Overview
Presents a step-by-step guide to completing the game with maximum points and all achivements.
Introduction
This guide will take you through the process of completing the game with all 50,000 points and all 40 achievements.
Unfortunately, you can’t actually do everything in just one playthrough – you can only get 37 achievements in a maximum score run. So, you need to complete the game twice: once for maximum points, and once for the missing achievements. This guide will cover both of those playthroughs.
Instructions that only apply to the maximum points run are listed in bold.
Instructions that only apply to the missing achievements are listed in italics.
All other instructions are required to complete the game. In other words: when you’re doing the maximum points run, ignore everything in italics. When you’re doing the missing achievements run, ignore everything in bold.
Some instructions in the maximum point run will kill you – this is required for one of the achievements, and these will be marked.
One achievement (Yankmaster) requires a lot of luck and will most likely take several hours to complete. You may wish to do this one at a different time.
You can do the two runs in whatever order you wish, just follow the appropriate instructions throughout the game.
I will list achievements when you receive them, as well as the expected score at this point for a maximum score run. This score is a running total; it will not match up during your second run.
Special thanks to Shogs for his achievement guide, SadoMaso-Sensei for his points guide. Also thanks to Beny and leisureX for their contributions to the previously mentioned points guide.
- Whenever someone complains about your breath, you should use the breath spray on yourself. This awards 100 points.
- Don’t rush through the game – take your time and look around! There are hotspots just about everywhere, and there’s often a joke hidden.
Age Verification
The age verification can be skipped with CTRL-ALT-X, but if you want to do it properly and just need a little help, here are all of the questions and their respective answers.
The list below contains all the questions, and all the valid answers for that question (some questions have multiple valid answers). Everything is copied verbatim from the game data (yes, the question about the G-spot really has two “c” answers in the English translation).
Finish this song lyric: “If there’s something strange in the neighborhood, who ya gonna call?”
c. “Ghostbusters!”
Which of these slowly crushes its prey in viselike tightening coils?
d. A boa constrictor
What religion is the guy on the Quaker Oats box?
a. Quaker
Which was NOT a Bart Simpson catchphrase?
a. You shall not pass!
Whose first marriage lasted 55 hours?
c. Britney Spears
Who created the Lumberjack Song and the Dead Parrot Sketch?
b. Monty Python’s Flying Circus
Which was one of President George W. Bush’s nicknames?
a. Dubya
Who first said, “I pity the fool!”?
d. Mr. T on “The A-Team”
Which of these is a bestselling diet plan?
a. The Atkins Diet
What shape is the Bermuda Triangle?
d. Triangular
Where are your priorities?
a. Well, first is getting past this quiz…
b. None of your business!
c. You sound like my father.
d. I know, right?
Finish this common phrase: “Is the Pope…”
a. …Catholic?
The name of the hit song is, “Stand By Your…”
a. Man
Where is the G-spot?
a. I don’t know, but finding it is half the fun!
b. It’s up and front of that thing there
c. The what now?
c. Right above the F-sharp
Who made the question “Wassup?” famous?
c. Two guys in a beer commercial
What do Fox Mulder and Dana Scully do?
c. Investigate supernatural crimes
What Q&A board game comes in a “Genus Edition,” a “Baby Boomer Edition,” and many more?
a. “Trivial Pursuit”
Ren and Stimpy are…
b. …a cartoon chiuahaha and cat.
“Do you smell what the Rock is…”
d. “Cooking?”
What’s “Soylent Green” made from?
c. PEOPLE! IT’S PEOPLE!
“Calvin and Hobbes” is about a boy and…
a. his search for meaning
b. his stuffed tiger
c. his rich, sometimes violent fantasy life
d. his need to urinate on the windows of pick-up trucks
What is Jurassic Park full of?
c. Cloned dinosaurs
d. Plot holes
What was the most important invention of the 20th century?
a. The Internet
b. Viagra
c. Indoor Skydiving
d. Adventure games
Who’s hosted Saturday Night Live the most?
a. Alec Baldwin
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
a. That’s two questions.
b. Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality.
c. No, and yes.
d. Can I get a different question?
Which half of Penn and Teller is the one that speaks?
a. Penn
b. Teller, but not with words
c. Neither. One is silent, and the other one shouts.
d. All of the above
Which is the best answer to the question, “Does this make me look fat?”
a. “You mean more than usual?”
b. “Not if I squint.”
c. “Only around the edges.”
d. It’s a trick question. There is no good answer!
Who gave the “I Have a Dream” Speech?
b. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Where is the Mariana Trench?
b. In the Pacific Ocean
c. Wouldn’t a kid be MORE likely to know this answer?
d. b and c
Ironically, what DON’T they sell at Popeye’s chicken and biscuits chain?
d. Spinach
Which of these requires a battery?
b. A tamagotchi
What is the sound of one hand clapping?
a. Kind of a soft “clop clop” sound
b. Kind of a weak “fap fap” sound
c. Kind of a soundless sound
d. There is no right answer! Those tricky Zen masters!
Komodo Dragons are…
b. Real
Whose decision helped determine the outcome of the 2000 US Presidential Election?
c. The Supreme Court of the USA
Roberta Williams designed what?
a. Computer games
Who wrote “War and Peace”?
d. Leo Tolstoy
Who’s “smarter than the average bear”?
b. Cartoon character Yogi Bear
d. The average pig
Which of these games came first?
c. Pong
Which one of these was a popular dance?
a. “The Macarena”
Which one of these is NOT a desert?
d. The Durian
“CompuServe” was…
b. An online service
Tornadoes seem magnetically drawn to…
b. Trailer parks
What was going to cause the world’s computers to malfunction?
a. Y2K
Who said, “I ate his kidney with some fava beans and a nice Chianti”?
d. Dr. Hannibal Lecter in “The Silence of the Lambs”
Steve Fossett was the first person to…
a. Travel around the entire world in a balloon
“Not that there’s anything wrong with that!” was popularized on the TV show…
c. “Seinfeld”
Minoxidil is used to treat…
b. Baldness
Which is a popular Klingon battle cry?
d. “It is a good day to die!”
Which one is usually worn with a tuxedo?
d. Cummerbund
Which one have millions of drunks worshipped as the “porcelain goddess”?
b. The toilet bowl
d. Still pretty sure it’s b., the toilet bowl
Part 1: Welcome to Lost Wages
Throughout this run, do NOT let the dog pee on you – don’t stand still for too long outside.
Throughout this run, ONLY call for a taxi when this guide tells you to – otherwise, you’ll miss out on an achievement.
Wait for the dog to show up and pee on your leg. [Achievement: Urine Luck!] Look at the four stars in the sidewalk. Exit the screen on the left and get beat up by the mugger. [Death, Achievement: Mugger Mayhem] Try to cross the road. [Death, Achievement: Road Rash]
Enter the bar. Look at the plaque next to the door on the left. [Score: 100] Look at, then talk to, the four Kickstarter backers at the bar (the guy on the left and the three guys on the right).
Take a seat at the bar. Wait for Ken Williams (the guy in the blue suit) to tell 16 punchlines. [Score: 500] Talk to Lefty’s and order a glass of whiskey [Score: 600].
Play all 9 songs on the jukebox. [Score: 1600] Enter the door on the left, take the rose [Score: 1700] and give the whiskey to the guy sitting on the floor. [Score: 1900]
Enter the bathroom on the right. Use the zipper with the toilet [Score: 2000]. Use the hand with the toilet. [Score: 2100] Flush the toilet. [Death, Achievement: Swirlie Swan Song]
Grab the ring from the sink [Score: 2200], and turn on the hot water (the left tap) to get the password [Score: 2400].
Go back to the bar. Now would be a good time to earn some money, so go play the slot machine. Note: The odds are against you – save your game before spinning, then load if you lose. Never bet all of your money; if you go broke, you will be unable to get all achievements, even with reloading.
Keep playing until you have at least $500 at least $900.
In one of your playthroughs: Keep playing $1 bets until you hit 3 bar symbols. [Achievement: Yankmaster] Consider doing this one outside of the normal playthroughs and using some macroing software to click the spin button for you, since this will almost surely take hours to complete – look here for the numbers[gaming.stackexchange.com]. Don’t bother reloading unless you are about to go bankrupt.
Sit down at the bar and buy ten beers [Achievement: Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another?], then buy a round (select the option twice) [Score: 2600]
Knock on the door on the right. Use the password to enter the room [Score: 2900] and grab the remote [Score: 3000].
Open your inventory and flip the coaster over with the hand icon, then look at it [Score: 3100]. Use the coaster on the locker to the right and take the vibrator from the locker [Score: 3300].
Part 2: Good Vibrations
This entire section only applies to the maximum score playthrough. If you’re doing the run for missing achievements, go to the next section.
Now we need to go on a bit of a detour and use the vibrator on a bunch of people, 35 people to be exact.
Start by using the vibrator on Larry and the pimp. (2/35)
Exit the room and use the vibrator on Lefty’s and all 6 people sitting at the bar (9/35), then go through the left door and use it on the drunk (10/35).
Go outside and hail a taxi by using the hand icon. [Score: 3400] Go to the Weddin’ Ready and use the vibrator on the cabbie while he’s waiting to get paid (11/35), then pay him.
Walk over to the flasher [Score: 3500] and use the vibrator on him (12/35), then talk to him 3 times [Score: 3550]. While you’re here, look at the trash in the gutter [Score: 3650], and look at all the stars on the sidewalk. Walk left, and look at all the stars here as well, then enter the casino. Use the vibrator on the 6 people in this room (18/35) and go in the back of the room towards the elevator. Grab the disco pass from the ashtray [Score: 3850] and use the hand on the elevators to go to the seventh floor and grab the coveralls from the plants in front of the elevator [Score: 4050], then go up to the eighth floor and use the vibrator on the woman (Faith) (19/35).
Take the elevator back down to the first floor, go in the cabaret room on the right; leave and re-enter until the scene has either a drummer and a comedian or a singer performing. Use the vibrator on the drummer, the comedian, and the singer (22/35), then sit down on the single chair near the front of the screen [Score: 4100], and wait until the singer has performed [Score: 4300] and the comedian has done his entire routine [Score: 4800, Achievement: Is That All There is?]. You’ll hear the singer perform a couple of times before this happens.
Leave the room. By this point, someone should have commented on your bad breath. Use the breath spray on yourself when this happens [Score: 4900]. Go outside and walk back and forth between the casino and the wedding chapel until a guy in a barrel comes on screen. Use the vibrator on him (23/35), then give him the coveralls [Score: 5400, Achievement: Credit Watcher Extraordinaire]. Go back inside and take the elevator to the second floor. Unlock the door with the key [Score: 5600] and use the vibrator on Jasmine, the woman inside (24/35).
Go all the way outside and hail a taxi to the Come ‘n Go. Grab the phone and ring 837-5309 [Score: 5800], 1-209-683-8989 [Score: 6000], 1-209-683-6858 [Achievement: The Old and The Hopeless], and 555-6969 [Score: 6100, Achievement: No Boundaries]. (Also call 867-5309 to hear the thing you were meant to hear for the first 200 points).
Go inside the convenience store and use the vibrator on the clerk. (25/35) Walk outside and answer the phone [Score: 6300], read all the stars, then go to the right. Use the vibrator on the bouncer (26/35), read all the stars [Score: 8400, Achievement: I Can Walk the Walk!] and walk between the club and the convenience store until you see a bum asking about wine. Use the vibrator on the bum (27/35), then go back to the bouncer.
Click the hand icon a couple of times on the bouncer [death], and then show him your disco pass and walk in [Score: 8700]. Use the vibrator on the guy on the left, the four women around him, the two dancers in the background, and finally the woman on the right (Fawn). [Achievement: Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On]
Done! Now go back to Lefty’s and get back in the pimp room.
Part 3: Love and Marriage
Open your inventory and use the hand icon on the vibrator until it gives up its batteries [Score: 8900], then use them on the remote control [Score: 9100]. Use the remote control 8 times on the TV [Score: 9700, Achievement: Cable Svengali].
Go upstairs and look at the hooker [Score: 9800], then grab the box of candy on her table [Score: 9900] and climb out the window on the right. Fall down the hole to your left [Score: 10000, Achievement: Tool Grabber]. When Larry climbs back out, use the hand twice on the garbage cans at the bottom of the screen [Score: 10200]. Go to the left and take a taxi to Caesar’s Phallus.
Walk back and forth between this screen and the screen on the right until a guy in a barrel shows up. Buy an apple from him.
Go inside the casino and walk to the elevators. Pick up the disco pass. Walk into the cabaret room on the right and pick up the helium bottle on the table; if there’s a show on, leave the casino and go back in or come back for it later. [Score: 10400] Walk back to the left, then go into the buffet room on the left and play the hidden object game. [Score: 10600, Achievement: That’ll Do, Pig]
Go back to the elevator. Use the elevator and go to the seventh floor. Pick up the coveralls from the plants in front of the elevator and use the hand icon on them in your inventory to find a key. Use the elevator to go to floors 3, 4, 5, 6 and 7, and knock on all the doors. [Score: 10800] Use the hot sauce on Larry [Score: 10900] Go to the second floor and use the key on the door. Talk to Jasmine inside [Score: 11000], exhausting all conversation options, and leave and re-enter the room. Get a squid from the basket [Score: 11200], use the hot sauce on the whale [Achievement: Not With My Whale, You Don’t!] and grab the ambergris that floats to the surface [Score: 11700].
Go outside and take a flower from the bush on the right [Score: 11900]. Walk between the casino and the wedding chapel to find the cat. Use the squid on it [Score: 12400, Achievement: Making Friends Everywhere You Go]. Take a taxi to the Come ‘n Go.
Look at the payphone [Score: 12500]. Go inside the store. Use the hand on the Angry Broads machine in the back [Achievement: You Love This Game!]. Grab a box of wine and a magazine, then ask about condoms by clicking the hand on the condom sign. [Score: 13100]. Leave without paying, then pay for your items [Achievement: Lubber Band] and exit. Locate the bum by walking back and forth between the convenience store and the club, and give him the box of wine. [Score: 13400, Achievement: Enabler of the Year]. Open your inventory and look at the magazine. [Score: 13500]
Walk right to the disco, show the pass to the bouncer and go inside. Speak with Fawn (the lone woman on the right) [Score: 13600], exhausting all conversation options, and give her the rose, the candy and the ring [Score: 14200]. Watch the dance [Score: 14400, Achievement: Unexpected Disco Stud], and use your wallet on her [Score: 14600].
Go outside and take a taxi to the Weddin’ Ready. Enter the chapel [Score: 14800] and use the wallet on the pastor (NOT on Fawn!) to get married. [Score: 15000, Achievement: We Would’ve Brought a Gift].
Go next door to the casino and take the elevator to the fourth floor. Knock on the door to the Honeymoon suite. [Score: 15100] Use the radio four times [Score: 15600], then go outside and take a taxi to the Come ‘n Go.
Grab the phone and call 555-8039 [Score: 15900], then take a taxi back to the casino. Go back to the Honeymoon suite and pour some wine for you and Fawn, then talk to her. [Score: 16000]
Use the pocket knife to free yourself [Score: 16300]. Use the smell/taste icon on yourself to chew over the bungee ropes [Achievement: Secret Agent Man]. Take the ropes from the bed [Score: 16500].
Part 4: Getting back in the saddle
Go outside and take a taxi to anywhere. Attempt to pay. Do this 2 times. [Death] Take a taxi somewhere one more time [Score: 17000], but this time, just exit the cab without paying [Death].
Play blackjack or the slots inside the casino until you have $60 about $250. Remember: You must never go broke, so always bet $1 less than what you have, and reload if you lose.
Go outside and take a taxi to Lefty’s. Go inside and buy a vodka. [Score: 17100] Go outside and try to ride a cab anywhere. [Death] Go back inside. Use the vodka on the hot sauce bottle [Score: 17300]. Go through the door on the right and up to the hooker’s room. (If you don’t see the password in your inventory, click and drag the areawith the items in the inventory screen.)
Click the hand on Larry twice to undress him. Have sex with the hooker. [Achievement: Nuclear Crotch] Put your clothes back on, climb out the window, and make your way back to the front door of Lefty’s [Death]. Go back to her and undress again, but after you undress, put on the condom [Achievements: Safe Citizen] and then have sex with her. [Achievement: Pretty (Gross) Woman]. Put your clothes back on and walk back outside. [Death, Achievement: Busted!] Use the hand on yourself to take off the condom [Score: 17700], then go back to the Come ‘n Go [Score: 17900] and buy another condom [Score: 18000]. Go back to Lefty’s and have sex with the hooker one more time, remembering to put on the condom after undressing and removing the condom before redressing. [Score: 18500].
Climb out the window. Use the hammer on the window in the bottom-right [Death]. Click one of the short bungee cords on the railing, use the hand to attach it to yourself and use the hammer on the window in the bottom-right [Death]. Repeat the process with the long bungee cord. [Death]. Combine the two short ropes [Score: 18700] and attach it to the railing, then to yourself by using the hand icon. Use the hammer on the window [Score: 19200, Achievement: Law and Order: Lost Wages]
Go back to the Casino. Use the ambergris, civet and jasmine flower on the hot sauce bottle. [Score: 20000, Achievement: Frontier Pharmacist] Go to Jasmine’s room on the second floor and give her the perfume. [Score: 20500] Go back inside and take the latex repair kit from the open locker. [Score: 20700] Take the elevator to the eighth floor.
Talk to Faith [Score: 20800]. Give the Spanish Fly to Faith [Score: 21000] and press the button on the right side of her desk. Enter the elevator [Score: 21200, Achievement: Law and Order: Lost Wages II]. Go to the left (behind the elevator) and open the closet door. [Score: 21400]. Open your inventory and use the helium bottle on the doll. [Score: 21600] Leave the bedroom. Lick the glass door on the right. [Score: 21800] Open it and try to blow up the doll using the helium bottle. [Death, Achievement: Is This Something To Be Proud of?] Go back inside. Use the latex repair kit on the blow up doll to fix it. [Score: 22500, Achievement: Handy to Have Around the House]
Go outside and take a taxi to the Come ‘n Go. Buy one last condom. [Score: 22600] Go next door to the disco, enter, and show the blow-up doll to the guy sitting with the ladies. [Score: 23100, Achievement: Hey, Is This Yours?] Head back to the casino and go inside the penthouse.
Open the glass door and go out on the balcony. Use the helium on the blow-up doll. [Score: 23900] Use the zipper twice on the doll [Score: 24400, Achievement: Something to Tell the Grandkids]. Exit the close-up. [Achievement: Defying Physics] [Achievement: Cheapskate Ladykiller]
Talk to Eve and exhaust all conversation options. [Score: 24500] Use the hand to take off your clothes and enter the hot tub. [Score: 25000] Repeatedly use the valve [Achievement: Yes! Yes! Yes!] Give Eve the apple. [Achievement: Oh. My. God.], [Score: 50000, Achievements: Order of the White Pants, Fiscally Responsible]
Congratulations, you completed Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards: Reloaded! Now go play it again for the last achievements…
Bonus: So what were those punch lines, anyway?
Ken Williams spouts off a bunch of punch lines while you’re sitting at the bar, but due to the way the game selects them, it’s quite likely that you won’t hear all of them.
In this section, I’ve collected all 15 punch lines used in the game. Have fun looking them up!
- …’cause Thursday’s your night in the barrel!
- …just think of the money he saved!
- …and there stood the pig and the cow!
- …dammit Liza, doncha know yer own reflection?
- …what’s the matter, Honey? Ain’t you got a vase?
- …You idiot! I said POSSE!!
- …nobody can eat THAT much ice cream!
- …no, not then, just now, when I went “Arrrrrrrggh!”
- …the Aristocrats!
- …everybody’s goin’ to Dallas!
- …that’s the problem, then! You’re letting in too much light!
- …and now he looks like Dennis Flath!
Note: Dennis Flath was the Technical Art Director on the game, so this one is probably an in-joke. I don’t know if this one is related to a “real” joke, but everything else has a proper dirty joke associated with it. - …no, no deer…tail too high, run too fast!
- …25 bucks, same as in town!
- …a lotta guys just leave her hanging in a tree somewhere!
Bonus: Achievement sharing texts
If you enable Twitter/Facebook integration, the game will post for you on Twitter whenever you earn points, or when you earn an achievement. (The same should happen for Facebook, but allegedly that doesn’t actually work.)
The achievement texts are different from the in-game ones, so I’ve compiled a list below.
Busted! – I just got busted for indecent exposure in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Cable Svengali – I just distracted the pimp in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Cheapskate Ladykiller – I just achieved the “Cheapskate Ladykiller” level in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded – for no good reason.
Credit Watcher Extraordinaire – I just discovered the secret credits screen in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Defying Physics – I just rode Olga in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Enabler of the Year – I just gave away some good wine in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded. Why?
Fiscally Responsible – I just finished Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded without once begging. (For money!)
Frontier Pharmacist – I just earned “Mixologist” level in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Handy to Have Around the House – I just repaired an inflatable woman in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Hey, Is This Yours? – I just gave Adam something he doesn’t seem to need in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
I Can Walk The Walk! – I just completed the Larrywood Walk of Shame in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Is That All There is? – I just listened to every damn joke the comedian knows in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded
Is This Something To Be Proud of? – I just died every which way in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Law and Order: Lost Wages – I just did a little breaking and entering in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded – but in a good way!
Law and Order: Lost Wages II – I just committed a felony in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Lubber Band – I just bought a condom at the Come ‘n’ Go in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Making Friends Everywhere You Go – I just used some discarded drug paraphernalia in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Mugger Mayhem – I just got mugged in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
No Boundaries – I just took the phone sex quiz in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Not With My Whale, You Don’t! – I just explored a blowhole in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Nuclear Crotch – I just had unprotected sex with the hooker in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Oh. My. God. – I just finished Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded!
Order of the White Pants – I just made it all the way through Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded without getting peed on once!
Pretty Gross Woman – I just lost my virginity in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Road Rash – I just walked into traffic in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Safe Citizen – I’m now wearing a condom in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Secret Agent Man – I just escaped from some bed tie-downs in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Something to Tell the Grandkids – Olga and I just had, uh, something in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Swirlie Swan Song – I just died a horrible death in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded. (I’m so proud.)
Thank You, Sir. May I Have Another? – I just got drunk as hell in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded. (No, I’m not driving!)
That’ll Do, Pig – I just made a pig of myself in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
The Old and The Hopeless – I just did something so weird in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded that I refuse to share it with you!
Tool Grabber – I just Dumpster-dived in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Unexpected Disco Stud – I just got down with Fawn in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Urine Luck! – I just got peed on in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
We Would’ve Brought a Gift – I’m on my way to the Honeymoon Suite in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded – and I’m not alone!
Whole Lotta Shakin’ Goin’ On – I just earned another weird accomplishment in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
Yankmaster – I just pulled a big one in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded. (A jackpot! What were you thinking?)
Yes! Yes! Yes! – I just revealed Eve in all her glory in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.
You Love This Game! – I just played “Angry Broads” in Leisure Suit Larry: Reloaded.