Overview
Like all scrubs that are new to Age of Empires, they wonder which civlization is best… well you can stop scratching your arse in confusion because the answer is obvious!Persians!They got all the sh*t you need be it land or water. But most important they got a trick up their sleeve. People regard it as the most monstereus unit in the game, professional players have nightmares about it, they cry for their mothers when they see it on the battlefield, the developers accidently added wrong unit and made this instead, a creature of evil and terror.The elephant!
Uh… i started Age of empires… what now?
You are in a multiplayer lobby where everyone must pick random civilizations? F*ck that, pick persians, let them face their outmost fear and let them tremble.
You got kicked? Congratulations you have won as persians by putting fear in their hearts!
But this guide isnt about lobby ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, its about winning the battlefield as Persians.
So pick Persians as the civilization you want to play… to continue this guide.
I’v started a Age of Empires game on singleplayer/multiplayer… uh what now?
GOOD QUESTION.
Your main priority is to rush to Castle Age because that is when the Circus begins.
So in dark age get your filthy human pesants to collect food as fast as possible and build some houses to get more monkeys to collect food untill you get 500 for Feudal age.
When in Feudal get one or a couple of villagers to build some fortifications (walls, towers) around your circus because it isnt open for show yet.
Continue with collecting food and get 4 or more villagers to get some gold for Castle Age. At this time you should have around 20 or more villagers collecting food and 10 at wood. You will need 800 food and 200 gold to advance to the next age.
When you have advanced to castle age you should get villagers to make houses(tents) for the party animals that is to come. Make sure you have enough of houses to fill the pop limit.
You need to build a ♥♥♥♥ ton of more villagers for food production and some for gold if you wish to succeed. Depending on what the pop limit is for the game you should atleast have 60+ villagers working on food, 20+ on gold and around 40 on wood to get your farms continue plowing.
Now when your economy is in order you can go to the next step!
wow dude i got loads of resources now what to do?
ANOTHER GOOD QUESTION!
Now that your economy is blossoming like herpes in a brothel you need to prepare the grand entertainment for your show.
IF you havent built the following structures then do so: Blacksmith, Stables and castle (Build as many castles you can around your base in close perimiter!).
Now that you have the buildings make sure you upgrade the following techs in the Blacksmith:
– Scale Boarding Armor
– Chain Boarding Armor
– Plate Boarding Armor
– Forging
– Iron Casting
– Blast Furnace
*** You will need lots of food and gold for this
Upgrade the following techs on your stable:
– Bloodlines
– Husbandry
Upgrade the following techs on your castle:
– Conscription
– Mahouts (This is availble in Imperial Age)
– Elite Party Elephant (This is availble in Imperial Age)
Now there are some techs as mentioned that is only availble in the Imperial Age so you know what to do.
Now that the preperations are done! The circus can open for show!
Man what the **** are you talking about and when does this circus start?
F*UCK YOU AND YES GOOD QUESTION!
Now that the preparations are done; The economy is going ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ crazy, the required techs have been purchased/upgraded, enough houses, ♥♥♥♥ ton of castles for mass production.
It can begin.
Select all your castles and put a rally point in the open somewhere outside your base or whereever you like. When you have selected all the castles you press and hold Shift button and simultaneously mash your A button. In a few seconds you will embrace the glory that is the Persians.
WAR ELEPHANTS.
Yes they appear from thin air out of your castles, now that they have been armored and buffed by techs you have bought. (Try and get to imperial age soon to upgrade them to Prime Elite Party Elephants)
Continue producing these party creatures of menacing doom untill you reach your poplimit. You should alteast have 100 of these and if you cant make more then slay some filthy pesants to make more of these marvelous creature.
Ooohkay…. now i got all these… Elephants… what now?
THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS!!!?
MASS and assemble your elephants into full squads and bring Circus to your fellow neighboors. Attack your enemies with the horrors you have made.
Now that your circus is on the march and heading to the nearby town for party it is required that you play this tune during the party:
Make sure you send your elephants where your enemy is producing food and collecting other resources because the enemy villagers are exhausted and is in dire need for some circus entertainment!
If you do make ecounter with some hostile monkeys on horses or with spear just get them out of the way because there is no stopping to this Circus.
“But dude, dude they have made a huge wall, what to do?”
Obvious! Tear it down! The Elephant is a specialist in breaking down unwanted structures in their way to the party.
“Dude dude they are sending spearmen, camels and teutonic knights! Arent they like anit elephant units? What to do?”
Shut up and no there are no such thing as counter to elephants, there is only a bump in the road to the party. What you should do is continue mass producing more elephants and no other units. This isnt a guide on how to play as a filthy casual this is Prime time circus time!
By now your enemy(s) should be in fetal position crying while the circus tune is jammering out of their speakers. Their town is in party fire, their pesants and monkeys with weapons is on the ground preferbly flat and bloody because of exhaustion from the circus party.
Congratulations! The circus has been brought to your nearby town!
You have succeeded the guide! You can now repeat this cycle on your nearby neighbooring towns.
This tutorials is stupid! I can easily just build (*insert “counter unit” here*)!!!! And win! And another stupid questions…
FALSE!
Elephants are virtually indestructible and wont be stopped that easy!
You build spearmen? I build more elephants!
You build camels? I build more elephants!
You build Teut Knights? I build more elephants!
You build walls? I build more elephants!
You build ****? I build more elephants!
“BUT WHAT ABOUT RUSH?”
Well i presume you as persians have build some walls, towers early game to prevent unwanted visitors to the circus?
“BUT WHAT ABOUT WATER?”
As i said earlier the persians wont let some blue goo stop the circus. You have all type of floating wodden constructs on your disposal, but most important you have the mobile circus ship that can transport your party across the ocean to your enemy.
“BUT THE ENEMY IS PERSIANS AS WELL!”
Fantastic! More elephants the better! Elephants enjoy wrestling with each other so no problem and continue producing more elephants!
You cant stop the circus!
Dude i won
OF COURSE YOU DID!
Now produce more elephants!