Overview
For the edification of the curious, and a warning for the faint of heart and childrenThe inscrutable Fishman, bedevilment of science, terror of the deep – what accident of nature created such a creature? Who can speak to his mysterious motives?Herein, a paper, compiled by the Royal Archivist for Queen and Empire. Read it. Know it. In your sleep dream of it.
Hats: Windows to the Soul
What it is that seperates man from beast? Is it language? The power of speech? I put it to you, the things that raises man above the animal kingdom is the wearing of hats.
As Colonial Overseer, you will be charged with an awesome responsibility: bring the light of civilisation to the darkest reaches of the world.
Is is therefore of utmost importance that you are intimately familiar with the headgear of your scaly neighbours, the baleful Fishman. This guidebook contains illustrations and information on all headwear heretofore observed. Familiarise yourself, for Queen and Cog.
The Diving Helmet
Diggers were recently surprised by a particularly determined gang of Fishmen today. Their leader wore a magnificent seaweed-tangled brass diving helmet.
Glorious!
Ladies.
Critically, this raises a number of questions:
Do Fishmen understand how diving helmets work? And on a related note, is this helmet functional? Perhaps he needs water like we need air.
Is he simply wearing the Diving Helmet as adornment? Perhaps this gang of Fishmen have only a cargo-cult understanding of land-dweller society. In context, the act of digging clay seemed to cause them some confusion.
And perhaps the most sinister question: Is this a former Royal Marine, perhaps, still wearing the vestiges of his diving equipment? Was he drawn drawn back to shore by the vestigial memories of his old life?
The Sea Snail
An example of headgear based on the shell of the sea snail:
Magnificent!
You’ve got something on your face.
We can perhaps speculate that the Fishmen are ready scavengers of materials intended for use in weaponry and personal adornment. Though we cannot readily determine if their settlements are sedentary or nomadic, we can at least assume they have ready access to the ocean floor, given the presence of bone knives, sea shells, and other detritus that would be deposited there. The decorative markings on the face mask are particularly intriguing.
The Puffer Fish
Another charming example of native headgear, made from fish. A cursory examination will identify the likely source as the Puffer Fish, or its close relative the Porcupine fish, both of the Order Tetraodontiformes.
Striking!
The common puffer fish thrives in tropical waters, and is not to be found in cold waters. It is a poor swimmer and tends to stay close to the ocean floor. Consequently, the prevalence of this apparel suggests the Fishmen themselves either settle or at least inhabit the tropical ocean floor. We might even speculate that the scaly homunculi practice a limited form of domestication.
An understated elegance.
A worrisome thought occurs, however. Both the Puffer Fish and the Porcupine Fish possess notoriously virulent poisons, employed in self-defense. Surely the primitive Fishpeoples must possess a latent immunity to such poisons, because the unthinkable alternative is to suggest that they are proficient in the nature and effect of such deadly toxins.
In Conclusion
The intricacies of the New World are terrifying and wondrous. Do not be so swept up that you lose yourself in them; it is by the grace of the Holy Cog and the benevolence of the Queen that you will spread the light of civilisation. Be resolved, and let your hat light your way on the dark continent.
n.b.: It is, regrettably, inevitable that some of those under your oversight will prove not to be of stuff as stern as you. These otherwise upstanding citizens will doubt you. Get Out of the Sun, they will say, or Why Are You Going On About Hats Again. Square your shoulders, and set your eyes to the horizon. You are Chosen, and all will enter the shadow of our Dark Master in the fullness of time.