Overview
This is the first guide in a series I hope to do where I tell newcomers what to expect when starting to play a game. Today, I will show everyone what to expect when you first play Smite. Being someone who loves Smite and played it since the start of season 1, I want to educate people in a funny way. Hope you like my guide. Note: All the pictures that you see in the guide are not owned by me. I mostly just pulled them from Google Images. I take no credit for the pictures you will see. Edit: I now have a youtube channel! I have uploaded my first video, and it probably sucks, but please feel free to drop by and give me some advice or suggestions. The Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjPkW9OY3x8
Introduction
CONGRATULATIONS! You have made the choice to play the game Smite! A huge world of thrilling adventure awaits you. However, there are things you aren’t expecting. Things you’ll probably want to know about. Luckily for you, you also made the choice to click on this guide! As such, I will happily show you the ropes when it comes to Smite. Smite is a big game with a lot to it, and a lot of things you need to understand to even come close to “Getting Gud” as they call it. It might seem overwhelming at first, but trust me, it’s actually very simple once you learn it. I’m talking everything from gameplay mechanics, the community, and even the emotional rollercoaster you will have while playing this game. There is a bunch of ♥♥♥♥ to get to, so lets dig in.
1. You Will Suck Badly
I’m sorry, but it’s unavoidable, you will do awfully at the start. And I’m not talking, “Oh, I need to learn more, but I can get the hang of this”, I’m talking, “OH MY GOD, WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ AM I EVEN DOING. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE ♥♥♥♥ IS GOING ON”. Don’t worry, this is normal. We have all been through this phase. I highly recommend playing a crap ton of coop matches before trying to do normals. Find at least one god you can sorta play. Also do not, and I mean DO NOT play conquest. I know it’s the main gamemode, but it is way easier to play arena first. You don’t have to worry about lanes, terms, and stuff like that. It’s way better training to start off with. I say you can start doing conquest when you get at least two gods to mastery 1. I say two just in case you can’t play one of them. Also, make sure to learn the terms for conquest. It will make it so you can actually play conquest, as you will be constantly yelled at if you have no idea what you are doing, speaking of which….
2. The Community And It’s Quirks
As with any sort of MOBA, the community can be VERY toxic, ESPECIALLY NEWCOMERS.
People will look for any oppertunity to give you all kinds of hell. This is another reason I recommend on holding off on conquest, as I don’t want you to be rained upon with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lightning storms. Suprisingly however, unlike most other MOBAs, the higher levels aren’t as salty, and are harder to find. It’s like a complete opposite of League of Legends. I remember my first days being awful, yet nowadays you get the occasional, “OMG, THIS TEAM IS ♥♥♥♥♥♥ AF”, and everyone just tells him to shut up. In fact, a lot of people later on are very nice for whatever reason. It makes me very glad that as people grow up, they become wiser, more polite, and more positive than before. Then again, that’s just my experience, your results may vary.
3. LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI!
You see this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥? He is going to be the bane of your existence. If you have to fight a Loki in your early levels, the time you have is going to be quite bad. Your gonna need a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ teleport to keep him from ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ destroying you. I am talking scorched earth ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥! He will massacre you. HE WILL ♥♥♥♥ YOU UP! That is until later on. Once you get a grip on how things work, Loki isn’t that much of a problem. Your first few times however, are gonna suuuuccckkkkk.
4. Getting Masteries
Well, you kept playing that one god for a while, and now you got a mastery level on him. Alright, feels pretty sweet right? In the beginning it does, but as time goes on, you’ll realize that masteries are pointless. For one, getting a mastery level on a god doesn’t do much besides unlock the ability to purchase the gold skin, and letting people know you played them a bit. Thing is though, you get worshippers when you lose, meaning just cause you have a mastery, it doesn’t mean your good. Plus, when you buy one of the mastery skins, it shows your stats, so you better pray you are doing well, otherwise you just look like a joke. Also the god mastery level on your profile just shows how many gods you played for like 10 matches. It’s cool when you max the level out, but don’t get too cocky. I have seen level 10 Lokis that have thrown games. I have seen a level 1 Ymir absolutely dominate a level 8 Kukulkan. Just ignore masteries, unless they show that they have good stats. Trust me, nobody gives a ♥♥♥♥ about masteries later on.
5. In The Jungle, The Mighty Jungle
Well ♥♥♥♥, you were too late when calling lanes and are now stuck in the jungle. I mean, realistically you would be stuck as support, but for the sake of this part let’s say you are stuck as jungle. If you don’t know what the hell you are doing, then you are screwed. Being a jungler is hard, and it’s even harder when your against someone who can counter jungle easily *COUGH* LOKI *COUGH* AO KUANG *COUGH*….ow my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ lungs. Anyway, if your going to play conquest regularly, learn how to jungle, as it will become vital later on. Now I know what your asking, “But what god do I possibly pick”? The answer is simple. ANYONE. ABSOLUTELY ANYONE. As it turns out, everyone can jungle pretty well, and people are experimenting all the time. I one time was playing with my friends and saw a Jungle Hercules. We starting chanting,” HERC, HERC, HERC OF THE JUNGLE, WATCH OUT FOR THAT HERC”! It was great. Jungle in this game is way more simple compared to other MOBAs, but be warned, you are the driving force for EVERYTHING. You need to gank lanes at the right time, and everyone hates a jungler who doesn’t gank correctly. Also, if you ♥♥♥♥ up and do a bad gank, you are dead. Also, if people become too fed, they will PURPOSELY HUNT YOU DOWN. Since you don’t level up at the same pace everyone else does, if you are being tracked down, both you and your team are screwed. On the opposite side of the spectrum, if you do good, you become the scariest person to the enemy team. Being ganked by a high level jungler is an insanely terrifying fear most laners have. One good gank, and your lane is gone. Jungle is high risk, but very high reward.
6. Skin Collecting
Smite is a f2p game, meaning that there are cosmetic items you can buy. These skins provide no in game benefit, and are just model and voice changes. However, you will start to obsess over these skins. When you get good, you feel like you need the skins. It’s hard to explain. Getting these skins turns into a competition between friends. I have 80 skins as of writing this, and I have sunk almost 300 dollars into the game. That’s another thing, the price. One 400 gem skin will cost you 8 dollars. 8 DOLLARS. It isn’t the best use of your money. But why get the skins then? It’s like taking a placebo. Just having the skins makes you feel way more professional than people without them. Having them is a real confidence booster. Is it worth the price? No, it is not. However, it’s just nice to have them. I don’t really care how you spend your money however, so just do what the ♥♥♥♥ you want.
7. That One God
After having played the game a bit, you start to notice a pattern between the people you face. You start to know which gods you do good against, which ones you have trouble with, which ones you work well with, etc. However, you also notice that one god in particular, no matter where they are in the game, is an omen of terrible things to come. Everyone has that one god. When they are on your team, they seem to suck more than then when Overkill decided to put new jumping animations as a milestone goal in Payday 2. No, I’m not going for the more obvious one. And when they are on the other team, all of a sudden they become the sequel to Jesus. He then throws the game by dying to Fire Giant because he feels bad for you. HE DIED FOR YOUR SINS. Weirdly enough, that god for me is Cupid. I have no idea why. On our team, he’ll do something like 3 right into a Hades ult because he thought he could kill him, and on the other team, he knows exactly when the perfect oppertunity is for a good 3 to 1 combo, with a perfectly placed ult when everyone is stunned. There is only one thing I can say when you find the god that you hate playing with the most. He’s gonna be that way for a while. Since you are so used to them being really annoying, you start doing worse since that’s usually what happens. However, when you surpass that god, the feeling is glorious.
8. To Catch a Smurf
For anyone new to MOBAs, the term “Smurf” is used to talk about a high leveled and high skilled player that creates a new account to kick the ass of players lower than he is. THEY IS…THEY IS. I need to keep everybody equal otherwise Tumblr will get on my ass about being a mysogynist. Then again now everybody here is gonna yell at me for making an unoriginal joke. Either way I’m ♥♥♥♥♥♥. Anyway, I didn’t make this section to talk about how Smurfs are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, which they are, or how they were put in there matchmaking for a reason, which they were, but for one major reason. STOP USING SMURFS AS AN EXCUSE FOR AN ENEMY DOING WELL! This might annoy me more then it should, but people can’t accept the fact that some people are good at vidya games. Sometimes people are better than you get over it. Now as for the Smurfs themselves, well why don’t you take a seat over there. You mind telling me what your doing here?….You came looking for low levels to ♥♥♥♥ up? Underleveled players? I’m afraid you’re going to jail. Well, more like the recess in my mind I use to put the people I silently judge super hard. On a side note, I just read this section back to myself, and I literally made a Tumblr article…..I really am a 13 year old white girl aren’t I?
9. Playing Assault
The Conclusion?
And that’s all I have to say for now. It’s getting late as of writing this, and i’m getting tired. I will add more to this guide if I come up with anything else, but be sure to let me know what you guys think of this guide. I hope to do this with multiple games, so your feedback would be very nice to me. Put in the comments ideas for more sections, things I screwed up, or Ideas for other guides (ones in my library of course). Thanks for reading, and have fun playing Smite!
