Da Orkz guide to Dakka n Choppa!

Nowz ye gitz, ta be da orkiest of da 'umies, youz gotz ta getz ya Choppa. Wot youz sayin'? Youz don't have a Choppa!? Wot excuse for an Ork you be?! Youz be lucky da Warboss want new Boyz! Becuz I bez one of da orkiest Orkz in da WAAAAGH! I'z gonna giv' ya a fine and proppa Choppa!

Dere' Ye go, ya Git! Nowz, you gotz ta know 'ow ta use da Choppa! Nowz, da choppa iz a 'ery 'portant part of da Orky Arsenal! Ya seez, when ya take your Choppa and drive it through daemons dey drops more of da Loota! Da loota help ya stay alive, by makin' da daemons drop more Health n' Ammo for ya Dakka! Though every Orky Orkboyz knowz, dat when ya use your Choppa to much ya Choppa stop workin'! Dis because ya Choppa needz da gas to Choppa! Youz betta' rememba', da Choppa uses more Gas to hack appart da bigga Daemons! Nowz you betta' not forget it, ya Gitz!

Da Slugga iz da first dakka most Ork Boyz use in da battles. In da DOOM, dis rule 'az no 'xceptionz.

Youz 'ee, Da Slugga 'ight just bez a Slugga to most Boyz, but to a real right n proppa Ork knowz dis Slugga is different. Haz sometin' speciul 'bout it. Dat sometin speciul be dat da Slugga 'as a speciul charge shoota. Dis makes da Slugga do 'ome extra damage, 'apable of blowing off da 'eads of da little Daemons. But even afta all da tings da Slugga can do, da Slugga has anuda speciul 'bility.

Ya see Boyz, youz got dez tings called 'weapon upgrades', but I like ta call em 'Dakka Points'. If youz got enuf Dakka Points, youz get ta upgrade ya dakka. Afta yaz get enuf Dakka Points, youz get da Mastery Challenge forz da 'eapon youz be usin'. Da 'xact tings ya need for dis 'eapon to get da mastery are as foll'as:

Charge 'Fficiency: Decreases da time it takes for ya 'Arged Energa Shot.

Quick 'Covery: Decreases da 'covery time for da Slugga after ya use da 'Arged Energa Shot.

'Ight Weight: Move at 'ull speed when using da 'Arged Energa Shot.

Increased Powa: Increases da max powa of da 'Arged Energa Shot, 'sulting in 'igher damage patential.

Nowz, diz be da favored 'eapon of any Boyz lookin' ta 'ake a big boom. Da Boomstikk iz a 'ery speciul 'eapon, cuz it 'az two modz. Da first mod I'z recommendz iz da 'Splosive Shot. Cuz da 'Splosive shot is da best choice for any Boyz goin' up against da Daemons 'till youz wanna up n' fight da Bigga Boyz. Nowz, ta Dakka Upgrades for dis 'eapon are az foll'as:

'Peedy 'Covery: Reduces da 'charge time 'tween da 'Splosive Shots.

Bigga Boom: Increases da size of da 'Splosion. Real good, dis one!

Insta' Load: Removes da loadin' time for da 'Splosive Shot.

Clusta Strike: 'Etting a direct 'it wit da 'Splosive Shot will 'pawn Clusta Bombz ta deal extra 'Amage.

Nowz da 'udda mod for da Boomstikk. Da Boomstikk also 'az a 'Arged Burst, which 'akes da Shoota fira three shots 'stead-a one. Nowz, dis be real good for da bigga Boyz dem Daemons got. Dis real eazy ta stagga da Big Daemons wit, allowing dat Glorah Kill. Da Dakka Upgrades for da 'eapon are az foll'as:

'Peedy 'Covery: Reduces da 'charge time 'tween da bursts.

'Apid Fira: Increases da Firaa 'Ate of da burst.

'Ick Load: Redcues da loadin' time for da burst.

Powah Shot: 'Ccessfully 'itting all three shots of da burst will 'crease da 'amage of da next burst. Da 'ffect does not stack.

Ah, da Zzap Gun. Nowz, dis be a gud 'weapon if youz be wantin' da teef! Da Zzap Gun firas da blue 'pheres dat combine a 'lectricity and Flama 'eapon tah-getha! Da firstz mod da Zzap Gun 'az is da 'Eat Blast. Nowz, dis iz 'eal gud dis one. Youz get ta DAKKA away wit da fing', den when da glowy cube on da gun go up and 'urn red, da Zzap Gun release a real 'ig wave a 'Eat dat killz all da small fings'. Da Dakka Upgrades are az Foll'as:
Supa 'Eated 'Ounds: Shots from da Zapp Gun now build up da 'Eat much fasta.

'Proved Ventin'z: 'Nigicantly reduces da 'eapon's 'covery from a 'Eat Blast.

'Xpanded 'Reshold: 'Creases da amount of 'Eat that can be contained, 'sulting in more potentia' damage.

'Eated Core: Generate 'Eat passively 'out needin' ta spend ammo.

Da best mod for da Zapp Gun is da Stun Bomb fa' sure. Nowz, dis one iz a good 'protunity ta make da teef, so pay 'ttention. When ya uze da Stun Bomb, ya stun da Daemons. Eazy ta 'memba. Whenz dey stunned, ya can 'lail on em all ye wantz til' it wearz off. Whenz dey stunned, I rekommend youz take dem teef. Bets dey worth lots o' Dakka! Da Dakka Upgrades are az Foll'as:

'Uick 'Charge: Stun Bomb 'charges much fasta.

Bigga Shock: 'Creases da size of da Stun Bomb detonatiun.

Longa Stun: Daemons 'it by da Stun Bomb 'ill stay stunned for da longa time.

Chaina Stun: Daemons krumped 'ile stunned 'ill 'lease a 'econdary stun detoanatiun dat 'ffects nearby Daemons.

Nowz, dis be a good n' proppa dakka right 'ere! Da Shoota iz a 'eal big gun, dat does da Dakka real quick like. And da first upgrade iz rekommendz; da 'Actical Scope. Nowz, da 'ext ting I tellz ya iz importantz. Da 'Actical Scope 'centrates ya dakka hose ta be a real long 'ange 'eapon, and gits even betta if ya upgrade it. Speakin of da upgrades, da Dakka Upgrades are az Foll'as:

'Ranium 'Oating: Dakka fired while ya zoomed in will 'enetrate through gitz.

Skull Cracka: Dakka fired while zoomed in dealz 'dditional 'eadshot 'amage. Real good, dis one!

'Ight 'Eight: Move fasta when ya zoomed in wit da 'Cope.

Devastata 'Ounds: Munitionz 'ired while 'oomed use da 'xperimental 'eavy 'amage 'ounds.

Da Micro-'issles Launcha. Iz real good for ya 'Sploda Boyz out dere. Wot dis duz, iz it adds a 'eal gud tiny 'splosive launcha on ya gun. Dis allows ya ta load up ta six micro-'issiles ta fire at ye enenimez! Iz ta 'eal gud one dis iz, and you'z be knowin' why when i'z say da mastery of dis 'eapon. Da Dakka Upgrades are az Foll'as:

Ammo 'Fficient: 'Duces da ammo cost of Micro-'Issiles.

'Vanced Loada: 'Reatly 'proves da 'loadin time for da Micro-'Issiles.

'Ick Launcha: 'Stantly activates da Micro-'Issiles rack on ya 'eapon.

'Ottomless 'Issiles: Micro-'Issiles can be fired indefinatela witout 'quiring a reloadin'. 'Eal DAKKA!

Dis 'ere is ya 'splosive 'eapon! A rite n' proppa Rokkit Launcha! Nowz, dis one gives a 'eal good krumpin' ta da Daemons, even da Big Boyz! Da first mod I'z recommendz is da Lock-On. Dis letz da Git usin' it ta lock'on-ta daemons ta fira three rokkits! Iz 'eal good at takin' out da Big Boyz do to da raw 'amage it doez. Da Dakka Upgradez are as Foll'as:

'Uick Lock: Lock onta Daemons much fasta.

Fasta 'Covery: Da time before anotha lock is lowa'd.

Mutli-Targetin': Da lock on now supports up ta three 'argets. Rokkits divded 'mongst da 'stablished locks.

Compared to da Lock-on, it 'oesn't do dat much 'amage til' you get some Dakka Upgrades. Da 'Mote Detonata allows a Git ta 'ause da Rokkit ta 'splode before it krumps anyone, so if ye gitz miss, ya can detonate da rokkit an' still 'it da target for a krumpin'! Nowz az I said, da 'grades 'eally make dis 'eapon shine rite n' proppa, so da Dakka Upgrades are as foll'as:

'Proved 'Arhead: Usin' 'Mote Detonata will 'engerate a larga rokkit 'splosion.

'Agged Shrapnal: Daemons dat are 'it by da 'Mote Detonata 'ill be pierced wit 'dittional shrapnal and 'tinue ta take 'amage for a short while.

'Ternal Payload: 'Splosives now mounted 'round da rokkit, 'llowing a 'Mote Detonata ta occur without 'stroying da 'jectile.

Bigga dakka, less 'splosives. Da Twin-linked Boomstikk iz a 'ferred 'eapon of da Boyz, do ta da double barrel it haz. 'Adly doh, da Twin Boomstikk haz no 'eapon mods, but 'stead 'az raw 'grades to itself for 'aximum krumpin'! If only da Twin Boomstikk could 'ave more 'splosives. Da Dakka Upgrades on da 'eapon are as foll'as:

'Asta 'Loadin: Decreasin' da time ta load 'ext shot.

'Ranium Coatin': Shots 'enetrate through gitz.

Doulba Trouble: 'Ire twice wit da Twin Boomstikk 'fore havin' ta 'load.

Da Big Shoota. Da 'Umies call dis 'eapon a "Chain Gun", but dat makin' it 'ound all boring. So'z, we callin' dis Da Big Shoota, or know ta me n' da boyz, da 'Aximum Dakka! Da first Mod we'z lookin' at iz da 'Atling Rotata. Nowz, dis not da best on Da Big Shoota, but it doez itz job well enuf. Wot dis doez is 'llows Da Big Shoota's barrel ta rotate before ya see da Daemons for da Krumpin'. Dakka Upgrades are as foll'as:
'Proved Torqua: 'Nificantly 'creases da spin up speed of da 'Atling Rotata.

'Ranium Coatin': Dakka 'enetrates through Gitz.

'Cendiary 'Ounds: Dakka dealz 'ore 'amage when Da Big Shoota reachez da Max Fiya 'ate.

Nowz, da best mod for da Big Shoota. Da reazon us Boyz call it da 'Aximum Dakka! Da 'Obile 'Urret! Dis 'east of a gun iz a hose a' dakka, able ta chop down da biggest of boyz wit eaze. Doh, I can't sayz dat youz will haz enuf ammoz ta keep it goin' foreva. I tink 'dere be a Rune for dat... Egh, anywayz, da Dakka Upgrades for dis 'eapon iz as foll'as:

'Apid 'Ployment: 'Rastically 'creases da transformationz time for da 'Obile 'Urret.

'Ranium Coatin': Dakka 'enetratez through Gitz.

Ultimate coolinz': Da 'Obile 'Urret 'ode willz no longa stall. Dis one iz da best for da Boyz!

Da Shokk Attack Gun iz a tru' 'xample of Zappa and Shokk 'eapons, 'side from da Big Zappa a'course. Da first mod for da Shokk Attack Gun iz da 'Recision Bolt, ta be 'onest doh, I dun quite rekommend dis az da mod ya git. Da next mod iz da mod youz want ta git first, iz 'eal good dat one. Da Dakka Upgrades ta git are as foll'as:

'Nergy 'Fficient: 'Duced time ta Max 'Arge 'nd 'duced time 'tween Dakka.

'Ight 'Eight: 'Ove at 'Ull speed when 'oomed in. Paintin' it red!

'Olatile 'Charge: Daemons krumped by da 'Recision Bolt will 'xplode, 'ealing 'mage ta 'earby Daemons.

Dis bez da best for krumpin' if yez be usin' Da Shokk Attack Gun. Da 'Eige 'Ode of Da Shokk Attack Gun 'llows da Git dat usin' it ta 'ompletley destroy anyting dey point at it. Able to even insta-krump some of da Big Boyz. Da Mekboys needz ta 'urry up and mount dis 'ting onta one of da Deffcruisers. Da Dakka Upgrades ta git are as foll'as:

'Outa Beam: Da Beam now haz a devastatin' area o' effect 'roundz it.

ra'duced Charga Time: Beam charga time iz ra'duced.

'Obile Siege: 'Llows 'ovement whilez usin' da 'Iege Mode.

Do 'ta popula' demand, I 'ad ta go to da Warboss 'n ask if I could do da guide on Da Big Zappa. Afta' a gatherin' of da Grots, we 'ad ourselves a good firin' test. None of da Grots survived da blast of Dakka. But 'afta dat, I was beat right ova' da head. Da Warboss expected me ta do Da Big Zappa in da guide! Now dat me 'ead is less of a dent, I bring you Da Big Zappa!

Da Mighty Dakka Cannon. Da Big Zappa. Nowz, youz not gunna git Da Big Zappa for a long while. Cuz da 'Umie develapa people tink dat would be to "Ova Powad". I haz no idea wot dis word mean, but it sound offensiv' to da Orkz! Nowz, back ta buiznus. Da Big Zappa haz da speciul munitionz. Da speciul minitionz be dez tiny glowy green orbs. Nowz, you can tell Da Big Zappa is da best because it be glowing green! Dat be really Orky! Now ta just paint it red, and ta see wot would 'appen! But to go inta detail on Da Big Zappa, when ya fire da mass of Dakka, a large glowy green sphere blastz out. Any of ya enemies dat be in da blast 'adius will be struck with a constant zappy beam of pure Dakka energyz! But da real jewel of da Zappa, iz when it strikes da enemies or da 'viornment. Da Big Zappa sphere makes a big boom! Da boom can put da biggest Orky weaponz to shame! Dis iz why every Ork needs dem a Big Zappa. Nowz dat you know of da Big Zappa, youz betta go n' try ta git one.

Nowz, dere isn't much ta say 'bout da Krakka. Da Krakka youz get reel early on, and iz pretty gud for da crowd ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Thoughz, dere iz one 'raw back to'z da Krakka 'eal early on, an' dat be dat it takez a while ta 'charge right n' proppa.

Uh, if we'z got any of dem Kommando types lookin' at dis, Da 'Ollo 'Nade be da one forz ya. Da 'Ollo 'Nade 'parrently 'leases sum 'ar-gone" gas or sumtin ta create da 'ologram of sum of da Ork Boyz. Nowz all wez got ta do iz paint da 'ologram purple, den dey be invisible ta da Daemons. Tho' da front line Orkz got no needz for da 'Ollo, for dere be some many Boyz dat dere' not point makin' one dat can't Dakka!

Dis one be reel gud for da front line Boyz. Dis 'ere is Da 'Iphon 'Nade, and itz gunta keep ya alive right n proppa, witout da need of one of dem Painboyz. Da 'Iphon 'Nade iz reel eazy ta use, for all ya needz ta do is throw it at da Gitz andz ya get some of da 'portant health! Nowz wit ya Orky regeneration and yaz 'Iphon 'Nadez, dez gonna need some 'eal big Dakka ta take ya down nowz!

Nowz, dis 'fing 'ere is da gift of Gork n' Mork. Da 'Zerker Powa! When one of da Boyz git their hands on dis Powa', you dun want ta git in iz way! Becuz, if one of ya gitz git in da way of one of dez Boyz, youz gonna be ripped in 'alf fasta den da Choppa chopps da Daemons!

But if one of ya Boyz git da 'Zerka, youz betta take da word of da Warboss! 'E say da 'Umies got dis, uh, 'Bludd God' ting. Woteva dat iz. 'E say iz bad for da 'Umie, make em turn on da Boyz and try ta kill da Warboss! Dez Boyz not da Boyz we want, so if ya get a 'Zerka, ya betta be Orky or da WAAAAGH! is gunna be on ya!

Nowz dis be one of da best daemon slaya weaponz dere iz. Da Quad 'Amage allowz yer Dakka ta dish out four timez da 'amage towardz ya enemiez. Nowz, throuhz my testin' da Choppa didn't 'ppear ta have any extra killa powa. Butz I guess da Choppa dun't need dat; it already killz evryting. Iz recommendz ya use Da Big Zappa whenz you getz it, krumpz everything good n' proppa it doez.

Wellz, if youz be one of dem fast boyz, youz gun ta like dis one. Da Quikky 'Phere 'llows yer Dakka to be fasta, and allz ya needz ta do nowz iz ta paint it Red! Denz it gun ta be da fastiest dakka in da world, it iz! Nowz da fing is, it doez increase da Dakka Rate, but it doez increase da ammo consumptiun. Datz wai you gotz ta be carefulz ya do. Ohz, and it 'llowz ya ta go fasta, but da Dakka iz da real reashun it iz.

Nowz, if ya boyz find dis on da field, youz got ta git dis if yaz dieing. No Painboyz needed 'ere; Da Mega 'Phere healz ya up n' fixes ya arma'! It even healz ya past your general Orky health, makin' ya a rite n' proppa killin' machine ya are! But makez sure ya giv it ta da Boyz who need it if youz not alonez, iz important ta keep all da Boyz alive.

Da final 'fing on dis guide 'ere is da bestest powa up. Da Invulrabilitiyz 'fingy. Wit dis youz are impervius ta all 'amage da Daemons can deal ta ya. Iz real gud if yaz goin' ta da Daemon's diemensiun, cuz dere be so many Big Boyz 'ere dat iz 'ard ta walk 'round safely.

Dis guide wuz made ta 'elp bringing in da boyz so we'z can beat back da Daemons! Wez even got diz 'Umie Boy 'ere ta do da typin' so we won't need doz Mechboyz ta do dis! But if yaz question whyz we'z got dis 'Umie Boy iz cuz he be'z pretty Orky for a 'Umie, and we'z dun need da Mechboyz ova 'ere ta do everyfing! If youz read dis, youz betta join da great WAAAAAAGH! ta beat up all da Daemons, cuz we'z Orkz be da best in da universe! WAAAAAAAAAAAGH!