Overview
Want those clowns? I got dem clowns…
Intro
So with the introduction of the Pier of Pain this summer, they’ve added something similar to the Z.E.D. canisters from 2012’s winter event. This time though, they’re in the shape of everyone’s favorite clown, Pukey. The catch though, is that these are on a much larger map, and there’s 50 of them… So you might ask, “wtf dudebro, 50 little clowns on top of an army of zeds? gtfo! they’re at least out in plain sight rite?!111?”
The answer, simply, is no.
They’ve placed these 50 little buggers in some the most scumbag places they could find. Which is where we come in, we’ve found all 50 of them and are giving you the gift of this little guide to catalogue their locations, so you can find them before they disappear forever, or something…
Please note: People are saying this cannot be done is a solo or beginner game, I myself did it solo to obtain the achievement, but I cannot guaruntee the same will work for you. If it fails to pop up when you shoot the 50th doll, and you reallllly want to get it on solo, try verifying the game’s cache. If that doesn’t work, go into the game’s folder and delete the .ini file, and retry verifying. If you’re unsure which one the .ini is, just play a co-op game. If for some reason you can’t find one where people will let you get them, toss me a friend invite and I’ll help you get it.
Easy Locations (1 of 2)
I’ll try to put this in as easy of terms as I possibly can, probably in some order of sorts, so it’s an easy path to follow. Keep in mind, like I said that some of these are is some cheap spots, so I’ll save the ones that are a little tougher to find, as well as the trader ones, for the end.
1) As soon as you start, turn to your left and you’ll see two tunnels, in the right one is a train, on said train, is a clown, said clown is what we’re after, shoot said clown.
2) Now that you know what we’re looking for, turn to your right and you’ll see a red and yellow canopy, if you go under it and turn right you’ll see the little ♥♥♥♥ sitting on the last of the support struts further down.
3) From there head to your left and down the stairs, at the bottom of the stairs, turn right, down that alley and up to the fence, the doll is on the canopy over the door.
4) Turn around and head back out into that plaza, if you look at the building straight across from the stairs there’s a rounded piece with a doll sitting on it’s highest windowsill.
5) Now turn left and head down the next set of stairs, directly to your right is a set of glowing orange windows on a building with a spinning turbine on top, in one of those windows is the next doll.
6) Continue along that path past the kiosk and look straight, on the second floor balcony sits the next doll.
7) If you head straight forward into that wall where the zeds come from and look at the corner to your right, the doll is peeking over the edge of the planter with the tree in it.
8) Now head into the park, directly in front of you on the fountain sits the next doll.
9) Once you head down the steps loot directly to your right, along that half-wall is a trash can, in the can is the doll.
10) Now head past the fountain and under the sign that says “Entrance”, take a right at the bottom of the stairs into the eating area (PROTIP: it has tables with umbrellas sticking out of them) head all the way to the edge, and look out at the wooden walkway, near the first light post the doll is sitting on one of the walkways support beams.
11) Now turn to your left and look at the bulilding, you should see the doll sitting on the table against the wall around the side of the building.
12) Continue down the way you’re looking, past the boards that lead on top of the concession stand and all the way to the iron bars blocking the hole in the path, look to your left and the doll is sitting on the part that juts out.
13) Now turn around and take the path underneath the boards I mentioned earlier. Once you’re back out on the main drag, there should be a booth in front of you that says “Pop the Clot”. Chuck a grenade in there for the next doll
14) Head down to your right until you come across a stand in the middle of the path, underneath the bench adjacent to it is the next doll.
15) Go around the other side of the stand to the fortune-teller booth and shoot the doll inside it.
16) Next go down the stairs to the walkway on the left side of the booth (if you’re facing the stand from where that last doll was, there’s a covered walkway, can’t miss it.) Directly at the bottom of those stairs is a seating area and a light post, on the top of the post is the next doll.
17) Now turn left and follow the path down around the back of the ferris wheel. Once you pass the first stack of boxes, but before the second stack, look to your right at the closest rock formation, on the formation sits the next doll.
18) Go all the way past the boxes until you’r earound the back of the ferris wheel, along the right side of the walkway is a larger stack of boxes only stacked two high, with a light post behind it, go to the end of it, look at the light post base, then further to the right, around the stack and the doll is sitting on the ground.
19) Turn around and head towards the opposite side, as you pass the open middle, chuck a grenade to your left, at the trader door, one of them is hiding in there on the left side.
20) Contine around to the other side of the ferris wheel, along the path on the other side that heads back around front, and out towards the seating area (MOAR PROTIP: The map is pretty much mirrored.) On the side of the seating area closest to you is a garbage can, and on the ground in fron of it, is the doll.
21) If you’re looking directly at that garbage can turn around, in that open stand is the next doll.
22) Continue down that path until you see the Amazing Mechanical Man (#SUPER #YOLO #SWAG #AWESOME #PROTIP #3000 #IMDABEST: Throw money in the “Tips” box) to the right of his stand is the next doll.
23) Turn left until you see a ramp heading up to the roof of the stands, underneath that ramp sits doll 22.
24) Turn around, on the rightmost bench is a body, shoot it in the head, the head is the doll.
25) Go around the side of that stall up the stairs to the left of the Amazing Mechanical Man and the next doll is diectly in front of you on the Spanner Toss.
26) Turn to your left and you’ll see the Strongman Test, on the top of the highest of the three sits the doll.
27) Turn around and head up the ramp behind you, once you get to the top turn to your left and head towards that trash can, behind it on a bench is the next doll.
28) Now if you turn around you should see a giant telescope, behind that sign in front of it that says “The Observatorium” the doll is sitting looking into the telescope.
29) From that bench, turn to your left until you see the giant glowing sign that says “Exit”. Head towards it until you get to the end of the second of the two stall on your left. On your right there’s a sign above a trader door that says “Emerald Edibles”, also, a doll.
30) Now turn around and throw a grenade at that horrifying vending machine before it steals your change. If for some reason you miss it, go look in the spot where the cans come out.
31) From where you’re standing (Or if you had to actually go look at the clown in the vending machine, where you WHERE standing) and still facing the machine, there’s a set of stairs just in your view on the left, go to them, and just underneath is the next doll.
32) Head up those stairs into the covered eating area. Those tables look familiar? They should.
In the far corner to your left the doll is in the chair, probably plotting your destruction.
33) Next, head through the eating area and out to your right, not through the big opening that leads out onto some crates, out the area most people would go. Out there you should see part of a broken wall, when you walk up to it, you should see a garbage can along the wall up on that level, chuck a grenade at it for doll 31
34) Remember that path I told you not to take on the last doll? Now you take it. Outside, follow the path until you go down a ramp and look left, then more left, until you see the building with the sign that reads “Lockheart’s Steamland”. Once you’re done admiring that fine-ass sign, look down, you should see the doll sitting next to one of the pillars holding the building up.
35) Head around the walkway and hop down next to the Happy-Snail-Go-Round, then head toward the Ferris Wheel on your right, head up the ramp leading to it and look to your right at the trader door with that rather glorious mustache above it. On the left curl is the doll (DON’T SHOOT THE MUSTACHE! IT’S BAD LUCK!)
Easy Locations (2 of 2)
36) Oh, and look down at the stairs below you, the next doll is sitting next to a crate.
37) Head up the ramp the rest of the way, the next doll is on top of the booth right in front of you.
38) Head around the ferris wheel to your left (clockwise, you dingus) right as you hit that small ramp there’s a doll directly to the left of it, on a column behind the sign.
39) There’s also one to the right, right next to the stairs up to the ferris wheel.
40) Follow the path around the ferris wheel until you see a pipeline with the doll sitting on top of it.
41) Double back and head down the first ramp down you see then head straight down the few stairs in front of you and take a right. Underneath the further of the two stripper cages is the next doll.
42) Head down to the stall in the middle of the path, inside the “Killing Floor” claw grabber is the next doll.
Trader Dolls (AKA: “WHY DO THEY PUT THESE HERE OMG THAT’S SO BS I WANT MY MONEY BACK”)
[1]43) In the first trader you come across as you’re going through the park, it’s on top of one of the vents.
[2]44) The next one is in the “Emerald Edibles” shop, right to the right as you go in, behind the tree (Go around the tree, ya dingus, and shoot it from the left side)
[3]45) The third one is in the shop under the ferris wheel, sitting on one of the support beams in the middle of the room.
Expert Dolls (Who let their child up into these places?!)
These are the ones that will need a sniper rifle or some strange way of obtaining them.
[1]46) This one is actually in the lighthouse, up top (That’s where the light comes from!)
[2]47) The next one is out near the chairswing, in the opening in the bottom, you might have to crouch/jump to see it.
[3]48) It’s on the Ferris Wheel. No lie. It’s right above “The Flywheel” sign sitting on the top of it, you might have to get to one of the flanks of it to see.
[4]49) Back at the Spanner Toss, chuck a grenade into the right-most hole to get this one. (You may have gotten it earlier)
[4]50) It’s stuffed into the pipe that sticks out of the Clockwork Cafe (Same building that says Lockheart’s Steamland).
FAQ
Q1) Yo dawg, can I post this shiz otherplaces mang?
A1) Go ahead, as long as I get credit for it you can use it as a job resume for all I care.
Q2) Y U NO MAEK VIDEO?!!!?! (AKA: Reading is for wussies!)
A2) I don’t have anything to record with, nor the space on my drives to do so. Plus, Reading is 10x better for your brain, especially if you spell “make” like that.
Q3) I HATE YOUR GUIDE! YOUR PATH IS INFERIOR TO MINE! I HATE YOU AND ALL THAT YOU LOVE! ALSO CAPSLOCK BROKEN SOMEONE HELP!
A3) That’s not a question
A3 part 2) Go ahead and tell me all about how this guide makes you uncomfortable and how my existance is meaningless in the comments, I’ll get around to ignoring you at my earliest convenience.
Q4) I made a video! It uses your path and all that other good stuff! Can you post it in your guide for the whole wide world to see?
A4) Absolutely, send me a link and I’ll add it to the guide and give you credit.