How to not die (v2)

So, before you read this guide, I want you to know that this is a JOKE guide. It mostly contains real info, but I've inserted a lot of bad jokes, typos, and errors. I had someone (Who will not be named) in the comments become very irritated, obviously thinking this guide was serious, which it is not. In conclusion, if typos, errors, and bad jokes offend/irritate you, this guide is not for you.
For a more serious guide, go to How To Not Die v3
Sincerely,
The Author

Ps.
Also, pretty obviously there will be Spoilers. So, yeah.

Pss.
I updated the guide to match the new story updates.

PSSS.
Stroke Warning.

Sooo you gotta avoid the fat leviathans. They is mean and want to eat you. Plus the hidden crocs/ cryptosuchus, they are also mean and will yeet you out of existence. You are SNACC! So avoid the leviathans and stuff because they are very mean. Be careful when RIDING VERY FAST on ice with your snowfox!! cause the ice worms will eat you and blow your bike up. Dont steal penglings, because their mom and dad will not be the much happy. It is just a bad idea. Al-Ans voice will soothe you and guide you, but you may have to part with him. If it does come to this, you have to.you will have to. go take deep deep dive to the ocean liiiiiife (best jukebox song change my mind) to find alien facilitattiritititiitititiitiiy and build new alan body. but you do have to scan his body parts (NOT THAT KIND DONT DEMONITIZE ME) Plus, when walking up mountain paths and through old rusty bases, watch your back. Something might happen. As in GET JUMPED BOI happens. So watch your back. Or die. But don't die. Make sure you can breath the air, if not you drown and that it much bad. Also maybe save every 5 seconds because YOU CANT DIE IF GAME DO NOT KNOW!!! Game: did u die. You: no i not die. Game: well i dont see no die so ye. iT wOrKs!!!!!!!!!!! Trust me. If you don't want to escape planet or progress story then you can just chill in your lifepod eating peepers and stuff. Just be careful the peepers don' bite you. Also its probably a good idea to hijack the satelite tower dingy with the testicle i mean test override module and sabotage security from alterra. y u watch me u creepys. There's a crashed ship you gotta steal da stuff from and now you can talk sabodage said tower. Robin was the impostor. yay! Margureuit Maida is alive you know cool person from first game. you sabotage comms and then marguerit maida help you but she may know things that she doesnt wanna give them up or let them down
(insert never gonna give you up by rick astley here) so where's that gonna lead? Maybe she will Rick Roll you. Who knows? So yeah also maybe get a seatruck and when you drive it dont forget to WEAR UR SEATBELT!!! also eat your veggetables they is good 4 u