How to S*x Metal Ball

Portal 2★ 4 · 241 ratings5.1k views129 favorites1 min readby Bloody-Eyed PyroUpdated Jul 25, 2022View on Steam ↗

Step 1.

Find a place to s*d*ce Metal Ball; Metal Ball usually likes not being called a "moran". That way, you should tell him to enter a room or else you will call him a "moran" for the rest of eternity. If he doesn't agree, ******* kill him!

Step 2.

Let him sleep with you tonight. That way, in the morning, you can both s*x each other! If Metal Ball thinks it's weird, drop him into the Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator and listen to him burn into a crisp. Yum yum.

Step 3.

Invite Cave Johnson to join in on the fun. Now, if this Cave Johnson doesn't WANT to s*x Metal Ball, then invite a Cave from a parallel universe. But be careful; some Cave Johnsons are too hot for Steam.

Step 4.

After you're done, realize that s*xing Metal Ball is pointless because you are a loser who has a fudged up fantasy about s*xing Metal Ball. I mean, seriously, HE'S A METAL BALL, AND YOU WANT TO S*X HIM?! JEEBUS SAID THAT S*XING METAL BALL IS A SIN, AND ANYONE WHO EVEN THINKS ABOUT DOING IT WILL GO DOWN TO THE BOTTOMLESS PITS OF HELL! REJOICE WITH ME AND BURN ROBOTS AT THE STAKE!