Overview
Hello there, and welcome to this bosses guide! I’m honestly surprised I couldn’t find anything like this. Anyway, In this guide, I’m going to cover strategies and tricks for every boss in the game. And by boss, I mean any enemy that has the health bar displayed at the bottom of the screen. I’m going cover attacks, damage resistances, and pretty much anything I can think of to add. I also might give a few of them wierd names, because A.) I don’t know what their actually called, B.) It’s just what I called him from the moment I saw him, or C.) It’s a reference to something. Also, tell me if you can’t see some of the images, I’ve been having some problems with those. Now, let’s begin.
DISCLAIMER
So I’m updating this part here in 2020, and I have made this guide almost 6 years ago now. I am very embarrassed for my 13 year old self. However, it seems like this has helped a lot of people, and I’m honestly surprised by how this guide is kinda okay. I will keep this up, but disable comments so I now longer have to be reminded of my young childish hubris. Please feel free to laugh at the dumb jokes and cringy comments I made when I was young, I just don’t want to be reminder of them.
Big frickin War Tractor
Difficulty:1/10 He’s a joke.
This is how it works. I’m going to give an attack a name, and I will describe what he does Pre, during, and post-attack, and I will tell you the best way to avoid damage. After that, I’ll tell you the most effiecient attacking time and form of attack.
ATTACKS
Bombardment: Fires several bombs in the air that land and explode on the ground. Markers on the ground indicate where they will land. Just stay away from the red markers.
Unload: The main body is lifted up by a mechanical thingy, and two goblins hop out, the body coming back down afterwards. Just try to avoid the goblins, attack to get them away, then get back on attacking Jeffrey.
Charge: The main body shakes violently, and then bursts forward, damaging anything it touches. May perform at the same time as bombardment. Just get out of the way when it starts shaking.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Jeffrey’s easy to hit anytime, besides during his charge attack. While prepare to unload goblins, he’s especially vulnerable. Just reposition every time bombs come, so you won’t get hit. He takes quite a bit of damage to magic and physical attack, I can’t tell the difference.
Goblin King (Or, as the rest of the world calls it, Barbarian Boss)
Difficulty: 2/10 might be a challenge for new players, but if you have decent reflexes, he’s another joke. And unlike Jeffrey, he’s NOT a funny one.
ATTACKS
Punch: He raises his arm and swings it to hit you. Easy to see coming, just block it.
Shield Spikes: He takes his back shield, holds it in front of him, and the spikes extract then retract. Another easily blockable one.
Shield Slam: He takes his back shield, slams it to the ground, and uses forwards momentum to launch himself to the other side of the arena. As soon as you see him grab the shield, RUN TO THE SIDE. It’s quite harder to dodge then the others.
Belch of Flames: Obtains this attack at about half health. Takes a few swigs of his beer/soda/water/energy drink, (Hey, I’m throwing out ideas, okay?) and burps loudly, exhaling flame, which propel him backwards. He only uses the top or bottom half for this attack. Go one the sides he’s not using, and remember, the bottle he throws does explosion damage, too.
WHEN TO ATTACK
He’s incredibly vulnerable between attacks, and surprisingly a lot of time between. I think he’s slightly less resistant to magic, but don’t quote me on it.
Mother Fuzzy
Difficulty: 4/10 If you aren’t careful, you WILL get overrun.
ATTACKS
Half a second conception, labor, and birth combined: Gives birth to a fuzzy. About Half a second interval. Keep the fuzzies away when they are bothering you, and attack their mommy when they aren’t.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Vulnerable to magic.
CatFish
Difficulty: 4/10. Even if you don’t know what you’re doing, you still have a chance.
ATTACKS
Hairball:Sends a hairball at your ship, and will interupt the cannon attack if it hits (more on that later). Hit the hairball once to break it.
Punch: Lift it’s arm, then swings to punch. Blocking is most effective.
Dive Punch: Dives underwater, and the bear on his back, now in his hand, directs the cat where you are, and attempts to hit you. Keep moving around and it’s easy to dodge.
Dive Dash: Submerges halfway into water, trys to run into you. Easy to dodge, and you can make him crash into the ship to end the attack early, and do 10 damage.
WHEN TO ATTACK
After you destroy the hairball and block a few punches, a cannon will shoot at the catfish. KEEP THE CATFISH IN LINE WITH THE SHIP. Otherwise, it will miss. After the cannon hits, he will be stunned, and while he’s stunned you will do extra damage. Use mostly physical attacks.
Chief Bear
Difficulty: 5/10 Decently powerful magic and minions can easily overrun an unaware player.
ATTACKS
Whirlwind: Turns into a whirlwind for a short amount of time. Easy to predict where he is going.
Nothing else really special, just a bear with high health, a whirlwind, and minions.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Get the miinions off your back when they are annoying you, and attack the Cheif whenever you can. If he’s in his whirlwind, magic. Otherwise, physical.
Big Frickin Bat (Or Pipistrello)
Difficulty: 5.5/10. His minions will HARASS you.
ATTACKS
Lick: Attempts to lick you, easy to block.
Turd: Flies in the air and tries to poop on you for poison damage. Try to dodge it.
Flock: Sends a horde of bats to attack you. Don’t let them nibble on your head. If they do, spam x until you get a swing out and can escape. May also be used with other attacks.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Get him when he’s on the ground and your not being attack by bats. Magic is prefered.
Pip Groom/Prince
Difficulty 10/10 May get you in a juggle, dealing TONS of damage.
ATTACKS
Swordplay: Will use several swords techinques to hit you multiple times. Block and strike before he can, and hit him as many times as possible before he gets up.
Organ: After using swordplay for a while, he will get on his organ, and will fire BOMBS AT YOU. You can see the markers, so stay away from them. As the fight goes on, the bombs get harder to dodge.
Magic: Use in combonation with swordplay after he gets to low health. Uses dark spells to knock you down. Make common use of blocks.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Mostly physical damage, get him in a juggle before he can get you in one.
Fuzzy Monster
Difficulty 3/10 Two words. Spam. Arrows.
ATTACKS
Laser: Charges a laser over time to fricking own you. Damaging him resets the charge.
Theif: A theif hops onto the parade wagon to assault. Throw him off the carriage, then get back to shooting the Fuzzy.
WHEN TO ATTACK
All the time. Mostly arrows, maybe some projectile magic.
Cyclops
It’s too late for “sorry”, isn’t it?
Difficulty: 6/10 Can be hard to dodge without proper use of dive-attacks.
ATTACKS
Slashing Smash: Runs over to you, lift’s their blades, then smashes them in the ground. Dive attacks are incredibly useful in dodging.
Dagger Throw: Gets in line with you and throws blades from a distance. Stay away and the blades will become easy to dodge.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Attack with your sword when their blades are stuck in the ground. Only a few hits, though, because they’ll be out of the ground fast.
Baby Volcano
Difficulty: 4/10 Little Volcano, little threat.
ATTACKS
Fireball:Spews out of fireball. Markers on the ground show where it will land.
Fire demon: A fire demon comes to fight you.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Use your sandwiches to damage him, otherwise he can’t be hurt. Attack pretty much anytime.
Dragon & Sock Puppet
Difficulty: 7/10 Hard to hit and fairly hard to dodge.
ATTACKS
Flame:Breaths a large amount of fire in a designated area. Stay out of that area.
Rock Fall:His sock puppet hand grabs a rock and makes it bounce along the ramp. Get under it during it’s bounce.
Fire demon:Summons a fire demon. Used in combonation with other attacks.
WHEN TO ATTACK
There are a few ways to hit him
1.) Use the ramp, jump, and use regular projectile magic. Does little damage.
2.)Jump underneath him and barely hit his chin, lift yourself with attacks. High risk.
3.)Eat Sammich, jump, hit his hand, use it to boost yourself upward. Again, high risk area.
Philipee (or something like that)
Difficulty: 6.5/10 Can easily overrun you with multiple attacks.
ATTACKS
Spell Shock: Sends electrice spells across the arena with poles. Stay in between the spells. Destroy all three poles to disable the attack.
Floor Shock: A pole charges and sends an electric current through the floor. Jump when it’s charged. Destroy the pole.
Hand Twidle: Uses a giant hand to smack you. Hit it to drive it away. Destroy it to disable the attack.
Flame cannon:Uses a giant cannon to shoot a beam of flames at you. If look closely at the cannon, you can see a small fire ignite a bit before it fires. Stay on the side farther away from the cannon after it ignites, or the one it just bounced off of. Toggles with the other two cannons. Destroy the cannon to disable all three forms.
Ice cannon: Uses a giant cannon to shoot icicles at you. Get hit by one, impossible to dodge the others. Has travel time, set it off, get out of the way.Toggles with other two cannons. Destroy the cannon to disable all three forms.
Poison cannon: Uses a giant cannon to shoot a ball of poison at you, doing DoT (Damage over Time). Has travel time, set it off, get out of the way.Toggles with other two cannons. Destroy the cannon to disable all three forms.
Floor flames: Ends of the arena will set you on fire. Disable once all other attacks are.
WHEN TO ATTACK
You can only attack when an attack is currently active. Damage an attack, destroy it, once all are destroyed, he is beaten. Uses physical attacks.
Alien Craft
Difficulty: 1.5/10 Embarrasing.
ATTACKS
Drop off:Drops off an alien to attack you. It has one HP.
Drop on: Drops a large sandstone slab on top of you. When it disappears off the screen, start to move around.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Jump and get a combo going. Physical.
Corn Boss
Difficulty 5/10 Doesn’t do much damage, easy to dodge as well.
ATTACKS
Sink & Strike: Sinks into the ground and comes back up to attack. Keep moving and you will almost certainly dodge it.
Slap: Uses the leaf to smack you. Limited range, and can only go up so high.
Blady spin: Comes up on the right side of the field, and uses the leaves as blades as it goes toward the other side. Goes up until it reaches the middle, goes down after that. Know that, and it’s easy to dodge.
WHEN TO ATTACK
When it comes up, use physical attacks. Also, get the villagers to fight with you by standing next to them until the boss does it’s sink & strike. They won’t do much damage, but are good for distracting so you can get extra hits in. Also, every time you hit him, he drops a piece of popcorn, which heals 1 HP. Not much alone, but can really build up over time. Also, when his health is near empty, his attack speed will skyrocket. Wait for an opportunity to strike.
Medusa the Gorgon
Difficulty: 6.5/10 Hard to hit, sometimes hard to avoid attacks.
ATTACKS
Poison shot:A head-snake shoots a bolt of poison at you. Easy to dodge.
Snake dive: A snake quickly dips down to hit you. Changing direction and dive-attacks are your best friend.
Stone-cold stare: Releases a beam from the eyes, turning you to stone for a short time. Jump over the beam, or get close enough to medusa to go under it. Go fast though, or the snake bite might get you.
Snake toss:Tosses a snake from her hair and tosses them towards you.You can also hit it to make to go flying out of the way, and will do damage to medusa if it hits her.
WHEN TO ATTACK:Try to hit with ranged attacks, and if you are going with melee, use dive attacks to dodge the snake dive.
Ice King (Adventure time! Come on, grab your friends! We’ll go to very, distand lands!)
Difficulty: On an annoyance level, 9/10. On a difficulty level, more like 6/10. Annoying as HECK. May cause rage quit, hair tearing out, or other side effects.
ATTACKS
Insult:Teleports in, Laughs at you, Teleports out. Used frequently, and may cause you to say “WHO’S LAUGHING NOW?” or “WHAT’S SO FUNNY, HUH?” upon victory.
Ice Bowling:Teleports in, assuming an akward bowling stance, throws the invisible bowling ball, making a row of scattered ice pop out of the ground, then teleporting out. He takes up Upper or Lower section of the arena, occupy the one he isn’t, or jump so he can’t hit you. Or, standing still in that area, there is still a change you won’t get hit.
Ice Focus: Teleports in, focuses his ice magic for a short time, then making ice spike out of the ground in random patches of the battlefield, then teleporting out. You can see where the ice will come out, because the ground in that area will starting to appear like it’s cracking apart.
Icicle: Once at about half health, begins to teleport in, cast a spell, then teleport out. This spell will cause icicles to drop, following you everywhere. When his health get increadibly low, the rate of icicle drops are highly increased. Just keep moving and NEVER retrace your steps.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Use either magic or physical attacks whenever possible, and don’t lose your cool. Wait, did I just make a pun there? Oh, frick!
Pablo Picasso
Difficulty 8.5/10 Can easily get overrun, especially in the second part.
ATTACKS
Paint: Comes down the lift, paints a crappy drawing of something (normally an animal), And goes back up the lift, leaving you to fight it. Do damage to him while he is painting, and either run into it to make it disappear, even though you take damage, or destroy it with ranged attacks. With 2/3 health left, he paints 2 at a time, and with 1/3 health, he abandons the attack.
Mass Production of Art: Obtains when he has about 1/3 health left. Says something that sounds like “Soiled” and spawns in a painting that only walks forward, spawning quite a few at a time. Avoid the paintings, hit him when he is open.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Mostly physical, timing explained above.
Zombie Cyclops
Difficulty 7.5/10 Meh. I’ve got nothing.
ATTACKS
Swing: Swings his gigantic accordian coffin at you, and dang, that thing has range! Dodge vertically on the arena, not horizontal.
Fireball: Shoots lava balls at you from it’s eye. Jumping or diving away from the cyclops is effective.
Bounce: Releases the zombie of the pip groom/prince and bounces on the accordian to smash you in the ground while the zombie trys to run of to you and hit you. Run in circles around the arena, make sure you avoid both.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Use physical attacks pretty much any time he isn’t attacking.
Necromancer first part
Difficulty: 10/10 Too easy to get overrun
ATTACK
First part
Spawn:Spawns in enemies for you to fight. Only performed twice, and spawns pre-specified enemies. The necromancer is in the air during this part
WHEN TO ATTACK
First part: A combonation of magic and physical can be used against the enemies he spawns. Try to whistle them down one by one until it’s something managable. The second time he uses it, giant are spawned. Be wary!
Necromancer second part
This is something I am throwing together really fast so I’m not going to add a seperate screenshot now.
Difficulty: 3/10 Little attack power
ATTACKS
Swordplay: Uses a variety of sword techniques. Block and counter attacking are great together.
Magic: Uses his magic attacks. Fairly easy to dodge.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Use magic for ranged attacks, and for melee, start with a quick attack unless you want to be blocked.
Wizard, Phase 1
Difficulty 2.5/10 Easy to dodge and hit.
ATTACKS
Crash:Floats in the air, begins to spin in midair, and stop to point where it’s going to land, and strike down with high speed, staying in the ground for a few seconds. Stay away from where the crystal are pointing, or block.
WHEN TO ATTACK
When the crystals are stuck in the ground, use physical attacks.
Wizard, Phase 2
Difficulty 7/10 Hard to hit without getting hit.
ATTACKS
Splash: Changes his protective bubble to red and begins using splash magic. Stay out of his line of fire at all times.
Projectile: Changes his protective bubble to blue and begins using projectile magic. Get out of the way when you ssee it coming.
WHEN TO ATTACK
When his protective bubble is blue, you can only hit him with magic. When it is red, you can only you physical.
Wizard, Phase 3
Difficulty: 2.5/10 Easy to hit and dodge
ATTACKS
Spell:Drop electric spells on the floor. Easy to dodge, give you enough time.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Anytime, preferably physical. Jump and start swinging, use the shadows to judge where to jump.
Wizard, the phase the trolled thousands
Difficulty 10/10 Hard to hit, dodge, and does quite a bit of damage!
ATTACKS
Larva: Spawns a cultist minion. Up to two at a time. They have insane resistance to magic.
Nit-Pickling (As suggested in comments): Uses small claws to attack directly underneath itself. Don’t go directly under neath it.
Falcon Jab (As suggested in comments):Swings a large claw to hit you. Blockable, do that preferably.
WHEN TO ATTACK
Whenever possible, get the minions of your back if needed, Air attacks are you BEST FRIEND. Mostly physical.
Wizard, Phase 5
Wizard, Final Phase
Difficulty: 9/10 Stop moving for a millisecond? Didn’t dodge that last attack.
ATTACKS
PK Starstorm:Sends bolts of fire to rain upon to. Never. Stop. Moving.
Fire dash:Sends a bolt of fire dashing across the arena. Stay on the half he’s not on.
Fire slash: Uses his flame sword and flips in midair to swing his sword, then does the same back. Stay on the Up-Down half he isn’t using.
WHEN TO ATTACK
In between his own. He moves too fast to get hit by ranged attacks.
EotG (You get a surprise if you guess what it means)
This is the ending! Thanks for reading, and congradulations on finishing the guide! If you beat the game, double congradulations! If you beat insane mode, triple congradulations! If you beat insane mode with every character, nevermind, that’s impossible. This was just a basic overview of all the classes. Also, if you want a guide about boss slayers instead of techiniques, here’s an amazing guide for that. They did a great job with it.
[link]
Anyways, as your reward, here are some screenshots that have nothing to do with the actual guide!
