Overview
A guide for those who embrace precision, speed, and stylish black clothing over brute force and fake bronze abs.
The Ninja Way
We ninja embody discipline, cunning, strategy, and efficiency. Non-ninja are timid bunnies who use thick armor or long-ranged weapons to protect their dull and simple brains from those who are intellectually superior. As masters of murder , it is our duty to cleanse the battlefield of their unsightly cranial-density. We strive to rid the chivalry world of the festering blight that is their existence. I, promising disciple, will be your sensei.
Weapon Loadout
As a master of stealth and silence, your number one priority as a ninja should be quick and efficient dispatchment of your foes. The intellectually inferior classes (being everyone who is not a ninja), will learn to fear you and your kama of death and dismemberment. Though a true ninja can weaponize any object, this will be the best choice for dealing with the cowards who hide beneath their armor like frightened city-children. Use this weapon to get around the shields of the sexually inadequate spartans, or through the armor of the physically insecure knights by horizontally hooking their unenlightened heads from their muscle-bound bodies. We’ll discuss in detail the fighting strategies for this in a moment.
Though our stylish black clothing is indeed way cooler than the pathetic, frightened garb of our opponents, it is sadly much less durable. Us ninja hem the very shadows into armor, binding them with skill and wrapping them in a veil of silence. Shadows and silence, however, are surprisingly flimsy when it comes to stopping bullets or arrows. For these the accomplished ninja must use a fourth weapon: confusion. This is why we always choose the smoke bomb of fear and disorientation to cloud the vision and weaken the resolve of the intellectually deficient degenerates who oppose us. We’ll discuss in detail the fighting strategies for this in a moment.
One-on-one combat
Though engaging an opposing heavily-armored coward may seem like a daunting task initially, it is important to master. Eventually, however, what you once referred to as “one-on-one combat” will simply be called “assassination”. To reach this level of skill, a ninja must master his arsenal. Let us begin with the kama of death and dismemberment. Though other ninja weapons are indeed deadly, this is the best choice for armored opponents (which make up the vast majority of the enemy ranks). The most annoying of all cowardly instincts is the tendency to hide behind an enormous shield. Enemies who do this are all the more satisfying to destroy. This would be tricky for a foolish young ward or squire, but the razor-sharp intellect of even an initiate ninja is capable of besting these lesser impulses. Thankfully, your kama of death and dismemberment is as sharp as your mind. Its hook-shape makes it ideal for bypassing enemy shields and plunging straight into their bulky necks and shoulders. Be sure to get as close as possible, strafing slightly to the right of your opponent to make the horizontal strike or overhead swing the most likely to connect. When fighting someone with a short-range weapon and a shield, the ninja must either parry or roll backwards to avoid damage(bind roll to an easily-accessible key, as double-tapping takes too much time). Once in a while, however, the ninja will be confronted by a sexually inadequate pseudo-male who overcompensates for his tiny katana with a large, overbearing spear and fake metal muscles. In these cases, getting close enough to strike at him leaves the ninja blind to the exact position of the tip of said spear. NEVER TRY TO PARRY THESE SPEARS. Though you may get lucky and be able to manage a successful parry, it is too risky and luck-based to attempt. A much more fruitful method of evading damage in this case is to roll sideways. These spears have narrow attack zones and the deft and nimble ninja can easily evade attacks by rolling to the right (never the left. If there is a wall to your right stopping you from rolling there then roll backwards and parry).
The other thing a successful ninja must realize is that the fact his steps are silent. Even when sprinting, the ninja is nearly completely inaudible. This is a remarkable advantage that most people disregard. It makes sneaking up on archers or pirates who use guns childsplay. Assassinate these brain-dead drifters with a double-overhead combo to the head/neck.
N—-I—–N—-J—–A—K—-I—-C—K—–The last aspect of one-on-one combat a ninja must be familiar with is the rare necessity of running away. If the odds are against you, use your inhuman speed to your advantage. Roll behind a large object such as a pillar or wall, toss down a smoke bomb, and sprint in a random direction outside of the enemy’s field of vision. This makes it easy to bait them into an area in which a quick assassination is easy (closed passageways or narrow halls make swinging most class’ weapons difficult. Luckily your kama is small enough to still be functional here.) But sometimes you just need to get the hell out and pick a different prey.
The art of escape and alacrity
When confronted up close by a particularly aggressive armored beast, escape can be quite difficult. Luckily, however, a resourceful ninja still has access to several methods of escape and elusion. For instance, when throwing your smoke bomb of fear and disorientation, make sure it is at a location in which there are many possible ways you could go, forcing them to choose one at random. If the enemy is right behind you and that is not possible, you can throw it directly at them. If it hits one and they are sprinting, it will force them into a walk. This can buy you a few seconds and will be enough for you to gain a distance advantage so that their large weapons can’t reach you. If there are multiple knights, dont be afraid to long-kick (hold down F) one of them, run, and toss your smoke bomb of fear and disorientation at the other. This is a method found to work when running from two. Failing these, you must also realize that they are not much slower than you, but they are certainly not faster. If you see them from a distance and dont feel confident engaging them, running will be much more fruitful as they will not be able to catch up to you. A ninja aspires to always be aware of the location of his enemy, so try to look around and take in as much information as possible at all times. In this way you are effectively armed with the most deadly of all ninja tools: knowledge. If you are cornered and escape is impossible, use the pigs as parry and roll practice and see how much you can evade them before perishing. Pretty soon youll be able to dance around them with the ease of a master ninja.
Joint-assassinations
In many cases, the ninja will have other ninja allies to aid him. Remember, these men are your brothers and comrades in the endeavor to cleanse the battlefield. Always treat them with the respect and dignity a ninja deserves. One must realize that it is not about which ninja culls the most cowards. The enemy need only be dispatched in any manner possible. When fighting alongside your fellow masters of murder, NEVER horizontally swing. This causes it to be very likely for you to damage your brothers. Either alt-slash (if there is no ally to your left, that is), overhead, or stab.This will ensure that quick work is made of anyone foolish enough to stand in defiance of the ninja way. If there is a particularly aggressive armored foe who seems to be overwhelming an ally, mix in swift kicks to interrupt and daze them. Step in immediately and take over for him if you can. If not, try to land as many double-overhead combos as you can to the person’s back as he is distracted with the other ninja.
A chaos tamed
The most skilled ninja can use the calamity of a chaotic battlefield to his advantage. When there are many people fighting in the open, use your smoke bomb of fear and disorientation to your advantage. Toss it into the middle of the melee fighters, use your godlike speed and silence to maneuver around the back of the rangers, and begin culling. The smoke will either drive the lesser beasts to kill each other in their ensuing sub-human panic or drive them out. Either way, your goals are furthered. The rangers will often be distracted or excited by this visually obscured landscape, rendering them mere prey before your mighty kama of death and dismemberment. Enjoy the ecstacy-inducing killing spree that will inevitably follow.
Commencement
Well, my student, you now have a basic understanding of The Ninja Way. Use your newfound knowledge to fulfill the ultimate goal of Ninjutsu: the extermination of lesser men. Most of your skill will be gotten through experience, but fear not! Your adherence to the tenets above will bring you victory and satisfaction. As the ninja world evolves and changes, I will constantly be present to update my methods and guide you further. Now onwards, ninja! Emerge from the shadows and reap the lives of all other subhuman swine!
