Most Things ODP

Overview

An attempt at an ODP encyclopaedia, including achievements and the lore that underlies ODP.

Introduction

Below you will find a guide to most things ODP [as of version 475.1.11]
I tend to play the experimental builds so there may be minor differences if you use the regular build. Experimental bits tend to make it to the regular version eventually though.
Please let me know if you feel there are any amendments to be made.

There are some small treats throughout the guide. Enjoy!

1. Items

These are the in-game collectible items. Some are unlockable after particular progress and achievements.

Unlisted items:

• The Backer’s Coinbox, which was a special item unlockable if you helped Kickstart ODP on the lowest tier, was an obtainable item occupying the slot now taken by the Van De Graaf playset. It is unknown whether this is still obtainable or may be patched back in.

1a. Item breakdown

1b. Item breakdown (cont.)

1c. Item breakdown (cont.)

2a. Classes/Lessons

The following are the unlockable and equippable lessons.

2b. Classes/Lessons (cont.)

*The electro-distorter

Achievements related to gaining extra periods:
A Little Something on Your Nose
First Things First
Above the Influence
Grade A Suck-Up
Once More with Feelings
Not Thinking With Portals

3a. Floor Characteristics

For the majority of floors in Edgewood, there are additional characteristics that alter aspects of the floor design. When given the choice of paths through Edgewood, choose carefully…

Bright
Brighter than usual.
“This floor is particularly well lit. Well.. it will be easier for you to see who’s about to eat you.”

Burning
Multiple fires across rooms. No vending machine, just an eternal flame.
We regret to inform you that this floor is on fire.”

Gluttonous
More juice boxes will spawn but there are no vending machines.
“The shrieks and yammering up ahead suggest that the inhabitants have discovered and pillaged one of Edgewood’s secret juice box cabinets.”

Haunted
Furniture will randomly explode into piercing shards.
“There is a sign reading ‘DOOON’T WOOOORY .. NOO Poltergeist on this floor.’ The first three words appear freshly painted.

Landmarked
Guaranteed memory room.
“This floor is of historical significance. Please do not be alarmed by the student archival teams.”

Leaderless
No champion enemies.
“The graffiti on the walls looks more sullen than we would expect. This floor lacks authority figures.”

Papery
Paper flies across the rooms. Vending machine has all slots stocked (irrelevant if all slots already unlocked through counsellor donations).
“It appears this floor suffers from inclement weather. The Edgewood Egalitatian Dispensary Device is thrilled.

Pitch Black
Light only appears in Cordy’s immediate vicinity.
The lights are broken on this floor. The Edgewood Egalitarian Dispensary Devices are frightened and providing discounts.

Power Struggle
More champion enemies. Vending machines more expensive.
“You can’t help but notice that the walls are covered with campaign posters. It seems that there are a lot of potential leaders up ahead.”

Sensitive
Both you and enemies receive greater levels of damage.
“A sign tacked on the wall says: ‘Due to architectural irregularities.. all inhabitants and visitors to this floor are more vulnerable to pain.’ Probably a hoax.”

Too Big
More rooms than normal.
“Due to a miscommunication between student construction volunteers.. this floor is larger than it should be. Those responsible have been reassigned to cellar excavaton duties.”

Too Small
Fewer rooms than normal.
“Due to unexpected absence of several rooms that were here yesterday.. this floor is smaller than expected.”

Underlit
Darker than normal.
“For some reason.. light doesn’t travel very far on this floor. At least none of you will have to look at each other.”

Wealthy
More tokens will spawn but there are no vending machines.
“The mechanical claw marks to your left suggests a skirmish with one of Edgewood’s Egalitarian Dispensary Devices here. Survivors may have scooped up some tokens in the process.”

Well-Stocked
Multiple vending machines may be found.
“A sign to your left reads ‘For the convenience of our students.. this floor houses multiple Edgewood Egalitarian Dispensary Devices.”

[Untitled]
No special characteristics. May only be found in experimental build.

3b. Memory Rooms/Secret Rooms

On any given floor, an archivist will randomly spawn (guaranteed on landmarked floors). These are brown ghostly figures that are located in the centre of a room as you enter. They appear to be taking notes before strolling off in one of the four directions. When the room has been cleared (if filled with enemies), follow the archivist into the next room he walked to and keep doing this until you notice him walk through a wall. Follow him through this wall to enter the secret room. In these rooms you may find furniture, and if you go around the front of these to inspect them they will turn into useful items (tokens, juice boxes, chalk). Or, you may face the archivist himself…

4a. Books/Perks

Books are the rewards for levelling up. After reaching a given level of XP, you are presented with the choice of one of two books. Some are pure upgrades. Some are upgrades with a catch.

4b. Books/Perks (cont).

* KS pack #2
** KS pack #3

5a. Enemies

Broggs

Woundworts

Capulets

5b. Enemies (cont.)

The Gifted

Your Caring Friends

Others

6. Bosses

Every floor has a boss. Some are only encounterable on particular types of floor. Some are only encounterable after progressing to particular chapters. They are given in full below. (Some images courtesy of the wiki).

7a. The Lore of Our Darker Purpose

For those first approaching ODP, the game appears to about a shy girl battling against other students as she works her way up to the higher levels of the Edgewood Home for Lost Children. However, many things occur within the game that indicate that things are not all they seem. The following section is a collection of ideas taken from the forums that hopefully explicate most of what is going on:

Potential spoilers contained hereafter

First of all, Our Darker Purpose is a phrase taken from Shakespeare’s play King Lear, where at one point King Lear himself utters:

“Meantime we shall express our darker purpose.
Give me the map there. Know that we have divided
In three our kingdom: and ’tis our fast intent
To shake all cares and business from our age;
Conferring them on younger strengths, while we
Unburthen’d crawl toward death. Our son of Cornwall,
And you, our no less loving son of Albany,
We have this hour a constant will to publish
Our daughters’ several dowers, that future strife
May be prevented now. The princes, France and Burgundy,
Great rivals in our youngest daughter’s love,
Long in our court have made their amorous sojourn,
And here are to be answer’d. Tell me, my daughters,–
Since now we will divest us both of rule,
Interest of territory, cares of state,–
Which of you shall we say doth love us most?
That we our largest bounty may extend
Where nature doth with merit challenge. Goneril,
Our eldest-born, speak first.”

It is too much of a coincidence that Cordelia, Goneril and Regan – King Lear’s daughters, match up with Cordy and the two other girls, in addition to the game’s absent “Mr. L.”

Furthermore, the phrase Our Darker Purpose appears to pertain to the need to discuss how to propagate a lineage. In King Lear, the King is referring to how to divide up land and fortunes and so pass on his wealth to his daughters. This is the natural way of life, to grow and to propagate one’s line successfully, and Lear is intent on doing so before death, “conferring… on younger strengths, while [he] unburthen’d crawl toward death”. While this does not appear to have immediate relevance to the game, aside from an apparent power struggle for the resources between the three girls that is present in both play and game, taking into account the Shuddering Jim book series can help make the connection more clear.

The ‘Adventures of Shuddering Jim and the Bandit’ are described as Cordy’s favourite series of books. The books detail the escapades of Shuddering Jim, a bumbling detective, and “the bandit”, his arch-nemesis who tends to always succeed in his schemes aside from managing to bump Jim off. Various sections of these books are found within the lore that accompanies the game’s achievements. The full lore of TAoSJatB is contained in the next section of this guide, and can be useful to consider in light of this discussion. Note also some other unmentioned parallels with the game (bosses in particular).

At this point, it is useful to bring in the interpretation of Lonk, who posted this on the ODP forums in February 2014:
“Actually upon reading more of the lore, Jim seems clearly enraged by the Bandit always winning and even getting sympathy and he is noted to use disguises, namely a fake moustache, to get close to the Bandit. At one point Jim mentions how the Bandit gets into everyones head but by the end of this, someone will get into his head and in the final book the scientist is called to hurry to find Jim and use the chemical on him so he rushes to the elevator (another reoccuring theme is Jim having nightmares about an elevator door opening to reveal the Bandit) and from here it says “One of the Bandit’s henchmen, a man with a mustache, was waiting there as well. He seems apprehensive.”

This actually makes me question if this theory is on the right track, that it is indeed Jim’s mind making this stuff up or if Jim is actually the “henchman” who goes on to turn this chemical attack around on the Bandit out of spite for all the times he’s been beaten, forcing the Bandit to relive all of the horrors of his mind and driving him into insanity. Also of note is one of the stories involves Jim being told by a psychic that even though he fears being killed by his enemy, his enemy also has enemies, old ones, and at the “moment of his victory, he will be vulnerable.” There’s no mention of the Bandit’s old enemies other than the kids who tormented him at the orphanage.

… *edit* Okay the thing with Jim using a mustache to disguise himself is mentioned several times which leads me to believe what happens is Jim does exactly such in the final book and learns of the plot against him with the chemical and that the Bandit is waiting on the ground floor for the scientist to come along. I believe Jim takes the syringe from the scientist and gets in the elevator, coming down to the ground floor to meet the Bandit and to basically reverse his reoccuring nightmare by being the one in the elevator when it opens and using the chemical on Bandit, leading to this game being the Bandit’s mind falling apart. In the moment of the Bandit’s apparent plan for a final victory, he becomes vulnerable by underestimating Jim, allowing himself to end up injected with the chemical and causing his old enemies to return in the form of a mental breakdown about Cordy and the others.”
(http://steamcommunity.com/app/262790/discussions/0/558747287390675026/)

To a number of other ODP players, myself included, this interpretation appears the most likely.
So it can be surmised that the game takes place within the Bandit’s head, as he is forced to relive his early childhood, bullied at the orphanage by the girls, the worst of which is the quiet one, and this involves aspects of his interactions with Jim along the way.

The name of the final boss, His Natural Defenses, suggests some form of bodily immune system. Couple this with the fact that Cordy appears to be repeatedly “killed” across playthroughs (whenever you complete chapters), yet respawns and continues, and this suggests that Cordy is in fact the pathogen that is attempting to spread itself throughout the Bandit’s body and mind, finally battling and overrunning the Bandit’s natural defenses. The final image upon completing the game, where the multiple Cordy’s overrun Edgewood, appears to confirm this when taken with the accommpanying text that appears to reflect someone external to the immediate Edgewood context losing their mind “Someone was laughing, in a kind of choking and repetitive way, almost like crying.”

To bring this full circle, returning to King Lear, we might draw the connection that the phrase Our Darker Purpose is all about a natural tendency to propagate, that is present in both play and game. In King Lear, the issue at stake is marrying off the daughters and dividing up land so that a lineage may continue and spread, as is the apparent human desire to do so. In the game, the propagation is that of viral cells injected into the Bandit and manifested as Cordy/Cordy’s. A disease can be argued not to be “evil” even when it destroys a host, as it is simply doing what it is biologically purposed to do. Likewise with behaviours that serve the purpose of safeguarding or propagating genes (consider evolutionary psychology). King Lear, passing on all of his “business” and divvying up the kingdom is simply adhering to his natural purpose, as is Cordy, spreading throughout and conquering Edgewood/the mind of the bandit.

So we may view these processes as nasty or unwelcome, but in either case, they are an imperative, as we are evolutionarily drawn towards doing so. These are the darker purposes we all possess.

Addendum: There are likely other tidbits of lore that may tie these ideas more strongly together, or bring in others, but this appears to account for the main thrust of ODP the game. I would welcome any comments, particularly those from the Dev’s!

7b. Lore Tidbits

In the previous section, the main lore of ODP was presented and speculated about, but here are some further bits that may or may not tie in to the main overarching ideas, but nonetheless occur within the game.

• In the lore for ‘On the Founding’/the ‘Kickstarted’ achievement, there is the line about Edgewood that: “…a few outliers argue it is a science experiment, or credit an external group of benefactors they call the One Thousand Fifty, or suggest the whole thing is a form of purgatory.” About this, Zebra Lord said: “The one-thousand fifty is literally just a reference to the 1050 backers who donated to the kickstarter for the game, hence why the achievement for that particular lore is called “Kickstarted.””
• SeekerAC: “A sudden revelation regarding names: Cordy’s name is abbreviated, unlike the other Lear sisters. Why? Cordy can be short for Cordelia– but it is also short for Cordyceps, a mind-affecting parasite that multiplies and takes over its host! Regarding that final scene of millions of Cordy leaving the school: Cordyceps release their spores after the death of the host… [link] “

Further discussions mainly go on here: [link]

7c. The Adventures of Shuddering Jim and the Bandit

For those interested in the lore of Shuddering Jim and the bandit, the following are the bits of the achievement memories that relate specifically to the book series.

8a. Achievements: Chapter One

Steam achievements have been added! These correspond to the in-game achievements.

List of Chapter One achievements

Chapter One achievement breakdown:

How: Fairly straightforward – complete chapter one and this achievement should pop up.
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How: Just die. Should pop up on your first death.
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How: Once you’ve collected 100 credits from your attempts, go to the Counselor screen on the menu and after you’ve donated 100, it should pop up.
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How: In a single playthrough, pick up the Gourmet Turtle and the Wondering Crab. Quite common items in the game.
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How: In a single regular attack do 100 damage. Easily done after a little while of levelling up and choosing damage improving options.
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How: Frothy is a first level boss. You need to be able to avoid his attacks and finish him off without damage.
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How: SHM is a first level boss. Once you get it down to minimal health, wait until it comes after you and deploy your chalk (R) attack on it to finish it off.
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How: The BoNT is an early boss – (second floor?). Let it spawn 4+ minions and then destroy the main boss.
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8b. Achievements: Chapter One (cont.)

How: The CoY is an early boss – (second floor?). Partway into killing it it will spawn a duplicate called A Second Helping. Kill the boss first.
—

How: Sudsy is an early boss – (second floor?). The glacial spike spawns wherever you stand, so when Sudsy is down to minimal health, try to get above or below it as the spike is about to spawn so that when it does, Sudsy runs into it.
—

How: CoL is an early boss – (second floor?). During the fight it will dim the room except for the area immediately around it. Stay within this area while fighting and you will gain the achievement when the CoL is defeated.
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How: Goneril is the boss of the first chapter and appears when you are about to finish off the Woundwort Fort. Defeat her twice to unlock the achievement.
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How: You need to use a juice box to heal yourself when you are 1 point off your max HP. Can be a little tricky when enemies/enviro damage takes off more than one point. If you let enemies damage you significantly, the cumulative damage should come to an amount where the cumulative healing of the juice boxes will bring you to max HP -1, whereupon you can use another juice box to heal the final hitpoint and get the achievement.
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How: See the third achievement. Donate 500 credits to get this.
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How: Die over and over. Not sure how many deaths this takes to pop up – 5, 10? Can anyone confirm?
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How: As the text implies – collect 35 items over multiple playthroughs.
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8c. Achievements: Chapter Two

List of Chapter Two achievements

Chapter Two achievement breakdown:

How: Fairly straightforward – complete chapter two and this achievement should pop up.
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How: On the menu screen, go to the Guidance Counselor, and cumulatively hand over 1500 credits.
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How: Pick up 40 tokens on a single run. When you level up, if you opt for books that increase the chances of coin spawns/drops, you’ll get this fairly quickly.
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How: Archivists are the ghosts that appear at random on floors. There is a lesson that increases the chances of archivists appearing. When one appears, follow him and eventually he will stop going through doors and walk through a wall. Go through the wall into the archivist’s room. There is a chance that the archivist will be here and you will need to fight him in order to gain the treasure of the room.
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How: The Broken Mirror and Trapstem Rose are items you will soon come across in playthroughs. The BM is a useable (E) item, so bear in mind to hold on to this one until you gain the rose.
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How: The OO spawns trash cans periodically. Kill all other enemies that spawn but keep these alive and when you have five, finish the OO off.
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How: The FF will periodically throw you to the bottom of the screen and mazes. Get through these and hit the FF before the FF spawns another maze and you will get the achievement upon beating the boss.
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8d. Achievements: Chapter Two (cont.)

How: Tricky, but if you have enough critical damage powerups and possibly the book about extra boss damage, you can just keep hitting the top-middle building and when Goneril emerges, leave the building and defeat her.
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How: Stay close to the King boss and try to hammer his health down before 75 seconds elapse.
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How: The Timekeeper will periodically spawn bubbles that speed up time when in them. Don’t get caught in one of these if you want the achievement. They only really spawn in fixed places, so try standing diagonally when possible to avoid these perhaps.
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How: Like the Frothy acheivement, avoid taking any damage.
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How: Across multiple playthroughs, get as far and beat Regan.
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How: Another achievement for possessing two items. Neither are usable (E) items, but bear in mind that Fragile Roly Poly will disappear after enough damage.
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How: Chalk and juice boxes are consumables, so just carry a minimum of 10 between these in a single run.
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How: At this point, the Guidance Counselor is becoming a pretty rich skeleton. Give it a cumulative total of 5k credits to unlock this achievement and the item.
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How: Some floors will be labelled as Sensitive. Pick this while using an unlocked and equipped Severity lesson and when you complete the floor you will be rewarded with the achievement.

8e. Achievements: Chapter Three

List of Chapter Three achievements

How: Fairly straightforward – complete chapter three and this achievement should pop up.
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How: Cats are rare monsters that randomly spawn in rooms with no other monsters save a dog that disappears when the cat disappears. Some runs you won’t run into cats. An even rarer thing is to bump into a cat that is a champion cat. When you do, destroy it.
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How: Pretty tempting to void, but avoid interacting with any vending machines until you beat Regan. Then spend away!
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How: You can see your tallied stats for defeating enemies on the stats screen off the main menu, but you should quickly get up to 500 enemies on your playthroughs.
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How: The Virtuoso periodically spews out musical notes that confuse you by reversing your controls. Get it down to minimal health, wait to be affected by a note, and defeat it to get this achievement.
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How: Regardless of your total number of juice boxes, make sure you stock up to max before you enter her room. Avoid the temptation to heal while fighting her and you will get the achievement upon her defeat.
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8f. Achievements: Chapter Three (cont.)

How: The small birds come about whenever you hit an egg, so avoid these where possible and attack The Winged Overseer, but when it nears defeat, hatch at least 10 eggs before defeating it.
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How: A Leafy Oversight regularly spawns spores that travel horizontally across the screen. Usually these eventually burrow down to turn into attacking plants, but at some stage while attacking it, it will recall the spores. They turn a deeper green and begin moving back towards ALO. Allow six to return before finishing it off.
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How: The Brick Pile collapses periodically, shooting out mini piles. When these flash they eventually turn into multiple blobs. Stay near the fallen main pile and destroy the blobs before they get back to TBP and defeat it to get this acheivement.
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How: Get Fenwick down to minimal health then bash each of the “patients”, possibly in different areas of the room so Fenwick has further to travel, before attacking Fenwick. He is vulnerable when treating, so knock as many as you can out before attacking him when he tends to a fourth or fifth floored patient.
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How: After a period of time attacking Dr. Bloodfather, he will make the screen go red. At this time, you lose one health per couple of seconds. Get him down to minimal health and allow your health to trickle down, being careful about getting hit by bats that could take off significant amounts drawing you below 0. When you are at 10 health points, finish him off.
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How: The Administrator is the end boss of chapter three. Defeat it four times for the achievement.
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How: Like the Wrecking Ball achievement, you’ll get this fairly quickly over the course of your playthroughs.
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How: This is the final donation total required by the Guidance Counselor. You won’t be able to donate any more even if you wanted to.
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How: Basic attacks are the arrow key attacks. I can’t recall how I got this, but it popped up quite quickly on plays so you will no doubt get this as a matter of course.
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How: Hard Mode is accessible via the relevant class/lesson and this achievement requires beating His Natural Defenses with this equipped.
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8g. Achievements: Chapter Four

List of Chapter Four achievements

Chapter Four achievement breakdown:

How: Fairly straightforward – complete chapter four and this achievement should pop up.
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How: Once you beat both Goneril and Regan, their weapons will start appearing as collectible items. Both are usable (E) items, so you will have to drop one to pick up the other. As far as I am aware, this does not need to be done in a single playthrough.
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How: Fairly tricky to force yourself to avoid the spacebar, but this achievement can be made more accessible by opting for speed boosting achievements and level up books.
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How: Can be tricky to rack up 80 tokens. Pick the items and level up books that boost token drop rates.
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How: If you have the class/lesson enabled that causes the Archivist to appear more frequently, you will soon get all the lore. Otherwise you’ll get it slowly.
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How: Pretty hard not to get this achievement when fighting ABD as the Frosty Doubles are often deployed by the boss.
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How: To get this achievement you need to avoid any attacks on Better Cordy, including damage caused by the Trapstem Roses and the fire from the Matchsticks. Just keep moving and let BC get hit by the green fire. She’ll use 3 juice boxes to heal, or 5 if you have hard mode enabled.
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8h. Achievements: Chapter Four (cont.)

How: This is a dangerous achievement. If the Imaginaries get you down to 0 move speed you are finished. This is also a permanent effect so the rest of the game can be a challenge if you go for this. Best to avoid the green fire and get The Imaginaries down to minimal health before getting hit next to the flashing statue you need to hit to finish it off when you’re down to less than 50 (C to check).
Update: It looks like this achievement/lore has been removed.
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How: When the Administrator disappears, his portals will engage and the one he is hiding within will spew papers from within it. Each time you hit a portal which does not have papers spewing, you will hear a buzz and a minion will spawn. This will occur once for each portal. Do this thirteen times (multiple portal sessions) and you will get the achievement when you beat The Administrator.
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How: In the final phase of fighting His Natural Defenses, the crab will start spawning enemies. This is when it is down to only a bit of health remaining. The enemies despawn after a time, so hit them hard and count to 21 kills before finishing off the space crab.
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How: Beat the crab five times cumulatively on normal or hard mode to unlock this achievement.
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How: This is an achievement for when you are fairly confident about how to beat bosses quickly and have useful lessons/classes unlocked and enough periods to equip them. Don’t spend too much time exploring entire floors once you encounter the boss door, and bear in mind that many vending machines are located in the small rooms that tend to be connected to the room that connects to the boss. This should save you a bit of time whilst still allowing some refuelling/item collecting.
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How: Fairly tough one, but recall there are books that enable you to regain health with token pickups. Also bear in mind there is a class/lesson that enables you to start with a non-replenishable 777 health, which may be your best bet at getting this.
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How: See ‘The Speed Test’. Do this, but with the Hard Mode lesson/class equipped.
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How: You have to beat the game 10 times in a row. This is a pain. No deaths. No restarts. You can follow your win streak on the stats screen off the main menu.
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How: Complete every other achievement.
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9a. Furniture conversations

In some rooms the furniture speaks. Sometimes to itself, sometimes to other bits of furniture. Here are the conversations in case you missed them, ordered by type of furniture.

A. Beds

Strange week.
Indeed.. sir.
More disembodied living arms than usual.
Quite more.. sir.
How curious.

The potatoes on 3 were yelling again. 
Indeed.. sir.
I could hardly sleep. Potatoes. I say.
One does sympathize.. sir.
Those tubers are barbarians with roots.

Alternative theories exist.
Go on.
It is possible that the Administrators are simply administrators.
Or…
They may be manifestations of rather more sinister forces.
Indeed.
Only one of those theories explains the void portals opening upstairs.

So.. the Administrators have taken a liking to certain students?
The gifted ones.. sir. 
And they tend to stay on the upper floors?
Indeed.. sir. 
Perhaps that’s a good thing. 
Indeed.. sir. 

Er…
Yes sir?
Has that thing come back?
The thing that lives under you.. sir? 
Yes.
With the teeth sticking up from the lower jaw?
No.  The other one.  Spikes for hands.. you know.
Ah. No sir.

I say.. it would be kind to give that student advice.
The one over there.. sir?
Quite.  That one exactly. 
Indeed.  I will tell her it is recommended…
…
…to avoid projectiles.
Oh.  Jolly good.

The administrators are up to something. Beyond administrating I mean.
They have a… More Opaque Ambition. Sir.
Not exactly. More evil than that.
They have a… Crueler Motivation. Sir.
No not that either. Too direct.
The have a… More Nefarious Intent. Sir.
Closer. Clunky though.
They have a… Gloomier Desire. Sir.
No the last one was better. But More Nefarious is too many words.
Would Sir prefer the word Nefariouser?
Yes. Quite. This game shall be called Their Nefariouser Intent.
Very good. Sir.

Great scott. we saw that girl before!
Yes sir.
Several times!
Yes sir.
I thought she was dead.
Yes sir. Crushed by several globes as I recall. Then later from electricity.
Odd. She’s back again. The same one?
No sir. Yes sir. It’s rather philosophical sir.

I wonder. Were things better before the adults left?
I cannot remember sir.
Me either. Concerning.
Recollection is a dubious art sir.
They were here. Correct? It wasn’t always like this.
One cannot say sir.

I do wish sometimes for new blankets.
Yes sir.
It’s just boring. The same color. All the time.
Yes sir.
That’s kind of you. But you wouldn’t understand.

So tell me about your theory again.
The broken clock theory sir. It states that Edgewood has always been like this.
No teachers or anything?
Yes sir. The students only need to believe that the teachers were once here.
Why?
Because they need to believe they control the school sir.
And why is that?
They need to believe that they remain here by choice sir.

That girl. She looks rather disheveled.
Yes sir. Inappropriately dressed.
Quite unlikeable.
I would not go so far sir.
Oh relax old bean. She can’t hear you.
Very well sir. She carries a inauspicious disposition about her. Sir.

B. Sacks

Text
Hear ye!  Hear ye!
?
The potatoes in THIS sack…
?
…by popular vote.. per our laws…
?
…declare war on the potatoes in THAT sack!
No!  To arms! To arms!
…
We can’t really move.. can we?

We will not be cooked!
No!
We will not be chopped!
No!
We will not be baked or fried or diced!
No!
From here on.. this is a game primarily about potatoes!

We’ve been hearing bad things about the stew room.
Where everyone carries the old stew?
Yeah…
How bad could it possible be?

You guys hear about the whole freezer room detention thing?
What about it?
Apparently the door’s locked now…
We thought it was always locked.
Yeah.. but now it’s locked from the inside.
…
Well.. hopefully it’ll work itself out.

Heads up.
Yes?
Our sack had another revolution.
Really?
Yup. We are now a potato theocracy.
Ok…
Want to switch too?
No.. I think we’re happy with despotism.
That’s fine.  Also.. we executed your ambassador.

We heard Reagan got in trouble.
Really?
She let a few things in that were supposed to stay outside.
Like… birds?
We think ‘outside’ has a more existential meaning in this case.

You ever think it’s odd how fireballs just bounce right off us?
Yeah we’ve noticed that too.
Lightning too. 
Yup.
Some pretty impressive burlap in these sacks.

What is the greatest root to grace the soil?
The potato!
What starch is the most satisfying?
The potato!
What rules the kitchens of Edgewood?
The potato!

…T …A …T …O
Is that it?
…E?
Wrong.  You should have stopped.

Ok.. 3… 2… 1…
Can’t wait!
THE DARK FIRE WILL NOT AVAIL YOU!
Wow!
When you all say it together.. it sounds just like him!

Therefore.. send not for whom the Tuber sprouts.
It grows for thee.. and all spuds and vines.
Seriously?  Another talent show?
That was beautiful Natasha.
Next up is Frankel.. who’s written a song about soil acidity.

Don’t worry about us.
Just a sack of potatoes.
Each with our own feelings… aspirations…
…our own potato dreams. 
That’s fine though.. you look busy.

Um.. excuse me.
Would you mind sticking around here for a bit?
Yes.. we’d like you to mediate a dispute we’re having.
They’re claiming that one of the potatoes in our sack…
…belongs in their sack. 
If you have a few weeks to hear us out.. it’d mean a lot.
Yeah.. we’ll probably get started next Wednesday.
Thank you!
Thank you!

Hey! I noticed you ignoring us.
Probably assumed we’re fixed.  Harmless.
Probably thought we were a simple starch.. huh?
Know what family the potato’s from?
Let her guess.
Solanaceae.  Nightshade.
Yup.
Sounds pretty cool.  Pretty dangerous.
Now you walk away and think on that.

C. Desks

Ready. I guess.
I spy something… grey!
Grey?
Yup.
You’re serious…
Yes.
Is it the wall?
No.
Is it the floorboards?
Well… it’s a floorboard… but which one?
I hate this place.
Well come on. Guess.

This reminds me of that game…
The one in the basement with all those scary creatures?
Maybe…
It’s called —
Wait no — the one where you have to find the carrots and rabbits and stuff.
Oh yeah you mean —
Don’t say it! We could get sued.
Really?
Maybe. I dunno. I should have paid more attention in law school.
Law school? God you’re weird…

You ever feel like you’re being watched?
You mean by that girl over there?
No like by some omnipotent awesome sentient being with total control over us.
Like god?
Well sort of… like if god was spilling Doritos on a keyboard right now.

Hey there…
?
It’s ok… lean a little closer to the computer…
?
Now repeat after me… ‘In the name of Beelzebub…
Oh cool — you’re gonna do the scary ‘Desk comes through the screen trick!’
YOU RUINED IT!

I wish I was a spider desk.
Really? They can die. And we’re invulnerable.
But they’re brave! Better to die on your desk-feet than live on your… uh —
Yeah…

Hey.
Bonjour.
Oh no. A foreign exchange desk!
Ca va?
I wish I spoke French…
Je m’appelle Nicolas.
Oh god… Awkward awkward awkward…

Swing swing swing the spinning step…
…you wear those shooooes and I will wear that dress.
God we’re awesome.
I’ll bet we’re the first voice-over.

Hey what’s your name?
Ferdinand.
Oh that’s cool. Mine is Krass-skull. Conqueror of Legions and Eater of Limbs.
….
I’m pretty sure I’m the final boss.
….
This is just like foreshadowing. I’ll be back

I’m just a lowly desk right now.
So?
But I want to be a teacher’s desk someday…
Totally!
Maybe I could even be in a faculty lounge… or an office!
You’ve got this. Keep your head up!
Yeah!
Network. Stay focused. Dress for the job you want.

Q is for Quinn — killed in a quarrel…
Almost there!
R is for Russell — who took too many risks…
Hmm don’t know about that one.
S is for Sandy — who got stuck in a sack.
You used that one last time. Ok my turn.
Give me a moment to rest.

9b. Furniture conversations (cont.)

But the young desk didn’t listen.. and went back into the storage closet…
Oh no…
And the other desks heard a strange cracking sound…
Oh no…
And in the morning… all they found… was some KINDLING!
Aaaaagghhh!! That was the scariest story I’ve ever heard!

Favorite student?
Yes.
Hard to say. Tall Nicolas was pretty nice. Never spilled. Never drew on me.
That’s good. What happened to him?
He got baked in a pie during that whole thing with the demon and the chef.

Whoever’s playing right now is really good.
Playing? Playing what?
The player. They’re confident.. great timing… making good tactical decisions…
I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Me either. I just say stuff randomly. I’m a poet.

You ever eat a textbook?
What?
You know. Like someone stored a textbook in your compartment and you ate it?
That would go against everything I stand for!
…
Ok. Once.

Can’t anyone in this stupid school aim?
I hear you.
If I get hit by one more projectile I really will get mad.
Yup. Me too.
I just wish people would be considerate. We all have to share this space.

Greatest fear? That’s a tough one.
Take your time.
It’s not termites or fire or axes or anything like that.
Ok.
My greatest fear is… probably getting pulled apart by giant plants.
That seems unlikely.
I dunno. This is a weird place.

Do you ever dream?
Yeah. Sometimes I dream about a room with infinite rows of desks in all directions.
…
And the rows are perfect. Every desk in its proper place.
…
Except then I notice everyone’s creaking with fear. And I’m trying to figure out why…
Hey look I actually wanted to talk about MY dream.

You know I once fell down a flight of stairs?
Yes. You tell this story all the time.
Well look I can’t help being a desk celebrity.
Falling down a flight of stairs doesn’t make you a desk celebrity.
Yeah. Alright. What’ve you done?
…
Sat in a room while people put things on top you?
…
Yeah that’s what I thought.

Goneril and Reagan were friends once?
That’s what I heard.
Hard to believe after that thing in the library yesterday.
I know.  Now it’s all lightning bolts and flying hammers.

D. Terrace

My roots are damaging the building.
My thorns cut that student yesterday.
My pollen gets all over the windows.
We ruin everything.
Everything.
It makes me sad.

There’s a girl over there.
Can we surrender to her?
Hey! We surrender!
All the plants surrender!
Please don’t hurt us.

Is it true that Goneril’s dead?
She’ll come back.
Yeah…
Everyone comes back.
Her memory lives on.

Ouch.
What’s wrong?
I keep getting caught on my own thorns.
Oh.
We’re not very well evolved are we?

This climate is great for growing.
Yes.
Damp air. Reasonable soil.
Yes.
And this is still the best I can do.
Me too.
We’re under-achieving plants.

That’s the girl who was friends with Regan.
Shhh!
Oh uh — I mean friends with Goneril.
Shhh! Shhh! They’re not friends anymore.
Arg I am so bad with politics.

I worry about that brick pile sometimes.
The brick pile that makes all those scraping noises?
Yes.
The one that dances around at night?
Yes.
The one that hurls its bricks at the building?
Yes.
Everyone’s worried about the brick pile!

The potatoes grow and then the students eat the potatoes.
…
And when they die they become fertilizer.
…
And we eat fertilizer and we make thorns..
…
And thorns last forever and everyone hates them.
So your point is that we ruin the circle of life.
Yes.

I wish I’d had a better upbringing.
I agree. If I had been raked and watered…
…tended and gardened…
…maybe I’d be a nice plant. With flowers.
Like that gigantic one that shoots spores and thorns?
Well.. not as angry.

We really hope that you get to the root of the problem…
But please don’t tell anyone we said that.
You’ve really grown on us…
But we do need to hedge our bets.
Uh oh she looks annoyed…
Please don’t leaf us!

Why bother going up?
It’s probably scary up there.
You could pretend that you’re a plant. Like us.
Try to look a little spikier.

You think we’d get more light out here.
I know. It’s always night-time.
We plants notice these things.
The environment is very important to us.

So what’s your greatest fear?
Greatest fear?
Yes.
Probably getting trampled by living desk creatures.
Yes. Mine too.

Please don’t hurt us.
Everyone here is so scary.
Except us plants.
All of us are really nice.
Well… except some of us shoot spikes.
But the rest of us are great.
Except the bramble.
And the giant one that ate all those students.
And the spores that it summons.
The rest of the rest of us are great though.

Some of these students believe Edgewood is a school.
But it is really a pot.
It allows you to survive… in a fashion…
…but it also contains you.
Oh stop bothering her.
You think everything is a pot.
No. Some things are vases.

The bramble isn’t so bad.
The bramble is often friendly.
Except when it gets spikey.
Every few seconds.

E. Books

In summary… I believe this is all imagined.
The desks that walk?
Yes.
The children hurling globes?
Yes.
Those terrifying machines?
Yes.
The floating chandelier?
Yes.
The hawk with a skull for a head?
No.
Really?
Obviously yes.

One rarely sees you at this altitude.
My learned colleague meant to say elevation.
No your learned colleague most certainly did not.
Of course. Altitude. Are we in an airship?
And you prefer to measure buildings against sea level.
It’s a preferable analogy.
Yes. Were this school a mountain… all would agree.

Is it worrisome that no one ever comes out of the doctor’s office?
One of those burlap sack creatures emerged a few weeks ago.
So we’re in agreement that it is worrisome.
Deeply.

If She Believes in Herself She Can Succeed.
You are a self help book?
I Am Everything That I Need To Be.
That’s astonishing.
The Best Days Are The Surprising Ones.
It’s just not what one would expect from this particular library.
With Preparation You Can Be Ready For Anything.

That girl has surpassed every challenge.
She is a radiant resident.
Because she provides light?
She is a scuffling scholar.
That implies melee which she’s not. And it’s diminutive.
She is a careful Cordy.
Now you’re not even trying.

It seems odd that the floors get larger the higher one goes.
….
It suggests that the building is an inverted pyramid.
…
But it’s depicted as a tower.
Has anyone ever told you that you are a fascinating conversationalist?
No.
Why do you think that might be?

good day
You appear to be lacking your syntax.
no i am subversive
Yes I agree you are beneath verse.
no your system is too constrained
By my system… you refer to a fairly universal system.
all your punctuation is going to come crashing down on you
Are you ill? I can go find some basic grammar texts.
i am the voice of your doom

The administrators consider this library the pride of the school.
It was charitable of them to fill it with museum exhibits.
I concur.
If only those skeleton birds weren’t possessed.
If only they didn’t eat paper.
It does appear to be a curatorial oversight.

Prescriptivists say language is a system of rules to be followed.
So you’ve said.
Descriptivists say language is just whatever people are saying.
Again… you’ve mentioned this several times.
And they are at war.
Yes. You’ve said that.
…
…
I still don’t think this explains the mouths coming out of the floor.

HELP
Are you unwell?
I’VE BEEN VANDALIZED
No!
SOMEONE REPLACED ALL MY LETTERS WITH CAPITALS
How dastardly!
I KNOW
…
…
How long did that take? Days?
That is a fairly dedicated vandal.

We appear to be unsorted.
And would be most gratified if you would sort us.
And return us to the appropriate shelves.
Your purpose is actually to sort this library.
That is indeed the big secret of Edgewood.
There is no need to continue.

Come stay and sample our pages.
We are bound to serve.
Especially as you are n

10. Extra

Kickstarter
Our Darker Purpose was created following a successful Kickstarter campaign (https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1750899614/our-darker-purpose-0). Depending on how much you plumped for determined the reward given. Here are the tiers that specifically alter the in-game content:

• KS pack one: Adds the Backer’s Coinbox (collectible item) – +45 tokens.
• KS pack two: Enables the book that was voted to be included in the game: “The Coin Return in the Rye”.
• KS pack three: Enables the books that were runner-ups in the voting: “The Grape Juices of Wrath” and “Cordy and the Chalk Factory”
• KS pack four: Upgraded to receive KS pack five rewards.
• KS pack five: Unlocks the lessons ‘Being Scared’, ‘Pre-Combuster’ and ‘Power’.

Code
For those who read the guide this far, here’s a treat, my KS backer code:
p298537m
Some text I received that accompanies this: “To activate the KS code: Launch the game. Once you’re in the start menu, type in the code (case sensitive). If it works you should see a small message appear on the lower right. Remember that unlocking something does that mean you will have it automatically when you start each game – it just means the content will be available to collect within the game.”
I figure enough time has passed that others that also helped to kickstart the game won’t mind me sharing this. It’s only the level one pack after all.

Save file
A final further thing: A save file. I completed the game and unlocked everything available at the time. Also, I’ve been playing since a very early build when the period system was wonky, so you’ll see what I mean when you open the period menu. Enjoy the benefits there if you like, but if you do plan on trying it, backup your own save files first 🙂
In Windows, you will find the default save file location at:
C:Users[username]AppDataLocalOurDarkerPurpose
Save file[s000.tinyupload.com]