LISA: The First, The Painful, The Joyful: The Complete Walkthrough

Overview

UPDATE: Now also includes Lisa: The First and Lisa: The Joyful.A complete step-by-step text walkthrough of LISA. Also, strategy guide, gameplay basics, party guide, secrets.

Introduction

Below, you will find a complete*, detailed walkthrough of LISA: The Painful RPG.
It was written specifically with Pain Mode in mind, but normal mode doesn’t differ that much. Normal mode doesn’t have some of the enemies Pain Mode does, you can’t access the lab in Area 2, and you fight Hawk Hollywood instead of Hawk in Area 3 (most of which I also address in the walkthrough). That’s pretty much it, I think.
Since this walkthrough is entirely text, you may like to also have monday’s tour guide and companion guide at your side for visuals (you can view these in your browser by right-clicking and copying the link address). Those guides also have neat tables of all the items you can find in the game, all the items you can buy from certain vendors, and full move lists for all companions. Some of the weapon and armor tables in the companion guide have some errors, though, so keep that in mind. When the values shown in the game or the item descriptions in the game differ from what monday’s guides say, the game is always right.

The Lisa Wiki[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] is also a very great site for extra info. For instance, it has all the enemies and items with stats on it.
Also, credits go to princeazazel for Pain mode/normal mode enemy differences and some other info and help.

*Actually, this guide has barely any information on Steam achievements. So for achievement info you should look up Old Salty Sean’s LISA the Painful Achievement Guide.

Combat Basics

Combat is turn-based. You give each of your characters their battle order and then let them go off on fisticuffs.
Atk determines the amount of damage you deal with basic attacks and with most special moves, as well. Atk is the main damage stat for most characters, with a few exceptions.
Def determines how well you resist Atk-based damage, reducing the damage you receive from basic attacks and Atk-based special moves.
S. Atk and S. Def work similarly, but these apply to certain special moves. Think of them as the Int stat of this game; they increase magic damage and reduce it, respectively.
Agi determines the turn order; whoever has the highest Agi acts first. Agi can be raised significantly with certain items.
Luck determines how high your Crit Chance is. The higher your Luck, the higher your chance that attacks will be Critical Hits, doing three times the damage. A lot of special moves can be Critical Hits, as well.
None of these stats matter outside of battle.

You can have up to four characters in your team. Only characters that are actively participating in combat gain experience.
There are dozens of characters to recruit in the game, and many of them have unique mechanics and gimmicks to them. However, there are a couple categories you can classify them under.

SP-based
These characters use SP for their special moves. SP work like your generic mana points. Characters have a pool of SP they can use to do special moves, and their SP replenishes through items or by resting. Most characters are SP-based.
There are a few characters that require SP for their basic attack move. If they don’t have enough SP, they won’t be able to attack.

TP-based
TP works more like a rage meter, or a limit break thing. Characters begin battle with a random amount of TP between 0 and 25. They can get more TP by landing basic attacks, receiving damage, Guarding, or by performing certain special moves that raise TP. There are also certain items that can raise TP in battle.
TP-based characters generally only have to perform one or two basic attacks in-between using their special moves, and they often start out with enough TP for a special move right at the beginning of combat.

Dial Combo
When you perform basic attacks with these characters, you will be prompted to perform a string of different hits (using the W, A, S, D keys). Special moves may be triggered by hitting specific button combinations.
Most prominently, your main character does Dial Combos.
You have to perform the exact button combination specified in the skill description. You can’t land any extra hits; if a move requires WSD, DDWSD won’t work. However, Dial Combo moves are still almost always preferred due to their high damage.
You can also simply execute Dial Combo moves without doing the combo by directly choosing them from the Skills menu in combat. However, by doing them manually, you also land several basic attack hits on your target before executing Dial Combo, so that is always preferred.
A single-target Dial Combo may hit multiple enemies if the original target dies mid-combo.
All Dial Combo characters are SP-based. Most are offensively-oriented characters.

Joy Addicts
Brad starts out with an addiction to Joy, and so do a few other characters. They will randomly go into Joy Withdrawal, severly crippling their Atk stat, meaning their basic attacks and most special moves will barely do any damage. Also decreases most other stats. However, S. Atk moves will still do plenty damage.
Joy Withdrawal may go away on its own in combat after a couple rounds, but don’t bet on it. The easiest way to get rid of it, without actually using Joy, is to rest. If you do decide to let your character have Joy, that will remove their Joy Withdrawal as well, and it will put them into Joyed mode. Joyed turns all their hits into guaranteed Critical Hits, but will go away after a few rounds of combat.
For Brad only, Joyed seems to always pass away after a single round of combat, which sucks. However, after a certain point in the game (on the path to Area 3), Brad will be able to stay Joyed just as long as other characters can. In general, Joyed will last for several encounters; it can’t pass away while walking around, but it will be removed if you rest.

Depressed
There are two characters in the game that suffer from Depression, which decreases their stats. Atk, Def, and Agi are permanently reduced. However, that doesn’t really mean that much; the values you see when you look up their stats in the game are what you get in combat. It just means they’re probably weaker than all the other companions you could have in your party.

Gameplay Tips

There’s rumors that Brad can lose his addiction, but I’ve never seen it happen. However, it might still be a good idea not to let him have any Joy, as you might want to use another Joy addict in your party. It is entirely possible to go through the whole game without ever having to use one of the Joy addicts, but you will want to keep your options open.
The thing is that Brad actually has a series of special moves that use S. Atk: his Fireball moves. These moves will always do decent damage, no matter Brad’s condition, meaning he can still perform well in combat while suffering from Joy Withdrawal. Most of the other Joy addicts don’t have that, although some have such powerful moves, they will still do some damage while on withdrawal.
You definitely should not sell your Joy. Selling one Joy gives you just as many Mags as killing one Shadowy Figure does, yet Joy is infinitely rarer than Shadowy Figures.

Pain Mode makes the game harder, adds more enemies, adds an extra area to explore, and adds an extra scene to the ending. Most importantly, Pain Mode will cause save points to blow up after you use them. This very much prevents you from resetting the game when something bad happens, and it forces you to be more careful.
I definitely recommend Pain Mode, even if it’s your first playthrough. Since you’re reading this, I know you have all the help you need to get through Pain Mode. The game really isn’t all that hard when you know where to go and what to do. When you encounter stronger enemies, you can always just throw Firebombs at them.

Whenever you rest, there’s a chance one of your companions will be kidnapped and held ransom. This can happen in each of the three areas of the game–however, if it happens in Area 3, you can’t save your companion. He’ll just die.
In Area 1, your companion will be at the Blue Rockets door in the village (Sub-Area 1). You will need 100 mags to pay off their ransom.
In Area 2, your companion will be at the Pretty Boys HQ near the gym (Sub-Area 5). You will need 200 mags to pay off their ransom.
Do not try to fight the kidnappers. If you do, they will kill your companion before the fight starts.
It always seems to be the second character in your party who gets kidnapped.
If you do decide to fight them (sacrificing your companion), these are the things you can get from the kidnappers:
Blue Rockets (Dolf Bones, Bark Bronzee, Jerry Humphrey): 800 EXP, 16 mags, and a slim chance for up to two of each of the following items: Mystery Jerky, Empty Bottle, Perfume
Pretty Boys (Peter Smoove, Pretty Mask x4): 3800 EXP, 55 mags, 1 Perfume, 2 Tissues

Companions can (and will) die in combat, permanently. There are four different perma-kill moves in the game, and all of these will permanently remove one of your companions from the game (if Brad gets hit by one of these, he just dies normally). They are: Heart Squeeze, Neck Break, Fatal Chomp, Decapitate.
Enemies capable of using these moves are especially common in Area 3, but there are some in the first two areas that can use them, too. However, the chances of them using these moves are generally very low. Here’s a full list of the enemies that can, and a danger rating of how likely it is they will ruin your party composition.

• Punkert: 1/10
• Jerry Humphrey: 1/10
• Charmy: 1/10
• Crack Ripper: 1/10
• Sweet Tea Rakeem: 1/10
• Vic Cherry: 1/10
• Vernon Red: 2/10
• Warren Red: 2/10
• Henry Wyatt: 1/10
• Kim Sex Machine: 4/10
• Georgy: 1/10
• Jonathan: 6/10
• Lil’ Nuggie: 2/10
• Wally: 1/10
• Former Friend: 5/10
• Tom Cream: 2/10
• Spoony “Sidewalk” Vee: 4/10
• Bloodiest Wolf: 2/10
• Buffalo Van ♥♥♥♥: 1/10
• Hawk Hollywood: 4/10
• Rex Thunderstorm: 4/10
• Herb: 8/10
• Peter: 7/10
• Beady: 8/10
• Blue: 3/10
• Hawk: 8/10
• Satan: 10/10

These values aren’t to be taken literally. 1/10 doesn’t equal 10%. Instead, think of it like this:
1/10 means that it’s extremely unlikely. Might as well not even be a probability at all.
2/10 is also pretty slim. Still nothing to worry about.
3/10 is possible, just barely.
4/10 and something might actually happen, maybe.
5/10 and chances are getting a bit dangerous. However, still rather unlikely.
6/10 means things are getting serious. This is where I start talking about “perma-kill bosses.”
7/10 means you need to absolutely beware of this guy.
8/10 means this guy will probably wreck your party. It’s possible that more than one of your guys will bite the dust.
10/10 means you’re fighting Satan. I hope you knew what you were getting into.

Perma-Kill Counter Strategies

As can be seen a bit above, there are quite a lot of enemies in this game that may perma-kill your companions in combat. The majority of those enemies will rarely ever use their perma-kill moves (about as rare as a solar eclipse), but still, there’s a good number of enemies that have a pretty good chance of perma-killing some of your characters.
However, with the right strategy, you may pass this game without losses, without resets. Well, you’re also gonna need a bit of luck.
There are, in my opinion, four viable strategies. The first two focus on doing high amounts of burst damage. You want to kill those perma-kill bosses as fast as possible. For that, there’s Oil + Fire, and Joy. These are the safest strategies; really, there’s no risks if you’e got the right composition. And then there’s also the other two strategies, which utilize status conditions (disabling the enemy), and are a little riskier.
Your party composition doesn’t have to just follow one strategy; you can have multiple forms of burst damage, or a mix of burst damage and status conditions. Some companions even fall into multiple categories at once, allowing for hybrid strategies (Clint, Queen Roger).

Oil + Fire
Most people seem to run Birdie and RT, or Birdie and Mad Dog in the late game. The idea is simple: Birdie puts Oil on the boss, and the other guys in your party do their strongest Fire skill on the boss (don’t forget Brad’s Fireball moves, which will still do plenty damage while he’s on Joy Withdrawal). Oil increases all Fire damage the afflicted target takes by 250%, and there’s no enemy in the game that’s resistant against getting Oiled, so this may be the safest way to go.
Heck, the safest party composition would probably consist of Brad, Birdie, RT, and Mad Dog. Although anyone else who can do good Fire damage can take RT’s or Mad Dog’s place.
Companions with Fire damage: RT, Mad Dog, Olan, Rage, Percy, Clint, Jack, Crisp

Joy
Or you can try something a little riskier, and put one or more Joy addicts on your team. Buckets and Carp seem to be the best choice for that, although Tiger Man might be able to do even more damage than them. Usually, they’ll be in Joy Withdrawal for all the easier enemy encounters in the game, and that should be alright. Don’t just waste the Joy you have.
Then, when a hard perma-kill boss comes around that you want to kill as fast as possible, you give Joy to all the addicts on your party. Of course, you can give Joy to any companion you want, but you’ll create new Joy addicts in the process, and Joy is pretty rare.
On one hand, we’re dealing with a limited substance here, and most Joy addicts in the game are kinda crap, but on the other hand, Oil + Fire depends very much on having one specific companion available–Birdie. If he gets perma-killed, you don’t have Oil.
Joy definitely is a viable strategy, although it might be a little weaker than Oil + Fire.
Joy addicts: Carp, D.ck, Tiger Man, Queen Roger, Clint, Buckets

Stunlock
A lot of the tougher enemies in the game are immune against most status conditions that prevent them from attacking; however, all of them are only 50% resistant against being Stunned (if at all), meaning it’s just half as likely to Stun them than it is usually.
A Stunlock composition basically focuses on stopping bosses from doing anything. Stun only lasts for one turn, but if you just have everyone spam Stunning moves on the boss each turn, that should stop them from doing anything.
Brad himself already comes with a series of good Stuns: his Headbutt moves. Although the best Stunner in the game is probably Queen Roger equipped with a Head Rocker.
Companions that can Stun: Queen Roger, Rooster, Beastborn, Garth, Sonny

Pissedlock
If you just want to prevent the enemy from using perma-death moves, Pissing him off is the best way to do it, actually. No enemy in the game is resistant at all against getting Pissed, and it prohibits enemies from using skills.
What Pissed does, exactly, is, a Pissed enemy will each turn randomly attack any one character in the fight (including himself). He also has a greatly increased chance of landing Critical Hits, which is the first drawback of this ability–if he does hit one of your companions, there’s a good chance they’re knocked out (not permanently, of course).
The second drawback is that all the abilities in the game that inflict the status effect have a rather low chance of doing so, all being around 50%.
However, I still do believe that this is an extremely effective strategy, just for prohibiting enemies from using perma-death moves.
In general, you want to be able to cause a large number of disabling status conditions (Paralyze, Scare, Tripping over, Sleep, Confuse), as a lot of the tougher enemies in the game aren’t immune against quite all of them.
Companions that can Piss off: Terry, Nern, Garth, Harvey

Bonus: Sleeplock
A Sleeplock strategy is similar to Stunlock (in theory), only that you put the enemy to Sleep instead of Stunning him. Sleep may last for several turns, but it will stop immediately when the Sleeping enemy is damaged. So how are you gonna kill the boss to death when you can’t damage him without waking him up? Well, we’ll have to manipulate the turn order.
In a Sleeplock composition, you have one designated Sleeper and three heavy hitters, and it is vital to the nature of this strategy that the Sleeper has the lowest Agi among your party. That means he will go last, after everybody else in your team, putting the enemy to Sleep for the rest of the turn. The enemy will then be broken out of Sleep at the beginning of the next turn by your heavy hitters, but that’s alright: Your Sleeper will put the enemy to Sleep again, making the enemy miss his turn again and again.
To start off, this strategy only works if the Agi value of the enemy is lower (or higher) than the Agi value of everybody in your party. And it also requires that the Sleeper’s Agi value is lower than that of everybody else on your team, but higher than the Agi of the enemy (unless the enemy has the highest Agi value among everyone). To achieve that, there are many accessories in the game which vastly increase and decrease Agi.
However, even so, there are a couple of bosses in the game that are immune to Sleep, or resistant to it. And Sleep moves generally have a very low success chance; RT’s Nightmare Hold is the best Sleep move in the game with a success chance of 80%. Most others are 70% or below.
Also, Confusion actually works very similar to Sleep in this game. It will stop the enemy from doing anything, but it will be removed when taking damage; however, there is only a 50% chance that Confusion will be removed when taking damage (as opposed to 100%), so that’s a little interesting. All late-game bosses that are immune to Sleep are also immune to Confusion.
I don’t think Sleeplock is really a viable strategy on its own; it might be a viable addition to other strategies, however.
Companions that can put to Sleep: Nern, Garth, Bo, Harvey, RT, Ollie
Companions that can Confuse: Garth, Harvey

What about supports?
Supports and heals are nice, but they won’t prevent perma-kills; in my opinion, supports don’t really have a place in the late game. The best defense in this game is a strong offense that kills all enemies within the first few rounds of combat.
However, if you want to experiment, feel free to do so. You don’t need to fully maximize the damage output of your party; if two or three men on your party are able to do strong burst damage on their own, you can add whomever you like, really.
Just increases the odds you’ll lose some of your characters to perma-death.

Walkthrough, Part 1

Start the game.
Watch the cutscene of you getting beat up. Then, the game starts (sort-of). There isn’t much to do here; you can move around and talk to your friends. Walk past all the normal-looking houses–you live in the one that looks like crap. Before you go inside, you might want to walk past it, and to the next screen; there’s an NPC here to talk to who’ll say something cryptic.
Then, go home. Watch cutscene. You’re upstairs now, and there isn’t much to explore here, either. Left door is locked. Second right door isn’t, so go in there first. First right door leads to your room; once you enter, another cutscene happens.
You’re a man, now. Watch cutscene. Once it’s over, there’s nothing to do but go left. Then, another cutscene happens–don’t worry, it’s the last one. After this, the game really begins.

Terry is being attacked by a wild beast. Slay the wild beast. Just beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of it–all of the four dial moves are qual (Left Punch, Right Punch, etc.).
Then, Terry will give you the option to activate Pain Mode. This decision cannot be changed later on. I advise you to play with Pain Mode on–this walkthrough is written with Pain Mode in mind. Pain Mode means that you can use save points only once. Apart from that, it adds new enemies, a new area, and it adds an extra cutscene to the ending. If you want the full experience, play Pain Mode. It’s not that tough–especially since you have Steam guides at your side!
Terry joins your party.

—————–
Terry[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]
You’ll instantly realize that Terry is quite useless in battle. Against the first few enemies, he won’t be able to do any damage at all, and he only has one skill, Little Cheer, which costs 40 SP (which he has 80 of at Level 1) and barely heals any HP at all.
However, Terry does get somewhat useful later on. In fact, he is a completely viable addition to your party, and he does have some unique moves later on. He can deal okay damage with his moves, he’s great at inflicting negative status conditions on enemies, and he can heal very nicely.
He has two problems: Low HP and low SP. He will always be very vulnerable in combat, and his skills drain his SP away quite quickly. Now, Cool Pose and Supercool Pose are his defensive abilities, which inflict Cool and Supercool on himself respectively. Cool regenerates HP each turn, Supercool regenerates HP and SP. However, in most cases, these abilities aren’t much use–many of the stronger enemies in the game are able to kill Terry with one hit. Especially when you’re using Terry’s skill Verbal Bash to piss enemies off.
Verbal Bash (Level 3) is what gives Terry a lot of power throughout the whole game, but especially in the early game. It has a chance to cause enemies to Cry and/or get Pissed. Crying causes enemies to miss sometimes, Pissed turns all their attacks into Crits, but Pissed enemies might attack themselves. Getting enemies Pissed is almost always rewarding in battle, and most enemies can get Pissed, too. A lot of the stronger enemies early on can easily be beaten thanks to Verbal Bash, although it can be risky.
>>>05/09/2015 update: Out of all the status effects in the game, Pissed is likely the best one. For more info, read above under “Pissedlock”.
—————–

Go left. Pick up the bottles–you can throw them at enemies for decent damage in the early game, but you can also fill them with all kinds of stuff later on.
Consult the crow. This is a savepoint crow. It will allow you to save the game. If Pain Mode is activated, it will blow up afterwards. Cliffs are insta-death, so don’t fall off of them. You can rest at the fireplace, or not. Usually, random things can happen when you rest at a fireplace, but this one seems safe.
Continue on to the next screen on the left, and there’s blood and corpses. Terry will continue following you, as he is a strong and valiant warrior.
Go into the house. You can interact with the corpses and the drawings on the wall. One of the drawings will reveal the names of your three pals. Cheeks is dead, and the other two are missing. Pick up the Rusty Knife from the corpse.
Leave, and continue on left. There’s another savepoint crow. You can go ahead and use it–usually, you want to be smart with the way you use savepoints in Pain Mode, but you probably won’t return to this place later on. There’s some Mystery Jerky on the screen to your left. Take it, and then return and go down the rope.
Try not to fall off of ledges that are higher than two tiles–falling hurts everyone in your party. So go down the ropes, and then go left. The corpse is holding on to a Diet Cocola Cola. Then, go right to the next screen, but don’t fall off the cliff! There’s some Mystery Jerky down here. Go back, go up the first rope, and then go right again.
Go right until you encounter a menacing-looking warrior dude by the name of Walter Stingray. He’ll attack you, and there’s no way to escape this fight. You can now perform Brad’s first dial combo, Buster Punches, by pressing WWS when you attack. Terry is unable to do any damage on him at all, so you might want to just have him Guard for the whole fight. Fight shouldn’t be any problem if you always do Buster Punches.
Enter the cave. Quite often, these caves have hidden passages, and this one is no exception. Go up, until you’re by the rope. Go past the rope and to the right, until you’re at the end of the ledge. Now, you can fall down here for 100 damage and pick up a stash of 50 mags (that’s money) in return. Or you can go back and go up the rope. I recommend getting the 50 mags.
If you choose the upper path, you may choose to fight Jeffery Coomings. He cannot damage you at all and will die quickly. If you do choose to fight him, Terry should gain enough experience points to get to Level 3, which makes the next fight slightly easier.
In the very lower right corner of the cave, you will find Mystery Jerky. Leave through the doorway above. Listen in on the Sugarboy Drifters. Go down the rope, and pick up the Perfume (revives party member) at the very left.
Go up, and you will fight Sugar Mountain. He can give you a bit of a hard time, but he shouldn’t be much of a problem.
Leave the cave, go left, up the rope, and pick up Domestic Jerky. Go down. You can talk to the guy at the left–he isn’t dangerous. Go right, save at the savepoint crow, proceed to the next screen, and get hit by a truck. There’s no way to avoid this.
When you wake up, you will be given your first decision in the game: Terry’s life or all of the items you’ve found so far (you won’t lose your currently equipped stuff). Terry actually won’t be killed if you choose to go with the items–in fact, Terry will show up later as a boss, and he is capable of performing a perma-kill move, which can permanently remove one of your companions from the game. The chances of him using that move aren’t too high, but it’s still hell of a risk.
If you do choose to keep your items though, you can use the mags to hire two new party members, and you can get a third just by finding him. They are all only a couple screens away from you. So if you keep your items, you can instantly get a full party of four characters, which are all more powerful than Terry.
Now, if you’re a lamer, you can also pass all the items up until this point, choose Terry’s life, and then go back to pick everything up. I guess. Or you can also just sacrifice your items–it’s not that much, after all. You can grind for mags quite quickly.
After that’s done, go right. Beware the hanged man–he’ll explode, dealing damage to you if you stand right below him. Just pause for a moment when you’re one step away from him, and that’s that.
You’ve pretty much arrived at the first area now. Congrats.

Walkthrough, Part 2; Area 1 starts here

Just continue on right. Later on, once you have the Bike, you can get to the cave above.
You’ll find a guy sitting by a campfire and a tent. You can fill your bottles with soup for free at the fire until there’s no more soup left, and you can sleep in the tent for free. Now, this tent is a bit of a specialty: It doesn’t have your usual random encounters, but there is one thing that can happen at random when you sleep here: A guy will knock you out, permanently decreasing your HP and Luck by 10. It’s really not that much, but judge for yourself if you want this to happen. There’s another safe spot where you can rest, but it costs 10 mags each time you do, and you have to beat a boss first to get there. I recommend resting here just because it’s at a more convenient place. Once the random event is done, the tent turns into a completely safe, free resting place (although it disappears once you get to Area 2).
On the next screen, there’s a savepoint crow, and then there’s Bobby Diddle lurking behind a wall. You’ll fight him sooner or later, so just do as he asks. He can’t do much and dies with 3-4 combos.
There’s four doors to choose from now, but pass them for now and enter the screen to the right. Talk to the guy here, and he’ll basically tell you that your other two pals escaped with your daughter and destroyed the bridge behind them. So we’ll have to repair the bridge, somehow.
Now, back in the main screen, you now have four sub-areas to explore. Up above, there’s a house with Rooster inside, whom you’ll be able to recruit, later. By dropping from a ledge and taking a bit of fall damage, you can pick up an empty bottle and get to the small hole at the very right of this screen, which will take you to a small area. There’s nothing to do here but witness an extremely tragic event, so you might as well get that out of the way first. There’s no way to avoid the tragic event.
Now that you’ve burned a bunch of orphans, you can get to exploring the four sub-areas. We’ll just number them from left to right: Sub-Area 1, 2, 3, 4. (It’s just like in monday’s tour guide.)
Now, if you don’t have any money, you can go to Sub-Area 4 and grind here. This cave is one of the only few areas in the game with random ecounters. In here, you’ll randomly encounter one Shadowy Figure, which gives you 91 EXP and, more importantly, 10 mags. Also, there’s a chance the Shadowy Figure drops some Mystery Jerky and Diet Cocola Cola. This fight can be tough early on if Brad is suffering from Joy Withdrawal, but apart from that, it shouldn’t be a problem at all.

Next up is Sub-Area 1–the village. If you wish to have a party of four people who aren’t Terry, you will want to get in here only once you have 35 mags or more. In the cave leading to the village, you can find a stash of 10 mags by dropping from the left end of a ledge. Later, you can also get to the small hole in the upper right once you have the bike. For now, just exit the cave through the doorway at the very right.
Go to the screen left, go up a couple ropes, and talk to Nern. He will tell you an inspiring story. Then, he will tell you another inspiring story. When you go back to the screen to the right, Nern will appear and tell you yet another inspiring story. We learn a little bit about the world of LISA, but also a lot about Nern’s character. Then, Nern will join you, and he will never tell you another story again, strangely enough.

————-
Nern[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Orator
Nern is pretty good for the early-to-mid-game. He has a lot of utility, and he can do some good damage through his Finger Beam skills, as well. Finger Beam is a S.Atk skill, so look for equipment that raises S.Atk.
Nern can heal, raise SP, raise TP (which is unique), and also debuff enemies (though his debuffs aren’t that great). Nern is just a great guy to have around!
————-

To the right, there’s a green-haired punk with an item behind him. You can’t get to the item, yet. At the lower right corner of the screen, there’s two empty bottles.
Enter the bar, buy one Potato Liquor for 5 mags (trust me). For now, leave again, go to the right screen. Enter the second house (above the Blue Rockets door). The guy inside will give you 50 mags in exchange for that Potato Liquor. There’s also another empty bottle here.
Now, go back to the bar. You now have enough mags to recruit both Olan and Rage. If you only want one of them, go with Olan.

————-
Olan[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Bowsman
Will join your party if you buy him a drink for 20 mags.
Does good damage. TP-based. Has two fire damage skills: Bomb Arrow (Level 5) and Big Bomb Arrow (Level 15). Also learns Poison Arrow (Level 13) and Deep Poison Arrow (Level 20), which both do damage while also inflicting Poison and Deep Poison respectively. Probably the best companion in the game for Poisoning enemies. Poison deals a percentage of an enemy’s max HP in damage each turn, so it’s very effective against bosses, almost none of which are resistant against it.
Is also actually quite tanky. Vantage Point gives him a lot of evasion, and his defensive stats are already good to begin with.
A very powerful companion and a solid addition to your team.
————-

————-
Rage[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Luchador
Will join your party if you pay him 70 mags.
Uses dial combos. Can do damage and nothing else. Only has one Fire elemental skill, Running Geyser (Level 11). Tackle Rush (Level 7) may Trip an enemy, but the chance is very low.
Actually not that great, really. His skills don’t cost a lot of SP, and he rarely runs out of it, so you can spam his skills, but still: Just not that great. Still a decent addition to your team, though.
————-

Now you can go ahead and properly explore the village.
First house doesn’t have anything inside. However, when you leave, a surreal cutscene will happen. Pick up the baby to get out of it.
In the house way above, you can get to a secret room by pressing the interact-button (Enter) when you’re standing on the dirty rug. In the cupboard, there’s a Leather Poncho.
Leave, and continue exploring. The Blue Rockets door leads to an empty cave; you will be able to find your companion here, should he get kidnapped by the Blue Rockets. This is a random event that can happen when you rest at a fireplace. If it does, absolutely do not try to fight the Blue Rockets–they will just kill your companion if you do, permanently removing him from the game. Just pay them off.
The next house has an old bastard inside, who will try to scam you out of 15 mags. If you do give him the mags, he will just give you a note that says you’re a sucker. So don’t do that.
There’s another fireplace with soup. Just fill up all your bottles with soup–the guy won’t mind, really.
There’s a shop with better equipment. If you’ve recruited Rage, you should really get him that Dainty Shawl. You can buy the Shag Poncho for Brad, or not; it raises both Def and S.Def, but it makes him weaker against Fire attacks, and it slightly decreases his Agi.
You can climb up the crates to drop into the house with the cracked ceiling–doing so inflicts no fall damage on you. There’s three empty bottles inside, but more importantly, you may exit through the broad doorway below. Now, you get the opportunity to drop onto that prick from before. By doing so, the other guy will applaud you and reward you with one Perfume. There’s no reason not do that, so go ahead and do it.
Go to the right, and there’s another savepoint crow. Don’t worry–there’s no enemies ahead, so you might want to save that savepoint for later.

Walkthrough, Part 3

Go to the next screen, and here you’ll find a cabinet man who’ll sell you weapons, which are all pretty good.
Go on right and enter the warehouse. In here, you’ll make your first encounter with Buzzo, one of the main villains of the game. For now, he’ll just give you 3 Joy, so that’s pretty nice of him. Unfortunately, Buzzo will go on to torment you throughout the game, even if you choose to skip the warehouse.
Go on right and here you will find the first Dojo. Dojos will always have you perform demanding and challenging tasks, and they will reward you with scrolls, which will permanently increase any one party member’s stats. I recommend always giving these scrolls to Brad–after all, your other party members are prone to die off or leave.
For this particular dojo, you will have to fall off the ledge at least fifteen times. Each fall deals 10 damage to each party member. The scroll will increase one character’s Def and S.Def by 8.
And that’s (almost) all there is to Sub-Area 1. When you return to the first screen, you will find that the green-haired punk has turned into a monstrosity. If you approach him, you will fight Punkert[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. This fight can be pretty tough–if Rage is still only Level 2, he won’t do any damage on him with his basic punches, but his first dial combo will do some damage. You might want to grind for a bit before fighting him, but even with Nern, Rage, and Olan at Level 2, you can beat Punkert. He drops 2 Joy, and there’s a Trash Bag Shawl behind him. The Trash Bag Shawl is one of the many items in the game that add the status effect Stink to its wearer, increasing Evasion. You should have Rage or Nern equip it.
When you leave the village and enter the cave, Big Pancake Norton will attack you. It is actually possible to Escape from this fight, but you shouldn’t have to. He can deal some damage, he can cause Bleeding, but he’ll fall over quick enough.
Next, we will explore Sub-Area 4.

This is where we can encounter Shadowy Figures. If you just keep going right in the shadowy tunnel, you’ll eventually find an exit. You might as well grind here for a bit, as the next fight can be a bit difficult. By this point, your party should be strong enough to quickly dispatch the Shadowy Figure without taking much damage in return. Everyone in your party should at least be around Level 5 before you proceed, unless you’re feeling risky.
Outside the tunnel, you will find yourself on Rando turf. Go on right and pass the four dudes. Dialogue will happen. You can either be diplomatic, or you can provoke these guys into attacking you. Provoking them is actually the better choice–you will have to fight them if you keep going, anyway. If you provoke them, you will just fight Porky Roy, Mystic Pete, Hoops Jardeen, and Lance Gravys now. Then, when you go on, you will also fight Oak Tree Steve. However, if you choose to be diplomatic, and then go on anyway, you will have to fight all five of them at once.
Oak Tree Steve can throw firebombs, dealing fire damage to your whole team, so that Shag Poncho might screw you over here. Also, Nern’s Wooden Shield will increase fire damage on him as well. However, Oak Tree Steve shouldn’t be difficult at all if you fight him alone.
Now that you’ve gotten rid of these guys, there’s a place you can rest here for 10 mags. Since there’s a few fights left to do in this sub-area, you might want to rest there. Fortunately, you can get there without fighting any other enemies.
Just go on right, skip all the doorways for now, until you find a small hole in the wall. It will lead you to the cave of the Schoolboy Shufflers, who are no threat to you are at all, despite the misleading writings on the wall. You’ll find the Inn up above. There’s also a Gang Poster here.
The guy at the very top of the cave will tell you to kill all the Rando guys in the area. In return, you will be able to turn some of your empty bottles into Firebombs, which are absolutely necessary to beat the first major boss.
Leave. You will find the first Rando guy (Dayspa Henning) right outside the cave, at the very right of the screen, sleeping. He can take a couple hits, but he won’t wake up until he’s almost dead, so he’s no challenge at all.
Go left, enter the first door you come across. Inside the cave, you’ll find the second Rando guy (Bee Swanson) sitting by a boombox. He’s only slightly more difficult than the first guy. Apart from him, there’s another empty bottle in here, and you’ll come across Treats Neaty, who’ll tell you there’s some hidden loot in here.
To find it, from Treats Neaty, go up the two ledges. Keep going left, past the first rope. Go up another ledge, and skip the second rope, too. Go up three ledges. Now, just keep going left until you get to a wall. Press down to climb down a hidden rope. Keep going until you’re at the bottom of the cave. There’s 3 Firebombs and 12 mags here.
Now, these Firebombs actually are probably enough to beat the first major boss, and to progress in the game. However, since we’re already here, why not get the other Firebombs, too?
Go up the ropes, pick up another empty bottle, and leave. You’ll find yourself outside the first doorway you came across after beating the first five guys in this sub-area. To find the other two Rando guys, go right again, down the two ropes. Then, left from the second rope, you will have to fall off of the ledge (you can see that there’s a ledge below with an item lying there). Down here, you’ll find a Cigarette, and a door that will lead you to another cave.
There’s nothing in here but the third Rando guy (Skip Dreamer), who’s waiting by the exit with a bat. He also isn’t too tough.
Outside, you will find the fourth Rando guy (Trips Breezer), who will talk to you. You can choose to spare him, in which case he will tell you that Fire damage is great against people with outrageous hair, as it will ignite their hair gel. If you do choose to spare him, you can then fight him anyway. He’s the weakest one of the four Rando guys, and he most certainly won’t even survive a single round of combat.
Now, you can return to the Schoolboy Shufflers. Talk to their leader again, and he will vanish, giving you access to the small hole in the wall behind him, which leads to a generator. It allows you to turn empty bottles into Firebombs, which you can do up to four times. And you definitely should–Firebombs are extremely useful.
Later, once you have the bike, you can get to another cave here, in which you can find Diesel Firebombs. But for now, you’ve explored all there is to Sub-Area 4.

Walkthrough, Part 4

Before you go here, you might want to go back to Sub-Area 1 and get some better armor and weapons for your party. Especially the Pea Shooter is a good buy, as it will increase Nern’s S.Atk, raising the damage of his Finger Beams.
Once you do enter Sub-Area 2, you can find a Cigarette in the cave. It’s hidden on the ground, and you can only see a couple pixels of it. Leave the cave and come out in a field of white grass with a blood red sky above. This field is another area in the game with random encounters–here, a Snake may attack your party. It gives more EXP than the Shadowy Figure, but it takes more damage, is more dangerous, and doesn’t drop any mags at all. Snakes can also poison you, which will persist after the battle is over. It will do some damage outside of battle, but it should go away soon enough as you walk around. I recommend grinding Shadowy Figures instead of Snakes, should you wish to grind.
There’s also an enemy here you can fight. If you’re in Pain Mode, you will fight Tree Man, if you’re in Normal Mode, you will fight Man Laying in Grass. Both of them you only need to fight if you interact with them. Man Laying in Grass is possibly the weakest enemy in the game, but Tree Man is really easy, too. Man Laying in Grass drops 200 EXP, 3 mags with a small chance of Potato Liquor, while Tree Man drops 70 EXP and 8 mags. It can be a little tough to spot Man Laying in Grass, as he is hidden behind grass, but it is worth it to look out for him.
Somewhere around here (between the cave and the fireplace) there is a Perfume hidden behind the grass. The best way of finding it is to listen to the sound of your steps–it sounds a little off when you step on an item.
Go on right until you find a fireplace. You can rest for free here, but beware: A random thing can happen while resting, some of which can be quite bad. You absolutely shouldn’t rest at these fireplaces more often than you need to.
Continue to the next screen, and you will find an old man sitting before a giant monstrosity–Charmy[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. And behind them, up on the cliff, is the thing we’ve come here for: a bike.
The old man will tell you that Firebombs should be good in the fight against Charmy, but they’re actually not that good. They can cause Charmy to Burn, making him lose a lot of HP each turn, but he isn’t actually weak against Fire damage. If you have Firebombs to spare, you can use a few of them in this fight, as Charmy is quite difficult, but don’t just waste them all. If your party is strong enough, you can beat Charmy without using Firebombs at all.
Charmy will drop 2 Joy, and the old man will have something new to say after Charmy’s demise.
Go on to the next screen, climb up the ledges, return to the other screen, and pick up your Bicycle. You can access it from the Key Items section of your inventory. You’ll find that you’re much faster while on the bicycle, and that it allows you to jump over gaps that are exactly one tile wide. Also, you can drop off of higher ledges without taking fall damage while on your bicycle (but you can still take fall damage).

Before we go on, there are a few areas you can now access with your bicycle.
Superior Weapon Dealer
Left from Area 1, on the screen with the hanged man, there’s a cave above the hanged man that you can only get to with the bike. Inside the cave, there’s another vendor, who sells a vast collection of weapons, which are (for the most part) superior to the ones you can buy at the village. However, I absolutely don’t recommend getting the Show Stopper for Nern; it doesn’t increase his S.Atk at all, unlike the Pea Shooter, so the Pea Shooter is actually much better for him.
Beastborn
In the cave leading to Sub-Area 1 (the village), you can now get to the small hole in the wall, with the bloody scratch marks above. It will lead you to Beastborn, who will promptly attack you. He appears to be susceptible to getting Tripped, meaning Rage’s Tackle Rush and Brad’s Tackle are very effective against him. He has a lot of HP, but he shouldn’t be a problem.

————
Beastborn[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Wildman
Tanky, can take some damage, and can also do a lot of damage. TP-based. Lots of moves that do damage and also have a chance to inflict negative status conditions, which is quite good. Pretty good for Paralyzing enemies.
Beastborn comes equipped with Stench, an accessory that adds the Stink status effect to its wearer.
In my opinion, easily outclasses Rage, although not all that great, either.
————

60 mags
In the village, there’s a broad doorway that you can only get to with the bike. Inside, there are 60 mags.
Diesel Firebombs
In Sub-Area 4 (Rando turf), you can now access a secret cave. When you get to the spot where you fought the five guys that guarded the area, go up the two ropes to the right. Absolutely make sure that you are currently on your bike, and then drop off the cliff to your right. You will take 500 damage as you land.
Enter the cave. Go up, until you find 3 Diesel Firebombs. Keep going right until you get to a doorway, which will lead you outside again.

Just go on right through the cave. There’s nothing here. Exit the cave, and go left. With the help of your bicycle, you’ll be able to access a water pump here, which you can use to fill empty bottles, giving you Bottle of Dirty Water or Bottle of Water–the former can be used to throw at one single enemy, which does some damage and may inflict Poison, while the latter can cure one party member of most status conditions. It’s random which one of the two you get, although it seems much more likely to get Dirty Water.
Go right and prepare to fight Booker Clinton. If you fight him earlier in the game, he might be a little difficult, but he should be pretty easy now. Go on ahead. You can find another empty bottle on this screen and also 10 mags.
Enter the next screen. By dismounting from your bike, you can get to the area below. Talk to the fishnet-shirt-wearing guy, who will give you a Tissue. Go on ahead, up the ropes, and enter the cave. Here, you will find an actual door, which will take you to a flashback involving one of your childhood pals–Rick.
After it’s finished, you’ll wake up in another village. First off, absolutely take care before you leave through the doorway–I’ll tell you why, later. Let’s explore the village first, shall we?
Below, you’ll find Mad Dog, who’ll join you once you’ve found a Spiked Club.
To the right, you can find another empty bottle. Even further right, there’s a house with a man inside, thirsty. If you bring him some water (that isn’t dirty), he’ll give you 40 mags for it. Judge for yourself if you want to sell him the water–it’s a rather rare item, and it obviously is pretty useful. I recommend doing it.
There’s a shop above the man looking for water, which sells armor for Mad Dog and Terry. Also, there’s a Rain Poncho to buy here for Brad, which is almost equal to the Shag Poncho, except it doesn’t make you vulnerable to Fire, and it increases your Agi by 1. If you have the money for it, I recommend getting it.
There’s an abandoned bar that you can fall into, with three more empty bottles and some Firebombs inside. It leads to a cave where you can find a Wet Stick, which only Mad Dog can equip at this point. Outside the bar, there’s a Gang Poster.
You might want to use the savepoint crow before leaving. There’s a pretty hard fight coming up next.

Walkthrough, Part 5

As you leave the village, you’ll get to the cave that had the door inside, except the door is now replaced with a normal cave entrance. When you leave the cave, you’ll get ambushed by a bunch of guys–namely, they are Toby Cream, Louie Headliner, Crack Ripper, Harley Denim, and Bernie Mantee. They will ask you to give them all your mags, or you can choose to fight them. These guys are extremely difficult–you will have to use a couple Firebombs to beat them. They’re nothing at all like any of the enemies you’ve come across so far; these guys are real trouble.
On the other hand, if you feel like you can spare a few Firebombs (and you can, really–you should have about a dozen of them by now), the fight isn’t that hard. Probably at least one of your guys will be knocked out, but you should be able to beat them. Just keep throwing Firebombs until at least three of them are dead.
Negative status conditions should work fine on all of these guys, except for Crack Ripper; you will have a hard time trying to make him Scared, Paralyzed, Sleeping, or Stunned. Terry’s Verbal Bash might be a good idea against him, although it’s risky.
After that’s done, you can now keep on exploring Sub-Area 3. You’ll encounter a bunch of Barrel Bros here, which can do some damage, but don’t have much HP. You should be able to kill them before they get a chance to strike. After you beat them, they will randomly teleport you around, which is a bit annoying. I don’t think they can throw you off ledges or cliffs, but I wouldn’t risk it.
At the top of the screen, you can find Fancy Perfume, which will revive one party member with full HP.
Enter the next screen. Go down the rope. You may wish to fall off the cliff to your left–if you do, you will fall for 500 damage, but you will gain access to a cave with a Spiked Club and Fancy Perfume inside. You can then go back to the village in this area and give the Spiked Club to Mad Dog, although the Wet Stick you’ve found earlier is already a better weapon for Mad Dog.

———
Mad Dog[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Barbarian
TP-based. Most famous for his strong Fireball moves, which deal strong Fire damage and can burn his target. Also because he can cause Bleeding on enemies, while also dealing damage at the same time. He has a very high chance to Burn and Bleed his enemies, so that already makes him pretty good. Also is quite tanky, and has a way of generating TP very quickly. Doesn’t have any utility beyond that–in fact, he only learns stronger versions of the moves he already has when you pick him up, which are: Fireball, Taunt, and Nail Comb.
Might not be one of the best companions in the game, but is probably pretty close to it. Very solid addition to your team.
———

Just proceed to the next screen–there isn’t anything on this screen but Barrel Bros, one of which you can talk to (the sickly one who isn’t rolling). On the next screen, there’s a savepoint crow. Go on, and get kicked in the groin by Scott Lawson.
Just get back up on your bicycle, and proceed to the next screen. When you climb down the two ropes and go right, an Ambusher will ambush you. You can avoid this encounter by getting onto the next rope, but you might as well fight the Ambusher. This guy can actually do some damage, but he’ll die quickly enough. He’s weak to Fire damage. He drops 3 mags, with a chance for some healing items.
Enter the house, and witness a one-man rave. Later, you’ll be able to pick up the stash of magazines here, but not now.
Leave, and jump over to the ledge on the right. Get your revenge on Scott Lawson (he only dies on the inside, sadly). Receive 6 mags in return.
Proceed to the next screen. Listen in on a couple dudes talking. The car will drive off, and you will be attacked by Steel Blackman. He will shout some obscenities at you during the fight, and that’s just about the full extent of his offensive capabilities. Drops 6 mags.
You can climb down the rope to participate in a challenge. All you have to do is get to the end without crashing into any Barrel Bros, and before the time runs out (you cannot just drop down to the end right at the start–it does not work, I’ve tried). It costs 5 mags to participate, and when you win, you don’t get your mags back, strangely enough; instead, you will be rewarded with one Domestic Jerky, a healing item that restores 1000 HP. The challenge isn’t too difficult, although it can take a couple tries to nail it. If you have mags to burn, go for it.
There’s a fireplace on the next screen, but you shouldn’t have to rest. Even if somebody’s seriously hurt, you can just heal him back up with Jerky; it’s a much better option than to risk a random event.
Proceed to the next screen. You’ve arrived at the Magnificent Manes Men’s Club (it’s a big steel building with the word “BAR” scribbled over the doors). There’s also another savepoint here, and you might as well enter the building right now, but let’s explore this area first, alright?
If you proceed to the next screen on the right, you’ll witness another flashback/dreamlike sequence, this time involving your other pal, Sticky.
Continue. You’ll come to another screen full of Barrel Bros. Fight your way to the top, or sneak past them. You can find a Cigarette here. At the top of the mountain, you will find Goldie. Remember Rooster, the guy from the first screen, who called you a pervert? Well, now you can go back to him, ransom Goldie, and force him to join you, if you want.

———-
Rooster[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Chanticleer
Just kinda meh. To be fair, I haven’t tried him out that much, but from what I’ve seen, he just seems kinda weak. He can take some damage, and his Agi is very high (although not as high as Rage), but his damage seems weak. It takes him three levels until he learns Rooster Storm (Level 13), which damages all enemies at once, which is a bit of a rare move to have in this game. He later learns Rooster Apocalypse (Level 23), a stronger version of that move.
———-

Alternatively, you can just return Goldie to him for 100 mags.
Alright, so the next fight is actually gonna be pretty tough–maybe even a little tougher than the fight against Crack Ripper and his four cohorts, but it also turns manageable with the use of Firebombs.
It doesn’t matter much if Brad suffers from Joy Withdrawal; you’ll only want him to use Fireball for the fight, anyway. Once you’re ready, return to the steel building. Get up onto the small building with the word “BAR” scribbled on it. It’s where the savepoint crow is. Just go right, and enter the building through the hole in the wall.
None of the guys in here will attack you. Below, you can buy Potato Liquor, Diet Cocola Cola, and Lucrative Tea (which raises TP). There’s also a Gang Poster here.
Climb up the ropes and prepare for your first major boss fight: the Men’s Hair Club Presidents[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], and their Hair[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. Focus all attacks on the Hair first–its attacks are absolutely deadly. I advise you to throw Firebombs until the Hair is dead. Two Diesel Firebombs should do the trick. Since the Firebombs will also deal some decent damage on the Men’s Hair Club Presidents, they won’t survive much longer than their Hair does.

Walkthrough, Part 6; path to Area 2

Once they’re out of the way, proceed. On the next screen, you will find Fardy. For some reason, you are given the choice to let him lie there for a couple more moments. However, you will need to free him to progress, so let’s just go ahead and do that. Fardy joins your party.

———-
Fardy[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Truck Driver
Permanently suffers from Depression. That’s not a joke–his Atk, Def, and Agi are permanently reduced (however, that doesn’t really mean that much; the values you see when you look up his stats in the game are what you get in combat). Depression cannot be removed, and it never goes away.
He has one Weep skill, which will raise his SP, but causes him to Cry. Apart from that, he only learns Truck Slam skills. They hit all enemies, and will do some actually pretty decent damage.
I haven’t tested Fardy much, but he actually seems pretty strong. His Truck Slam skills cost a lot of SP, but he can regenerate his own SP thanks to Weep. Truck Slam 4 (Level 25) also has a really, really nice chance of Tripping enemies.
I think you can actually go ahead and make this guy a permanent addition to your team.
But then again, he can’t equip any armor, except for accessories, so he’ll probably get pretty fragile later on.
———-

Make your way back to the first screen. On the way, return to the rave house–you now can pick up the stash of magazines for 10 mags.

Once you’ve returned to the first screen, you can now proceed to the screen on the right. Fardy will use his tools to repair the bridge, and you will gain the Truck Keys, which will allow you to instantly return to the main screen of each of the three areas in the game; that is, after you’ve discovered them. For now, it only allows you to return to Area 1. Also, Fardy will only now actually learn his Truck Slam skill.
Proceed to the next screen. When you go right, a car will appear, coming right at you. You can dodge it by climbing down the rope. If you don’t, everybody in your party will take a lot of damage.
Proceed. Get up on the rope before Crush Mahone assaults you. Watch him fall flat on the ground, and then attack him while he’s down. Remember: You absolutely must do these things as described in this guide.
Enter the cave through the small hole above. You’ll encounter a creepy dreamlike thing. You can talk to it, if you want. If you leave and enter again, it’s gone.
Proceed to the next screen. You will encounter Cosmo Cassamassa. It doesn’t matter what you tell him–he will attempt to murder you in either case. He’s a little tough, he can do some damage, and he can cause Bleeding, but he shouldn’t be much of a problem.
You’ll come across a fireplace and another savepoint crow. I’ve actually tested this fireplace a lot, and it appears that random events are disabled for this one–meaning this fireplace is absolutely safe to rest at. There’s a tough fight right up ahead, so you should definitely rest here.
Once you’re ready, climb up the rope and face Sweet Tea Rakeem[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] and Vic Cherry[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] (that is, if you’re playing on Pain Mode; if you’re playing on Normal Mode, you will only fight Sweet Tea Rakeem). They can take lots and lots of damage, can do some serious damage, can Burn you–they’re quite tough. You should be able to beat them without using Firebombs, though feel free to use if necessary. They will frequently cast Fireball, which does a lot of Fire damage and has a good chance of Burning you. Remember: Wood Shield and Shag Poncho make you vulnerable to Fire damage.
Also, both of them are capable of using Heart Squeeze, one of the perma-kill moves in the game. However, the chances of them using it are extremely low.
Proceed into the cave. There’s nothing inside, so just leave the cave through the right. Outside, you will witness a disturbing event. Percy will join you.

———-
Percy[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Pushover
“Who cares.” – the entirety of his bio from the Lisa art collection
He comes with Sunscreen, Childs Blanket, and Old Sock, which are all really great items. You can give the Sunscreen to Brad, have anyone who’s currently wearing a shawl equip the Childs Blanket, and the Old Sock seriously increases Agi and gives its wearer Stink.
Eh, I guess this guy is kinda okay. His defensive stats are pretty bad, and so are his offensvie stats. His Agi is slightly above average. However, his skillset is pretty decent. He can heal, do fire damage, and cause Burning. Well, it’s not that much after all–but it’s something, isn’t it?
Also, his moves cost a lot of SP.
———-

Proceed to the next screen. There, you will find Rick. Story stuff happens. Eventually, you will be forced to beat up Rick. There’s nothing else to do. Once you’re bored of it, pick up the Spiked Club behind you.
You know what you need to do next.
(Don’t worry; he doesn’t die.)
Proceed to the next screen. You will be assaulted by Joshie Brighteyes (sort-of). You can choose to fight him, or not. He doesn’t seem that strong at all, and fighting him will earn you 555 EXP and 6 mags.
Enter the cave. Remember Buzzo? Well, he’s back. He’ll give you your second major decision to make in this game: Your left arm, or one of your companions (the second one in your party). Just don’t even try to fight Buzzo[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]–he is absolutely unbeatable, and you will have to go back and rest if you do.
Now, you can just take any one of the many disposable companions you’ve found so far, and put him in the second spot in your party and sacrifice him to Buzzo, but it appears that sacrificing a companion to Buzzo decreases some kind of invisible morality/loyality stat in the game. Companions seem to become much more likely to abandon your party when you rest at a fireplace–as in, that happened to me three times in a row personally. It’s always the last character on your party who leaves you, so I guess you can prepare, but still–do you really want to sacrifice another character every time you rest at a fireplace? Alternatively, you can just avoid resting at fireplaces, but that makes resting a bit of a hassle.
Or you can sacrifice your left arm… this will permanently decrease most of Brad’s stats, and it will reduce the amount of different punches he can do from 4 to 3, but he can still do all the moves he could do before. Brad still remains the strongest character in the game.
In actuality, losing an arm isn’t all that bad, really. Also, it’s the more bad-ass thing to do.
Though the other option is also pretty okay. They’re about equally bad.
Anyway, once you’ve made your decision, Buzzo will let you go. Proceed to the next screen. There’s a savepoint crow, and a kick-ass motorcycle segment happens, with a synth track and the sun in the horizon and everything.
If you fall down a cliff here, you’ll just return to the beginning, or to the last checkpoint you’ve crossed. This part is actally pretty easy, since you can just stop your motorcycle at any point, but where’s the fun in that?
Eventually, you’ll crash into Rando, destroying your motorcycle. Rando’s the other main villain of this game. He gives you eight Rando Rations (completely heals HP and SP).
Then, Rando drives off, and you’re left alone with Vernon Red, Don Skin, Laser Aldino, and Warren Red, who will attack you. If you’ve chosen to try and fight Buzzo and haven’t rested afterwards, you’ll have a real hard time in this fight. On the other hand, in every other case, they should be pretty easy.
However, it is worth mentioning that both Vernon Red and Warren Red may use Neck Break, which is a perma-kill move. Chances aren’t high at all they’ll use that move, but you may want to take care of these two first.

Walkthrough, Part 7

There’s another savepoint crow by the exit of this screen. And for the next part of the game, you’ll probably want to save beforehand.
Enter the cave. There’s nothing here besides one old guy you can talk to. When you leave, your party will be kidnapped, and you will be forced to win three rounds of Russian Roulette. That’s right–you don’t just have to play three rounds, but you have to win three rounds. You’re not playing it yourself–you get to choose a companion to do it, and they will die off for good if they lose. This goes on until you have beaten three enemies. Fortunately, the enemy always goes first, though bad luck can still screw you up royally.
Once you’re done, you can actually return here for more rounds of Russian Roulette. If you beat all the other contenders, Buckets will join you, you will get mags like crazy (we talking ~2500 mags here in total), and you will get the Sunsetter, the second strongest gun in the game.
There are ten contenders to beat, but the last contender will take two bullets to kill.
>>>11/24/2015 update: The roulette might be time-sensitive. Testing (by Jhoh gun keeker) has shown that you always get the bullet if you press the trigger right away. It might be programmed in a way where, every x seconds, there’s a “kill” period (meaning your companion will die if you pull the trigger at that time); it lasts for y seconds, and then it goes back to “safe”. Generally, it seems good to wait a certain time before pressing the trigger.

——–
Buckets[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Pistoleer
Starts out at Level 16, which is pretty sweet. Is addicted to Joy, which isn’t sweet at all.
His Atk stat can become extremely high thanks to the fact that he is dual-wielding. Even while on Joy Withdrawal, he can dish out okay damage. However, he is pretty vulnerable, having lower HP than most other companions you’ve come across–despite being levels higher than them. His Def and S.Def are alright though.
Can deal damage and do nothing else besides that. Coin Flick (which he starts off with) is his only ability which can do something else: It deals damage, and it has a chance to Scare an enemy, although the chance seems pretty low.
——–

I definitely wouldn’t say Buckets makes gambling all your companions away worth it. However, the mags you can get here are pretty crazy. Still, this seems like a seriously bad idea–later on, you will need all the companions you have.
Outside the building, there’s a Gang Poster. Go right and enter the cave through the small hole. Go up the rope and talk to Mike Pun Master, who will tell you some pretty funny puns no matter what you say. When he asks you if you think he’s funny, he’ll attack you if you choose “No.” And you probably should do exactly that so you can put him out of his misery. He doesn’t put up much of a fight at all, gives you 333 EXP, and drops 9 mags.
Then, go back down the rope, and then go right and climb down several ropes. Go left, and exit the cave. Talk to the man here, and you will see that Mike Pun Master’s legacy lives on, unfortunately. Th man will give you a Businessy Hat, which is a pretty good hat.
Go back into the cave, and now just climb up all the ropes and leave through the exit at the top. Jump onto the ledge to your right so you don’t get fall damage, and pick up Horse Jerky (recovers HP completely). To the left, below the guy looking up at the sky, you can find a Cocola Cola (recovers 400 SP).
When you go right and climb down the ropes, you’ll see that there’s “Jump” written on the wall below the cliff to the left. You can jump down this cliff, but you’ll just end up by the guy who gave you the Businessy Hat, and you’ll take a lot of fall damage.
Enter the screen on the right through the lower or the upper path–it doesn’t matter. Go right, and watch an inspiring cutscene. Fight Blake the Snake. He can take some damage, he can deal some, and he’s likely to poison you, but he shouldn’t be too tough.
The doorway to your left is where you were kidnapped by the Russian Roulette guys. It just leads back to the way you came.
Enter the next screen on the right, and you’ve finally arrived in Area 2.

Walkthrough, Part 8; Area 2 starts here

Again, we have a couple sub-areas to explore. First off, there’s a savepoint crow right at the beginning of the screen, there’s a Gang Poster on the ledge below, and when you enter the cave through the small hole in the wall next to the Gang Poster, you can get to a fireplace, where you can rest (at the risk of a random encounter). Also, on the screen to the right of the fireplace, you can find one Horse Jerky.
Also, if you just pass all the doorways and leave the screen to the right, you’ll get to another screen, but there’s nothing here but a couple NPCs. Later on, once you’ve found the TNT, two NPCs will block this path, asking you for the TNT. Absolutely do not give them the TNT–if you do, they will kill every NPC in one of the sub-areas, which definitely is a horrible and bad thing to happen. You can actually get to the next screen by going over the ledges above them, but you’ll just get stuck behind them. You can get back to the main screen of Area 2 by using the Truck Keys.
What I’m telling you is, just ignore the screen to the right. There’s nothing there.
And then there’s also a very, very high rope up above (with a shield saying “VERY IMPORTANT ABOVE” next to it). It takes a few minutes to climb all the way up, and then there’s nothing up there. If you do want to experience the climb for yourself, you can instantly get down again by using the Truck Keys (which can now teleport you to the main screen of Area 2).
So with all that crap out of the way, let’s begin exploring all the sub-areas there are here. Again, I number them in the same way as they are numbered in monday’s tour guide, to avoid confusion. That means the broad doorway on ground level leads to Sub-Area 1, the next door behind the boulders doesn’t lead anywhere because you can’t remove these boulders, and the door after that leads to Sub-Area 2. If you climb down the rope, there’s a small hole in the wall blocked by boulders, which you can later remove with TNT; the hole will lead you to Sub-Area 3, then. The doorway above the broad doorway leading to Sub-Area 1 can also later be accessed once you can remove the boulders with TNT; this doorway will then lead to Sub-Area 4. The small hole in the wall to the right of it leads to Sub-Area 5. If you climb up the ropes and go right, you’ll find the doorway which leads to Sub-Area 7. Once you have TNT, you can also access Sub-Area 6, which is hidden behind the boulders underneath the doorway leading to Sub-Area 7.
So to summarize, you can now access Sub-Area 1, 2, 5, and 7, while you will need TNT to access Sub-Area 3, 4, and 6. Really, it’s up to you in which order you want to explore these areas. You can find the TNT in Sub-Area 1. Sub-Area 4 leads to the next area, so everything else is optional.
But if you want to follow this guide, we’ll first be going to Sub-Area 5 (small hole in the wall above Sub-Area 2).

The hole should lead you to a red cave.
If you just go right from here, you’ll enter a dark cave. There’s a pretty hard boss (Henry Wyatt[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]) at the end of this cave, who has a very slim chance of using Fatal Chomp, a perma-kill move. If you don’t feel confident enough to beat him yet, you can return here later. You should do alright if your party’s all at least Level 14-15. Poison and other such effects work pretty good against him. There’s nothing inside this cave but an Old Record, which will later allow you to recruit Bo Wyatt.
Anyway… back in the red cave, climb down the ropes and go right. You’ve found the Pretty Boys HQ, which is where your companion will be held ransom should they get kidnapped.
If you go through the curtain door to the right, you’ll find yourself inside the gym. There’s not much to do here but talk to a bunch of NPCs. You can change the music by interacting with the boombox at the very right of the cave, which changes some of the dialogue.
There’s only one thing of importance here: In the room you can enter through the small hole in the upper left corner of the gym, you can have Brad lift weights, giving him experience points. All you have to do is mash the interact-button (Enter, or Space). This EXP gain is exclusive to Brad, however.
And now we’ve already explored the full extent of Sub-Area 5.
Return to the main screen (just use the Truck Keys and select Area 2).

Next we’re gonna get some TNT. This sub-area also has an inn and some other stuff, so it’s definitely good to explore this one early on.
Enter through the broad doorway. You’ll instantly see drawings of bananas on the walls of the cave as you enter. This is the turf of the Banana Splitz, who are–very much like the Schoolboy Shufflers–completely harmless.
Climb down the rope, go right, climb up the rope, and just keep going right, into a hidden section of the cave. Talk to the doll, and Laser Agar will approach you from behind and attack your party. It can take some time to kill him, and he’ll definitely do some damage on you, but he’s pretty easy. Gives you 1000 EXP, drops 12 mags, and you’ll also gain another Businessy Hat after the fight.
There’s a bunch of NPCs to talk to in this cave, and there’s a shop at the very bottom left corner of the cave. It sells a lot of very good armor and headwear, such as Sunscreen (one of the few only helmets Brad and Nern can equip), Sparkly Mask (the second best mask item in the game), Mid-Life Crisis Hat (which increases most stats, but reduces Luck by 18). You also have a choice of two ponchos: Greasy Poncho or Picnic Blanket. To make it quick, the Picnic Blanket is absolutely superior to the Greasy Poncho. These two are almost identical in stats, only that the Greasy Poncho also increases Agi by 2; however, the Greasy Poncho also makes its wearer Oily, increasing Fire damage against him. On the other hand, the Picnic Blanket will regenerate some HP each round during combat, and it will also heal its wearer while walking around outside of combat.
That’s all there is to this cave. Leave through the door to the right of the shop. Go right, climb up the three ropes, and enter the left screen. You’ve found another dojo. Talk to the guy, after he’s done introducing himself. Tell him you’re ready for the test (trust me, you are). He’ll tell you to go up onto the Tower of Patience (the tower of barrels), so go do that. Once you’re up there, he’ll tell you to test your patience.
Now, all you have to do is remain still for a couple minutes. You’re not done until the guy tells you so. Once you are, get down, and talk to him again. He’ll give you another scroll, which will raise one character’s SP and S.Atk by 5. Again, I recommend giving it to Brad–especially if you’re on a Joyless run. Remember: His Fireball moves work with S.Atk, so they still do some damage while on Joy Withdrawal.

Walkthrough, Part 9

Return to the screen to the right. There’s a monstrosity below, but it won’t attack you. To the right, there’s a savepoint crow and an Inn, where you can rest safely for 10 mags. In certain cases (that is, if you’ve sacrificed one of your companions to Buzzo), I highly recommend always resting at this inn instead of the fireplace at the beginning of the area.
Also, inside the inn, you will find Geese. To recruit him into your party, you just have to rest at the inn four times. Each time you rest (and before you rest), you can talk to Geese, and he will have something new to say. This is most pivotal in understanding the psyche of Geese.

———–
Geese[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Avioon
I really like this guy. His starting level is a bit low at Level 11, but he does really good damage (he’ll probably be doing more damage than most of your other companions, despite the Level disadvantage), and his defensive stats are pretty good, too. He also learns the ability to Poison (Level 13), Deep Poison (Level 21), and Paralyze (Level 22) one single enemy, but all of these abilities don’t do any initial damage, so they’re not quite as good as similar abilities of other characters (Olan’s Poison Arrows, Beastborn’s Paralyzing Whip). They are nice abilities to have, though.
Geese definitely is a good addition to your team. If you just want someone who can do plenty damage and doesn’t fall over instantly, with some added utility, Geese is really good.
His basic attack is replaced by Peck, which works just like a basic move, except it uses S.Atk instead of Atk. Also, all of his special moves use S.Atk, so he doesn’t use Atk, ever. Don’t bother getting him better weapons–there are no wristbands in the game that increase S.Atk. In fact, you can go ahead and unequip his Wool Wristbands and sell them, and never bother to get him new wristbands.
Also, you should replace his Greasy Poncho with a Picnic Blanket.
Is one of the few characters in the game who can do Animal elemental damage. In general, Animal damage is effective against animals or animal-like opponents, including the Dojo Buster (aka Tiger Man) boss in Sub-Area 7. Dojo Buster is about it, though.
———–

Proceed to the next screen on the right. On this screen, you will encounter various Footballers. They’re comparable in strength to the Barrel Bros. They always drop 3 mags, with a chance of Mystery Jerky and an empty bottle.
There’s also people throwing hammers here, which will do 10 damage on your whole party when hit. That’s not much, but if you stand too close to one of the hammer-throwers, they can quickly drain your HP away.
Just proceed normally. You can get an empty bottle by dropping from a ledge, but don’t forget to get off your bike before you do.
On the lower right corner of the screen, you can find a Cigarette and a water pump, which you can use to turn empty bottles into Bottle of Dirty Water or Bottle of Water (random). Left from the water pump, there’s another empty bottle.
Proceed left, down, and climb down to another screen. Right below, you can find one Fancy Perfume. To the right, there’s a creepy house. Inside, you can find a stash of 50 mags.
Return to the screen above.
You can just proceed to the next screen by climbing and fighting your way to the upper right corner of the screen, but there is an Old Sock (accessory which increases Agi and gives its wearer Stink) you can find here. When you’re getting towards the top of the screen, there is one ledge from which you have to drop to the left to get the Old Sock. You know it’s the right ledge if you can see a table and chair just at the lower left corner of the screen. Also, you will constantly be hit by a hammer-thrower while you’re standing on this ledge. You have to be on your bicycle to make this fall. You’ll land right next to the chair, receiving 100 fall damage. Then, go left, climb up the barrels and onto the next ledge, go left, and you should be able to see the item on the ledge below. Again, fall down while on your bicycle. You may now pick up an Old Sock.
Then, proceed to the next screen on the right. On this screen, there’s more Footballers to fight, but no hammer-throwers. You can drop down a ledge to find a Cigarette. To the right of the Cigarette, there is another Cigarette (you can sell these for 25 mags each). On the ground below, there’s a generator you can use to turn empty bottles into Firebombs.
At the upper right corner of the screen, there’s a bar, where you can later recruit Carp, once you’ve found the Green Paste in Sub-Area 2. There’s also a Gang Poster here. You can buy an assortment of drinks here, including Iced Coffee for 50 mags, which recovers all HP and SP of one character completely (however, remember: You should still have those 8 Rando Rations from before).
From the bar, you can also drop to the right to get to a weapon vendor. I recommend getting the All-Star Bands for Brad and the Peacemaker for Nern, as it increases S.Atk by 10.
Next, go left. By dropping from the ledges the right way, you can get to the screen below. Here, another cutscene involving the Salvation Rangers will happen. D.ck, the Pink Ranger, will join your party.

———–
[link], Party Boy
A Joy addict. TP-based. Can learn some cool moves later on, but takes some time.
Headspin (Level 14) does damage to all enemies and has a chance to Trip them; however, this move is pretty much just a slightly worse version of Fardy’s Truck Slam.
What makes him unique is Party Time (Level 16). It puts everyone in your party into Party Mode, but, for each party member, there’s a small chance they won’t be affected. Party Mode increases Atk, S.Atk, Agi, and Luck, which might seem pretty good at first. However, the increase is only 10%, so it isn’t crazily good.
Is able to generate a lot of TP on himself beginning with Level 19 thanks to Party Pose.
And that’s pretty much it. Appears to be very, very mediocre. The fact he’s a Joy addict makes him worse than mediocre. Can be alright, I guess. Get him the Sparkly Mask from the shop at the Banana Splitz cave if you choose to have him.
———–

This time, you can’t fight Snake the Blake, so there’s nothing left to do here.
Return to the screen above, and enter the screen to the right. You can enter this screen through an upper path or a lower path; if you choose the upper path, you can drop down to another ledge for 50 fall damage, but it allows you to pick up one Fancy Perfume.
Go right. There’s a savepoint crow. You can save here now, or I guess you could save here later, when you come back here to buy something else at the weapon vendor or when you come here to recruit Carp.
Now, get into the bulldozer. Inexplicably, you will now mow down a bunch of innocent construction workers. You get experience points for each of them, so make you get ’em all! It appears that each of your companions gets those experience points, including those who aren’t currently on your party.
Eventually, you will fight Horrace. For the entirety of this fight, Brad will be in bulldozer mode, severely restricting his moveset. Often, Horrace will just waste his turn doing nothing, but when he does attack, he does some good damage. He can also take a lot of it. This fight shouldn’t be all that hard, though.
Afterwards, your bulldozer will break. You can pick up Horrace’s Hardhat lying on the ground. Proceed to the next screen. There’s a special generator here, which allows you to turn empty bottles into Diesel Firebombs. Once you’re done with the generator, pick up the TNT above. Doing so will instantly bring you back to the main screen of Area 2.

Walkthrough, Part 10

Now that you have the TNT, you can get to exploring any one of the seven sub-areas you want. It also means that now there’s these guys I wrote about earlier, blocking the right exit of the screen. They will pay you 100 mags if you just “give” them some TNT (you’ll still be able to access all the areas), but doing so will kill all of the NPCs from Sub-Area 7 (Karate Village). If you really want the mags, you should at least explore all there is to Sub-Area 7 before doing this.
Also, you can get stuck behind those guys, so don’t do that, either.
The TNT you have now is actually all you need to progress in the game. Sub-Area 4 will lead to the next area (Area 3). However, if you want to explore all there is to the game, and want to do so in the most efficient and hand-holding manner, continue reading.

From the broad doorway, keep going right, until you’re at the rope leading down. Climb down the rope, and blow up the boulders. You can now access Sub-Area 3 through the small hole in the wall; you can also climb down the rope to the right of the hole, where you’ll find Shardy and his boat. Whenever you find a map, you can give it to Shardy, who will then bring you to other places.
But for now, since we shouldn’t have a map yet, go back up the rope, and enter Sub-Area 3 through the hole we’ve just uncovered. You’ll find yourself inside a generic-looking cave. Go down the ropes, and enter the doorway below. You’ve found Garth, who will join your party if you pay him 150 mags.

——–
Garth[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Artist
Pretty weird character. First off, his basic attack is replaced by Dirty Stab, which does crap damage, but has a very good chance of Poisoning an enemy. Agreeable Drawing (Level 15) will remove almost any negative status condition, but can only be used on an enemy, making the skill completely useless–it’s most likely bugged.
First and foremost, Garth can buff any party member’s Atk and Def through Risky Drawing (starts off with) and Uncomfortable Drawing (Level 10) respectively. Much later on (only beginning with Level 18), he also becomes able to inflict negative status conditions on enemies. He’s probably pretty alright at that, but he never learns to do any damage, really–his Dirty Stab is the only tool he has to deal damage.
Also, he starts out at Level 8, which is pretty pitiful. Apart from that and the fact he can barely do any damage, he’s actually pretty good and a solid addition to most party compositions. Risky Drawing will heavily boost the damage output of Joy crits, and then he also inflict several disabling status conditions, some of which are pretty rare: He can Piss off (Level 18), Confuse (Level 20), Stun (Level 21), put to Sleep (Level 23), Scare (Level 25).
In fact, Perplexing Drawing, which inflicts Confuse (works kinda like Sleep in this game) is, with a cost of 20 SP and a whopping 90% success chance, the best move in the game for a Sleeplock strategy. The only enemies in the game immune to Confuse are those who are also immune to Sleep, Paralyze, and Scared.
Comes with Cape, which is a really decent accessory, boosting Def, S.Def, and Agi by a lot.
——–

Continue. There’s nothing else in this cave but the doorway to the left of here, up above. You can get to the Duffel Bag below later.
So exit the cave, and just go right. Another Salvation Rangers cutscene will happen. Fight Demon X. Sadly, this fight is just about as unbeatable as Buzzo, so let’s just get this over with (you won’t die, promised). One of the Salvation Ranger will become nostalgic and spin a tale from days gone by.
Anyway, now, your party’s all at 1 HP, but that shouldn’t become a problem, yet. Keep going right. Enter through the small hole in the wall, and witness another episode of the Salvation Rangers saga by talking to the Red Ranger. After that’s over, leave the cave through either exit.
To the left of the small hole in the wall, there’s a Cigarette. And there’s a doorway, which will lead you to the Duffel Bag. This thing will allow you to recruit RT in Sub-Area 2, which is up right next after we’ve discovered all that’s left to Sub-Area 3 (there isn’t much left).
At the outside screen, you can get to the desert village through the doorway in the upper right corner of the screen. There’s also a savepoint crow here. But before you go here, you might want to go back and rest (don’t forget those Truck Keys).
Once you’re ready, enter the village. Now, just drop off of the cliff to your left for 500 fall damage. Enter a cave through the small hole in the wall. Go right, and leave the cave through another small hole in the wall. You’ve come to another dojo.
Talk to the guy, and prepare to fight Cousin Alfonso Christ. Cousin Alfonso mainly has tons and tons of HP, and he can cause your guys to get Pissed, which can be pretty dangerous. He can be a little difficult, but not much. If your party’s strong, you should be able to beat him without having to recover from the 500 fall damage you’ve taken earlier. The scroll you get in return increases Atk and Luck by 8. Definitely give it to Brad.
Enter the cave again, and go right. Go up the ropes. There’s a merchant here who will sell you some pretty good healing items, such as Horse Jerky and Fancy Perfume. There’s something odd about this guy: The first time you buy from him, the Fancy Perfume will only be 14 mags each. When you talk to him again, if you have Fancy Perfume, he’ll buy it from you for 80 mags (once). Afterwards, the price of Fancy Perfume will rise to 20 mags from 14 mags.
After you’re done here, leave through the small hole above. There’s an empty bottle to the left.
Down and left is a bar, and below the bar, there’s a Gang Poster. Inside the bar, you can recruit Clint Olympic for 500 mags.

——–
Clint[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Casanova
Uses dial combos. And is a Joy addict. Doesn’t use any weapons, doesn’t wear any armor. I haven’t tested him much, but he’ll probably get pretty weak in the late game. His stats are all pretty average.
He can mainly do damage with his skills, but he’s also able to inflict a lot of negative status conditions on his enemies. He’s able to Blind all enemies at once with Magnificent Pose (starts off with), which is interesting, he can Trip enemies over, and he can Paralyze. He also has Burning Eagle (Level 23), which does Fire elemental damage and has a chance to Burn, but it comes way too late.
Starts off at Level 14, which is just kinda alright. You spend 500 mags on this guy, and that’s it.
Maybe he can be good. I doubt it.
Comes with Denim Jeans.
——–

At the bartender, you can buy some drinks, one of which is Olathian Whiskey. Buy at least one of it–you need it to recruit Birdie in Sub-Area 7. Birdie’s one of the best companions in the game, and he’s definitely worth the 20 mags.
Outside the bar, go to the right, and go through the doorway. Talk to the two guys at the left. Then, talk to the guy at the right (Gavin Davidson), who will attack your party. He doesn’t put up much of a fight. You’ll get 455 EXP from the fight, and he will drop 11 mags and Studded Bands. Unfortunately, the guys at the left won’t reward you.
Leave, go up the rope, and enter the doorway to the right. There’s another weapon vendor inside, who sells weapon that are superior to the ones you could find at the construction site in Sub-Area 1. Well, except for The Ruler, which doesn’t raise S.Atk and is therefore a worse choice for Nern than Peacemaker is. The Cotton Wristbands, on the other hand, are extremely good. Also, you can buy the Adventure Whip here, which is the best whip-type weapon in the game.

Walkthrough, Part 11

Leave. To the right, there’s another empty bottle. From there, climb up a couple ropes. At the highest point of the village, you will find Ajeet Mandeep, who will join your party, unless Brad is currently in Joyed mode.

——–
Ajeet[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Playboy
Another pretty interesting character. His basic attack is replaced with Punjabi Poke, which brings you to a skill menu, giving you four different pokes to choose from. Each has a very high chance of inflicting a negative status condition on the enemy, but doesn’t do any initial damage. Punjabi Poke doesn’t cost any SP.
However, don’t mistake Ajeet for a pure utility character because of that–he has a series of damage skills, albeit they are all single-target, and most of them have a chance of missing. Rocket Piercer (starts off with) is his only special move that has a 100% hit chance. A lot of his moves also cost tons of SP; Rocket Piercer is probably your best choice in combat in most cases because of the fact it’s only 10 SP and always hits.
Comes with Floral Shirt, which makes its wearer Cool, healing HP every round in combat. Also comes with Badass Belt Buckle, which raises Def by 33. However, with or without the Badass Belt Buckle, Ajeet is a pretty tanky character.
All around, Ajeet is a very solid addition to your team.
——–

A bit to the left, there’s also a house with one Iori Stevens inside, who will attack your party. Can take some damage, can Paralyze you, but probably won’t put up much of a fight for your party. Gives you 400 EXP, and drops 4 mags.
And that’s all there is to Sub-Area 3.

Before you go on into Sub-Area 2, you might want to recruit Birdie real quick; he’s just by the entrance of Sub-Area 7, and all it takes to recruit him is to bring him one Olathian Whiskey.
Once you enter Sub-Area 2 (which is to the right of the broad doorway that led to Sub-Area 1), you’ll find yourself inside another shadow cave. In here, you can randomly encounter Shadowy Figures, which are identical to the ones you could fight in Area 1.
Just keep going right until you see an exit. Use it. You’re in the Swamp now. First, go left. There’s a savepoint crow here. Keep going. The strange-looking man with the diver’s helmet is Bo Wyatt. Talk to him, and he’ll tell you about his brother and music and stuff.
If you’ve gotten the Old Record from Sub-Area 5, you can now use it on the old-timey record player to the left of the bar. Do that, talk to Bo again, who will then join you so you can bring him to his brother.

——–
Bo[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Bard
Pure support character. All of his skills target the whole party or all enemies at once. Has only one skill that can do any damage, Screeching Call (starts off with), and its damage isn’t that high; however, the skill also has a good chance of causing Bleeding, which makes it useful in boss fights.
Apart from that, he can cause various negative status conditions on his enemies, he can heal the entire party, and he can cleanse the entire party of every negative status condition there is in the game. Possibly the best support in the game, although, in my opinion, supports aren’t very good in the late game.
Uses dial combos–theoretically. However, his basic attacks do not do any damage, so there’s really no reason to perform his skills by doing the dial combos. You can simply use his skills by directly choosing them from the skills menu. This is most likely a design oversight, and you’ll have to decide for yourself if you feel comfortable taking use of it.
If you actually do take him to see his brother’s corpse (Henry Wyatt, back in the dark cave in Sub-Area 5), he will leave your party, and he will never return. He’ll give you 100 mags in return, though. Unless it gnaws at your conscious, I don’t recommend doing that.
——–

At the bar, you can buy some drinks, including Olathian Whiskey.
Return to where you came from. Outside of the swamp village, you may randomly encounter Poisonous Snake when stepping on cattails (corn dog grass). Just target them with your strongest moves so they die before they get to Poison you. You get 500 EXP from them and nothing else.
There’s also a Strange Man Hiding to the right, who’ll attack you if you come close to him. He’ll just try to hide and disguise himself; I’m not sure if this guy can even damage you. Drops 43 mags. Right of him, there’s a Cocola Cola hidden behind some cattails.
Enter the screen to the right, and witness another flashback. The scrawny blonde kid with the mullet is Dusty (trust me, he’s an important character).
Proceed to the next screen. On this screen is the hidden entrance to Fishmen Village. It’s a hole in the ground that’s exactly one tile wide, so it’s impossible to enter the village while on a bicycle. You’ll have to dismount and just drop down into the water–don’t worry, it’s gonna be okay. You won’t even take any fall damage.
You can exit Fishmen Village at any point by jumping into the water left of the entrance. Or you can use your trusty Truck Keys.
In Fishmen Village, there isn’t much to do or find. You can’t really talk to any of the NPCs. On the second screen of Fishmen Village, there’s a vendor who sells Green Paste for 50 mags. It has only one use: To recruit Carp at the construction site bar in Sub-Area 1.

——–
Carp[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Cutthroat
Joy addict. Stats don’t seem that great, but he can do good damage, and his Agi is extremely high, being the highest among any companion in the game. Also, his Luck is awesomely high, too, and he will crit quite a lot thanks to that (even when he isn’t Joyed). He has the unique ability to decrease an enemy’s stats through Wrist Slash (Level 17) and Ankle Slash (Level 20).
Fever River 3 (Level 24) attacks seven times, with each hit being able to crit; if you give him Joy beforehand, this move will do between 5000 and 6000 damage in total.
His basic attack actually costs 5 SP each time you use it. If Carp runs out of SP, he can’t attack.
If you’re willing to have another Joy junkie on your team, I’d say go for him. Can quickly cut down the stronger bosses in the game.
You can buy him a Switchblade at the desert village in Sub-Area 3.
——–

There’s one suspiciously human-looking fishman at the very top of the village. He has half a dozen different things to say.
Next, steal the map at the upper right corner of the screen. It’s the Garbage Map, which allows you to travel to Garbage Island on Shardy’s boat. However, first, you’ll be knocked out by the fishmen, and you must defend yourself in court. The best cutscene in the game happens. The dialogue is different depending on what you choose to say.
After it’s done, you may choose to recruit Harvey.

——–
Harvey[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Lawyer
Excels at causing negative status effects on enemies. Can also do some decent damage. Okay defensive stats.
All his Advisory-class moves have a pretty high chance of causing the enemy to bleed in addition to their other effects. In fact, Slander (starts with) may cause a total of four different negative status conditions: Pissed, Crying, Scared, Bleeding.
His Water Gun moves all work with S.Atk. Tuesday Morning is the best S.Atk uzi, so that’s probably the best weapon for him. Also, all of these moves remove Burning from the enemy, which kinda sucks.
All of his skills drain a lot of SP, which can also be a problem.
About average companion. Can be pretty good.
——–

Also, the suspiciously human-looking fishman has something new to say to you.
That’s the entirety of Fishman Village, then. Return to the swamp, which you can either do by going back through Fishman Village, or by using the Truck Keys.

Walkthrough, Part 12

Once you’re back up, proceed to the next screen to the right of the entrance to Fishman Village. There’s a fireplace here, but there’s really no reason at all to rest here.
Proceed to the next screen, and watch the cutscene. You’ve arrived at Queen Roger’s Beehive. On this screen, the cattails are completely safe again. To the right, there’s a savepoint crow and a water pump.
Inside the Beehive, there’s another empty bottle. The third door from the left (green curtains) will lead you to RT, who will join your band of warriors if you give him the Duffel Bag from Sub-Area 3.

———-
RT[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Wildcard
“One wild ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.” – ingame description
Extremely strong companion. Very tanky, excels at dealing single-target damage, and can also reliably inflict various negative status condition (except for Sleeper Hold (Level 16), which only has a 50% chance of inflicting Sleep). His Savage Elbow moves are his most devastating moves, and they barely cost any SP, too, but his Fire elemental skills (Bag Fire, Bag Flames, Bag Inferno) only deal slightly less damage, and don’t cost too much SP, either. And since they also have a chance of Burning the target, you should always open up with one of those, and only start bringing out the Elbow once they’re Burning.
All of his moves use Atk, including the Fire elemental skills.
———-

Inside the next room to the right, there’s a dude offering to show you what a real man feels like. If you “allow it,” Brad’s Def will increase by 6.
The next door to the right allows you to access the lower level of the Beehive. There’s also a Cigarette here.
The last room on the lower level has Kim Sex Machine inside. He will offer you to show you his dance; if you decline, that’s alright. However, if you let him do the dance, and you tell him at any point that you don’t like it, he will attack. And, surprisingly enough, Kim Sex Machine is actually a little dangerous. He has a small chance of using either Fatal Chomp or Heart Squeeze, which are perma-kill moves that will remove one of your companions from the game. However, you should be able to kill him before he has a chance to attack. You get 1 EXP from him and nothing else.
Alternatively, if you let him do his dance and say yes to all his questions, he will give you a Tissue. You can repeat this interaction as often as you like for an endless amount of Tissues.
Once you’re done with Kim Sex Machine, go to the upper level of the Beehive. Here, in the middle room, you may find Queen Roger’s office. There’s a Gang Poster here. And there’s also Queen Roger, who will offer you to work for him as a male prostitute.
You can either do this part, or skip it. There’s nothing graphic, and all you do is scratch and massage other men for a bit. But you don’t really get anything great out of it, anyway. I’ll just assume we’re going along with this and will now lead you through the prostitution process.
So once you’ve agreed to work as a bee, you’ll find yourself in a small room. To actually get a client, you have to step in front of the door, and select “Wait” (You may also leave at any point).
There’s a good chance your “client” will just leave again, but there are a few that you will actually have to service. This will bring up the battle screen. However, your moves are replaced with Whisper, Back Rub, and Scratch. Each client has other weaknesses. Just try everything out until you find something that works; there’s virtually no way of failing at this part. These are the clients you have to service:

• Wyatt Business King: 100 EXP, 26 mags in total, weak to Back Rubs
• Willard Dillard: 53 EXP, 7 mags in total, weak to Scratching
• Joe Kansas: 53 EXP, 15 mags in total, weak to Whisper

In addition them, there’s also one client who will ask you for an idea on what he should name his new gang. These are your choices, and the rewards:

• Diddle Kidz: diddly squat (nothing)
• Decent Dudes: 3 mags
• Susan B. Anthony Boys: 6 mags

Once you’ve serviced all your clients, you will be brought back to Queen Roger’s office. Also, Brad’s armor has been unequipped–make sure to put them back on. If you talk to Queen Roger, you’re given the opportunity to recruit him for your party.

———-
Queen[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Queen Bee
Joy addict. Stats are all pretty mediocre. Has one unique move, Extort (starts off with), which has a high chance of causing an enemy to become Extorted. Extorted causes the enemy to drop twice the amount of mags. If that sounds like a neat thing to you, and you’re okay with Queen’s Joy addiction, go with him. Apart from that, he can only do damage, and he isn’t very good at that.
There is one other gimmick with him, though: All his Beatdown skills hit the enemy several times, and each hit is treated like a normal attack. There are several clubs in the game that have a chance of causing negative status conditions on attack; this works with Queen’s Beatdown skills, meaning he has a good chance of causing those status conditions. There is: Head Rocker, with a chance to Stun (can be bought in the desert village); Nail Bat, with a chance to Bleed; The Homer, with a chance to Trip.
Starts a bit low at Level 13.
———-

That’s it for Sub-Area 3. Use your Truck Keys to return to the main screen of Area 2.

Walkthrough, Part 13

Enter Sub-Area 7 through the uppermost doorway. You should be in another generic-looking cave. Climb up one rope, go right, climb down two ropes. To the left, there’s a bar, but you can’t buy anything here. And there’s Birdie, who will join you if you give him one Olathian Whiskey.

——–
Birdie[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Drunkard
TP-based. Basic attack is replaced with Swig, which targets Birdie himself. Raises his TP, raises his Atk for three rounds, and has a 60% chance of making him Drunk.
Only companion in the game who’s able to make enemies Oiled Up, which increases the Fire damage they take by 250% (yup). Birdie is vastly recognized as one of the best companions in the game already because of that alone, and he’s always part of what people call an Oil + Fire set-up.
On top of that, Birdie can also do decent damage, can heal the entire party at once, and can cure most negative status conditions (Level 22). The only drawback to Birdie is the fact he needs to recharge his TP every now and then by taking a Swig.
Definitely one of the best companions in the game, if not the best companion, period.
——–

Continue on through the cave. Eventually, you’ll find an exit that brings you to the top of Karate Village. Climb down the ropes. Inside the small hole in the wall to your left, you’ll find Jack‘s Travelling Magic Show. If you bring him new playing cards (which you can get from somewhere else in Sub-Area 7), he’ll join your party.
But for now, just keep going left. On the left screen is Yazan, who will tell you about his aspirations and goals. Just listen to him, and he will join your party.

——–
Yazan[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Cat Shephard
A samurai with a cat. That right there is already the main reason anyone would add this guy to their party.
Very fragile. All of his moves cost a lot of SP, which he doesn’t have that much of. He can use Blood-Stained Blade (Level 23) to regenerate his own SP, but that move comes pretty late. Especially considering he starts at Level 10, which is pretty bad.
Lioness’s Fury (Level 1) is pretty decent, doing alright damage with a good chance to Bleed the target for only 5 SP.
Can also increase the whole party’s Agi (starts off with), decrease one enemy’s Agi (Level 19), and heal himself (Level 17).
All of his moves do Animal elemental damage, including his basic attack. This might come in handy for the upcoming boss battle (Dojo Buster).
——–

Then, return to the village. Just keep going right, and pass up on the house that says “Bob’s Dojo” for now. There’s a fireplace with soup.
On the screen to the right is Morty’s Yard Sale. For 200 mags, you can buy Playing Cards here, which will allow you to recruit Jack.

——–
Jack[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Magician
Very powerful companion with loads of utility.
Apart from his ability to Scare an enemy (Lvl 15), which is very useful against some of the bosses in the game, he has two things to point out: his Magic Hat skills and his Juggle skills. Magic Hat will cause something random to happen to one enemy (damage, one among various negative status conditions, or nothing at all), which I guess is a bit interesting. His Juggle moves, on the other hand, are the real attraction: They do a lot of Fire elemental damage on all enemies at once, with a good chance to cause Burning.
Basic attack is replaced with Card Toss, which has a good chance to Bleed the target.
Stats are pretty average. Being able to do good Fire damage and able to deal damage to all enemies at once already make this a very good companion to have. On top of that, he has access to some nice status effects.
——–

And you can also buy Weird Doll for 32 mags, which you can give to the orange-haired guy up on the cliff, who will give you Olathian Whiskey in return. That is not a good deal, as Olathian Whiskey can be bought from 20 mags, so don’t do any of the things I just described.
But there’s also a Dismal Map for 55 mags, which can bring you to Dismal Island, where the adventure of a lifetime awaits you.
Anyway, once you’re done here, return to Bob’s Dojo. There’s a Cigarette on the roof.
Inside Bob’s Dojo, you will fight the Dojo Buster, who’s a really tough boss. Make sure all your guys are good, and then head inside.
A cutscene will happen, and then you will get the chance to fight the Dojo Buster. This guy has tons of HP, and his attacks hit real hard. It’s likely that he will be one-hit killing one of your guys with each one of his attacks. Also, he inflicts Bleed with his attacks. On the other hand, the Dojo Buster will sometimes just waste his turn Guarding, so he isn’t all that tough. Poison and other such effects work pretty good on him. He is also weak to Animal elemental damage.
Once you’ve beaten him, everyone who’s alive will get 3000 EXP. Doesn’t drop any items or mags. Then, the Dojo Buster joins your party.

——–
Tiger Man[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Dojo Buster
And suddenly, the Dojo Buster doesn’t seem that strong at all.
Joy addict, uses dial combos. His stats are all pretty bad. Even worse defensive stats than Yazan–very, very fragile.
He basically has one single move, which he gets 6 different variations of: Damage a single target, good chance of Bleeding. Red Tide (Level 24) has a guaranteed Bleeding chance.
Also, his stronger moves drain absurd amounts of SP.
However: He can do some pretty good damage. If you just want a heavy hitter, Tiger Man’s probably alright. Personally, it appears to me that he’s simply a weaker, less useful version of Carp, but I haven’t tested him that much.
——–

There’s only one thing left to do here. Go back to the Yard Sale on the right, climb up all the ropes, and go left. Master Friday is hiding behind a wall here. Talk to him, and he will return to the dojo. You may now buy Student Creed from him for 1000 mags, which unlocks a Steam achievement, and does absolutely nothing else.
Return to the main screen of Area 2. Up next is Garbage Island, where we’ll pick up the last two companions of Area 2.

Walkthrough, Part 14; Garbage Island

Climb down the ropes at the right to get to Shardy’s boat. Move up real close to him, open your inventory, use the Garbage Map from the Key Items tab, and enjoy the trip.
Once you’ve arrived on Garbage Island, move right. You’ll find that Garbage Island has a surprisingly chill background track. Keep going right, until you come across a paper-bag-wearing guy. He won’t let you pass, unless Brad currently is afflicted by Stink. The Stench and Old Sock accessories both will do that for you just by equipping them. These accessories are a bit rare, but you should definitely have one of these somewhere; for instance, Birdie comes with an Old Sock equipped.
After he lets you pass, you can have Brad equip his old stuff again. Just up right, above, there’s a savepoint crow. And there’s Fly Minetti to the right, who will later join you. How much later? Well, that depends how good you are at Cart Racing.
Just below, there’s an NPC who allows you to partake in a Cart Race. You have to pay 10 mags each time you do, and you win 20 mags if you win the race. All you have to do in the race is mash your interact-button as fast as possible (Enter, or Space). After each victory, Fly Minetti will give a remark on your racing abilities. After you’ve won three times, you’ll race against the Cart Racing champion himself, Fly Minetti. If you win, you may talk to him again, and then he will join your party.

——–
Fly[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Cart Master
Has two different moves: Cart Slam, and Puke. His Cart Slam skills deal good damage to all enemies, with a high chance to Trip them over. His Puke skills don’t seem that great; while they can inflict some good negative status conditions (Poison, Paralysis), it’s most likely they’ll just cause Rage and Stink. These two are actually positive status conditions: Rage increases Crit Rate for the enemy by 30%, Stink increases evasion. Super Puke (Level 23) does also have a good chance to Blind the target, though.
Agi is pretty high, and his defensive stats are decent, too. Starts out at Level 19, which is really nice. Also comes with a Floral Shirt.
Good addition to your party. Just very limited and a bit random.
——–

Procced to the next screen on the right. From here on, walking through trash may cause various random encounters. All of the enemies give you 100 EXP and 9 mags; none of them are any special. This is actually a worse place to grind than Shadowy Figures.
Continue on right. Around the mid-point of this screen, there’s one Fancy Perfume lying around on the ground, which can be a little hard to see.
Eventually, you’ll come across a crawling monstrosity, which goes by the name Georgy[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. You can avoid fighting him for now, but on the way back, you’ll have to fight him, anyway (your Truck Keys have been taken away). Right on the screen behind him, there’s a savepoint crow and a Gang Poster; you might want to use those before fighting Georgy.
Georgy may use Neck Break, a perma-kill move, but that is extremely unlikely. He has a lot of HP, and he can do some good damage, but not even closely as much as Dojo Buster did. He will also waste most of his turns doing nothing much. Is immune to most status conditions, but shouldn’t be too tough. You gain 3000 EXP and 3 Joy from the fight.
Below Georgy, there’s an empty bottle and a stash of 40 mags. The empty bottle is near the left cliff, and the stash is a bit to the right off it.
Proceed to the next screen. Next, you will come across Tom “Brightside” Miller, who will instantly blow his brains out, killing himself.
Just right of him, there’s a savepoint Crow, and there’s Ollie’s. Inside, there’s a Gang Poster. Talk to Ollie. If you pay off his debts, he will join your party. That’s 2 mags.

——–
Ollie[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Greaser
Suffers from Depression. All of his stats are pretty low, except for his HP. His SP and Luck are the worst. He will run out of SP extremely fast in combat. Just look at his pitiful, tiny SP pool. What the ♥♥♥♥.
His moveset seems interesting, though. He can do good damage against all opponents at once with his Dancing skills, which all have a chance to Scare and/or Trip the enemies. His Powder skills are also a nice addition, although some of them really blow. Sleep Powder (Level 23) costs 40 SP (that’s about half of Ollie’s entire SP pool), has only a 55% chance to cause Sleep, and does nothing else.
Sister’s Kiss (Level 25) is his final move. It does a lot of damage on one enemy, has a chance to Scare them, and will cause them to Cry and fall into Depression. However, it costs a lot of SP, and there’s good chance it will miss.
Ollie seems interesting, but almost everything about him is awful. At least he starts at Level 17, so there’s that.
——–

Leave. On the screen to the right, there’s a fireplace, where you can rest. There’s not much reason to rest, though.
And that’s Garbage Island for ya. You’ll have to go all the way back to Shardy on foot to return to Area 2.

Walkthrough, Part 15

Right about now, you’ll probably have noticed that you have a ridiculous amount of companions at your disposal. That’s because Area 2 just throws them at you left and right–from this point on, there are only four more companions to find.
And trust me, soon enough, you’ll miss those days when the character selection screen seemed so bloated.
That is, unless you have a strategy against the many perma-kill enemies in the late game. If you haven’t read the thing before the beginning of this walkthrough on Perma-Kill Counter Strategies, you should do that now.
At this point of the game, you should start thinking about your party composition. Because, right now, you have almost all companions there are in the game. And those you can still get don’t really change anything.
Plus, the next sub-area gives you a lot of EXP, giving whoever’s on your party a strong boost.

Next up is Sub-Area 6: the laboratory. To get there, you have to go right from the doorway leading to Sub-Area 7 (Karate Village). Drop down from the ledge. Blow up the boulders to your left. The small hole you’ve uncovered leads to Sub-Area 6. You know you’re right if you’re inside a cave with a black background and lots of ropes leading down. Just keep going down until you find another small hole, and leave through there.
Go right. The map kinda looks like a drab, ruined version of the town from Brad’s childhood.
The inside layout of these houses can be a little confusing. First, there’s a foyer, and from here, you can also see the upper floor. In the foyer, there’s another door, which leads to the main room. The main room has two staircases; one that leads to the upper floor, and one that leads into the basement. And then upper floors also often have large holes in the wall that you can leave through to get outside.
First house you come across can’t be entered through the door.
Second house has a Cigarette in the foyer. In the basement, there are some bloodied notes hanging on the wall, but you can’t read them. In the upper floor, there’s a hole that leads outside. Go through that hole, and then go left. From here, you can enter the first house’s upper floor through another such hole. In the foyer of that house, there is Horse Jerky. In the basement, there’s a Creep with its eyes shut. It won’t attack–for now. Pick up the Lab Coat that’s hanging on the wall behind it; apart from the Fur Coat (Beastborn’s armor), this is the best shirt in the game (best armor for Terry, Ajeet, Jack, etc).
The Creep will wake up, and it will attack your party. This is the first of many Creeps you will fight in this sub-area–they’re pretty weak. They give you 555 EXP, which is pretty sweet, but no mags.
Exit the house and go right. You will have to enter the third house through a hole on ground level, which leads you to the foyer. There’s nothing much inside here. In the basement, there’s a note you can read. On the upper floor, there’s another Creep to fight.
Leave, and enter the fourth house through the door. Nothing inside this house but another Creep.
Fifth house also has to be entered through the door. In the main room, there is one Horse Jerky. In the basement, there’s a boss to fight, albeit a relatively easy boss. It’s the Doctor. Surprisingly enough, this beast doesn’t have any perma-kill moves. Has a lot of HP, and can do a lot of damage, when he attacks. Is resistant to many status condition, but not to Poison, Burn, or Bleeding, so just use one (or several) of these on him and watch him die. Will give you 6000 EXP, which means a level up in most cases, and will drop one Joy. You may now also read the note behind it.
Go to the upper floor, and leave through the hole in the wall. Up here, go left, until you arrive at the third house, where you can now enter the upper upper floor. Inside, there’s a special Creep who drops one Locket. This accessory increases Def by 4, Agi by 2, and Luck by 30, which is pretty sweet.
And that’s the abandoned town. Leave the house, and go right. At the very right of the screen, there’s a Joy mask lying around, and there’s a door, which leads you to the lab (you may only enter if you’re playing in Pain Mode). There’s a couple Creeps inside, and not much else. Just keep going right. There’s a room with a couple creatures inside large glass tubes, and it says something different for each one when you interact with them.
After that room, there’s a room with a whole bunch of Creeps inside. Next is the final room of the lab, which has a corpse and a note you can read.
That’s it for Sub-Area 6. Just the Dismal Island to go before we begin the long, grueling journey to Area 3.

Walkthrough, Part 16; Dismal Island, path to Area 3

This area seems like a bad joke at first, but you will eventually fight a really tough boss here, who has a good chance of using a perma-kill move. So only come here with a party you feel confident in. To be specific, a party you feel confident can quickly deal 15,000 points of damage. That might seem like a lot, but keep in mind that you have four people on your team. If each deals around 1,000 damage each turn, that’s 4,000 damage each turn. That should be good enough to ensure you won’t lose anyone here. Definitely do rest before going to the Dismal Island.
So once you’re ready, head down to Shardy. Use the Dismal Map you’ve bought from Sub-Area 7 (Karate Village) near Shardy.
Once you’ve arrived on Dismal Island, there’s a savepoint crow just a bit to the right. And there’s a black rope right next to it, which turns out to actually be a man’s mustache once you’ve climbed up. After you’ve done that, enter the house on the right. Talk to the man, and say yes. Jump off the cliff for 500 fall damage. Go back up, back inside the house, and talk to the man again. Put on the dress, head outside, talk to the other guy. Enter “Sexy Boy.”
Doing that might actually be a little tricky–you might have to slightly change your key bindings for this. Pressing Insert or Escape should erase characters, but for some reason, that may not work. If you have that problem, bring up the Key Bindings menu by pressing F1. Each command can have up to four different keys bound to it. We’re looking for the Cancel command. Change any one of the four fields to the right of Cancel to one of the letter keys, like X. Click on Accept. You should now be able to erase characters by pressing X.
By the way, Sexy Boy is your new name, boy.
Head back inside, and talk to the man again. Drink toxic garbage. Go out the door, go left, talk to the giant face. Go back the way you came, and talk to the man again. He will attack your party; his name is Slave Lord Jim[lisa-rpg.wikia.com].
This guy is pretty annoying. He can take a lot of damage, he will do some damage on you, and he will Poison your guys. Shouldn’t be any problem, though. You will get 6000 EXP from the fight, and he drops 9 mags and Martlo Bow, which is the best bow in the game.
After the fight, you may change your name back, or keep it. This is permanent, so think a moment about this before you proceed. If you do change your name, you can change it to anything that is four characters or less.
Go outside. And there’s Jonathan[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], the real boss of Dismal Island. As I’ve said before: good chance of using perma-kill move, 15,000 HP. It’s also worth mentioning that he has an Agi of 99. Has a 50% resistance to Paralysis, Sleep, Stun, and Scared. Tripping him over should work fine, however.
You actually do not have to fight Jonathan. You can simply go down the rope, and go back to Shardy to leave Dismal Island.
However, if you do fight him, and if you emerge victorious, you will gain 6666 EXP, 9 mags, and Crimson Tide, a decent automatic weapon (Harvey, Fly, Ollie). I’d say it’s worth fighting him just for the experience points.
You’ve bested Dismal Island. Congratulations.

Aka Sub-Area 4. To get to Area 3, blow away the boulders blocking the doorway next to the hardhat-wearing dude. Just go through the cave; there’s nothing here but two NPCs to talk to.
Outside, the land is green, and there are many yellow W signs erected in honor of Wally’s. There’s like a village here, but there’s no shop or anything like that. In the house at the very right of this screen, there is one Cigarette.
Proceed to the next screen, and watch a wondrous miracle unfold underneath your very eyes. Then, head right, and fight Employee Mark and Employee Chris. They can do some good damage, but they don’t put up much of a fight. You will gain 600 EXP, 13 mags, and they might drop some healing items.
Climb up the mountain. A couple times, you will come across a Deer, which will always attack you. It probably won’t ever survive long enough to attack, will give you 100 EXP, and nothing else.
After the first deer, you may find one Fancy Perfume if you climb up the rope and fall down the ledge to the left. To avoid taking fall damage, get off the bike, drop down to the lower ledge, then get on the bike again, and drop down again. Trust me, there’s a logic to this.
Once you’ve fought three Deers, it’s only a little bit further up ahead where you will fight Lil’ Nuggie[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], a boss-like enemy with a small chance of using a perma-kill move. He has the same status resistances as Jonathan; Tripping Lil’ Nuggie should work fine. Has a resistance to Fire damage, though making him Oiled should negate that. Much easier than Jonathan. Gives you 1000 EXP, might drop some healing items.
Proceed to the next screen on the right. There’s a Gang Poster here and a savepoint crow.
Go up, and return to the left screen. Keep climbing the mountain. There’s only one more Deer to fight on this screen.
Go up, and you have finally arrived outside the Wally’s restaurant. Climb up onto the mattress and then up onto the side building and then up onto the main building. There’s a Lucky Feather (+6 S.Atk, +3 Luck) hidden behind the Wally’s sign.
On the screen to the right, there’s a fireplace, where you may rest. There’s just a cliff to fall off from on the next screen right from here.
So return to the Wally’s, and head inside. First room has nothing. Once you enter the second room, a cutscene will happen, and you will fight Wally[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. He has three forms, and he’s a little tougher than Nuggie was, but he’s much less likely to use a perma-kill move. In fact, he can only use a perma-kill move once he’s brought to his third form (when his brain matter is exposed), and the chances of him using it are very, very low. In all three forms, he is completely immune against being Tripped, and he is always immune or resistant against Stunned. Paralyzing him is a very effective strategy, however. Also, he has an Agi of 99. Gives you 1000 EXP and nothing else.
Wally might cause some of your characters to become Depressed. Don’t worry–it can either pass away in combat, or you can remove it by resting.
Continue to the next screen through the door, bringing you to a generic-looking cave. There is a savepoint mancrow here, which works just like a savepoint crow.
Proceed to the next screen, which is some kind of creepy flesh cavern. In here, there’s lots of spiders running around, which are called Marty when you fight them. Can be pretty annoying, as they do have a good amount of HP, but you should be able to kill them before they get a chance to attack. Might Poison you otherwise. Give 53 EXP.
There are quite a lot of them here, and it’s alright if you choose to avoid some of them. You barely miss out on any EXP–not much longer, and you’ll have access to some extremely good EXP grinding.
On the lowest level of this screen, there’s a Lucky Feather (Geese’s accesory). Is pretty good, although it’s no Locket. Increases S.Atk a bit.
A bit further up, to the right, there’s an Old Sock.

Walkthrough, Part 17

And just a little bit further up is the exit, which will lead you outside. Climb up the rope, and talk to the rock. It is actually a secret stash in disguise, giving you 10 mags.
Go right. Watch the cutscene. Interact with the mask to pick up Buddy’s Mask. Enter the cave, watch cutscene. Before you leave again through the exit on the left, explore the cave by going through the small hole in the wall to the right.
In this cave, you’ll come across a bizarre NPC who’ll inexplicably know Brad’s name. It doesn’t matter what you choose (he won’t take your mags). At the very bottom of the cave, just two steps right from the doorway, you can pick up Buddy’s Poncho. You may equip it, but it’s pretty bad. The doorway itself is blocked (presumably, this is the blocked doorway from Area 2).
Return to the top of the cave and leave. Right as you enter the outside again, your party will be knocked out. A cutscene happens, and Buzzo forces you to overdose on Joy pills. There is one positive side to this: From this point on, Brad will be able to stay Joyed much longer in battle (like other characters do).
You’re in a creepy drug hallucination thing now. Go right, go up the ropes, and face Sticky in combat. You’re alone, but it’s virtually impossible to lose this fight.
You’ll wake up, and there’ll be two new NPCs to talk to left of here. One of them says something about the blockade (the screen right from the main screen of Area 2). Use your Truck Keys to return to Area 2, and then go to the right screen. As I wrote earlier, there’s two guys blocking your path, wanting to buy some TNT for 100 mags. If you give them the TNT, they will kill all of the NPCs in Sub-Area 7 (Karate Village). I guess you might as well do that now, but you can also choose to pass them by going over the ledges above them. To return to Area 2, you will need to use your Truck Keys.
So now that you’re here, you’ll see the aftermath of the war between Buzzo’s and Rando’s armies. On the ground, you can pick up a Football Helmet, which is the best hat in the game, and from the corpse at the right cliff, you can pick up a Rando Poncho, which is the second best poncho in the game.
Go up the rope, watch the cutscene. At this point, if you have chosen to sacrifice Terry earlier, you will now face Terrible Terry, Lord of Hurt. Aka Former Friend[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. He has a good chance of using Neck Break, a perma-kill move, but he only has 10,000 HP, low defenses. Is resistant to Paralysis and Sleep, but can be Tripped. Gives you 6,000 EXP, 1 mag, and Diary Entries.
After beating him (or if you didn’t sacrifice Terry at all), you will fight Tom Cream, Sergei Rage, and Larry Sports. They can do some decent damage on your team, but they die pretty quick. They’re all immune to being Tripped. The fight will give you 4000 EXP, and they will drop 24 mags.
After that’s done, enter the cave. Go through the cave, bringing you to a dream/flashback thingy. Go right, interact with the coffin, then return the way you came. You’ll be on the outside now. Just right of here, if you’re playing on Pain Mode, you will encounter a gun-wielding man (Tex Diablo), who will attack your party. He’s pretty easy. Gives 2000 EXP and drops 1 mag.
To the right is the EWC, Eternal Wrestling Congregation. There’s actually a lot of content in this part of the game, but we will skip all that for now–just trust me on this one. In fact, you might want to read ahead on the details of the next two decisions you get to make in this game (they’re pretty brutal).
But before we do go on to Area 3, there’s a savepoint crow here at the EWC, and you can rest at the first house. But to be able to rest there, you first have to join the EWC; to do so, enter the house on the right, and talk to the guy. You will be facing off against Wonder Wizard, who will later go on to become your archrival at the EWC. You have to lose this fight; you can either have your HP drop to 0, but it’s much faster to just Escape from the fight.
After that’s done, you may now rest at the house on the left, for free, whenever you want, without any risks. That is pretty excellent.
One more thing before we continue: On the screen to the right of the EWC, there’s a village. At the top, there’s a shop, where you can buy some of the best equipment in the game. Depending on what choice you plan to make for the next two decisions that are coming up, you might want to spend all your mags to buy armor for your characters (and don’t forget to have them equip it).
Also, there’s a bar tent to the right, where you can buy some restorative items, and there’s a Gang Poster.
Now, we are ready to complete the journey to Area 3. On the EWC screen, enter the doorway on the very right, which leads you to a shadowy tunnel (although this one doesn’t have Shadowy Figures). Nothing in here but a small hole in the wall, which leads you outside to purple mountains. Just below, there is another savepoint crow.
Go right, and you’ll come across a half-dead Sticky. Also, Rick appears. You now have the choice to either kill the two of them or to let them live (this is not one of the big decisions I talked about earlier). If you choose to kill them, they will simply die, and you will get nothing out of it. If you choose to let them live, you also don’t really get anything; however, much later in the game, you will fight Sticky again. He isn’t very difficult, can’t perma-kill, drops some stuff, but at that point in the game, it doesn’t matter anymore. So choose however you like.
Proceed. Mid-way through the next screen, you’ll get ambushed by Buzzo’s men. And now we’re getting the first of the two big decisions before Area 3: All three companions you have with you die permanently, or one of Buddy’s nipples gets cut off. You may try to fight Buzzo, or not–it doesn’t matter.
The latter choice actually doesn’t matter in the story, really. Buddy is a tough girl, I guess. Still a pretty messed up choice to make.
If you choose the latter, you gain a Nipple.
You can equip it as an accessory.
Proceed to the next screen, and there he is again: Buzzo. Good news is that Buddy got away. But now you will get to make the second decision: one of Brad’s arms, or all the items you have (that aren’t currently equipped on your characters). The latter choice appears to be bugged; it will unequip all of Brad’s stuff, but it doesn’t seem to take away any of your weapons or armor (and also none of your Key Items). Meaning you will definitely keep all your equipment.
You can also try to ask Buzzo why he is doing this. Do not. It will cause Buzzo to cut off your arm and take all your items.
If Brad still has two arms, I’d definitely go with the first choice. One-armed Brad isn’t so bad. No-armed Brad, however, is much worse; you can actually still do all your skills, but you can’t do dial combos any more. That means Brad can only do his skills by directly choosing them in the skill menu. That alone heavily reduces Brad’s damage output; and losing another arm also decreases his stats heavily.
Because of the fact that Buzzo will only take away your healing items and mags, that might actually be the preferable choice in either case.
(In the case that you give away all your items to Buzzo and have not yet cleared all the boulders back in Area 2, you may go back to the construction site and pick up extra TNT.)
Once you’ve made your decision, proceed to the next screen. You have now arrived at Area 3 (sort-of). Talk to Tardy. There’s a shop above, selling some healing items.
Now, go back to the EWC. We’re gonna level up our new band of heroes, get back our mags, and/or turn Brad into the strongest armless man there is.

Walkthrough, Part 18; EWC

Going back and forth from the EWC to Area 3 is a bit annoying, as you will always have to go on foot. And there’s an awful many cliffs you can fall to your death from on the way, so watch your step.
Once you’ve returned to the EWC, let’s explore the village to the right here. Actually, there isn’t much here. If you still have empty bottles, there’s a fireplace where you can fill them with soup. To the very right lies the entrance to the Devil’s Machine, but you can’t go there without the Keys. And there’s Sonny, who will later join your party.
So return to the EWC, and talk to the manager again. First, we’re gonna do Tag Team to win our first belt(s), and to recruit the mighty Shocklord. If you ask the Manager to explain, he’ll give you a little background on Shocklord’s character, who will be aiding you in the Tag Team Championship.
Most of these wrestling fights are pretty easy. It’s not even really worth listing all of the opponents. None of them seem to be resistant against being Tripped, so Brad’s Head Slide moves are almost always the best choice.
After beating the first four enemy teams, you’ll face off against the last opponents of the Tag Team Championship: Atlanta Gunn, Jim Corncob, and Oat Holiday (yup, three opponents at once). They can all be Tripped. You should be able to beat the whole Tag Team Championship without havin to rest, just by spamming your strongest Head Slide move. If an opponent does manage to get a hit on Brad (you might even get Poisoned), just go rest at the house on the left.
Once you’ve done that, Shocklord joins your party.

——–
Shocklord[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Sports Entertainer
Without a doubt, the strongest companion in the game.
——–
Okay, let’s really get into this character for real now.
Fun fact: The game files list his move under the name “Cheeks Gaywood.” On the other hand, in his bio from the LISA Art Collection, his name is “Otto Shipman.” I’m not sure if anyone knows who’s really behind Shocklord’s mask.
Alright, alright. I kinda like Shocklord personally. I dunno what to say. You already know what he’s capable of. He has one move, and he can’t do anything else. If you haven’t noticed, Big Shock! also costs 20 SP every time you use it; if Shocklord runs out of SP, he can only Guard and use items. If you’ve given all your items to Buzzo, it can be a little tough to keep Shocklord’s SP high.
Starts at Level 18, so that’s definitely pretty sweet. Has the highest HP in the game out of any companion. Comes with Sparkly Mask and Denim Jeans.
——–

Also, you will gain two Tag Team Title Belts, which are pretty good accessories. Increase Atk a little, and Def and S.Atk by a lot. Decrease Agi, though. Makes a lot of sense to have someone who uses S.Atk for their moves equip it (Geese, Nern, Jack, etc.).
In total, you will also gain 66 mags and one empty bottle from the Tag Team Championship.
Now, there are two things left to do at the EWC. Dystopian Rumble lets your whole party fight a random team of four wrestlers from the other two championships. This is a very efficient way of grinding: Each fights gets you 2000 EXP, and an amount of mags between 0 and 35. There’s no title to win here, and you can do this as often as you like–until you’ve won the Eternal Title Belt.
You should probably keep grinding here until everyone in your party has learned their strongest move (check monday’s companion guide).
Only title left to grab is for Eternal Championship, where Brad faces off against a single opponent, alone. These guys also all can be Tripped, so Head Slide is your best choice, again.
The fourth match here is a little special: You will get knocked out (but you win the fight anyway). Brad’s HP will be at 1 afterwards, so you should rest before continuing.
The sixth match is pretty difficult. You will be facing two opponents, one after the other, without an opportunity to rest in-between. You should definitely rest before this match, and you might also want to buy some healing items from the vendor at Area 3. Keep in mind that it is game over if you lose here.
After that match, you’re ready to take on the champion: Death Queen. The manager will tell you to lose–and it is alright to lose in this match, as you won’t die. However, losing doesn’t get you anything. You can keep coming back to the manager and fight Death Queen again and again, as long as you lose each time.
Or you can beat Death Queen, in which case you will gain 4000 EXP and the Eternal Title Belt, which is just like the Tag Team Belt, but better. However, you won’t be able to compete in any of the divisions any more, so you won’t be able to grind Dystopian Rumbles any longer (you can still rest at the house on the left, though).
If you have Brad wear the Eternal Title Belt while talking to Sonny in the cave at the very right of the village, he will join your party.

——–
Sonny[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Schizo-Wrestler
TP-based. Can do decent single-target damage, and can also cause various status condition while he’s at it. Can Paralyze, Stun, Scare, and cause Crying. Chances are pretty low, though: Bear Hug (starts off with) only has a 60% chance of causing Paralyzed.
Biggest drawback is probably the fact that you won’t be able to grind Dystopian Rumble with him. He starts off at Level 19, though.
Has abnormally high HP, second only to Shocklord. His Def is also pretty high, but he can’t wear any armor.
——–

That’s it for the EWC. Later on, you’ll also be able to enter the Devil’s Machine, once you’ve found the keys.

Walkthrough, Part 19; Area 3 starts here

Now, onto Area 3, which is so hard and cruel, it’ll make everything you’ve gone through till now look like a walk in the park.
Now, if you just want to get this over with as quick as possible, you only need to visit four out of the eight sub-areas of Area 3. You have to get four different parts to construct the boat, with which you can get to the final part of the game. To get them, you will need to go to Sub-Area 2, Sub-Area 3, Sub-Area 4, and Sub-Area 5.
But let’s actually number those sub-areas, first. Again, the numbers are identical to the ones found in monday’s LISA tour guide. The first small hole you come across leads to Sub-Area 1. The doorway next to the Gang Poster leads to Sub-Area 2. The doorway above (to the right of the vendor) leads to Sub-Area 3. Right from here, the upper doorway leads to Sub-Area 4, while the lower doorway leads to Sub-Area 5. The small hole left and below from here leads to Sub-Area 6. The doorway below leads to Sub-Area 7.
Yeah, it’s a little bit strange, but let’s just go with that.
On the screen right from here, you can talk to Tardy again. He’ll just repeat what he said earlier. This is where you have to go, later, when you have all the parts.
There’s also a secret on this screen. From the lower right doorway (doorway, not small hole), just go left. Fall off the cliff to another screen for 500 fall damage. Enter the cave through the small hole. Go up the first rope and pick up the Horse Jerky to the left. Go up a couple more ropes, talk to the guy. Touch the cat, and talk to him again. He will reward your defiance with one Cat Paw, an accessory that increases Agi. To the right, there’s a small hole which will lead you back to Area 3.
Let’s go to Sub-Area 1, then.

Enter Sub-Area 6 through the small hole in the wall above the savepoint crow (there’s a doorway just left of here). It just leads to a screen with a fireplace to rest at, though I would rather always go back to the EWC for resting (or rest in Area 2); in Area 3, a random event might happen when you rest, permanently killing one of your companions (the second companion in your party, to be exact).
On the screen to the right, there’s [b3 ]Joy [/b]we can pick up. The blonde-haired monstrosity next to the Joy won’t attack.
And we’ve already cleared our first sub-area of Area 3.

Enter Sub-Area 1 through the small hole at the very left. Sub-Area 1 is just a series of corridors with monstrosities in the background, most of which you can neither fight or interact with. In the very last room, there is one monstrosity you can interact with, but it doesn’t attack. There’s a Resort Map behind him.

Use the Truck Keys to return to Area 2. Head down to Shardy and use the Resort Map we’ve just found. Shardy will bring you to Resort Island. It actually looks kinda nice, lots of sand (or is that skin?) underneath an orange sky. Just a little bit right is a Cocola Cola.
A bit further right is the actual resort. Enter. It’s a pretty big building with lots of rooms, many of which have strange monstrosities inside that will be familiar to those who’ve played the first Lisa game. None of them attack; they just make a strange noise when you try to interact with them.
There’s a secret room at the end if you pull a series of hidden levers. There’ll always be a sound when you pulled one of them, and there’s at least one lever on each floor, except for the first floor (entrance hall). First lever is on the second floor, first room on the right, second tile from the right. Second lever is on the third floor, first room on the right, first tile from the left. Third lever is also on the third floor, first room on the left, second tile from the left. To access the fourth floor, jump up the cupboard in the second room from the left. Fourth lever is on the fourth floor, first room on the left, fourth tile from the right. On this room, there’s also a door-sized hole that will lead you to a secret lab; there’s a monstrosity here, which won’t let you pass, unless you’ve been to every room in the resort and talked to the inhabitants. But there’s nothing much in the room behind it, anyway–just a whole bunch of monstrosities and a giant statue of a trumpet.
Fifth floor only has one room. If you’ve pulled all the hidden levers, there will be a small hole at the very right of this room, which leads to a warehouse-looking steel room. There are several items to pick up at the bottom of this room: Dandy Boy (best automatic weapon in the game), Snubby (best handgun in the game), 3 Joy, and a Silk Poncho (best poncho in the game). The monstrosity in the background won’t attack you.
As Terry would say, “Sick drops.”
Return to Shardy, return to Area 2, use Truck Keys to return to Area 3.
Now, it’s gonna get difficult for real.

Enter Sub-Area 7 through the doorway below the bridge. It will bring you to a gray and blue cave.
Climb down the ropes. The doorway at the lower right corner of the screen brings you to a sunny field with some motorcycle dudes standing around.
This is where your companion will be brought if he gets “kidnapped” in Area 3; however, once you arrive to save your companion, one of the motorcycle dudes will have turned into a giant monstrosity (Rex Thunderstorm[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]), killing everybody else (including your kidnapped companion). If you come here, you get to fight him; he’s a pretty tough fight, with a good chance of using Neck Break, a perma-kill move (how about losing even more companions while we’re at it?). Has 14,000 HP and low defenses, 1 Agi, immune to Paralysis, immune to being Tripped, 50% resistant against being Stunned. If you do choose to fight Rex Thunderstorm, you gain 8000 EXP from the fight and the Motorbike Helmet, which is arguably the best mask in the game (Rage, Shocklord, etc).
But since–hopefully–that didn’t happen yet, let’s go left first. There’s a doorway that leads to a sunny mountain village with some seriously mellow background track.
The first house from the top has a Cocola Cola inside. The house underneath to the left has Horse Jerky inside, but you have to take 50 fall damage to get there. To the right is Crisp Ladaddy, the worst companion in the game. We may get to recruit him later, whatever. Below is a bar, where you can buy some drinks. Outside the bar, there’s a Gang Poster, and a bit to the left is a savepoint crow. You should save here–there’s a really tough part up ahead.
The house on the left is actually a tunnel that leads you to another sunny field. Go left, and a cutscene will happen. It’s the last time we face off against our childhood bully, Columbo. Once you get on the motorcycle, a race will start.
You can’t really “win” the race, because your motorcycle will run out of gas right at the end, and there is no boat, anyway. But if you arrive there before Columbo does, he will give you Hyper Hair-Gro, the best headgear Brad can wear. If you screw up during the race, you can restart by jumping into the water, unless Columbo has already arrived at the finish line. In that case, the Hyper Hair-Gro is gone forever. But since we saved just now, we can just reload that save.
There are ramps and rocks hidden in the grass. Best tactic is to only hold Enter when you’re approaching a cliff.
In either case, Columbo gets one final cutscene. After that, the hole to the right will instantly bring you back to the hole you couldn’t access back in the blue and gray cave. But you can also just use the Truck Keys to instantly return to the main screen of Area 3, because we are done with this sub-area.

Walkthrough, Part 20

Now with all the optional sub-areas out of the way, let’s start building that boat. First, we’re going to Sub-Area 4: Ice Bowl. Enter through the uppermost door on Area 3. It leads to a generic-looking cave, but the screen is tinted dark blue.
A little bit below is Treats Neaty, telling us about some secret loot in this cave. Which you can find by going down two ropes from Treats Neaty, and then just going left. Pick up Glasses, a unique accessory that makes it impossible for the wearer to be Cool, but increases hit chances. Seems to work nicely, although the effect isn’t strong enough to really improve moves that have a really low hit chance.
Keep going down. Once you’ve reached the bottom of the cave, just a bit to the right, you will come across Herb[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] (Pain Mode only), the scariest enemy yet. This guy has a high chance of using Fatal Chomp, a perma-kill move. Immune to being Paralyzed, Scared, or Tripped, 50% resistant to Stunned. 17,000 HP, low defenses. Prepare to give this guy all you have–don’t forget about the Joy we’ve found in the last couple areas. Gives you 7000 EXP and drops 2 Joy.
Leave through the doorway on the right, leading you to a snowy field. There are various hazards here: First off, guys wearing football helmets with dynamite strapped to their heads will slide towards you and explode. If you’re anywhere near them, or above them, you will take damage. You should be able to avoid all of them if you just react fast enough and always instantly go left when one of them comes at you.
After the football bombers, you will come across snowmen shooting at you. For some of them, it’s possible to avoid taking damage pre-fight if you just never stop moving forward, while others will always land a shot on you. Thankfully, it doesn’t do too much damage. When you get close enough to them, you will engage in combat with them (they are always called Armed Snowman at first, although at some point, their true identity becomes revealed). These Snowmen do some ridiculous damage on their attacks, most likely killing one of your characters with each attack; however, you should be able to kill them before they get a chance to attack. There are three of them you will come across, they all give you 300 EXP, drop either 3 or 7 mags, and have a chance to drop some good restorative items.
At the lower right corner of the screen, there’s a small hole, which brings you to a small cave. Similar to the hanged girl back in Area 1, the boy in this cave will disappear if you leave and re-enter the cave (if you haven’t noticed: It’s Dusty from one of the flashbacks. Remember?).
Climb up the mountain. After beating the third Snowman, there’s a savepoint crow, and just a little bit higher and to the right, a cutscene will happen. After that’s done, you will fight Butch Irons, Iroquois Planter, Buffalo Van ♥♥♥♥, Walker O’Brian, and Redd Dillinger. All of them except for Buffalo will fall over pretty quick, and they can all be Tripped. Not a scary or dangerous fight at all.
In most cases, you won’t get anything from this fight at all, because Buffalo will stop the fight once he’s under a certain percentage of his HP. However, if you do manage to kill Buffalo by doing a ton of damage to him (skipping the threshold that would trigger him to stop the fight), you will get 6,200 EXP from this fight.
Also, Buffalo then joins your party.

———-
Buffalo[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Sportsman
TP-based. His basic attack (Tackle) has a 40% chance to Trip the enemy, which is pretty nice. Has a whole bunch of flashy moves, which all basically do damage to a single enemy. Only two of them can also do something else, and he only learns these moves at Level 25. Although he does already start at Level 20, which is nice.
Some of his moves actually use S.Atk: All his Rush moves, and also Patriot Exploder (Level 25). Patriot Exploder also does a lot of damage and has a guaranteed chance to Burn the target (does not do Fire damage, though), but costs 40 TP, which sucks very much.
Lumberjack Tackle (Level 25) is his other move that can do something else; it has a 60% chance to Trip the enemy. This move seems to blow big time–the chance to Trip is abnormally low, especially when compared to moves of other characters, and the move costs 30 TP.
Has good defensive stats, but doesn’t seem that great all in all. Maybe use him if somebody dies, I guess.
———-

Buffalo also brings his Toolbox, the first of the four items you need to build the boat. If that’s all you want, we’re done with his sub-area. You might want to read ahead on the boss you fight on the next screen here, and the rewards you get for fighting that boss. Decide for yourself if you really want to risk it.
So, on the next screen, while climbing the mountain, at one point, a monstrosity called Peter [lisa-rpg.wikia.com]will jump down onto the ground in front of you. You may still flee.
On the other hand, if you’ve beaten all the other perma-kill guys with ease so far, you should also be able to handle Peter. High chance of using a perma-kill move, 15,000 HP, low defenses, 1 Agi, immune to Paralysis, Scared, Sleep, and Tripped, resistant to Stun. He’s very similar to Herb from before, but with less HP. You get 6000 EXP and three Joy from him.
Above, there’s a pile of pale bodies, and there’s a Flaming Man running around, one of the few enemies in the game who’s weak to Water damage. Although you should be able to instantly kill him without Water damage, anyway. Gives 1000 EXP.
If you drop down the cliff to the left, you will get 500 fall damage, and on the ledge here, you can pick up The Homer, which is the strongest club in the game (Mad Dog, Queen, etc).
But that’s not all! If you proceed on left from here, back to the screen with Buffalo’s gang on it, you will find another water pump.
Whether or not you’ve decided to kill Peter and get The Homer, use your Truck Keys to return to the main screen of Area 3.

Walkthrough, Part 21

Up next is Sub-Area 2, the bathhouse (or Public Bath, I guess). Here, we will find an item that will allow us to recruit the last companion in the game.
Enter Sub-Area 2 through the leftmost doorway in Area 3 (just up and right from the hole leading to Sub-Area 1). Before we enter the actual bathhouse, we’ll be in a dark cave. To the right, Spoony “Sidewalk” Vee[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] blocks our path. We will need to fight him to gain access to the bathhouse. He has a good chance of using a perma-kill move, has only 10,000 HP, but very high defenses, is 50% resistant to most status conditions, and has an Agi of 32 (which should be lower than any of your Agi values). He also already has a major weakness to Fire; Fire elemental damage will deal 300% damage on him. Should fall quickly enough if you take advantage of his Fire weakness. Gives you 4000 EXP and drops three Rando Rations and 9 mags.
The actual bathhouse has a very confusing lay-out, and there are many things to be found within. First and foremost, more of these annoying Marty spiders.
Instead of writing all of this out in text, I figured a map is the best way to lead you through this place. On the map below, each letter (A, B, C, etc.) is a door; it leads to the other door of that same letter (A leads to A). “Entr” is the entrance (where you start off). To make navigation easier, there’s also a background description for each room with more than one door (each room has its own, unique background). Below the map are descriptions of the things you can find in this sub-area (“Beady”, “Tsunami gang”, etc).
————–
A–Entr–B—-background: high waves on yellow background
————–
A–Beady, Keys
————–
——C—-B—-background: low waves on yellow background
————–
D—-C—-E—-background: high waves on red background
————–
D–Toby
————–
——F—-E—-background: crab on yellow background
————–
H—-F—-G—-background: birds on blue background
————–
G–Devil’s Pads
————–
H—-I———-background: birds and bamboo on blue background
————–
J—-I—–L—-background: bamboo on yellow background
————–
J–Tsunami Gang–K
————–
K–Large Fan (Part for the boat)
————–
—–M—-L—-background: flag
————–
M–Horse Sir

Beady[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]: Monstrosity that you have to fight (if you want to get its drops and the Keys behind it). Very high chance of using a perma-kill move, 20,000 HP, low defenses, 1 Agi, same resistances as Herb and Peter, so don’t even try Paralyzing Beady. Gives 7000 EXP and drops 2 Joy.
Keys: Can be used to access the Devil’s Machine right from the EWC.
Devil’s Pads: Second best shoulderpads in the game (Mad Dog, Buffalo, etc). Can be sold for 333 mags.
Tsunami Gang: A whole gang of guys you have to fight at once in order to get the next part to build the boat. Consists of Herman Masatoshi, Ned Tanaka, Huey Fujiwara, Han Tsunami, Yo Hosei, Ernie Shozo, and Marco Hitoshi. None of them can be Burned, Han Tsunami can be Paralyzed, all are 50% resistant against Water damage, all are weak against Fire damage. Everyone except for Han Tsunami can be Tripped. Shouldn’t be too tough; focus on Han Tsunami last, as he has the most HP by far. This fight gets you 6000 EXP, 50 mags, one Ninja Scarf (second best shawl in the game), and a couple healing items.
Large Fan: The second part you need to build the boat. You just have to beat the Tsunami Gang to get here first.
Horse Sir: ???
Toby: Can be brought back to Crisp Ladaddy in Sub-Area 7 (sunny village). When talking to Crisp, you get three options: Ransom Toby so Crisp joins your party, give Toby to Crisp for 900 mags, or just give Toby to Crisp for free. Well, 900 mags sure would be nice, but Crisp doesn’t actually have any mags, so if you choose the second option, Crisp is just gonna join you instead (exactly like the first option), which is pretty damn stupid. Third option gets you nothing at all.
Alternatively, you can sell Toby at any merchant for 150 mags, which is a really good deal.

——–
Crisp[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], Swordsman
Pretty bad. Starts at Level 19, but still one of the worst companions in the game in my opinion. Once Terry has reached Level 19, he’s become way more useful than Crisp ever will.
His basic attack costs 10 SP each time he uses it, and his SP pool is so small, it’s pathetic. His basic attack does have a chance to cause Bleeding, but it doesn’t really matter. He only has three moves, which he all knows when he joins you. Let’s go through them all.
Hot Cutter: Crisp’s one and only good move. Has a guaranteed chance to cause Burning, and a good chance of causing Bleeding, too, which is unique. Does decent damage and is Fire elemental. Costs 30 SP, which will quickly drain Crisp’s SP pool away. Uses S.Atk. This move is Crisp’s saving grace, and it does make him a viable addition to your team, despite my previous rantings. It’s just that, what do you do with this guy once your enemy is Burning and Bleeding? Certainly not use these other two moves.
Wet Cutter: Does the exact same damage as Hot Cutter, except Water elemental, and removes Burning. Also costs 30 SP. This move isn’t just useless, it’s counterproductive.
Million Cutter: The absolute worst. Hits four times, but only has a 50% hit chance on each hit, which is really awful. Costs 40 SP.
Comes with Ninja Scarf and Karate Belt, though.
Or you can just sell Toby for 150 mags.
——–

Once you have all you need from the bathhouse and you’ve had the opportunity to chat with Horse Sir, return to the main screen of Area 3 (Truck Keys, wink wink).

Sub-Area 3 is also called the Blood Forest, but don’t worry: This one is pretty easy. In fact, the boss here can even be Paralyzed!
Enter Sub-Area 3 by going through the doorway to the right of the vendor. You’ll be in a dark cave, and right at the entrance, there’s Treats Neaty again, informing us of hidden treasure.
Four ropes down from Neaty and right leads you to another dojo. Everything you need to do is pass the gauntlet. Just keep going right… at the end, you will gain a scroll, which increases every stat by 5. Return to the cave.
Five ropes down from the dojo and right leads you to Grandma’s Shawl (best shawl) and Grandpa’s Shirt (tied for best shirt with Lab Coat).
All the way down the cave, to the right, there’s a small hole which will lead you to the Blood Forest. On the way up the mountain, you may encounter Blood Coyote, Blood Hawk, Blood Bull, and Blood Mountain. They’re all very similar; they’re all resistant against most status conditions, can do some good damage, but shouldn’t put up too much of a fight. Give 500 EXP each and drop between 6 and 15 mags, with a chance for healing items. Upon death, they will all say something cryptic that may or may not have something to do with the story.
Three of these four Blood guys can be skipped; whenever there’s an upper and lower path to move on, there’s one of the Blood guys hiding on either the upper or lower path. The first Blood guy is on the upper path, the second Blood guy can’t be skipped, the third Blood guy is on the lower path, the fourth Blood guy is on the upper path.

Walkthrough, Part 22

Near the top of the mountain, there’s a savepoint crow. And on top of the mountain awaits Bloodiest Wolf[lisa-rpg.wikia.com], the boss of this sub-area. This guy may use a perma-kill move, but it is very, very unlikely. Can take a lot of damage, and is immune to normal Poison (not to Deep Poison, however) and immune to being Tripped. As said before, he is not resistant towards being Paralyzed, so that’s the best strategy against this guy. He has a lot of HP and high Def, but he shouldn’t be a problem. Gives 6000 EXP and nothing else.
Once he’s dead, chop down the tree behind him. You now have Blood Wood, the third part you need to make a boat.
Truck Keys.

Next is the toughest sub-area of Area 3: Seesaw Valley.
Enter Sub-Area 5 through the doorway to the right of the doorway leading to Sub-Area 3, and below the doorway leading to Sub-Area 4 (Ice Bowl). You know you’re right if you’re in a dark cave with some grass growing out of the ground. Go left, through the small hole (which might be a little hard to see), through another small hole, and then through another doorway.
Welcome to Seesaw Valley. Just continue on right until you find an empty bottle. If you keep going right, you’ll find a man sitting on a seesaw, a common sight in Seesaw Valley.
Return to the wooden scaffolds. Go up all the ropes, go right, over the man’s flattop hair, and continue on right. A bit further right, there’s a guy looking away from you. Don’t talk to him–if you do, he will explode, reducing your entire party to 1 HP.
Keep going right. Dismount from your bike, and jump onto the seesaw for 100 fall damage. Go right, up the rope, and enter the building. Just go through the rooms until there’s a broken window; jump out of the window. You’ll fall onto the other seesaw. Enter the building again; there’s another broken window now, but you have to fight Perry Prichard to get there. Pretty easy fight. Gives 2000 EXP and drops 1 mag, with a chance for healing items.
Outside the window is a savepoint crow. Proceed to the next screen on the right. Here, you will find a crane with a wrecking ball suspended above (of course) a seesaw. When you interact with the crane, you get to choose from three different power levels (1, 2, 3). After you’ve selected any one of them, you get a couple seconds to get down and onto the other side of the seesaw before the wrecking ball gets released. Right from the seesaw, you can see three ledges of varying heights–I’m sure you get the idea how this puzzle works.
Use power level 1 to get to the first ledge. Here, you can access a weapon vendor by going down the rope. This vendor has several of the best weapons in the game: Queen Bands are the best wristbands, Decent Boomerang is the best boomerang, Combat Knife is the best knife, Mighty Spear is the best spear. It’s also worth mentioning that the Nail Bat has a chance to cause Bleeding on the enemy on hit.
Use power level 2 to get to the second ledge. There is one Horse Jerky here.
Use power level 3 to get to the third ledge. Go right, using the upper path. You can fill some empty bottles with soup at the fireplace. Go right, dismount from your bike, and drop down onto the seesaw for 100 fall damage. This will set a chain of events in motion that will ultimately propel you across the gap onto the ledge to the right.
Go right. There’s an empty bottle to pick up at the lowest level of the wooden scaffolds. There’s another empty bottle two ropes above. From this empty bottle, you just have to go right to proceed in the game. However, if you wish to see the finale of the Salvation Rangers saga, climb up to the top of the wooden scaffolds.
Go left. The red ranger won’t attack you. The blue ranger, however, will. Now, his name is simply Blue[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. He has a chance to use a perma-kill move, but it’s rather unlikely. He does do a lot of damage with his attacks, but even that won’t happen too often. Can’t be Paralyzed, can’t be Tripped, can’t be Scared, 50% resistance to Stunned. Has only 10,000 HP and low defenses, so shouldn’t be a problem. Gives 5000 EXP and drops two Joy. You may now also pick up the Black Helmet behind it, which is a very decent mask-class headgear.
A bit to the right is a savepoint crow (you shouldn’t use this one before the Blue fight; there’s a much tougher fight right up ahead). If you’ve already used every other savepoint crow in the game, this is the last one you get. Continue on right.
Now, this place is a bit strange; there are two different bosses you can fight here. If you’re playing on Normal Mode, you’ll encounter Hawk Hollywood[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] (human-looking guy), and if you’re playing on Pain Mode you’ll encounter Hawk[lisa-rpg.wikia.com] (monstrosity) instead.
Hawk Hollywood has a good chance of using a perma-kill move, although it’s much lower than most of the other bosses you’ve encountered so far. Hawk Hollywood is notorious for the fact that he can inflict Super Cool on himself, regenerating a lot of HP each turn in combat. He can be afflicted by all the poison effects, though (Poison, Deep Poison, Burn, Bleed), so that might be a good counter against him. Immune to being Tripped or Stunned, but not resistant to Paralysis at all. Water elemental damage does 200% damage against him. Now, Hawk Hollywood has an extremely high S.Def, but most S.Atk moves in the game actually don’t take the enemy’s S.Def into account (instead using the enemy’s Def for damage calculation), including Harvey’s and Crisp’s Water moves, so this fight might be their big moment to shine. Or you can just Paralyze Hawk Hollywood and burst his HP down with your usual set-up. 19,000 HP, 200 Agi. Gives 4000 EXP, drops 8 mags and the USA Flag, which is the best shoulderpads-class armor in the game (sadly, unavailable in Pain Mode).
Hawk has a much higher chance of using a perma-kill move, being among the most likely enemies to do so. Unlike Hawk Hollywood, Hawk is immune to being Paralyzed and getting Tripped. Also can’t get Scared and is 50% resistant towards Stunned. He has no weakness against Water or anything else for that matter. 20,000 HP, low defenses, 1 Agi. Gives 7000 EXP, drops 21 mags and two Joy.
On the screen behind Hawk Hollywood/Hawk is the Mint Cloth, the fourth and final piece you need to build the boat. You may now proceed to the ending of the game.

Walkthrough, Part 23; Devil’s Machine, The End

You could just go on to the ending of the game now, but don’t you feel confident in your party? Don’t you want to test them in a fight against a ridiculously powerful hidden boss? Well maybe you should pay a visit to the Devil’s Machine, then.
To enter the Devil’s Machine, you need the Keys from Sub-Area 2 (bathhouse).
Once you have them, return to the EWC. Don’t forget to rest here. Then, go to the village on the right. On the very right of the village, talk to the man blocking the path; tell him you feel sure about entering the Devil’s Machine. He’ll let you pass.
Enter the screen on the right, and make your way down the bloodied mountain. You can make the descent without taking any fall damage. Once you’re on ground level, go right. The Devil’s Machine beckons you. Enter it by interacting with the truck’s cargo doors (you have to stand on the space to the right of the truck).
There’s nothing much inside but some mush and Satan[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. Talk to him, and the fight will begin. Satan is immune to Paralysis, getting Tripped, Bleeding, Poison, Deep Poison, etc. Let me just tell you what will work on him: Burning him and getting him Pissed. He also only has a 50% resistance towards getting Stunned and Scared, so these two might work, too. Satan also has 80,000 HP, but low defenses, and only 10 Agi.
Oh, and, of course, Satan has his own, unique perma-kill move, Decapitate, which he will use quite often.
If you beat him, anyone who’s still alive on your party will get 10,000 EXP, and you will gain Mike’s Belt Buckle, which, like its wearer, is ridiculously powerful. It boosts all stats except for Luck and Agi by a ton, and it has no drawbacks.

Only one final fight left in the game (outside of the ending), and it’s pretty easy. On the screen to the right of Area 3, you will have to face Sticky–unless you have already killed him on the path to Area 3. In that case, you’re done with the game, pretty much.
If you do fight Sticky, you get 2000 EXP and 45 mags from the fight. There’s really nothing else to say about the fight.
Once you get on the boat, it’s pretty much smooth sailing from here on out. You leave your companions behind, and at some point, Brad’s class will change, giving him a new set of moves. Burning Head Slide is effective against groups of enemies. Charging Headbutt is effective against the final boss.
Just pick up all the bottles along the way. You get to turn them all into Diesel Firebombs. There’s also a large amount of Rando Rations you can pick up.
At one point, there’s one final savepoint crow (after the point of no return).
There’s a whole bunch of post-credits stuff, so do stick around.
If you’ve gone through the entire game without giving Brad Joy, you’ll get an extra cutscene. However, you also get an extra cutscene from beating the game in Pain Mode, and it appears that the Pain Mode cutscene overrides the Joyless cutscene, meaning you can’t get the Joyless cutscene in Pain Mode. You’ll have to look it up on Youtube (search for “lisa joyless ending”; ManlyBadassHero has a good video of it).

EXTRA: Lisa: The First

So now that you’ve beat Lisa: The Painful RPG, you might be wondering, “Why was Brad so pissed about his dad? He was an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the prologue, but dude. Also, who the heck is Lisa?”

Well, that, among some other things, get explained in Lisa: The First[rpgmaker.net], a free RPG that Dingaling (the single guy behind Lisa: The Painful) made way back when.

However, Lisa: The First probably isn’t quite what you expect. It is very different from Lisa: The Painful. There is no combat, there are no characters to recruit, it doesn’t even have Brad in it or the post-apocalyptic setting of Lisa: The Painful. It is however just as disturbing and weird as Lisa: The Painful, and it is definitely relevant plot-wise. You gotta play it to get the whole picture. Thankfully, the game is very short if you know where you need to go.

I was actually planning to write a walkthrough for the game, as I myself had to rely on information I found on old *chan threads and videos on Youtube when I played the game. However, somebody already made a walkthrough, and it’s right here on the Lisa wiki[lisa-rpg.wikia.com]. It’s even got pictures and everything, so it’s much better than the text walkthrough I had in mind.

EXTRA: Lisa: The Joyful

So Dingaling did it again and took us for another ride in beautiful Olathe. This time, you play as a little girl, barely get any companions, and you need to defeat the strongest men of Olathe. Also, you have extremely limited supplies.

The Joyful is much shorter and much more straightforward than the Painful, but there are a number of secrets to be found and the game is tough as nails. So here’s some tips to stay alive:

And that’s already the best tip I can give you. Unlike the Painful, the DLC does not reward you for beating the game without using Joy. Without giving too much away, it does not matter whether you take Joy or not.
So we already know from the Painful that Joy increases your damage output manifold. But wait, there’s more! In the Joyful, taking Joy also restores all of your HP, which comes in handy against the many hard-hitting bosses you will encounter. Healing items are very limited in the game; Joy, on the other hand, is not. If you don’t waste it on the easier enemies, you should always have a surplus of about ~20 Joy.
Is it possible to beat the game without using Joy? Yes. However, it will require you to get extremely good RNG at the bosses, and to always land those precision strikes. It will take you hours to beat the harder bosses in the DLC. Taking Joy makes it so much easier, and still, the bosses are very difficult.
Another upside of Joy is that it makes the precision strikes much slower, making them easier to land. As you go in and out of Joy, it can be hard to learn the timing for the precision strikes, but you should be able to land them most of the time while on Joy.

So apart from the precision strikes that you must always get right no matter what, you eventually also get the ability to Fluster an opponent for 10 TP. It stuns the enemy, stopping it from doing anything, and it will usually work on most human enemies and on some of the bosses, too. However, it only lasts for 1-3 turns, and if you don’t already have a bunch of TP before using it, you will only be able to Stab (basic attack) your opponent while he is Flustered. And that is just so weak in comparison to the precision strikes.
However, it is smart practice to use healing items while the opponent is Flustered.
There are also a lot of fire bombs you can find hidden in the game. Just keep your eyes open and try every wall in the caves.
Also, don’t buy any Perfumes or Cocola Cans. You won’t need them. You should instead use all the money you have to buy healing items (Jerky).

A lot of the NPCs will treat you differently depending on whether or not you’re wearing a mask (e.g. friendly NPCs attacking you if you don’t wear one). You can get a lot of extra EXP and items by fighting those otherwise-benevolent NPCs. However, you should never forget to wear your mask when you talk to the shop owners, for obvious reasons.

Warning! There are some mild spoilers below.
Similar to the Painful, the DLC has a lot of different endings. There are two segments that vary based on your playthrough: there’s a pan-over shot revealing the fate of Buddy & friends, and there’s a post-credits sequence. The first has two variations, while the latter has three variations (which are independent from each other).
For the first scene (the pan-over), it depends on your choice at the end of the game (Join them or Leave them).
For the post-credits scene, it gets much more complicated than that. For that, I refer you to The Miami Mutilator’s Joyful Achievement Guide. It’s got all the secrets in it you will need to get those endings. The achievements in particular that correspond to the three different post-credits scenes are Yado, Lisa, and Father.