Overview
Have you ever watched Beaglerush and thought “Wew Lad, I want to ride Van Doorn into battle on a bicycle!”? Well, this is the guide for you! 1/10 Enemy came in from the sides- IGN 69/420 Instructions Unclear Caps Stuck- Generic Memster 9/11 This tought me how to prank like an MLG Pro- ComedyShortsGamer
The all important Prologue
Welcome, Newbies/Wannabe Commanders to my very weird gude! Please note that this guide is a silly one, and not to be taken seriously. But for those who want the lulz/adopt Beaglerush’s OP playstyle where nobody totally dies, continue reading lads. Good luck Commander.
Step one
You need to be Australian. If you’re not, try adopting an Australian Accent and move to Australia. If not, you’ve already failed before you’ve turned on the game. Good job, impecile.
(Don’t be this guy. No one wants to be this guy. Do you want to be this guy? I thought so.)
Step Two
Well, you might want to install the Long War Mod[www.nexusmods.com] to start off, as it isn’t very impressive to win Xcom Vanilla compared to winning Xcom Long War.
Steps Three Through 13
Set the Game mode to Impossible, activate Ironman mode for maximum ballsiness, and turn on every Second Wave feature that makes your life miserable, preferrably Itchy Trigger Tentacle/Finger, Red Fog, Aiming Angles, The one that makes the game longer, and Mind Hates Matter.
Steps 14-15
Make a youtube and Twitch Account dedicated to your campaign, streaming every time you boot up the game, and uploading the stream to Youtube and put ads in the video every five minutes, claiming it is to “support your game” when in real life you’re richer than Tai Lopez, with two Lamborghinis, instead of his measly one. Now, to name yourself. I reccomend making a combination of one thing from a game with a big fanbase, and “rush” in Beaglerush so they know you are a beaglerush clone you mean business. For example, Deaglerush is a nice name, because it makes you look like a channel dedicated to rushing 1-deags, when you’re playing a game where soldiers with sniper rifles can’t shoot an exposed alien while steadied + combat stims + scope + laser sight + laser weapon. Congrats, now you have a way to show off your sick skillz!
Steps 16-68
Don’t die, and give commentary. Oh, and swear a lot, too.
Step 69
Wew Lad you just won, and you have nothing else to do! So, instead of uploading content, make a potato vlog every week talking about how it you’re compiling highlights from the campaign, that it is taking a while, and will be uploading them soon. Then mention how you will begin streaming and making gaming videos again when XCOM 2 comes out. Congrats, you just wasted five minutes of your life! That’s 105 minutes less than I spent writing this guide when if I was focused, I could have completed in ten minutes. Good luck everyone!
The even more important part the the Prologue, the Epilogue.
Well, there’s nothing special in this chapter, so you can skip this if you want. Just saying that if you put a rating in the comments I’ll add it to the description. And if I don’t add it instantly, believe me lad, eventually I’ll add that stupid review some random m8 wrote a year and a half ago.