Overview
A knockoff version of the widely popular and well recognized beginner and veteran-friendly guide on Rosk of Roin 2, featuring masterful artwork created in the darkest depths of Microsoft Paint.(Note: Idea obviously isn’t mine. The real thing is here: https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2005030972 )
Welcome!
Meet the crew of the UES Safe Travels, our latest pioneers in attempting to reach a particular death planet. You probably know what I’m talking about. If not, then you will be provided with a brief description of each of these idiots, so you may decide which one to choose yourself!
Again, this guide is a copy of an existing guide. So this is by no means mine.
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Commondo
Commondo
Shooty boye
Real name: Rambo (Legally changed)
– Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Pew Energy blast SFX x1000
– Brought 9mm to fight an entire planet
– Claims to have beaten every Dark Souls hitless, rolling is part of DNA
– Prefers not to say that he used cheat engine while doing it
– Rumored to be an actual dwarf
– Slipped hopoo a twenty to make his alt skin more than just a recolor
– Religiously watches Rambo on a daily basis
– Constantly asked to wield his guns like a gangsta
– Everybody gangsta until the shooty boye acquires a shotgun
– Has a THICCer outline compared to the others because some moron used a brush instead of a pencil
– Number of attempted robberies at gunpoint: 7
– Not american
– Number of mexican standoffs participated in: 4
– Doesn’t know how to spell “Iguana”
Hontrass
Hontrass
Speedy grill
Real name: Belle Delphine
– Arrows about as effective as a nerf gun
– Thunder thighs
– Probably starred in porn before but won’t admit it
– Largest number of r34 posts
– Where does she hide that glaive tho
– Alt skin is a recolor but luckily with a good color scheme
– Constantly simped on by creepy strangers
– Got cancelled because she has a bf
– Regularly uses TikTok
– About as squishy as her glutes
WALL-E
WALL-E MUL-T
Switchy boye
Real name: Chad Thundercock
(Sentient Machinery is legally allowed to name itself)
– This is the ideal robit body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like
– Commondo showed him Rambo once, causing him to later change his nail dispenser into a DIY minigun
– Walking storage facility. Just don’t open the homework compartment
– Idolizes a blender
– Worst alt skin in the game, default objectively looks better
– Ignores it like the chad that he is
– Superior artificial intellect. Effectively impossible to insult or offend
– Press shift for Tokyo Drift
– Oh hey that rhymed
– Knows how to spell “Iguana”
– Right arm is purely for fistbumping purposes
– Number of fistbumps with commondo: 0 (commondo doesn’t wash his hands)
Enginoor
Enginoor
Immortal boye
Real name: Blorgnargth, consumer of reality
– Solves practical problems
– Doesn’t use gun
– Fungus
– Lots of fungus
– ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that’s a lot of fungus
– Pretty sure he’s secretly just a sentient fungal colony
– Scratch that, he’s just the leading figure in the development of genetically engineered slime girls (on a fungal basis)
– Partook in the creation of MUL-T
– Not really, he was just the ideas guy
– Attached limbs to a blender once for some reason
– Legs don’t work like they used to before due to overusage of hover booster instead of actually sprinting or jogging
– Can become god for 15 seconds at a time
– Thought it was a good idea to attach legs to mines and teach them how to walk
– Now wanted in several countries for committing war crimes
– Was allowed to fake his death and change identities if he continued to make progress on slime girl waifus
– Restarted the universe so he could avoid faking his death. Really likes his name
Artifister
Artificer
Floaty grill
– Actually thiccer thighs than huntress
– Not popular enough for people to notice that
– Has an OnlyFans
– Starter ability kit about as fun as ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ a blender
– Unless you’re MUL-T
– Close cousin of Dr. Robotnik, more commonly known as Eggman.
– Flamethrower, or launching yourself out of the stratosphere?
– Of course the latter, you goof
– I must go. my people need me
– Jetpack about as effective at stopping a large fall as an umbrella
– Number of exclusive OnlyFans ass and thigh pics: 518
Morcenory
Morcenory
Sword boye
Real name: Сunt with legs
– Perpetually on cocaine
– Watched every chinese cartoon in the multiverse
– Energy katana stolen from some kid’s birthday party at a chuck-e-cheese
– *autistic screeching*
– Carries 40 quintillion backup mags despite not even having a gun
– Backup mags allow him to become the last Airbender
– No clue how
– Periodically catches fire
– Wanted for (blinding) assault in 17 states
– Alt skin is really good but turns him blind
– A small price to pay for fashion
– Not phased by Hontrass or Artificer’s assets. Only loyal to 2D women
– Still jerks it to 2D fanart of them
– Birthday party was for a dev’s kid, so they nerfed him to oblivion in 1.0 as payback
– Won’t shut the ♥♥♥♥ up about how much he loves japanese culture and history. Doesn’t even know what a youkai or a torii is
– Pre-ordered Assassin’s Creed CCLXXVIII: Space Patrol (Collector’s Edition)
– Constantly tells others to go obliterate themselves from existence
– Steals others’ items for breakfast
– Does not require a blender. Power of autism enables to chew any solid object into pure juice with only his teeth before swallowing
REX
REX
Plant boye
Real name: Rex
– Too shy to sprint above ground
– Yeet people into pits
– Yeet himself into pits
– What do you mean you can’t outheal a titan laser just because your basic attack has healing and you can weaken enemies? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pathetic.
– Wholesome boi
– Attempted to have intercourse with a bush
– Suffers from mild seizures
– Has a really cool hairstyle
– Was convinced by MUL-T to ♥♥♥♥ a blender once. Discovered he does not enjoy same-species intercourse, prefers plantlife
Loadur
Loadur
Punchy grill
Real name: Angelina Joestar
– Older cousin of One Punch Man (Woah this joke is so original huh)
– Who needs to do exercise or work out when you can just borrow the exoskeleton from your job?
– Weighs several tons, but still fast as ♥♥♥♥
– Grappling hook makes everyone around her jealous
– Morcenory claims she stole the melee role from him, what a ♥♥♥♥ lmao
– Sporty tomboy waifu
– Will chokeslam you as a greeting
– Obliterated a small pigeon once by simply staring at it
– Doesn’t show off her thighs, has womanly pride.
– Can still crush your skull with them
– Still not allowed to use the blender after the first time she gripped it too hard and crushed it. Crew had to order a replacement.
Ucrid
Ucrid
Toxic boye
Real name: Donald
– Spits ♥♥♥♥
– Swipes claws at sh♥t
– Sh♥ts sh♥t after leaping
– Not allowed to sit on the couch but sits (and sh♥ts) there anyway
– WILL sh♥t in your cereal
– Adopted by crew after being found in an eldritch void
– Doesn’t really mind
– Attention deprived
– Being treated like a dog equals free snacks and attention
– Hates being called a furry
– Is a scalie
– Virgin for life, ♥♥♥♥ too large to insert into any lemurian
– Number of blenders confused for litter boxes: 1
Captin
Captin
Shotgun dad
Real name: Scrooge McDuck
– Is OLD and STINKY
– Watches way too many detective shows
– Has a really cool helmet with a HUD specifically for watching netflix
– Spent all his retirement money on his outfit and a prosthetic shotgun arm
– Really likes Devil May Cry 5, still uses Nero’s jacket since that one time he cosplayed as him
– I mean, even his alt skin has the same color scheme as Nero’s alt skin
– Calls in local pigeons to crap on enemies to cause mild discomfort
– Clearly because all pigeons are government-controlled drones, duh
– Despite being the leader, is a submissive little ♥♥♥♥♥ that heals others with a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ little beacon
– Practically useless outside of normal stages (Pigeons don’t exist in eldritch voids, yo.)
– Ol’ little legs are the only way to move. At least he stays in shape unlike Enginoor.
– Wears a hat on top of a helmet due to insecurities about receding hairline
– Is in constant debt due to ordering highly technologically advanced pigeon ass beacons over and over
– One of the beacons allows him to become H a c k e r m a n
– Has a drinking problem
– Giantess fetish, periodically hallucinates pigeons being a large ship to “store” his “cargo” in
– Secretly Bandit in disguise, still pissed that he was left 99% finished in the game files.
– Uses his malfunctioning phone charger as a secondary weapon, useful for causing additional mild discomfort to enemies.
– Still will not forgive the crew for stealing his blender and using it for weird ♥♥♥♥
– Oh yeah i forgot to mention his drinking problem refers to fruit juice, not alcoholic beverages
End
Congrat! You have reached the end of this stupid off-brand guide, which is a copy of this guide here
[link]
Hope you now know which survivur you wish to play as! If not, I hope you at least had some laughs or something, idk.