Overview
A compilation of all the loading screen facts.
Introduction
Below is a collection of the flavor texts from the Tropico 5 loading screens. It is not yet complete and more will be added as they are found.
El Presidente’s Fun Facts!
When Mariano Melgarejo of Bolivia was presented with a white stallion as a gift from Brazil, he was so stunned by the horse that he immediately took a map of Bolivia and put one of its hooves on it… and gave the Brazilians the entire area covered by it.
Melgarejo of Bolivia, having heard the history of Caligula and his horse consul, thought the story was so cool that he made his horse, named Holofernes, General of Bolivia.
The President of Turkmenistan, Saparmurat Niyazov, wrote a book called Book of the Soul. It was made compulsory to learn in schools and to be held in the same regard as the Quran in mosques throughout the country. Also, in 2006 a copy of the book was sent to space.
Saparmurat Niyazov, self-proclaimed President and Father of Turkmenistan, had a 12 meter golden statue of himself built upon a 75 meter high arc – with the statue rotating so it always faces the sun.
Saparmurat Niyazov had all hospitals outside of Turkmenistan’s capital closed as he felt it was reasonable for people needing medical care to travel to the capital.
In 1980, Ceausescu destroyed most of the historical part of Bucharest in order to build what was lauded as the biggest building in the world after the Pentagon. After his death, Romania’s Parliament moved in, only to be able to use 30% of the building.
Nicolae Ceausescu made sure that the street leading up to the palace was constructed to be exactly 1 meter wider than the Champs Elysees in Paris… just because.
Nicolae Ceausescu called himself The Genius of the Carpathians and even made a scepter for himself, prompting Salvador Dali to personally send a telegram of mocking, but having no concept of satire, Ceausescu had Dali’s letter published on the front page of the newspaper.
Ceausescu proclaimed his alcoholic and womanizing son, to be a “scientist of international reputation” and allegedly had published several volumes on nuclear physics.
Ceusescu demanded that his nearly illiterate wife be made a member of the New York Academy of Sciences and the Royal Institute of Chemistry. In Romania, she been crowned “Comrade-Academician-Doctor-Engineer”, and top scientists had to include her name in their research.
Rafael Trujillo, President of the Dominican Republic, had streets, mountains, schools and bridges named not only in his honor, but in honor of various members of his family as well.
Rafael Trujillo, President of the Dominican Republic, appointed his 3 year old son colonel, and went on to make him General at the age of 10.
Rafael Trujilio, President of the Dominican Republic, campaigned to win a Nobel Prize for Literature for his illiterate wife, after honoring her as a writer and philosopher.
Rafael Trujillo required every license plate in the Dominican Republic to say “Viva Trujillo” and every church to say “God in Heaven, Trujillo on Earth”.
Muammar Gaddafi has a fear of climbing more than 35 steps at a time and would often refuse to go to the upper floors of buildings.
Muammar Gaddafi decreed that all his bodyguards be female virgins.
When travelling, Muammar Gaddafi slept in a Bedouin tent that he brought along with him. He sometimes brought camels and horses along as well.
When in Rome in August 2010, Muammar Gaddafi paid a modeling agency to get 500 women to attend his lecture where he tried to get them to convert to Islam.
Bucaram, elected President of Ecuador in 1996, was known as “El Loco” (“The Madman”), a nickname he championed himself.
While President, Bucaram recorded a pop album called A Madman in Love… which he released while still in office and also took advantage of his president side job to circulate his demo to other presidents at an Ibero-American conference in Chile.
While head of state of an economically struggling Ecuador, Bucaram offered professional coach Diego Maradona $1 million to play one soccer game with him
According to his official biography, Kim Jong Il’s birth in Baekdu Mountain was prophesized by a swallow and heralded with a double rainbow and a new star in the heavens.
Kim Jong Il had a town called Kijong-Dong built right in the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea and had a small crew work around the clock to preserve the illusion that people actually live there – as a farce to try to trick South Koreans into defecting.
Kim Jong Il told his people that he invented the hamburger, after which he built a hamburger factory, saying “I’ve made up my mind to feed quality bread and french fries to university students, professors and researchers even if we are in (economic) hardship”.
A former chef for Kim Jong Il revealed the North Korean leader employed staff to make sure the grains of rice served to him were absolutely uniform in size and color.
Kim Jong Il is rumored to have spent $350,000 a year on brandy and to always had traveled with a pack of beautiful women he referred to as his “Pleasure Squad”.
Apart from claiming to be the greatest golfer in the history of existence, Kim Jong Il also apparently composed six operas and enjoyed staging musicals.
Kim Il Sung claimed that he could turn sand into rice, and that he could cross rivers on leaves.
Comrade, Chairman, Prime Minister, Foreign Minister, Minister of War, Commander-in-Chief of the People’s Army Enver Hoxha was the dictator of Albania. He got that title because he rewarded all cabinet positions to himself.
Enver Hoxha famously built 750,000 bunkers across Albania, to protect its meager 3 million inhabitants from a hypothetic Soviet invasion.
Enver Hoxha kidnapped a dentist in rural Albania who looked like him, then forced plastic surgery on him to make the resemblance even more so – leaving the poor fellow no choice but to leave his life behind and live on pretending to be the prime minister.
Enver Hoxha banned beards, typewriters and color TVs in Albania.
Visitors to Albania were forced to go through a disinfectant bath, by decree of Enver Hoxha.
El Presidente’s Fun Facts! Part 2
An African despot, Idi Amin Dada laid claim to the Scottish throne and offered to marry Queen Elizabeth to lead the Commonwealth.
Mad at the Queen of Britain for her refusal to marry him, Idi Amin Dada had four local British businessmen to carry him around in a sedan chair at a diplomatic conference in Uganda.
To mock the people who pointed out Uganda’s crippling famine, Idi Amin Dada created the “Save Britain Fund” by taking a truckload of food from starving peasants and offering it to the UK.
Idi Amin Dada called himself “His Excellency, President for Life Field Marshall Al Hadj Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of all the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in general and Uganda in particular”.
Francois Duvalier once called for early elections in Haiti, baffling everyone as his “term” wasn’t over for two more years. Things became rather clear when his 100% victory was announced.
After declaring himself President for Life of Haiti, Francois Duvalier banished all Catholic bishops from the country and pronounced himself the reincarnation of the vengeful spirit of death – Baron Samedi.
Believing his rival had turned into a black dog, President Francois Duvalier ordered all black dogs in Haiti hunted and killed.
In his later years, President of Haiti – Francois Duvalier, declared he alone was responsible for the death of JFK, after casting a curse upon him.
Bokassa crowned himself emperor of the Central African Empire (which he made up one day) in a ceremony that cost the country’s annual GDP, where two-thirds of the population lived with less than a dollar per day.
In his later years, Jean Bedel Bokassa declared himself the 13th Apostle and claimed that he frequently met the Pope in secret.
When Francisco Nguema was President of The Republic of Equatorial Guinea, he banned the word “intellectual”. shut down schools, drove educated people out of his country and declared himself the Grandmaster of Education, Science and Culture.
In a stroke of genius, Nguema – President of Equatorial Guinea – had the governor of the public bank killed and hid all the money in his jungle shed.
Francisco Nguema changed the Republic of Equatorial Guinea’s national motto to “There is no other God than Macias Nguema”.
Once while in power, Francisco Nguema banned the use of lubricants in power plants, claiming that he had the magical capacity to keep them operational – he could not – and caused major power outages throughout Equatorial Guinea.
Francisco Nguema shut down several hospitals in Equatorial New Guinea in favor of his witch doctor ancestry.
Being extremely superstitious, Burma’s President Ne Win reportedly bathed in dolphin blood believing it restored his youth and vitality and would also cross bridges backwards to ward off evil.
Ne Win consulted soothsayers on almost every aspect of his decision making in his nearly 3 decades as ruler of Burma.
One shiny day, Ne Win, head of state of Burma, announced that he was going to change the currency into denominations of 15, 30, 45 and 90, so that he could live to be over 90 years old. This minor inconvenience effectively rendered the entire population’s savings invalid.
The ruler of Zaire had his name changed to Mobutu Sese Seko Nkuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga (“The all powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake”)
Mobutu Sese Seko, ruler of Zaire, once paid Muhammad Ali and George Foreman $5 million each to fight in his country to give it more recognition in the world.
Mobutu, dictator of Zaire, had prohibited anybody except him from wearing leopard-print hats and carried with him a wooden cane that he claimed took the strength of eight men to carry.
Mobutu Sese Seko, former President of Zaire, had an airport especially constructed so he could charter Concorde jets to take shopping trips in Paris with his family.
In Zaire. the evening news was always preceded with an image of autocratic ruler Mobutu Sese Seko, smiling through the clouds and looking down from the heavens. He also forbade the newscasters to mention anybody but him by name.