Overview
Do you want to be known as the biggest assh0le ever? Do you want to impress the ladies with your awesome(nauts) ranking? Do you want to say to your parents: ‘Hey! I’m actually number one at something!’?Well then look no further than this SMEXY guide on how to get rating. You know you want to.
Introduction
Hey there friend! You actually clicked on this guide! Well done. Now that you understand the basics of Steam, now is your chance to shine with this fantastic guide on how to get your name on the leaderboards of broken glory!
DISCLAMER: THIS PROBABLY WON’T WORK. PLEASE DON’T SUE ME. <3 ~~~
Whilst you scroll down this guide, please play this soothing lift music for your pleasure.
Step One: Buy Awesomenauts Copies
Use your dad’s credit card to buy at least one copy of Awesomenauts although two would be even better. Unfortunately, if you can’t afford to do this, you can either:
- Wait for the next Steam sale to come along to smuggle a cheap copy.
- Beg on the forums for a free copy from a kind individual.
- If Lady Luck shines, there may be a cheaper copy on the internet.
- Or you could ask your ‘friends’ to trade.
Any of these tactics will get you a copy in no time!
Step Two: Get Some Friends
This is probably the hardest step to complete since you most likely have none and you may have to go outside to do this.
When you have done this, continue scrolling.
Step Three: Team Up With Your Current League Nine Friends For An Online Session!
Since the leaderboards are very exploitable at this stage, ‘boosting’ is a common tactic used by tryhards to get their name to number ONE.
Boosting involves you pairing up with your league nine buddies and joining matches with other league nines to skyrocket up the leaderboards. You get credit by ‘carrying’ your buddies in this online match.
Just do this many times to get get number ONE!
Step Kind-of Four: Snipe!
Sniping involves you and possibly, your friends joining a session that the team you join, either red or blue, is currently winning and gaining the credit for quote-on-quote ‘winning’. You can also do this with a losing game by joining the losing side and turning the game around so you win.
Get it? Got it? Good. Now finally:
Step Actual Four: Call Your Parents
Call your parents and tell them about your new achievements! They probably won’t care but, who cares? Now every single member of the Awesomenauts Community will love you and worship you for the rest of your life.
It’s a shame that the leaderboards will reset in a few weeks…
Conclusion
Now I have athritis, it’s time to end this guide here.
Thanks for reading everyone! Now go out there and make me proud. Scrubs.
