A response to a rather ludicrous review

This is really difficult to read, is this bait?

Ahem, please bear in mind that I am still playing through DD on hardmode with this rant of a comment.
-But I digress, there's no dodge feature in this game yes, but that makes it require more skill in my opinion as you have to be aware of the time your attack animations lock movement as you don't have the convenience of invincibility frames to bail you out of danger.
-You do not have to grind for a good weapon, the game generally has the right weapon for the area you will generally be in for that stage available to you at all times elemental attacks are really important. And if you want high quality gear that will last until end game then give the blacksmith the gold idol when he gives you the sidequest, wiki for information on that.
-Complaining about no animations for healing items sounds kind of ridiculous and I believe you are transposing a little bit too much of dark souls in this game. And why would you want animations for the healing items when all your attacks restrict your movement already? Also why use apples? Just stock up on potent greenwarish that stuff is cheap and more effective.
-I actually believe the armor system in DD is pretty nice, you get what you get, it makes you feel like a god at higher levels while still allowing higher level enemies to curb stomp you in the blink of an eye. And also it does have % damage reductions, each armor piece has a piercing and blunt resistance value outside of base armor.
-If you are worried about no lock on then play mage/sorcerer their spells have a sort of soft lock on. If you are playing any other class however and you are having issues keeping track of enemies, either up your camera sensitivity or get a fighter pawn with guardian as a primary ai behavior.
-No, just no the pawns are not idiots, if you are playing with pawns made by people who don't know how abilities and behavior settings work together then yes they are absolutely godawful and should be thrown off the nearest cliff face otherwise they are really powerful and helpful.
-The story and end game do make sense, you're a dude who got his heart literally stolen by a dragon, while this makes you immortal it also makes you the dragon's slave in a sense, you are not fighting for any reason outside of freeing yourself from the dragon for the most part. Only after this do you find out the true purpose of the dragon's existence and must confront the reality of your destiny .
-I actually don't even know how to respond to this one, have you actually spent your time exploring gransys?
-How is the portcrystal system hard? They give you an eternal ferrystone when you finish the first mission for the duke, you can literally teleport between portcrystals as much as you like and you naturally discover about 4 moveable portcrystals through standard gameplay. And it's very useful, if you want easy access to group curatives put a port crystal down next to one of the many healing springs and bottle those suckers up between runs, this is also cheaper than the potent green warish but has a higher weight behind it.
-Ok.... Ok. First off, I'm just going to leave a link to the dragon's dogma wiki character section here [dragonsdogma.wikia.com] because it would take way too long to list off everything there as I approach the character limit now.

At this point, my rant is over, and I am extremely confident that this entire review is just bait.