How to Attack Like a Pro (3 ways)

5 Tony's

Step 1: Walk out of spawn

Step 2: Walk back into spawn

Step 3: Spawn is life

Step 4: Be brave and walk out of spawn again

Step 5: Find some Diamonds to make armour

Step 6: The build phase is over since you looked for diamonds

Step 7: Diamonds are in enemy cube dumb dumb

Step 8: DIAMONDS

Step 9: You now have all the Diamonds but the game is broken; a big VICTORY sign is blocking the screen >:( I NEED MORE DIAMONDS

Step 9.5: WAIT A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SECOND.........

Step 10: There is always a step 10

This strategy follows the triple A loadout

A Russian
A Spanish
A Merican

Step 1: Russian person speak russian

Step 2: Spanish person Speak Spanish

Step 3: Merican person ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at them despite they are speaking their natural language

Step 4: Russian person tunnels, Spanish person Solo defends, Merican person is still in spawn ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at the Russian and the Spanish

Step 5: Merican person finally attacks

Step 6: Merican Person Suicide rushes

Step 7: Merican person gets ass handed to him

Step 8: Merican person quits

Step 9: The Irish person wins the game for the team

Step 9.5: The Irish person is actually Uppish

Step 10: There is always a step 10

This strategy is the most intense so beware....

Step 1: Spend about 5 minutes making cuts (♥♥♥♥ defenses)

Step 2: Run to the last cube and spam ALL DEM BOMBS

Step 3: ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ announcer, I know what I'm doing

Step 4: CAMP AT ENEMY SPAWN

Step 5: sadly, you suck at the game and cannot master the art of camping ;n;

Step 6: Build a Bridge to the enemy spawn

Step 7: Your bridge is gone

Step 8: all hope is lost

Step 9: HACKS

Step 9.5: Valve has banned your account but at least you won a match :D

Step 10: We always need a step 10