How to dominate a game through chat and chat only

Overview

How to win a game in CS:S EASY METHOD”10/10 beat me up if this doesn’t work” -me”actually don’t beat me up 10/10″ -also me

Intro

So you have just joined a game. Your wifi sucks, so you can’t win by ping. Your setup also sucks, so you can’t win by frame rate. Maybe you’ve just joined, your skillz aren’t dat gud. Don’t worry my friend, here is a step by step guide to win *almost* every match 😉

No hacks were included in the making of this guide

How does it work?

what I am about to teach you is a very sacred spell, it’s functionality the same as common cheat codes. But it is magical, so client/server will not be affected and you will not be banned unless you spam it so much that even blind and deaf people notice.

how 2 say

it is written as СУКА бЛЯТЬ, which is way to hard to actually type in a firefight. Luckily, I have, after heavy research, risking my life in the doing, found a simplified way.
cyka blyat.
if you want it to have more effect, you can type
CYKA BLYAT!
if you’re on VC, then luckily I know how to pronounce it.
SUOH-KAH BUH-LEE-YET or sooka blyeat if you arent so strict on stuff like this.

effects

You’ll most likely get a few guns, from teammates and enemies alike. They will be put in a trance and worship you madly, in order to maximise the effect you can try repeating yourself, or saying the spell in mortal language: F* you B*. If you do this correctly, congratulations, you may lie on your bed and take a nap, when you wake up you will find that your wins have drastically increased and you will most likely not be damaged 😀