Overview
Ever get tired of getting killed by things that look like pieces of the wall? Do you often lose track of your target when he’s right next to you? Do you often miss your shots as a Marine? Do you often drink a high amount of alcohol and/or use drugs?If you’ve answered Yes to any of these, then Congratulations, YOU CAN’T ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ DANCEWHY CAN’T I DANCE?BECAUSE YOU DON’T HAVE ANY DANCE SKILLS AND YOU JUST SUCK IN GENERAL.Feel free to kill yourself now or just look at this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ guide and then kill yourself.
WHY CAN’T i DANCE?
You might be asking yourself, “Well, why can’t i dance?”.
WELL THE ANSWER IS REALLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SIMPLE.
YOU CAN’T DANCE BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER DANCED IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE, and that’s mostly your fault.
NOONE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOLD YOU THAT THIS GAME IS ACTUALLY A DANCE SIMULATOR, EVERYONE THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A FIRST PERSON SHOOTER, WRONG.
HOW TO DANCE
FOR BEGINNERS:
WASD Keys + Space/Mouse
SOUNDS REALLY COMPLICATED?
Well it’s not too late to kill yourself.
HOW TO DANCE v2.3
FOR ADVANCED DANCERS:
ACT UNNATURAL AND UNPREDICTABLE AGAINST YOUR OPPONENTS, BUT REMEMBER, YOU WILL NEVER DANCE BETTER THAN THEM SO JUST PRETEND THAT YOU CAN, THIS WAY YOU CAN CONFUSE THEM AND FORCE THEM TO RETREAT.
AND BY THAT I MEAN YOU WILL MOST LIKELY DIE OR BREAK MOST OF YOUR BONES.
ANOTHER THING YOU CAN TRY IS TO DANCE AS THEM IN BACKWARDS, IT WON’T WORK THE FIRST FEW TIMES, MAYBE A HUNDRED FEW TIMES, BUT IT’S WORTH IT, MAYBE.
DEALING WITH ONOS/EXO
YOU CAN’T DANCE YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS ONE, ♥♥♥♥♥♥.
AN ONOS WILL MOST LIKELY CHASE YOU DOWN BECAUSE YOU MOVE SLOWER WHEN WALKING BACKWARDS FOR SOME REASON.
AN EXO WILL PROBLABLY FILL YOU WITH BULLETS FASTER THAN YOU WILL ESCAPE.
THOUGH IT IS POSSIBLE TO ESCAPE FROM BOTH SITUATIONS, IT’S JUST HARD.
DANCE SIMULATOR
FOR ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WHO DIDN’T LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS GUIDE AND WANNA LEARN MORE. I DON’T ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ KNOW WHY, ASK THEM.
CONSLUCION
YOU STILL HAVE A LOT OF ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ TO LEARN. BETTER PRE-ORDER THE NEXT DANCE SIMULATOR THAT’S COMING IN 2016.
Everytime i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ play as an Alien, i see Marines jumping around like idiots whenever there’s an alien next to them, i don’t ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ know why, it’s not gonna help and it’s not gonna save their legs from being chewed off by an alien.