Overview
Wondering how to unlock all the characters? Struggling to find a character’s weak spot? Look no further, as this guide will give all the information you need to know about your star and co-star!
What You Need To Know About This Guide!
This guide is always welcome to reccomendations! If you know a weakness that isn’t yet on this guide, feel free to comment! Or, if you think that I should just simply change how this guide is set up, just comment! In fact, if you have any problems with this guide, BE THE CRITIC!
Marilyn Nomore
Marilyn Nomore is a person who think she’s a truly timeless idol. However, from a different perspective, it’s clearly obvious she’s just an elderly woman.
How To Unlock: Automatically unlocked as one of the default stars.
Scene: A Wrinkle In Time (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– and trust me, I’ve been around the block!
– now move, you’re blocking my light, darling!
– now scram, I’m late for my botox!
Mediocre Comebacks
– and that’s not just the medication talking!
– and blonds sure do love making fun!
– but fame will do that to anyone!
Strong Comebacks
– I’ve been seven year itching to say that!
– but any publicity is good publicity!
– but everyone prefers blondes anyway!
Weakness: Marilyn doesn’t like being told the truth that she is old and not the idol she thinks she is.
– is rapidly decomposing
– your last plastic surgery
– is as stylish as
– your red carpet dress
– got beauty secrets from
– your face
– can see dead people
– smells like mothballs
– so listen to your elders! (Can only be used in A Wrinkle In Time scene)
– the place where stars go to die (Can only be used in A Wrinkle In Time scene)
– and it’s a tale as old as time! (Can only be used in A Wrinkle In Time scene)
The Greasy Wizard
The Greasy Wizard has problems with law and order due to his idea of inviting hobbits and dwarves to “a world of magical splendor” located under his overcoat.
How To Unlock: Automatically unlocked as one of the default stars.
Scene: One To Fool Them All (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– put that in your pipe and smoke it!
– you conjuror of cheap quips!
– yes I went there, and back again!
Mediocre Comebacks
– poof, be gone!
– which is an old Elvish adage!
– and one does not simply forget it!
Strong Comebacks
– now fly, you fool!
– now speak, friend, and get lost!
– now go back to the shadow!
Weakness: As mentioned before, he has problems with the law. If you’re even to attempt to roast him, tell him about how terrible his mugshots are or how a strict judge dies at the end.
– a strict judge
– has a worse mugshot than Nick Nolte
– the bad cop
– buddy cops
– is on parole
– would make a terrible sheriff (Can only be used in The Good, The Bad, And Your Momma scene)
– the sheriff (Can only be used in The Good, The Bad, And Your Momma scene)
– are wanted dead or alive (Can only be used in The Good, The Bad, and Your Momma scene)
Dirty Potter
Dirty Potter is the manliest guy there is out there. Having grown a full beard at age 11, he is the legend of the Old West.
How To Unlock: Automatically unlocked as one of the default stars.
Scene: The Good, The Bad, and Your Momma (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– but a wizard’s got to know his limitations!
– and that’s just swell!
– and I’m the tooth fairy!
Mediocre Comebacks
– but you begin to bore the hell out of me!
– and don’t even point a wand at me!
– and I know things about muggles!
Strong Comebacks
– you muggle punk!
– and don’t you forget it, muggle!
– now get off my lawn!
Weakness: Despite being the manliest guy out there, he’s still offended by roasts that tell anything about the lack of manliness.
– was seen at a vegan festival
– has never manscaped
– can’t grow a beard
– can’t hold liquor
– rubber swords
– uses a Game Genie
– your red carpet dress
– uses a double for nude scenes
– effeminately sips tea
– has adult braces
– the man with a small gun (Can only be used by Jane Blunt)
– has a tiny wand (Can only be used by Dirty Potter)
– is a rookie wizard (Can only be used by Dirty Potter)
– so go tell it on Brokeback Mountain! (Can only be used in The Good The Bad And Your Momma scene)
Chop Sue E.
At first, Chop Sue E. was a buddist and had achieved enlightenment by age three. However, after watching Rush Hour 2, she decided to go into show business.
How To Unlock: Finish a career (Defeat F. Parker, CFO in career mode).
Scene: Kung Fu’s Coming To Dinner (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– now meditate on that for a while!
– now exit my dojo!
– and now you have learned, Grasshopper!
Mediocre Comebacks
– and this displeases my master!
– and you couldn’t even beat Karate Kid!
– and you’ve brought this dishonor to yourself!
Strong Comebacks
– now make like a cherry blossom and leave!
– now wax yourself off!
– told you I knew Kung Fu!
Weakness: The only reason why she even is in Hollywood is for her amazing stunts. If you tell anything about how weak or insecure she is, that’s basically saying her so-called “career” is pointless.
– your stunt double
– fights with a wire harness
– rubber swords
– relies on motion capture
– uses a game genie
– has no discernable power
– is less powerful than
– was rated F for failure
– uses a double for nude scenes
– was bested by (Can only be used by Chop Sue E.)
– fell off the balancing post (Can only be used in the Kung Fu’s Coming To Dinner scene)
– got decapitated by a weak opponent (Can only be used in the Roast Your Enemies! scene)
Wisecrack
Just “Marvel” at this guy’s originality! Wisecrack’s body is composed of many superhero parts. He’s fully aware of his knock-off state, but he prefers to ignore it.
How To Unlock: Finish 3 different careers (Defeat F. Parker, CFO with 3 different characters in career mode).
Scene: Coming Soon This Summer 5: The Spinoff (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– and ya just got snark attacked!
– but hey, I’m just a guy in spandex!
– oh fart, I’m late for Pilates!
Mediocre Comebacks
– and wait til you hear the origin story!
– and roll the credits, credit dude!
– now quick, somebody write me a closing zinger!
Strong Comebacks
– and they’ll probably put that on a t-shirt and sell it!
– and that burn was written by some Hollywood tool!
– and to sum it all up… boobs!
Weakness: He knows he is completely unoriginal. He’s already has one foot into his grave, so might as well push the rest of his body into it!
– is a carbon copy of
– another reboot
– was rebooted by J.J. Abrams
– a knock-off rolex
– is yet another reboot of
– is a walking, talking happy meal toy
– your iconic costume
– grossed less than the Green Lantern
– was a replicant
– an annoying excuse for CGI comic relief
– stock footage explosions (Can only be used in Coming Soon This Summer 5: The Spinoff scene)
– a lazy pop culture reference (Can only be used by Wisecrack)
– an uninspired sequel (Can only be used by Wisecrack)
– a desperate cash grab (Can only be used by Wisecrack)
– an uninspired potty joke (Can only be used by Wisecrack)
– fake diamonds (Can only be used by Marilyn Nomore)
F. Parker, CFO
F. Parker is very rich. However, it wasn’t fairly gained. He is also the one apparently responsible for making Vile Monarch create this game.
How To Unlock: Beat career mode with at least 5 different characters. (Beat F. Parker, CFO in career mode with 5 characters).
Scene: The Fool Of Wall Street (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks
– just look at the numbers!
– now get the waiter, I’m low on scotch!
– but I blame the economy!
Mediocre Comebacks
– now beat it, I’ve got a tee time with Elon Musk!
– and I’ll dip my nachos in it!
– and you don’t need a business degree to understand that!
Strong Comebacks
– I swear on my first three wives’ graves!
– now send in the strippers!
– now get back to work!
Weakness: He doesn’t deserve any of the money he’s gotten. Pin down this fact onto him and you will soon be outbossing the boss.
– can’t afford
– a knock-off rolex
– can’t afford a butler
– has a smaller house than
– cuts coupons
– made less money than
– an outdated flip phone
– earns less than
– don’t tip waiters
– could buy and sell you (Only can be used in Fool Of Wall Street scene)
– owes millions to (Can only be used in the Fool Of Wall Street scene)
– and this is something money can’t buy! (Can only be used in the Fool Of Wall Street scene)
– your financial portfolio
– shops the bargain bin
– and you don’t need a business degree to understand that! (Only can be used by F. Parker, CFO)
– but I blame the economy! (Can only be used by F. Parker, CFO)
– flies coach (Can only be used by F. Parker, CFO)
– has only one condo (Can only be used by F. Parker, CFO)
Nosferateen
The only character to not have a red nose, Nosferateen is a 20’s horror flim character.
How To Unlock: Play some multiplayer (“multiplayer” being either online, with a friend, or on a couch). This can take several games in some cases.
Scene: Late Afternoon Of The Dead (Unlocked by playing some more “multiplayer”, but with Nosferateen)
Weak Comebacks
– and even the werewolves know!
– and that’s not just teen gossip!
– and it’s truly a macabre affair!
Mediocre Comebacks
– and I wrote all of that in my diary!
– and I have to live forever with that!
– and I’m not going to cry about it! Again.
Strong Comebacks
– and that really gets under my sparkly skin!
– and I said stay out of my coffin!
– and I’ve crossed oceans of time to say that!
Weakness: Now being similar to a ghost, Nosferateen doesn’t exactly have emotions. You can roast him good by mentioning anything that involves emotion, such as love.
– your onscreen romance
– will never know true love
– were tragically in love with
– your ex
– screams into pillows
– has a cold, dead heart
– had a steamy makeout scene with
– a father’s lifelong resentment
– devoted a journal entry to
– is scared of ghosts (Can only be used in The Late Afternoon Of The Dead scene)
– charmed the pants off of (Can only be used by Jane Blunt)
– and I have to live forever with that! (Can only be used by Nosferateen)
Jane Blunt
Jane Blunt, a woman who is trained in such arts like lethal combat, is one of Britian’s most dangerous spies. No man she’s stood up against is still alive.
How To Unlock: Automatically unlocked as one of the default stars.
Scene: Casino Quarter Pounder (Unlocked at the start)
Weak Comebacks:
– now where’s my martini?!
– I’m a secret agent, but that’s no secret!
– and that’s from reliable intel!
Mediocre Comebacks
– and I went deep to uncover that!
– and that’s not a clever innuendo!
– for your ears only!
Strong Comebacks
– and my word is my bond!
– and I’ve been licensed to kill your spirits!
– and let’s face it, you’re a double oh zero!
Weakness: She’s a British spy and she’s proud to be one. Take advantage of this by directly insulting Britian.
– A shorter version of Benedict Cumberbatch
– is a James Bond knock-off
– were rumored to be the next Bond girl
– effeminately sips tea
– ruins the British accent
– the royal family
– crashed the royal wedding
– the new Doctor Who
– Princess Diana’s ghost
– her majesty (Can only be used by Jane Blunt)
Groan
Combining somebody from Crush Your Enemies with the Terminator? *groans* He’s just as confused as we are…
How To Unlock: Play some multiplayer games (“multiplayer” refers to any game played under the “two stars” modes, including on a couch). This may take several games.
Scene: Roast Your Enemies! (Unlocked by using Groan (win or lose) in more multiplayer matches)
Weak Comebacks
– end dialog program!
– now please abort your operating system!
– and it’s not a tumor!
Mediocre Comebacks
– because I’m programmed to be a mean machine!
– and you’re more of a last action zero!
– which is one of my best one-liners!
Strong Comebacks
– now listen to the lamentations of your women!
– now hurry, get to da choppa!
– hasta la vista, baby!
Weakness: He has only a limited amount of brain power. Insult how dumb he is (or mention something about a robot falling off a cliff on a segway) and Groan will be sure to take it more seriously.
– some bumbling buffoon
– flunked out of community college
– got a terrible SAT score
– is still confused by inception
– just doesn’t get
– couldn’t even teach kindergarten
– can’t learn English grammar
– got an online diploma
– thinks shaolin is a breed of cat (Can only be used by Chop Sue E.)
– is constantly confused by (Can only be used in A Wrinkle In Time scene)
Thank You For Reading
It’s a pleasure to have feedback from the the critic that’s inside all of us. Leave a comment and like (or dislike, if you feel obliged to do so) to support this guide!