How to kill Odie the Dog

Overview

This is a guide teaching why you should despise the terrorist threat known by the name, Odie.

Information regarding the most distasteful being living currently on our planet.

Odie is a lying narcissistic scumbag that deserves to be Garfields punching bag. He was only created by god to live and exist as a tumor in our galaxy. He is a shuffling, bumbiling, crusty little ♥♥♥♥ of an animal that does not deserve to have the privialge to stay anywhere near our great overruler, Garfield. We need to start a movement, a revolt, a new society to rebel against everything that this buffoon has brought upon our planet. I’m sure that anybody who would come to meet Odie would instantly have the urge to pelt him with rocks and glass.
Figure 1: Odie the Dog AKA the most malaise-inflicting animal to ever exist, hes basically a carbon-copy of Satan himself, visualised. Just look at how insolent and arrogant he stands there, waving his tongue about in the air like that, I really just feel like cutting it off and using it as confetti to celebrate the loss of his tongue.

Removing the terrorist threat known as Odie

We’ve already came to the conclusion that Odie is one of the most hateful and sinful beings to ever exist, even competing with Satan himself, so there’s no doubt that anybody would not agree with my methods unless they are more extreme than my current methods. The first step: True Thermonuclear Mulit-Stage Tritium Nuclear bombing. Of course this would be costly but since everybody absolutely despises Odie, acquiring such technology would be not as trivial as one my think. Kim Jong Un so happens to be the current founding father of most nuclear weapons on the planet besides a unknown facility housed in Mother Russia. Communicating with Kim may be difficult as his first language is English but acquiring the weapons will come with great ease, don’t you worry. The second stage is for the general public to learn Odies daily habits and routines, the more knowledge the better.
As being in the vicinity of Odie may be harmful towards your sanity and well-being it is very much worth it for the greater good our planet and Garfield himself.

Once today’s society learns about Odies daily habits and routines that’s when we figure out when to send out the True Thermonuclear Mulit-Stage Tritium Nuclear Warhead to his exact co-ordinates.
“What about Garfield well-being and safety?” I hear you ask? Well, that’s also a very simple solution: we send a special-ops dispatch team composed of the greatest Japanese Yakuzas to be currently alive to retrieve John, and of course the worlds overruler, Garfield. These operatives are as silent as the wind and have remained as a secret for almost 7 melania, and have the most successful underhanded transactions to ever be successfully commsense on planet earth. Of course to keep the status and integrity of their identity and to keep their protection at a maximum, I will keep their identity a secret. For now on I will be referring to the operatives as “Project Silent Panther”.
Odie happens to not be nocturnal and is, a majority of the time, a hard sleeper.

We have two highly reliable options for the dispatch of Garfield, you can vote for what would be the most reliable option on this strawpoll: [link]

Option 1 of Removal: Nuclear Explosives

Option 1: At exactly 3:36 AM Project Silent Panther will go through window G (Back window, 3rd to the right hand side, north) which would stay unlocked prior to the set time so they can enter silently and quickly so Odie can remain asleep, this way Odie cannot react. Precisely 19 minuets before they enter the house the Warhead will be launched to their house, all expenses covered by the American government (except Odies, hes a blabbery ♥♥♥♥, there’s no way anybody with a working cerebellum would assist that imbecile). I will also be keeping the location of their dispatch location and Warhead launch location redacted as there may imbecile that would like to stifle with our plan.

Option 2 of Removal: Special-Ops Mission

Option 2: The Project Silent Panther will eliminate Odie on the spot at exactly 3:36 AM using a 500 Smith and Wesson Magnum, unsilenced. We obviously want 0% chance of Odie surviving the encounter so two members of Project Silent Panda will be packing a AAC Honey Badger, unsilenced.

Not convinced? Heres more information about the worlds most abhorrent abomination

Odie is the only pus-ridden pimple that is blocking Garfield (our overruler) from enjoying his heaven-like life (besides Mondays, seriously, ♥♥♥♥ Mondays, like why is it even a DAY OF THE WEEK PLEASE REMOVE MONDAYS FROM THE WEEK). The most perfect example of this contagion that curses our planet is found within the comic strip published on 1984/09/02, when Odie locks Garfield out of John & Garfield’s car during a thunderstorm, with no shelter.

This not only is one of the if not the most perfect examples of this living scums hatred towards John and Garfield, but it also shows that this abomination of a living cell also has somewhat of an intellect in his cerebrum. This can easily be a danger towards society and our planet, if not our entire galaxy. This plagues existence alone endangers us and our well-being, who knows what this infection is hiding from us in secret. This comic is only the start of a new generation that can occur if he stays alive and in one piece on our planet. Still not convinced? Here’s another example of this pure filth treating some of the most important founding fathers of our generation and lively hood:

This comic strip is very toxic to look at, just the thought of knowing that he can even read, let alone understand human dialect is very dangerous to our civilization and needs immediate action. The only remotley positive thing about this strip is that hes smoking tobacco, which has a chance to poison his lungs and inflict a cancer into his system.

Garfield teaching Od*e a lesson

Please spread the word about the elimination of this rodent.

This rodent really doesn’t deserve the amount of effort that I have put into writing about him, yet it has to be done. Writing this has taken some time and I would be most graceful if you could share this with at least 1 friends or family member, it would most certainly help a lot with my cause. Please also leave a like, favourite and share so more people can see me speaking out about his rodents pain that it has caused the world. If you feel like expressing your hatred you can contribute https://www.reddit.com/r/f u c k o d i e/ (Without spaces)