Overview
=Big Update=I haven’t been able to find time to update the comic or write it in the new format and, in a big reinventing of myself, realized that making comics was something more of my past I could attain with excessive free time in grade school which no longer applies to my life now as I have to work as a PSW with my fiancee.I will however continue to follow my artistic passions which may include NT fan art that may or may not include some Joe stuff here and there. I’ll upload it on the Steam Artwork section when I get around to doing that.Sorry for any diehard fans of the series that didn’t die off in the huge hiatus. Joe was going to get there sometime with the help of the mutants, mostly Robot and Horror as his right hand ‘pets’, and take the throne once Y.V. got tired of sitting in it and blowing him away with the rad beam. Probably would have wished for the world to be cleansed which would have lead to MK 2 going on a rampage which would have to be stopped by the mutants leading to an even bigger mess before all of them died except for Horror, Joe, and Rogue in the process. Horror would be revealed by Rogue to be a portal to other dimensions and send him off to stop another great loss, then it pretty much all starts over with Joe forgetting what he was going to do and getting distracted by dead bodies and other unclean matters.Hope that adds some closure.
Chapter 22
Rebel, Joe, and the “hired help” that managed to hit every other squared off rock even remotely in the way proceeded to wander forth in the desert farther in search of the larger bandit.
“Rebel.” Rebel replied, clearly not pleased with any small talk from Joe,
“Oh.” Joe replied simply,
“What?” Rebel questioned, somewhat irritated,
“People don’t have real names around here. The fish is named Fish.” Joe explained casually,
“We have titles. Our group’s language is developing.” Rebel explained,
“What does the title of Fish mean? He smells?” Joe questioned simply, Rebel sighing in irritation,
“I… I don’t know why I’m still talking to you…” Rebel stated, returning her sights ahead of her.
They continued across the scorching sands, rebel and her helpers gunning down a few stray enemies along the way with their pistols and her shotgun, Joe contributing nothing in a stupor.
“Is this how you always fight?” Rebel questioned, a bit irritated with his lack of action, Joe looking to her with a crazed daze,
“I… I’m just having a hard time adjusting to all this… Fish told me not to bury the bodies…” Joe stated, Rebel looking to him with a bit of sympathy as she eased her edge,
“Sympathetic?” Rebel questioned, somewhat in disbelief,
“I… I just can’t adjust to not doing my job!” Joe stated ecstatically,
Rebel sighed a bit in reply,
“You never fail to disappoint me…” She concluded.
The sands blew with the rare gusts that blessed the sun stroked, but luckily it seemed that Rebel was prepared with her bandaged body along with her minions; Joe… he just didn’t seem to wear down or care with the hot sun beating down on him and his crusty rusted pistol.
“When did he appear to you?” Rebel questioned suddenly, Joe glancing up from his spaced out state,
“I was just talking aloud to myself about stuff and he popped out of a wall.” Joe stated simply, Rebel scoffing a bit at the thought,
“Typical, he was always one to make an entrance…” Rebel muttered aloud to herself,
“Well he’s a big boss, what’s wrong with that?” Joe questioned, Rebel stopping and looking back to Joe,
“I’m just tired of his attitude, tired of a lot of things, and what he stands for, alright?” Rebel replied bluntly,
“Okay.” Joe replied simply, seeming calm about it all. Rebel seemed a bit annoyed with Joe’s innocence for it all, maybe even jealous to be so simple and un-plagued in the post-apocalyptic world.
“…What is your drive for the nuclear throne Joe?” Rebel questioned suddenly,
“I want to clean it.” Joe replied without hesitation,
“Is cleaning an obsession for you? The only drive you have left?” Rebel questioned,
“It’s my job.” Joe stated, Rebel silent for a moment, turning to look at one of her minions who stood at the ready for her with gun in hand,
“That’s not true.” Joe stated suddenly, Rebel turning a bit to eye him sarcastically,
“And how is that?” Rebel questioned,
“I’m not behind rocks for hire, and I’m a janitor.” Joe stated simply, Rebel sighing angrily and turning away,
“If big bandit doesn’t show up right now, I’m going back to camp.” Rebel stated, the sands erupting as a towering figure emerged and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ their monstrous gun, Rebel and her minions turning to him while Joe looked over to Rebel in confusion before noticing Big Bandit,
“Always with the big entrances…” Rebel thought aloud, cocking a new shell into her shotgun.
Chapter 23
Luckily for the group, there was considerable nearby cover, nothing like the flaming barrel nearby that Big Bandit shot and detonated, killing three of his own.
“Bandits kept shooting me and didn’t want to talk.” Joe explained, Rebel sighing,
“If only you could talk to them, this world lost all sense.” Rebel stated simply, looking to Joe,
“Are you going to help this time or not?” She questioned with some sarcasm in her tone,
“What do you want me to do? That big bandit shot me a bunch last time.” Joe stated,
“I could feel it in my candy that he didn’t stop.” Joe added, Rebel thinking it over,
“Blend in to the others, fire aimlessly and leave the hard work to me.” Rebel concluded,
“Okay!” Joe replied overenthusiastically, rushing out from the cover to nearly dodge enemy fire, Rebel taking the opportunity to leap out with armed shotgun in hand.
Joe began flailing his hands around, firing his pistol randomly which earned no more attention from Big Bandit who mistook Joe for Rebel initially. 
Big Bandit turned his attention to the surrounding allies, proceeding to unleash heavy machinegun fire upon one who was thrown to the ground, lifeless.
Rebel growled a bit to herself, jumping out from behind her cover and rushed towards Big Bandit, unloading a full potent blast of her shotgun to the back of Big Bandit’s head who was thrown down to his hands and knees as a result, Rebel quickly loading another shell to follow up before she was slammed in the gut with the butt of Big Bandit’s gun which he whipped out with his one hand. Rebel seemingly couldn’t handle the pain as she collapsed down to her knees holding her gut with an extreme pained expression, the gunfire from Joe mucking around the only sound as they all came to a standstill.
Big Bandit was clearly at an advantage, having taken down the only hero they had with a swift strike, leaving the few minions hesitant to fire in case they would strike the downed Rebel. Joe seemed to not notice anything at all, continuing with the plan as he fired everywhere, wasting bullet after bullet.
Big Bandit knew he had won, chuckling a bit to himself as he aimed his heavy machinegun down at Rebel, ready to execute her,
“Do it, I’ll only come back stronger every time… You… you’ll be replaced, nothing stronger, nothing smarter, just another bandit with gigantism…” Rebel stated, blood staining where her mouth should have been gradually.
Big Bandit pulled the trigger, the gun vanishing along with his arm as a great beam of green energy ravaged the area it touched,
“I shot a scorpion!” Joe stated, rushing back towards cover as another beam struck the patch of rocks he hid behind.
Big Bandit looked to his missing arm, then back to the end of a shotgun, shot right in the eye point blank and sent flying backwards to the ground onto his back limply.
Dust cleared near Rebel from Big Bandit’s heavy impact, revealing her minions to be taking care of the scorpion while Joe hid away. Rebel struggled to get up, finding the pain too great to fight against in her abdominals; Joe eventually made it over to her side along with the minions once they disarmed the threat.
“You really committed to those orders, didn’t you?…” Rebel questioned somewhat fondly,
“Really wanted to help, I guess…” Rebel thought aloud,
“Yeah. What happened though?” Joe questioned again, seeming a bit insensitive,
“He hit me where it hurts, put myself too far out there with my hatred for his ways…” Rebel replied, laying down in the sand,
“I… I think this is it for me today…” Rebel concluded,
“But did you beat him?” Joe questioned, looking to the fallen Big Bandit,
“Yeah… shot him in the eye with the shotgun. That did it last time…” Rebel stated, gripping at her stomach for a moment,
“Last time? He’s going to come back?” Joe questioned with surprise, looking to Rebel,
“Yeah, somebody will always take his place. All bandits with gigantism are fated to take his role and rule over our kind however they want.” Rebel explained, coughing a bit, Joe nodding in reply,
“But why did you hate this one?” Joe questioned curiously, Rebel chuckling a bit in reply,
“I knew him before…” Rebel stated simply, yet weakly.
A void appeared over Big Bandit, violently dragging in surrounding objects and startling Joe,
“What is that?!” Joe questioned in a panic,
“Your way forward. Jump in, it will bring us towards the throne…” Rebel explained,
“Okay!” Joe replied overenthusiastically, running towards it,
“Wait… Joe…” Rebel began, Joe stopping and turning to look at her,
“…Thanks for listening.” Rebel concluded, closing her eye tiredly.
Joe was silent, unsure what to make of it. He decided to shrug it off and run towards the void, sucked in as he screamed wildly before it closed behind him to leave Rebel and her allies alone amongst the dead.
The void was crazed, purple light spiraling around Joe from seemingly nowhere, unfamiliar debris flying everywhere. Joe was struck by a live animal that began biting him rapidly, Joe continuing to scream in terror and pain before it was struck by a rusty pipe that sent it off elsewhere.
Joe slowly took what happened in as he calmed down, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all and he could enjoy some wormhole travel.
He was then blown apart into cardboard chunks and his assorted candies after being struck by a manhole cover.
A great blaze of nuclear green fire and a few chords of Fish’s guitar welcomed Joe back to camp, Joe looking around to find Rebel in the corner, tucked into her scarf as always to hide from the cold while distancing herself from the others. Joe ignored this as he advanced towards her merrily.
“I got hit by a rock and died.” Joe stated simply,
“You are an idiot Joe.” Rebel concluded.
Chapter 24
It was another cold night at camp; Fish strumming his guitar calmly and Joe doing some cleanup around them with his broom, rearranging the sand dunes just right to calm his OCD urges. The camp always felt kind of empty with only the three of them occupying the area, but it might have been the little remaining light in the area to blame.
“…Hey Fish, are we the only ones left?” Joe questioned suddenly, Fish glancing up as he continued strumming his strings,
“No, but there aren’t many sane individuals around.” Fish replied simply,
“Well there’s you, me, and Rebel, who else is there?” Joe questioned curiously,
“A couple, none of them really opened up and just keep on sluggin after they come back.” Fish replied simply,
“All we have is a code, don’t shoot each-other and don’t get in each-other’s way on the path to the throne.” Fish explained, Joe nodding a bit,
“Well, I hope we can all be friends.” Joe stated cheerfully, Fish chuckling a bit,
“Yeah, wouldn’t that be great kid…” Fish thought aloud,
“So, how’s the battle out there?” Fish questioned suddenly, Joe looking up to Fish,
“Well, Rebel brought me out to fight her boss and she died after killing them, then I went in a black hole and died.” Joe stated simply, Fish chuckling a bit in reply,
“So, not good. Can’t even make it to the sewers yet?” Fish questioned a bit sarcastically,
“Are there rats in there?” Joe questioned,
“Yeah, big ones, and bigger ones.” Fish stated,
“I can’t say for sure, it’s been awhile since I was out there. Things are always mutating, the world never stays still for the dethroners.” Fish stated somewhat bitterly, Joe nodding a bit,
“Well I like your guitar when I die, you are good at it.” Joe stated, Fish smiling a bit in reply.
The campfire suddenly burst into a brilliant nuclear green pyre that arched over onto the ground nearby throwing embers through the sky and revealed a mountain of muscle once it dissipated, the muscle roared out in furious gibberish scaring Joe thoroughly as he began screaming and took out his rusty revolver,
“Wait!” Fish exclaimed, dropping his guitar and rolling in between them swiftly,
“Oh.” Joe stated simply, lowering his weapon,
“Why is he a meatball?” Joe questioned suddenly, Fish sighing in relaxation as he headed back to his log and picked up his guitar again,
“We don’t know, we think he might be the last human, but we can’t get much out of him because all of his muscles are overdeveloped, including his tongue.” Fish explained, checking the strings and tuning on his guitar,
“I could probably fix that.” Joe stated simply, Steroids looking to him skeptically,
“Were you a doctor as well?” Fish questioned, just as skeptical,
“We’re always looking for one, they’d be indispensable as a partner in the wastes.” Fish explained,
“No, but I have a great idea.” Joe stated, shooting Steroids in the mouth suddenly and sending him stumbling back before falling on his back limply.
Both Fish and Rebel were on high alert, guns aimed at Joe who stood calmly,
“What?” Joe questioned innocently,
“Don’t ‘what’ me kid! You just shot him in the head!” Fish stated angrily,
“You broke the no interpersonal violence code!” Fish added,
“Well if that didn’t work, he’ll just come back.” Joe stated simply,
“We don’t know if that works in the camp! Nobody dies here!” Fish stated, Joe seeming concerned,
“Oh, well you should have told me that.” Joe stated, looking to the fallen hulk, Fish sighing angrily as he sat down on the log and seemed stressed,
“He’s not dissipating, he might be dead for good…” Fish thought aloud, glancing around as he thought about it all,
“Do not concern yourselves over me gentlemen.” An unfamiliar somewhat moist and flappy voice stated, Fish and Joe looking over,
“W-what?” Fish thought aloud, looking to the beast who now was sitting up,
“A bullet through my jaw will be one of the last things to down me in this world.” He stated,
“And for your sakes, you may address me as Steroids.” Steroids concluded, Fish amazed,
“You… can talk. And you have somewhat intelligent alterations of our language…” Fish thought aloud in disbelief,
“I have been preoccupying myself with many projects to better our chances in the wasteland.” Steroids stated,
“I was once a scientist of broad horizons, studying flora, fauna, chemistry, and robotics. I was able to survive by developing a highly concentrated steroid and fuelling my growth with high concentration proteins and vitamins. All of this and life support in a well-developed bomb shelter ensured my survival.” Steroids explained,
“As for the present, I am currently scavenging the junkyards for material but there are too many damned ravens interrupting my work.” Steroids concluded, Fish nodding a bit in reply, seeming to have some issue following the complex trash talk,
“Then the anger was from the ravens?” Fish questioned,
“There are far too many out there, only made worse by their supply of sub machine guns, ammunition, and lack of restraint.” Steroids replied bitterly,
“So I shot you in the neck and you can talk now?” Joe interrupted, Steroids looking to Joe,
“Your lapse in judgment and straightforward technique was enough to clear my airway of excessive muscle, I am capable of speech for the moment.” Steroids stated simply in reply, Joe silent as he struggled to take it in which Steroids noticed,
“That is correct.” Steroids repeated,
“Neat.” Joe concluded simply.
Steroids sat down near the fire and looked through his notes silently for a bit, warming himself up while coordinating his next actions,
“Are you willing to tell us what you’re working on?” Fish questioned suddenly, Steroids glancing up from his journal,
“A device to summon voids similar to those that naturally occur once life in a general area is consequentially devoid due to swift judgment from one’s artillery.” Steroids stated, Fish seeming to be taking it in,
“A teleporter?” Joe questioned suddenly,
“Simply, I suppose so.” Steroids replied,
“But the world is unstable, it is not a simple task to pinpoint coordinates. It will have to require programming, and creating a computer from scrap will be no easy feat, let alone this advanced machinery.” Steroids explained,
“However, I have witnessed machines in the junkyard, sentient beings that aim to precisely kill foreign beings they set sights on.” Steroids added simply,
“If I could take one alive, I could create a makeshift computer.” Steroids concluded, Fish nodding a bit in understanding,
“Wut 4? Gun bi winz nrd?” A crude voice stated, the three of them looking to the source, being a triangle with an eye and a golden pistol held by tiny arms all held up by tiny legs,
“Who are you? Are you another me?” Joe added, the being scoffing,
“Yung Venuz u dum smo.” Y.V. Stated,
“I’m guna out gun u an tak a seet on da thron, lol.” Y.V. added,
“U guna eat mi dus wit tht grbige gun, rotfl.” Y.V concluded, pulling out an air horn and blasting it as he ran off into the sunrise, Fish and Steroids confused with the extremely butchered trash talk,
“Well, the sun is rising, and so should I.” Steroids stated, putting his journal away,
“Are you staying to monitor the campsite?” Steroids questioned Fish, Fish nodding,
Steroids looked to Joe,
“How about you? Having another attempt and require assistance?” Steroids questioned, Joe looking to Steroids with a continued expression of intense hatred,
“Let’s face the wasteland together then.” Steroids stated, proceeding off towards the desert, Joe following.
Chapter 25 (Part 1)
Joe seemed to be getting the hang of firing his rusty revolver along with the gimmicks it had, repressing his OCD rather well as Steroids gunned down the equivalent of an army with his twin revolvers he kept who knows where. Joe found himself fascinated to see Steroids doing so well with two revolvers though, they were high caliber and he had little to no trouble with the recoil that would easily throw it out of Joe’s hand if he didn’t clutch his own with both.
It wasn’t long before a big bandit erupted from the wall, Joe immediately going on the defensive and diving for cover, Steroids paying no mind to the threat as he proceeded to unleash a plethora of ammo directly into Big Bandit’s face and eye who couldn’t react and was thrown onto his back in seconds, dead. Joe was amazed by this feat, coming out from his tiny cube of cover,
“How did you do that?” Joe questioned, clearly impressed. Steroids stopped and turned back to Joe,
“Were you troubled by one of these alpha bandits?” He questioned, Joe confused by the new term of trash talk,
“Big Bandit is hard.” Joe replied simply, Steroids chuckling,
“He is no individual, that was simply a bandit with armor, a larger gun, and gigantism. They fail to guard their eye and they are no smarter than the other bandits.” Steroids explained, Joe nodding in reply,
“Well the one I fought was hard.” Joe explained,
“Likely they were in the position for an extended time.” Steroids thought aloud,
“More experience, more difficulty.” Steroids concluded, Joe nodding a bit,
“Rebel didn’t like that one, they killed it really hard.” Joe stated simply, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply,
“Perhaps he was the one that caused her to rebel to begin with.” Steroids thought aloud,
“That is my theory.” Steroids concluded, turning to the void that formed over the remains of the big bandit,
“Let us proceed.” Steroids stated, running towards it, Joe following.
The void was chaotic as always, debris flying around them,
“I never went farther than this, I got hit by a manhole cover.” Joe stated,
“You must protect yourself in here to safely arrive on the other side.” Steroids explained, proceeding to ready his revolvers and shoot away incoming rubble and kill off several rats that came towards them, acting as a living shield for Joe with his massive body which took some small rocks to it from the much larger whole they once were.
“Can you see the exit? You have to be ready for arrival.” Steroids stated,
“Okay.” Joe replied simply, the exit rushing towards them suddenly as they were quickly and forcefully ejected just as hard as they threw themselves in, Steroids hit the ground running and quickly surveyed their area, Joe slamming into Steroids’ back which had no reaction to the mountain of muscle that Steroids was.
Joe and Steroids were enclosed in a genuinely unpleasant area that smelled of soaked fur, stale well water, an abandoned chemical plant, and a hint of long past expired pizza.
“I should explain to you about what I’ve witnessed down here, so that you can be familiarized before you make a mistake.” Steroids began, a moist forceful upheaval heard as slickened green mucus coated rats rushed towards them from around the corner, Steroids snapping to attention and unloading his magnums at the approaching threats, Joe unable to do anything but be revolted by the sound as Steroids took up the majority of the hallway they were in.
Steroids emptied his cylinders and looked back to Joe,
“You have to take care of the source and stun it while I reload.” Steroids stated pulling Joe around him and accidentally scraping Joe’s face and eyes along the clammy walls, earning a panicked response from Joe as he got something in his eyes and he started screaming, flailing out of Steroids’ hand and rushing around the corner, shooting everywhere down the hallway and striking the rat mama a few times directly which acknowledged Joe’s existence quickly and started charging forward with its great maw open while it started gestating another set of babies visibly within at the back of its throat. Joe’s clip was emptied and he was in no condition to reload his revolver, clearly needed as it clicked in his continued panicked trigger pulling. The rat mama however was brought down by Steroids’ delayed cover fire luckily before Joe was consumed with ease.
Joe’s delayed superhuman tears eventually helped him return to normal and he calmed down.
“I understand that that was my fault, but we should avoid panic firing in closed quarters at the very least.” Steroids stated,
“What was that?” Joe questioned suddenly, Steroids smiling a bit in reply,
“They are known as rat mamas, they expel their simple minded young through their mouth to serve as a frontal attack where they then follow up with a charge to consume their enemies.” Steroids explained, Joe silent,
“They have barf babies?” Joe questioned,
“I suppose you could see it that way.” Steroids replied, a bit confused with the oversimplifying, Joe looking to the downed mama in revulsion,
“Eww.” Joe thought aloud simply, proceeding further in and around the rat mama, Steroids struggling to get around it with his size before they entered a larger room,
“There are legends of this sewer containing a great ‘ballguy’ mama.” Steroids stated simply,
“Ballguy?” Joe questioned,
“I don’t understand myself, the others call it that as well.” Steroids replied simply,
“They are filled with gas and venom and explode when shot.” Steroids explained,
“Make sure if you shoot one to made distance, otherwise…” Steroids began, Joe turning a corner and shooting something which exploded, covered in venom over the front half of his body, Steroids having been in cover to avoid it,
“I assume you carry a large amount of medical kits.” Steroids questioned, Joe turning to Steroids still coated with it,
“Where do I get those?” Joe questioned, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply,
“You certainly are new to this…” Steroids thought aloud with amusement,
“And surprisingly resilient to venom, no open wounds still?” Steroids questioned, Joe blinking the venom out of his eyes and looking down to himself,
“Guess not.” Joe replied simply.
Joe washed the venom off himself with the murky water below him, figuring it couldn’t be worse with his cardboard body pretty soaked anyways, They turned another corner to witness a smoking lizard of sorts upright holding a shotgun, Joe shocked,
“So they do flush them down the toilets…” He thought aloud, Steroids chuckling in reply,
“They are alligators, I’m not certain if they follow the myth of being the correct species.” Steroids replied,
“Mythos back from a better day… nostalgic…” Steroids thought aloud, spacing out for a moment, snapped back to attention by Joe firing his revolver off at it and hitting the smoke out of its mouth in reply,
“Smoking is dumb!” Joe exclaimed at it, the alligator heading over with its shotgun as Joe began reloading his four unjammed chambers, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply as he provided backup fire to take out the threat before he come close enough to accurately fire at them.
Steroids and Joe made their way around the sewers, clearing out a dozen rats, a few more ballguys, and three more alligators; still no portal to be found.
“Something is still around here, I don’t know what though.” Steroids stated,
“Stay alert, it could come around the corner at any moment.” Steroids added, Joe nodding,
“I’m gonna win.” Joe replied simply, coming upon a fallen purple bandit.
“Aww, there was a ninja guy and he died down here?” Joe questioned, Steroids looking over and snapping to attention,
“That’s!…” He began, the assassin jumping up with rusty pipe in hand.
Joe was angered by this,
“Hey! You were dead! You can’t be undead!” Joe began, the assassin idling curiously,
“And you were on your face! You can’t just do that without getting stuff in your eyes! You’re cheating!” Joe continued, the assassin confused as it stood there with pipe at the ready to strike,
Chapter 25 (Part 2)
“Joe, that’s an enemy. He strikes with that pipe.” Steroids explained, Joe throwing his hands up in outrage,
“I don’t care! It’s not fair!” Joe continued angrily, the assassin responding to the quick movement by striking the gun out of Joe’s hand and into the wall, effectively disarming him,
“What?! This is dumb!” Joe continued, Steroids going for a shot before the assassin quickly struck again and disarmed Steroids by striking his fingers instead of the gun itself, Steroids growling out in reply and quickly rushing the assassin while he was recovering from the swing, pushing Joe out of the way before he growled out and struck the assassin in the eye to knock it down and steal away its weapon, bringing it up and then down powerfully with a mighty swing that caved in the assassin’s head, the light in its eye extinguishing.
Steroids breathed a bit heavily before dropping the pipe and going to retrieve the weapons, Joe a little concerned and surprised with what happened,
“Why did he attack us?” Joe questioned suddenly,
“Survival.” Steroids replied, collecting his revolvers and checking them over,
“What did we do?” Joe questioned,
“Killed everything he knew, and enough of his kind in our selfish mindless pursuits to give them the incentive to fight back.” Steroids replied simply, picking up Joe’s rusty revolver and looking it over,
“So… they aren’t really bad?” Joe questioned,
“We’re all just survivors, good and evil died with the war.” Steroids replied simply, offering the rusty revolver back,
“Your cylinder is dented, you have three working shots now.” Steroids informed,
“Darn.” Joe replied simply, the void opening.
Chapter 26 (Part 1)
#26
Upon exiting the void with another dull collision, they found themselves in a junkyard. The smell of unclean birds, motor oil, caked on rust and the sound of whirring mechanics and flapping wings perfectly accenting the look and feel of the place.
“I will not make the same error in elaboration before another accident occurs.” Steroids began,
“We must remain aware of our target before they become knowledgeable of our presence.” Steroids explained quickly, hiding away behind a tall pile, Joe following and standing behind him, Steroids picking Joe up with one hand and placing him on his other side behind the cover.
“I have encountered ravens, snipers, giant fire breathing salamanders, and more assassins in this location.” Steroids explained briefly,
“The ravens fly about the scrap piles and can strike at any moment if they notice you. The snipers erect themselves upon large piles and fire after a targeting delay, we are here to neutralize and collect one for my project. The giant salamanders are resilient to gunfire and they attack in a sweeping pattern. Finally you have experienced how assassins attack, some feign death to trick their targets and strike with rusted pipes.” Steroids explained,
“Did you get that all?” He questioned, looking to Joe who was angry again just as he was before,
“I hate those ninjas, they are insulting my work and my special technique.” Joe replied, holding his rusty revolver up,
“I’m going to shoot them.” Joe concluded, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply,
“Be mindful, your weapon sustained damage in the sewersand can only fire three shots now.” Steroids stated simply, proceeding to get up and check his cylinders before snapping them back in and peeking around the corner, Joe running around him and out casually, aiming his gun around sporadically looking for enemies. Steroids rushed out to join him quickly, looking around carefully at the ready for anything.
There was nothing, however.
“Curious.” Steroids thought aloud,
“Clearly somebody was here recently.” Steroids continued,
“Most likely Yung Venus.” Steroids concluded, Joe’s face pruning with anger,
“I hate that guy!” Joe strained out angrily, Steroids chuckling,
“He’s certainly obnoxious.” Steroids replied simply,
“But you have to appreciate his straightforward confidence, simply like his life is at no risk.” Steroids added,
“NO!” Joe replied furiously,
“I’m not going to appreciate anything!” He added childishly, Steroids chuckling again in reply,
“Regardless, I hope he has left something to scavenge. The snipers are rigged to detonate if they are struck down. My theory is that it was a mechanism to ensure the hardware was not stolen or they could not be traced back to their creators.” Steroids thought aloud,
“Yung Venuz… More like… Yung… IDIOT!” Joe continued, Steroids laughing in reply,
“Well said!” Steroids replied, pausing as he saw a red dot on Joe, quickly grabbing him up and heading behind cover,
“There’s still a sniper.” Steroids explained, looking to Joe whose face was indented a bit from the grab and his still wet cardboard, Steroids letting go and saying nothing.
They were behind cover for awhile, Steroids contemplating what to do with the worthy adversary while Joe dried out,
“Are we going to wait until they run out of gas?” Joe questioned suddenly,
“No, they run on batteries powered by solar panels on their hat, I believe.” Steroids replied simply,
“I want to be solar powered by a cool hat.” Joe replied simply,
“You are not mechanical.” Steroids explained,
“I want to be a robot.” Joe replied simply, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply and then sighing as he returned to his thoughts.
He had two filled magnums, but had to retrieve the robot without harming it. Joe was a good distraction, but he didn’t want to cause him harm with the quick and deadly sniper fire. He couldn’t check the footing the sniper was on and he knew the sniper was idling on their location, ready to make quick adjustments required to take either of them down in one shot. He knew he had it easy this time around with Y.V.’s advance and Joe’s assistance in being a mutant fire cracker that took the attention off of him. It was infuriating, he couldn’t think of much else to do than throw Joe into the fray and hope for the best.
He looked over to Joe, finding nobody.
Steroids sighed and got up, assuming the worst as he looked around and heard gunfire from behind the pile, rushing around and finding the source quickly before ducking into cover again closer to the sniper. He didn’t find Joe, but he saw the sniper and realized it was on top of a car. One wrong move and, the car exploded after three shots rang out.
Steroids sighed a bit to himself in frustration, it was Joe, no question. He peeked out from behind the cover to find Joe walking back up to him,
“It blew up.” Joe stated,
“I understand that.” Steroids replied simply,
“I think the sniper blew up too.” Joe added,
“I believe that to be true as well.” Steroids added with an irritated sigh,
“I’m sorry.” Joe concluded simply, Steroids smiling a bit in reply,
“There will be more…” Steroids stated, pausing as he looked to Joe’s side, a robot nearly his size on four legs inspecting Joe’s gun, freezing up in reply, the robot opening its ‘mouth’ to reveal a jagged maw that inched closer to it.
“What are you doing?” Joe questioned, the robot eating both the rusty revolver and Joe’s hand to no response from Joe, the robot whirring a bit internally and burping a bit in conclusion which earned Joe’s attention who looked at it, then to his missing hand and gun,
“Hey, you ate my hand.” He stated casually, pausing,
“You ate my gun!” He stated angrily, the robot beeping in reply and making a content sound, Joe raising his remaining hand to strike it angrily, Steroids grabbing it,
“Wait, he stated that he thanks you for the treat.” Steroids stated,
“I didn’t hear that.” Joe replied simply, glaring at it,
“He’s speaking in code.” Steroids explained,
“Well he should stop that.” Joe replied simply,
“Perhaps I could program it to do so. It seems friendly.” Steroids thought aloud,
“We might have accidentally come across a new solution.” Steroids added,
“What do you call yourself?” Steroids questioned the robot, the robot beeping a bit in reply,
“Robot?” Steroids questioned, Robot making a content sound,
“If you’re certain.” Steroids replied simply, sitting down before it,
“Tell me about what you have done, what you are doing, and why.” Steroids questioned, prepared to listen to a long exhausting tale, Robot beeping a bit before stopping for a pause, but actually concluding his explanation,
“You’re just searching for and eating guns?” Steroids questioned, Robot making a content noise,
“Well. I suppose some of our lives are not so complex in this world.” Steroids stated with a chuckle,
“Can you find material with your sensors?” Steroids questioned curiously, Robot beeping in reply,
“Precious metals only? That will suffice.” Steroids stated in conclusion,
“And are you opposed to modification?” Steroids questioned, Robot silent for a moment, then beeping hesitantly in reply,
“Repairs and mutually agreed programming… That is fair. We will locate material for my inventions then at once in exchange for guns we collect on our journey. Perhaps start funding for use of my void replication machine.” Steroids concluded,
“Speaking of which… Joe will require a replacement because you consumed and digested his own…” Steroids thought aloud, looking to where Joe wasn’t, having wandered off in the conversation,
“I could theorize that he is investigating dead bodies, but I couldn’t depend on several of his variables…” Steroids stated, getting up,
“I don’t suppose you can check for life.” Steroids questioned, Robot making a negative noise,
“Figured I’d ask.” Steroids explained, proceeding off to look around.
Chapter 26 (Part 2)
It wasn’t long before they came across Joe arguing angrily with Y.V. who was in some kind of rocket car near a large pile of junk, Y.V. noticing both Steroids and Robot coming up.
“Yo smo, u dun kno me, u can’t fite me. I’m gon tak da thron an send u selfees of how kool I am in it. But I bet u don’t hav a fone cuz u’re a smo, ha ha rofl lol!” Y.V. exclaimed, blowing his air horn and car horn at the same time before launching off into the sky in his rocket car, growing quieter as he distanced himself.
Joe looked beyond furious about this, but was quickly distracted by the pile of junk moving about as it came to life, three sets of eyes looking to the three of them,
“I have not seen this before.” Steroids stated simply.
Chapter 27
Everything went insane in moments, Steroids bringing Joe and Robot off towards cover once Big Dog started whipping his head around everywhere and spat out chunks of sharp scrap metal from his three giant maws alongside his own volatile fluids.
It was only one square, but it was acceptable cover for the time being as they regrouped on the problem at hand, Joe confused,
“What are we hiding from? He’s just a big confused junkyard dog.” Joe stated,
“Tetanus, and battery acid saliva.” Steroids explained simply,
“He is also feral from the looks of it, he understands these aspects are weaponized and did not care for the awakening.” Steroids added, jolted forward by chunks of rubble resulting from an explosion behind them, grabbing up the two and rushing forward without delay,
Joe glanced over Steroids’ shoulder to see Big Dog spinning like a top and pooping slow moving missiles, one of them about to hit Robot who had its mouth open in anticipation to eat it, Joe bonking it down with his hand to explode behind them just as Steroids turned a corner, avoiding the shrapnel from the explosion. Luckily, this shelter they stood behind was of much greater size than the last.
“You saw where that came from, how did it happen?” Steroids questioned,
“He pooped it out while spinning like a helicopter.” Joe replied simply, Steroids silent and choosing to accept the info as they were in no situation to question it,
“We have to devise a strategy, this is a dire situation and we don’t have much time before it closes the difference.” Steroids stated, Robot starting to chew on something near Joe who was kicking a dead Assassin,
“Wake up idiot! The robot is going to eat your sword!” Joe stated tauntingly, Steroids taking the rusty pipe away from Robot who made a sad noise,
“This might be our only solution.” Steroids stated,
“One of us needs to attempt to knock back the missiles. They are slow moving and no other weapons we possess will likely penetrate its scrap metal core.” Steroids concluded,
“Like sportsball? I love sportsball!” Joe stated, looking back to Steroids,
“I want to be the player and make a lot of points!” Joe added enthusiastically, Steroids chuckling a bit in reply,
“My swing will destroy them on contact, and Robot has no arms and a maw that would consume it. Despite your condition, I think it would be best if you tried. If you fail, at least you will be healed and returned to camp, but not in that order.” Steroids stated simply, Joe nodding,
“I’m gonna be the underdog!” Joe stated, taking the pipe and running off into the clearing dragging it along behind him,
“That is your namesake…” Steroids thought aloud.
Joe stepped up to bat, Big Dog looking over from shaking his head in a craze and turning to face Joe. Joe slung the bar over his shoulder with significant struggle, Big Dog seeming to wind up again for a spin,
“I’m gonna make the team.” Joe stated simply, Big Dog proceeding to spin like a top once again and started pooping missiles everywhere which homed in towards Joe in a relative line, Joe winding up his swing and then following through with it once the missile came close enough, throwing the bar clumbsily which then struck a missile and caused it to detonate; the explosion caused a chain reaction of detonations which followed up to Big Dog who was midway to laying out another, detonating it and following through into Big Dog who then began shaking about and roaring out in confusion before the implosion seemed to kill it, the portal appearing in one of Big Dog’s open maws to confirm the kill.
“Close enough…” Steroids thought aloud, heading out from behind cover with Robot, looking to the portal,
“I’ve never made it father than here, I’ve had no need.” Steroids explained,
“But to go father would be foolish with two unarmed companions. Steroids added,
“For the time being, we will make use of the peace and collect scrap for purification. To collect material required may take weeks, perhaps months.” Steroids concluded, Robot whirring a bit in reply and burping up an iron ingot before Steroids,
“Or perhaps hours, maybe a day.” Steroids concluded with a chuckle.