Overview
Here’s a foolproof way to get lots of Steam points by putting in 10 minutes of effort while you’re procrastinating schoolwork.
Step 1!
The first step to getting your free Steam points is to select a target game. Usually this will be a game with a large Steam workshop which causes loading times to be long. If you’re reading this guide I am assuming you have Rimworld, and this is likely your best choice. Just create a guide on its community page and tick every single category.
Step 2!
The second step is to have an assignment due for school. This will give you the motivation needed to do literally anything besides the assignment, allowing you to complete the guide in an astonishingly short time.
Step 3!
Come up with the most overused jokes in the entire community and then attempt to expand upon them with supporting imagery and absurd ideas.
Step 4!
Put your best ideas together in an easy to read yet entertaining format, throw in some interesting yet clear language, and prepare to profit!
Ask yourself before you publish the guide, if I were reading this would I find it funny? If I saw that joke would I laugh or would I groan? If a joke is kinda just meh you should change it or scrap it all together. Don’t upload anything that will bore your reader or make them annoyed.
(Note: I originally wasn’t going to include the frosting cookie joke on my second guide “More Things to do While Rimworld Loads”, but I decided the joke that was in its place was lame and replaced it with the frosting cookie joke. This resulted in a very nice comment from someone who had just sat down with those frosting cookies and got a good laugh)
Step 5!
After publishing, forget about your guide for a solid three months and randomly check your Steam inbox to find that it has blown up. Be glad that you were able to brighten so many people’s day, and decide to make a sequel.
Super secret bonus step
Realize that Steam points are worthless and that making people happy is worth so much more. Look not at the amount of awards received, but at the amount of people who liked your guide so much that they decided to give you a little animated icon with their limited points. Look at the people who decided to comment that they were entertained. Look at that visitor count and know that you were able to have a small impact on that many people’s lives.
🙂
If steps 1-5 failed to give you points
So you’re unoriginal and unfunny? Your only other option is leaving reviews on popular games.
The below is fake. Dislike any reviews that contain this.
This game saved my life.
I am 27.
My ex-wife and I have a daughter together, and adopted our son together. They are now both 4 years old.
When we were going through our separation, I found myself lost and miserable. I was self destructive. I got so mad one day from everything spiraling out of my control that I punched some concrete in a moment of overwhelming emotion. That caused me to break my 5th metacarpal in my right hand… my working hand… my games hand.. the hand that I held and carried my children to bed with.. The hand I desperately needed to make sure I could continue to provide.
After learning of the severity of my self-inflicted damage, I was borderline suicidal. Keep in mind that just a few months before this, I was the happiest man with no history of depression or anxiety. I have never had fits of rage, or been one to break down and cry, but I was in a low spot that just really buried me from being able to see the light on the other side.
Having nothing better to do, I searched for a game I could play, ONE HANDED while I recovered. I somehow stumbled upon this game and read some of the reviews. I decided that it had to be worth a shot… I must admit, I didn’t beat the game, or play nearly as long as some of you. In fact, I may have only played this game a day or two.. With that being said, after doing so, I had a new found joy and hope for life. I was able to put behind me the pain and suffering that had been cast over me. I was able to experience other peoples joy and happiness. I was able to see the fruits of my “labor”. I relaxed for 5 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ minutes to this music long enough to realize that I was going to be okay.
After coming to that realization, I turned the game off, and I went back to work. It hurt my hand like hell but I was motivated. I stopped feeling so damn sorry for myself, and I became the father I needed to be in that moment, not the weak boy I was behaving as.
Today, I am close friend with my kids mother. We don’t fight, or argue, or say hurtful things to each other. We are parents, and friends.
I now have 3 kids. My third child is, wait for it, ALSO 4 YEARS OLD. The woman I am with was going through a very similar situation at the time of my own separation, and we just stumbled in to each others life unexpectedly. We have been in a relationship for a year now, and are very happy together.
Moral of the story, you never know what life holds in store for you, and if I would have given up when all the odds were stacked against me, I wouldn’t be where I am today. This silly little game helped me realize that.
Thank you
End of point farming review
This is sure to get you loads of internet points, so be sure to copy paste it on every game in your library.
In all seriousness, don’t be an idiot and leave fake reviews for points. If you want to make a good review, just make a decent joke.
Outro
Made this while sleep deprived and bored and it probably shows. I’ll look at this in the morning and probably laugh, and I hope I can make you laugh as well. Enjoy the guide, and enjoy your game which has likely finished loading while reading this.
If you recognize the name or the writing style, you know me as the dude who made these things:
I did initially make that first guide intending to get points, but after seeing that I was able to make people happy I followed that super secret step and wrote my sequel.
Happiness > Money/internet points
Be kind to others, and be kind to yourself. You deserve it.
Now give me your points