Overview
A complete list of all Postal 2 and Paradise Lost rankings in the order you unlock it if you or if you dont met the conditions.
Postal 2 – A Week in Paradise
- The first block (0-4 are difficulty rankings)
- Difficulty rankings are always given before any other.
- If you used cheats the game will not reward you with a difficulty rank.
- Difficulty rankings are always given before any other.
- It is not possible to trick the game…
- Example: You have 8 kills in total, 4 are done by fire and 4 are rifle headshots, the game will then jump to a Kill Rank instead.
- Postal 2, Apocalypse Weekend and A Week in Paradise ending screens can differ from each other depending on which game mode you started but they all share the same end rankings.
Order
Rank
Condition
0
Holy sh’t! We didn’t even think this was possible!
Beat the game on “Impossible” difficulty
1
POSTAL God
Beat the game on “POSTAL” difficulty
2
Survivor of Bad Circumstance
Beat the game on “They Hate Me” difficulty
3
Chaos-Braving POSTAL Freak
Beat the game on “Insane-O” difficulty
4
Card-Carrying NRA Member
Beat the game on “Heston World” difficulty
Bovine Prostate Inspector
Seems to be a bug since it only appears when playing AW and losing your sledgehammer in at least 5 Cow butt’s
It also will ignore all other non-difficulty rankings
It also will ignore all other non-difficulty rankings
5
Leatherface would be proud.
When more as half of your kills were done by chainsaw.
6
Limb-Hacking POSTAL Ghoul
When you hacked at least 100 limbs and have more hacked as kills in number.
7
Cop Killer
When 3/4 of your kills were cops.
8
Animal Killer
When you killed more animals as humans.
Zombie-Slaying Holy Warrior
When you killed more zombies as humans.
9
Head-Batting Major Leaguer
When more as half of your kills had their heads blown up/off by Baseball bat.
Head-Asploding Shotgun Ninja
When more as half of your kills had their heads blown up by shotgun.
Teen Sniper
When more as half of your kills are done by “Hunting Rifle” headshots.
Arsonist
When more as half of your kills are done with FIre.
10
Water Sports Enthusiast
When you urinate more in “gallons” as you made kills in numbers.
11
Congratulations, SATAN.
Having over 4000 kills.
12
Hitler would be proud.
Have at least 2001 kills.
13
Ex-Military Killing Machine
Have at least 1501 kills.
14
Society-Shunning Grade-A Psycho
Have at least 1001 kills.
15
Serial Killer on Steroids
Have at least 801 kills.
16
Prozac-Powered Gun Nut
Have at least 601 kills.
17
Office Drone Pushed Over the Edge
Have at least 301 kills.
18
Soccer Mom
Have at least 101 kills.
19
Wanna-be Gangsta
Have at least 51 kills.
20
Underachieving Thug
Have at least 6 kills.
21
Gun-shy Murderer
Have at least 1 kill.
22
Thank you for playing, JESUS.
Finish the game without killing anyhing.
23
Cat R*pist
If you used at least 81 cats as silencers (and did nothing else.)
- The Speed Runner rankings are an addition to the normal game ranks.
- Only shown when activating the game timer in the game settings.
- The single segment is an addition to the speed runner rank.
- Only shown when activating the game timer in the game settings.
Order
Rank
Condition
(Single-segment)
Beat the game in an speed run without loading a saved game.
0
(Have you considered running this game for SDA?)
Beat the game in under 00:30hrs
1
(Ultimate Speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 00:45hrs
2
(Super Speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 01:00hrs
3
(speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 01:50hrs
Postal 2 – Paradise Lost
- The first block (0-5 are difficulty rankings)
- Difficulty rankings are always given before any other.
- The Apocalypse Conqueror ranking is an exception and is given before Impossible but always after POSTAL God.
- If you used cheats the game will not reward you with a difficulty rank.
- Difficulty rankings are always given before any other.
- It is still not possible to trick the game…
- Example: You have 8 kills in total, 4 are done by fire and 4 are rifle headshots, the game will then jump to a Kill Rank instead.
- Urinate and Baseball Bat Rankings are not given in Paradise Lost.
Order
Rank
Condition
0
Holy sh’t! We didn’t even think this was possible!
Beat the game on “Impossible” difficulty
1
Apocalypse Conqueror
Killed all the Leaders instead of escaping.
2
POSTAL God
Beat the game on “POSTAL” difficulty
3
Survivor of Bad Circumstance
Beat the game on “They Hate Me” difficulty
4
Chaos-Braving POSTAL Freak
Beat the game on “Insane-O” difficulty
5
Gun Nut
Beat the game on “Heston World” difficulty
6
Meat-Grinding Badass Psycho
When more as half of your kills were done by chainsaw.
7
Limb-Hacking POSTAL Ghoul
When you hacked at least 100 limbs and have more hacked as kills in number.
8
Junktown Jerky Vendor
When your money spend is 15 Times higher as your kills in number.
9
Women’s Self-Defense Expert
When you kicked in more nuts as you have kills in numbers and have at least 50 nut kicks.
10
Billy the Kid
When 3/4 of your kills were Lawman.
11
Mutant-Hating Animal Murderer
When you killed more animals as humans.
Wasteland Purifier
When you killed more zombies as humans.
Head-Asploding Shotgun Ninja
When more as half of your kills had their heads blown up by shotgun.
Arizona Killer
When more as half of your kills are done by “Hunting Rifle” headshots.
Pyromaniac
When more as half of your kills are done with FIre.
Butcher Butcherer
When more as half of your kills are C*ck-Asia Employees.
Social Justice Warrior
When more as half of your kills are PU Game Dev’s
Destroyer of Daywalkers
When more as half of your kills are Gingers.
Crusher of the Robolution
When more as half of your kills are Robots.
Paladin of Steel
When more as half of your kills are Bandits.
Survivalist Slaughterer
When more as half of your kills are Survivalists.
12
Ranger #21
When 0.4 (shortly below the half) of your kills are done with the Revolver.
13
Congratulations, Little Boy!
Having over 4000 kills.
14
Fat Man would be proud.
Have at least 2001 kills.
15
Oppenheimer Groupie
Have at least 1501 kills.
16
Mister Burke’s Hire
Have at least 1001 kills.
17
Serial Killer on Buffout
Have at least 801 kills.
18
Mad as Max
Have at least 601 kills.
19
Trinity Man
Have at least 301 kills.
20
Tunnel Snake
Have at least 101 kills.
21
Wanna-be Bandit
Have at least 51 kills.
22
Vault Dweller Pushed Over The Edge
Have at least 6 kills.
23
Joe Fission
Have at least 1 kill.
24
Thank you for playing, GANDHI.
Finish the game without killing anyhing.
25
Wasteland Water Salesman
When you have Peed on all Snowman.
26
Cat R*pist
If you used at least 81 cats as silencers (and did nothing else.)
- The Speed Runner rankings are an addition to the normal game ranks.
- Only shown when activating the game timer in the game settings.
- The single segment is an addition to the speed runner rank.
- Only shown when activating the game timer in the game settings.
Order
Rank
Condition
(Single-segment)
Beat the game in an speed run without loading a saved game.
0
(Have you considered running this game for SDA?)
Beat the game in under 00:30hrs
1
(Ultimate Speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 00:45hrs
2
(Super Speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 01:00hrs
3
(speed Runner)
Beat the game in under 01:50hrs