Overview
This is a comprehensive guide on what to expect from the weapons people use in the v2 version of Boring Man.The weapons are ranked on a comprehensive chart (although not compared numerically) and described in a table.Sporting jokes, controversial views, dumb ideas, and overall stupidity.Keep in mind this is all just a joke.Outside of that, let’s begin!
Preface
Keep in mind that this guide doesn’t ACCURATELY rank and describe the majority of weapons.
It’s a sterotypes list created mainly as a joke between a few avid BMAN players, a majority of the up-keep is done by Durdge-o and new entries are written by Gengis G. in most cases.
This is satirical!
If we make fun of you there’s probably a reason for it, but don’t take it seriously!
Remember, these are “stickman videogame” weapons.
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EXAMPLE TABLE FOR REFERENCE:
Weapon –
<WEAPON NAME> + <WEAPON IMAGE>
<WEAPON NAME> + <WEAPON IMAGE>
Skill –
<All / Beginner / Low / Mid / High / Top / God>
<All / Beginner / Low / Mid / High / Top / God>
Usage –
<JOKE>
<JOKE>
Rating –
<X/10>
<X/10>
Review –
<JOKE / THOUGHTS ON WEAPON.>
<JOKE / THOUGHTS ON WEAPON.>
Handguns / Dual-Wields
“Pocket-rifles and Handcannons.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Pistol
Beginner to Mid
Beginner or Dual Wielded
5-6/10
This is not a good gun, it’s outclassed in many ways, mainly by Compact Pistols. However, it doesn’t have that much going against it, at least you can use it to better use than the Silenced in most cases since the fall-off isn’t as bad.
Silenced Pistol
Mid to Top
Dual Wielded(?)
4-5/10
4x headshot damage is good normally, but the damage fall-off is horrendous, I wouldn’t recommend it normally. There’s no real reason to use it over the normal pistol when the fall-off is so bad, it’s hard to use and not reliable at all. Requires close-quarters to get any use out of it, at that point you’d be better off with a shotgun.
Underwater Pistol
Dumbass
“nobody”
1/10
Drone glitch was patched, MEME_DOWN. Use the UW AR, at least it can do its job properly. Dual wielding this is a complete meme.
Revolver
Mid to High
Revolver Ocelot or Cowboy Jones
8/10
RNG is the name of the game, fan that hammer and pray to god it hits. 50 to the head, like 18 to the body, rush-down is absurd with it if you can land shots. (Or just get lucky.)
Compact Pistols
All
A filler to a set, pocket AR.
8/10
If you can mash, It’s definitely a good option, it does AR level damage, can fire faster, is light, has a good reload, and it’s a Dual-Wielded weapon in a single slot. Doesn’t suffer from fall-off as much as you’d think it would. Unbelievably good for the slot.
Handcannon (Deag)
High to Top
First class Fraggin’ Tool
9/10
Recoil exists, it’s a lot more noticable now. Legit treat this like your playing Counter Strike and you’ll be on the path to gold! Time your shots, compensate your recoil, aim (if you can), and your hard work will pay off in strides!
UZI
Beginner to High
Dual Wielding
7/10
Feels like it’s beat by the majority of SMGs, but it doesn’t quite totally get stomped. It’s an odd weapon and most of its users are just as odd.
Compact UZI
Bad Players
As a joke
0/10
Worst weapon in the game rn and doesn’t even have a “meme” associated. For some reason it’s endlessly defended by players who don’t even play TDM or the game at all really, dunno why.
Burst Pistol
All
Slot Filler
“10/10”
The “Definitive” shotgun pistol, spammable as all hell and extremely lethal, the flexibility of it is also something to note being that you can just slap it into nearly any loadout and it just works, 10/10 would use, I guess.
Sawn-Off
High
Dual Wielding or Pocket DB
10/10
Used to be an out-of-place weapon in a sea of DB / Trench, thanks to the update it was slightly buffed and it was finally put over the edge. Now it’s an extremely powerful weapon no matter how you use it.
SMGs
“Baby ARs.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Light SMG
All
Slot Filler
9/10
Arguably best slot filler in the game if you don’t have a playstyle in mind, with the basic AR being the only other one. Potentially the Magic too but most players aren’t skilled with its strict and punishing gameplay.
SMG (P90)
Mid to High
Slot Filler
9/10
Reload speed is the only thing making this worse than the Light SMG. Super reliable and heavily underrated, potentially outclassed by LSMG if you have a heavier loadout. Use them interchangably for your situation, there is no “better” one.
Power SMG
All
Yes
10/10
Arguably the best automatic gun in the game, 40 bullets, 4 shot to the head, and absurdly light. Crutch worthy, could be DB-teir honestly once the community catches on. Has too much versatility honestly, still very unexplored. Only thing holding it down is reload.
Fire UZI
Meming
Meming
1/10
The Fire UZI is what you’d expect, an Uzi (MP7 technically) that shoots fire, as most fire weapons go, it’s not very viable but still decently lethal, very good at ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ over people who’re trying to climb up mid on Fields1, still super situational on use.
Long SMG
All
Really good damage
9/10
The newest SMG to roll into town and oh baby does it pack a punch, insane RPM, really good damage per shot (for an SMG at least), and to top that all off, insanely accurate, what isn’t there to love here?
Shotguns
“THE BOOMSTICK.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
DB
It’s a crutch
Tryharding
10/10
Check the skill section, also the recent nerfs weren’t that big, still an amazing gun, but no longer the absolute strongest.
Pump Shotgun
High to Top
If they own the Artifact
9/10
Thanks to the updates it’s steadily been getting better, with decent lethality and range. It’s a cannon with great potential, just a little bogged down from being “DB / Sawn-off”-tier. Expect people to still run it if they have the Arti, expect them not to run it if they don’t.
Trench Gun
“”High””
Competitive, but too honest to use any shotgun.
7/10
Forever trapped in the vortex. Even after buffs it doesn’t see the use it should. Lacking an identity among players despite the ridiculous reload speed it sits quietly.
Auto Shotgun
All Skill Levels
Wants the enemy gamer hella dead
9/10
Just like in Counterstrike, if you use the auto shotgun, you will have people constantly insulting you and calling you a bad player, but just like in Counterstrike, you can give the enemy a facefull of lead and not give a ♥♥♥♥ about what they say, being it’s hard to understand what a person is raging about if their jaw is blown off.
ARs, DMRs, and LMGs
“The name says everything, Assault Rifles and Designated Marksman Rifles are what fill this in, and there are a few of ’em.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Light AR
All
Universal All-Arounder
9/10
A budget AR? A better AR? Time will decide. It’s ridiculously good right now.
Assault Rifle (‘Merica Gun)
All
Universal All-Arounder
10/10
The “best” slot filler in the game, what else can I say? Can do literally anything it wants, at any time, anywhere, with anyone, and anything.
Keymaster
Mid to Top
Skill-Based All-Arounder
10/10
Really Really Really Really Really Really Really good. (Sorry Gengis, but I refuse to say that this is 2nd best in the game. It’s like top-5 tho.)
Underwater AR
Dumbass
Underwater
4/10
The same deal as the UW Pistol. Used to Have Drone spaghetti, but this time you’re actually good if you use it underwater.
Musket
Mid to Top
Picking tool
7/10
One-shot with great capability thanks to the fact you can move around whilst reloading unlike v1. Really fun to use, yields great results if you can land shots and position well. Completely negates overheal for the most part, so its generally pretty solid somehow.
Power Rifle (AK)
Mid to Top
Rushdown
8/10
Dumb headshot damage, Power SMG’s brother. Slow bullet speed acts as both a strength and weakness. Incredibly polarizing weapon.
Long Rifle (Famas)
Mid to Top
Picking and 1v1s
9/10
One of the hardest guns to use, but a really good one if you can. On paper, an All-arounder that has a little nudge almost making it a master of all, however, requires you to play well to get that benefit, basically Fox from Melee.
Machine Gun (LMG)
All
SUPPRESSING FIRE
8/10
100 bullets and a dream, this is a really good gun to just hold forward and M1 with when using a skateboard, hard to utilize, yet super, super rewarding, also funny gun go BRRRRRRRRR.
Scoped Rifle
Mid to Top
choote gan
10/10
You wake up in a cold sweat, “Scoped rifle is bad” echoes through your soul. You get up, walk to the kitchen, and get some water. “God, I need to stop having these dreams.” You walk up to your Scoped Rifle shrine, then you utter: “…nothing bad will happen… I promise… It all was just a dream, after all…”
Chain Gun
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ IDK
W+M1
9/10
“I am Heavy Weapons Guy…and this is my weapon. [lays both hands covetously on Minigun] She weighs one hundred fifty kilograms and fires two hundred dollar, custom-tooled cartridges at ten thousand rounds per minute. It costs four hundred thousand dollars to fire this weapon…for twelve seconds.”
Long-Ranged Weapons
“I’m not sure who I am anymore, what even is a ‘long range’…”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Lever Action
Mid to Top
High fidelity picking tool
8/10
Hitscan is wack. 2-3 Shot is wack. Potential RNG spaghetti with the right-click. What’s not to love? Suffers greatly from fall-off though, but keep in mind that NO MAN can outrun hitscan. Although it has some stupid ass inaccuracy that holds back its true potential.
Plinger
High to Top
Your chokepoint? My chokepoint.
9/10
Practically a better Handcannon, Lever Action, yadda yadda. You name it? It can probably do it better. Thing sports insane accuracy and very little fall-off. Very reliable and spammable damage but the loud call-out for the reload and reload in general keeps it from being broken.
Sniper Rifle
High
Sniping?
8/10
Before I’d tell you that it’s something difficult and refined to use. Now? It’s RNG. It’s annoying and has a skill element involved if you do ever decide to sit down and not jump-shot. If you are jump shotting? The RNG-lottery will either ruin your day or grant you free kills! Me personally, I’m not a fan. But at least I can see the merit in it…
Bolt Action
God
Same as Sniper
10/10
Slower, more powerful Sniper, counters overheal to an extent, and also more satisfying to shoot, is it better? Probably not. Just as annoying as the Sniper, now with a more punishing factor for missing shots or spamming, requiring more “precision”. A heftier firing cool down strikes the weapon hard. Extremely scary if the gods bless you that day however.
Tranq Rifle
Mid
S P A M
9/10
Generally this weapon is simply used to spam across a sniper sight line hoping to hit someone for that sweet, sweet 15 damage + poison. That’s not the main draw though, it tags an enemy’s location on EVERY SHOT. You’ve got so many damn shots that even if they heal your team has got eyes on them at all time, previously something only exclusive to the drone. Your team will most definitely take that opportunity to the gates.
Railgun
All
Chip tool or Survival
9/10
Reliable hitscan with a scope, no inaccuracy… would be extremely good if not for the low damage. SURVIVAL THO-
Bow
IDK
Spam
10/10
♥♥♥♥ you “Clientside”. Also fire arrows are funny, like really really funny.
Crossbow
Mid to Top
The last nail in the coffin
10/10
A longer range, slower firing Bow to an extent, poison nerf hit it hard but the damage buff is amazing. You don’t really have to “try” to aim the thing either since it’s a lot more passive than charging the Bow. Sits pretty as a definitive way to close out a life, mainly thanks to the burst of damage and poison. Even if they’re on the retreat it’ll slowly bleed the life out of them, to the head it deals big damage along with bleeding them out for poison. Very scary, and possibly broken too if poison ever gets reworked.
Explosives
“Boom! Boom! Acka-lacka-lacka- Boom!”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Grenade Launcher
Mid to High
Choke control tool or Picking tool
8/10
Bullied before the most recent update, believed to be unbelievably broken due to clientside issues. Since then most players have forgotten about it entirely, other weapons do its job better and getting kills has become harder as people have become more aware.
Heavy GL
Low to Mid
Fragging
7/10
“What makes me a good Demoman? If I were a bad Demoman, I wouldn’t be sittin’ here, discussin’ it with you now would I?”
Rocket Launcher
All
Movement and Spam
8/10
“You were loud and ugly and now you’re DEAD! Amen.”
Mortar
Mid to High
Single Target Deletion
9/10
One of the best weapons at just snapping a man out of existence, being it can bounce off of walls, insta kills, has a really good arc to the projectile, and to top it all off, has the ability to put Frag Grenades or Nitrogen Mines or any consumable grenade into the thing to launch that EVEN FURTHER than the standard shot, it’s absurd.
Light Rocket Launcher
All
Movement
11/10
“Screamin’ Eagles!.”
Plasma Rifle
Low to Mid
Traps and Shotgun Spam
7/10
“Oh they’ll have to glue you back together, IN HELL”
Misc
“Random ♥♥♥♥, melees, magic, and some other ♥♥♥♥.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Fists
Top
FGC
2/10
For whatever reason this weapon actually requires more skill than a lot of others on account of the fact you have to do a fighting game input in a 2D Shooter, also requiring hefty timing for just getting the hitbox to connect or using the block function against another fist user. Extremely fun and rewarding. But it’s still just fists.
Heal Gun
Anyone.. really…
Competitive or Support
10/10
Really good and more balanced than it’s v1 counterpart. A welcome addition and honestly not that annoying to deal with. Good stuff. Most users feel oddly creepy… if you see a player using this with a Lovely Skin run immediately.
Lightning Gun
Everyone and their mother
Cross Map Teleportation + Stuns
10/10
Imagine making an item that has the ability to remove the enemy gamer’s weapon from their hands and think “Yeah, I should make it also send the user crossmap with the ALTERNATE fire, yeah, sounds good” and then not expect it to break the meta. Along with deflecting rockets, forcing people off of Skateboard, pushing Muleslapper Sentries, and pushing pick-ups. So if you hate that, use this, I guess.
Acid Gun
Mid to High
PI SS
9/10
Extremely map dependent but now allows you to heavily control choke points and ♥♥♥♥ out damage. A great weapon overall now! Just watch out for self-damage and spam that right-click baybee!!
Goo Gun
Sk8 H8rs
Barf..?
9/10
Just like its brother the Acid Gun, quite a map dependent weapon, usually requires a high point to spam down from, either that or a defensive hold. The real spice though? It ANNIHILATES ALL MOMENTUM UPON TOUCH. I just don’t know why, but it absolutely CRUSHES MOMENTUM and KICKS PLAYERS OFF SKATEBOARD. Rushers? No problem. BYE BYE MORON.
Grapple-hook
High to Top
Movement
7/10
Can really apply to any map with the aide of bhopping but performing bhops with it requires insane timing. Versatile for whatever you need it to do, very good movement tool.
Knife
YEET
YEET
YEET
IMAGINE THE SCOUT’S CLEAVER IN BMAN.
YA BOI’S BACK BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YA BOI’S BACK BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sword
Top
Zombrains / Melee Counter
6/10
“THE ZOMBRAINS’ CLAYMORE!”
THE BLADE OF ZOMBIE’S BANE!– WOE BEFALLETH THOU WHO DARE STRIKE THY MAJESTY WITH UNWORTHY FISTS, YE FOOLISH AND THOSE OF NON-FAITH! PRAISE BE UPON THEE WITHIN YONDER MELEE DUEL! GOD SPEED!
THE BLADE OF ZOMBIE’S BANE!– WOE BEFALLETH THOU WHO DARE STRIKE THY MAJESTY WITH UNWORTHY FISTS, YE FOOLISH AND THOSE OF NON-FAITH! PRAISE BE UPON THEE WITHIN YONDER MELEE DUEL! GOD SPEED!
…On an unrelated note, this is kind of hard to use actually yet pretty rewarding. Hoping it’ll get buffed.
Wrench
Beginner
Movin’ that gear up.
5/10 (CTF) – 1/10 (Anything Else)
“Well, when that don’t work, use more gun.. [–Instead of a silly lil’ wrench, now really pardner, ya really thought that’d work?]”
It’s getting buffed along with the removal of Plank so this’ll be changed EVENTUALLY.
Magic
High to Top
Competitive Players
8/10
Difficult weapon. Very hard to quickly setup shields, requires extreme movement to make up for the the projectiles, and yet it still suffers greatly from fall-off so the left-click is practically worthless. It requiring so much effort and dedication it’s not really worth it, but a good shield can annihilate a push and players are starting to realize. It’s essentially required in SVL. Extremely fun to use once you’ve figured it out.
Muleslapper
Mid
Who am I!?
8/10
Weird. An odd keymaster? A long-range spam machine? A choke-point destroyer? An all-arounder? It’s odd, it really can do whatever you want it to do, with the major downside being how damn slow the projectiles and reload is. Insanely versatile.
Fusion Cannon
Mid to High
Timed Destruction
7/10
With the re-addition of this weapon came the change to make it even more skill based than before, the ability to 1 shot with it is very hard to time and if you take a bit too long… off goes your entire torso. This weapon is one hell of a commitment most won’t take and it ain’t the same power as Magic or other skill-based weapons either.
Throwables
“Aye! Kobe!— (Kills entire team)”
———-Consumable————
Skill is removed for this part of the category and Rating is compared with other consumables, they’re very one-note and currently there’s no reason to give them a Skill rating when it’s a simple as using your awareness to the fullest extent, however the reusable throwables have more thought.
Weapon
Usage
Rating
Review
Frags
Choke control tool or Picking tool
Yes/10
A GL without the stigma! You’ve got limited nades and a more reasonable bounce.
Potato Mashers
funny yeet
10/10
Discount Mortar shots, throw these ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cross map and hope to god they hit, or use them as discount tripmines, both work, being it’s still super lethal.
Dynamite
Those who have too much time/Point based game-modes
6/10
This thing is really bad in TDM yet shines in not only CTF, not only Takeover, but also Survival due to how easily it just clears points, it’s mostly to troll in any PVP game-mode but hey, if it works, it works, still ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sucks in TDM but hell who even plays that trash.
Molotov
Choke control tool or Picking tool
8/10
Fire isn’t that good. However, the throw angle is bull and we love it. Essentially just a frag-nade that you can’t accidentally trip over.
EMP
Annoying players
4/10
Does little to no damage. Stuns, annoys, drops weapons, and…. it’s not good. Does emotional damage though if you’re cheesed out by it. A weapon purely used to piss people off. You’ll never see it be used in CTF since you can easily disable CTF equipment with good weapons.
Flashbangs
Annoying players
2/10
Look up at the section above on EMP. Except this time they have the chance to kill you while stunned if they just start flailing about, this weapon can also be entirely countered by simply having map-knowledge and general awareness. Extremely annoying and rude, best part is that it won’t even help you kill, but hey, at least it counters skate now, right, right?
Heal Nades
Support
10/10
Using this outside of Survival is rude, Heal Gun is out so it’s more excusable. Still, really good.
Gas Nades
Anti-Support or Area denial
6/10
Counters Heal Nades so yes, is good for that. Poison is okay too. Thanks to Heal Gun and the new emphasis on support, it might get some use.
Pineapple
Pineapple
Pineapple
Best weapon in the game.
Kunai
Erasing people from existence
8/10
The return of kunai is a huge one, especially considering the seemingly small yet effectively large buff of giving it an few extra uses, though now it comes with the downside of “can’t spam the ♥♥♥♥ outta them for 1 shots”, the bounce still exists, this means that you can spam them for chip damage or something, IDK, just wait the time it takes to pull all 3 out.
Nitrogen Mines
“I forgot to look down!”
10/10
Become your still beating heart with the power of Nitrogen Mines, these things hard counter rushing and those without a brain, which both are effectively the same thing, see how hard you can piss people off with them, I’ll be waiting.
Muleslapper Sentry
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ whatever
10/10
This thing, this thing is arguably the single scariest ‘nade slot to ever exist, being how much you have to respect it, it denies explosives, pokes you for damage, has a decently large radius, floats around for a long time, and if you shoot it, if you DARE shoot it, it retaliates back in a near unavoidable instant kill wave, which can be procked by not only the enemy, but also the person who threw the grenade, which means you can spam all 3 out and then just wildly spray hoping 1 gets hit, it’s ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, but it just works man.
———-Non-Consumable————
This section does get a skill rating, as these are “throwables” but not consumable.
Usually these require a little more thought and overall require more attention as you have to retrieve your weapon.
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Boomerang
Mid to Top
Crowd-control or Picking tool
9/10
‘Stralia Mate, this thing can cheese out kills easily. Vertical maps yield free kills. If you’re not careful you’ll drop the thing and take damage, which usually spells death, making it super scary to use at times. Luckily you don’t have to hold down the equipment key, tapping it to throw a full throw or to retrieve it works just fine.
Tomahawk
Mid to Top
Cleaving peoples heads off
8/10
With the removal of the bounce on these, you’d think they’d be bad, you’d be dead wrong, with the new headshot mechanic and them being auto-grabbed these have become a super lethal and super versatile throwing weapon. Still, the angle is hard to get to grips with and the reward is negligible, especially since you have no bounce. The knife does the job better, but the fact that it’s on the grenade slot means a lot. You’re probably better off with Boomerang, assuming you can deal with that weapon’s weaknesses and upsides.
Equipment
“Power Armor is for ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.”
Weapon
Skill
Usage
Rating
Review
Jetpack
N/A, takes none.
Movement
N/A, doesn’t need one.
Makes verticality your ♥♥♥♥♥. Sure you don’t have nades, sk8, or what-have-you, but you really can’t go wrong. It’s more-or-less a brain-dead pick. Everyone and their mom uses it, for good reason too.
Sk8
Yes
Cheati- I mean Movement
10/10
Probably the best grenade slot item, the speed it provides is absurd and can make any loadout viable. Within reason, of course.
Suicide Vest
Press F
Plan B
7/10
Used to be a complete meme, it still is… but at least it kills now! The hitbox is huge now, it’ll consistently frag players and take out groups as a last-minute “get-outta-jail” free card for the player who can’t seem to actually kill anything.
Drone
Mid to High
Drone
10/10
There’s a lot of ♥♥♥♥ you can use drone for, fragging, intel, grabbing ammo/health to starve the enemies of it, and also just being a nuisance, overall a decent tool. What stops it from being a tool that everyone can use is simple, positioning and awareness. Most of the time if you’re stuck in a drone you’re very predictable and it requires an expert’s touch to get past those downfalls and the lack of a jetpack. Very rewarding.
Conclusion
I hope you found this useful in some way.
New weapons will be added as they’re added.
Old weapons will be revised / notorious players will be added as they’re noticed or required.
Now that we’re done, faff off.