Overview
Are u tired of being a spineless little ***** in your smite career? Well this is the guide for u m8.
1. A new begining
First of all , if u want to be a man in smite u must and i do mean must watch these youtube videos:
Now that u have watched these educational and inspirational videos u are ready for the next big step:
DROP ALL GOD THAT DON’T HAVE A BEARD / OR AREN’T WARRIORS (although some guardians and assasins are fine ) .
Next u have to know what gods will fill the match with testosterone right? I ‘ve got u covered, these manly men are ( their orders doesn’t matter really) :
1st man : Hercules
2nd man: Chaac
3rd man: Bacchus
4th man: Guan’s
5th man ( and the most noobish if not played whitin the man game): odin
6th man: Osiris
7th man: Ravana
8th man : Thor
9th man: Tyr
10th man: Cu Chulainn
11th man: Ymir
12th man: Ares
13th man: Kumba
This means that u will have to man up and give up: on spineless assassins like loki, on easy warriors like bellona, on smelly monkeys like sun wukong,on stupid supports like Fapnir , on juicy healers like hel, on press left mouse to win ADCs and most importantly no mages allowed ( looking at u ho bo).
After mastering these 13 gods u will notice that your balls have grown to be double their original diameter !! Congrats your are almost there, only 2 more sections before u can join the church of chaac and be part of the Man club
2. Proper manly behavior and the manly mentality
Well you can’t just run around and display your manliness/ skill( their the same tbh) without knowing how to properly behave.
Step 1
While in the god selection screen , inform your team that you are a man and that the solo lane will now be know as the man lane.
Step 2
Don’t forget to call your team8s out for using ♥♥♥♥♥ gods like poseidon , he bo , anubis, ganesha and the least manly of all, hunters. After they choose a man or at least a manlier god than these 4 gods and the category listed previously say that they are awsome for it takes guts to get out of your confort zone.
Step 3
Proceed to intimidate your lane opponent by taunting and laughing. Also if u find to opportunity to pm them , do say that they r filthy casuls that need to learn how to play and that they will be man handled for the rest of the game.
Step 4
After dominating your opponent/s by killing them or winning the game take some time to enjoy your hard work , during this time u may feel the urge to taunt or laugh at their corpse, don’t worry this is perfectly normal and is encouraged by yours trully.
3. The man build
Relics/Actives
First of all we have got to discuss your relics, as these are the easiest to understand.So no ♥♥♥♥♥ items like beads , horrific emblem,sprint, shell or the noob friendly aegis, the first and only relic for men is blink nad blink alone so u can make those juicy plays and then laugh when your enemies die because they are not manly enough, after blink buy thorns so that the amount of testosterone kills them without you doing anything, cursed ankh is also a good choice for healers .
For the majority of physical men
Starting out
U want boots asap , so blueball stone and boots is fine, then buy 4 of each pot because man handling **** takes a toll on your mana and health and finally buy blink.
Offense
Jotun’s is your best friend, also consider getting titans if u feel like showing your adc what is man dmg.
Shifters, very good indeed but can be swapped for other things like masamune or frostbound.
Defence
Breast. of valor is usually a must since even men gotta look pretty, cooldown always helps but hide the nemean lion really kicks in in the late game.
Genji’s is a good cost efective item if you are up against some low level pleb using magic dmg on the man lanes.
Mytical mail is a men’s favourite of course.
Bullwark and/ or pestilence are good choices if their puny mages arent incompetent.
Some men prefer the softer side of smite and choose to go with magic gods
Starting out
Boots for sure plus pots , nothing unusual.
Offence
Rod of tahuti, poly, soul reaver and ethereal staff should do the trick.
Defence
Basically everything i have listed for the physical gods will work as w
4. Ready to rock the man badge
So now you think that u are a full fleged man? WRONG!!
One may know what gods are manly and what gods need to be bashed to oblivion
One may even know what type of build a man like myself would do
One can even behave like a proper man and fill the air around oneself with manliness
But nobody can be a man without whatching the Man Game video at least a thousand times
Thank you for collaboration my manly men , you are know ready to be unleashed but always remeber to set your profile to public so others can be inspired / feared by your manliness.Also do spread the word of this guide , it is true that not everyone is born to be a man but at least one must try. Cheers!
ps: Low-Rez , nerf everything but warriors ok?