in morale,
2. CHICK: Flirts with Jill, but Ron speaks up and called “dibs”,
3. ♥♥♥: Spanks Sally! (covered in another section)
Immediately following his choice….. an ATTACK!
Round 2: The Attack!
Three Thieves burst through the front door. The Bard stops, the locals scatter, and our adventures make their next move.
Sally uses her magic staff to cast a fire spell. It takes out the first Thief.
Ron throws two daggers. A bad dice roll takes out one Thief, but the second dagger strays and grazes our player character (PC).
Two different actions can happen with Jill. If the PC spanked Sally during the greeting, she’ll attempt to cast a fire spell (and again be called out for copying), but will not hit the thief. Otherwise, she’ll cast a successful healing spell on the PC.
Again, our PC has three choices:
1. Attack. He’ll pick up Ron’s dagger, throw it, but mistakenly hit Ron.
2. Attempt to defend Jill, but loses his head.
3. ♥♥♥: Spanks Sally Harder!
His action ends round 2.
A Spanking….. a Spanking!
(Title is a Monty Python and the Holy Grail reference)
So our PC can spank Sally during both turns. In the second turn, he says he’ll spank her harder.
Sally is stunned!
After a successful roll of the dice, he put her over his knee and gives her a whack. The scene is the same for both turns.
The results.
Our PC cops-a-feel, and Sally is more concerned about what he is imagining. There is another scene after this which is more explicit.
The Ice Queen cometh!
After our PC’s final action, the group faces the wrath of the Ice Queen, who casts a “Silence” spell on them.
So ends our very short adventure in the realm Dungeons and Gremlins. I truly hope that this game is included in future seasons of “Being a ♥♥♥”. I am also hoping for a little more Sally content.
