The Key to Your Success

Now, this part of the guide is going to be pretty subjective. It's opinionated, but well thought out. I'm just gonna get right to the point and say ♥♥♥♥ all the classes except for..

ANecromancer
B. Fallen Paladin
C. Your mother

As much fun as it is playing your mother on this game, she doesn't have very high damage or good skills for that matter. So we're going to cross her off the list.

I. The very first class I chose was a Necro. Before all the patching and constant game changes, he was probably unarguably the best, most OP character in the game. However, his reputation still proceeds him to this very patch.
II. He's ranged, for one, which is beneficial in this game. Close combat has it's own pros and cons but for now, stick with the godammed ranged! You're just going to end up getting cornered and dying exceedingly fast.
III. He's got minion skills. Yep. You barely even have to fight or play the game yourself. Just spam the skeleton mages, warriors, and gargantuan and you're solid. Best of all, they completely annihilate bosses without your help. So you can sit back and be a little ♥♥♥♥♥ while your minions do all your dirty work. I. I'll be concise on this one, but this is a close combat class.
II. Heal and Regeneration like a MF. (You can see why it's popularly liked)
III. Diverse and unique skills which both account for healing, stamina, and damage, and overall just helps your class out 100%

Alright here's the need to know ♥♥♥♥.

"Haha wut? rly?"
Yes really, Jesus Christ. It's simple and it's fast, baby. When you're playing (Doesn't matter which Act or what wave), just hit the spacebar 5 to 6 times or however many you'll need to skip to the last wave. This makes things go by SO MUCH FASTER. Plus you can kill all the monsters pretty much in huge groups which make for awesome exp bank! :D I'm not even exaggerating. Relics were put in this game for a damn reason. Don't try to be the tough guy and go bare. Your worthless ass will be tossed like salad. There are obviously greater relics than others, and there is a cap of holding 35. So choose your relics carefully (In regards to knowing which relics do what, of course). Smoke up that Ganja and get your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ head in the game. There are both negative and positive potions and you do not want to miss out, son. The best part is, all potions recovered on a new game are unknown. Meaning, you don't know what the ♥♥♥♥ you're drinking until you test it. Try them all out honestly. You'll know which ones are good and bad for future references, and they give you pretty standard/mediocre handicaps if you get the good ones. Also statues. There are both Holy and Devil statues that may appear randomly after any wave. Sometimes they help out significantly. Sometimes they complete screw up your character's potential! "Y?"
Well, why the hell not. Relics, armor/weapon loot, gold, sex, you name it. If you want more Relics, I tend to go for the Crypts. Less annoying puzzles and ♥♥♥♥ to deal with. Keys are your ticket to unlocking secrets, right? Well let's put it this way: The gold chests are more attainable (more common) and hold very very fun rewards in them. Sometimes rare loot. Sometimes relics. Save your keys and use them on the golds.

If you just came for the exploits and secrets, then welcome!

Now a lot has come and gone sadly through the patches and updates. There used to be one where you could just simply press a button on the keyboard (Can't remember which one. Think it was 'V' before the portal came about) and you instantly leveled. Awh yeah that ♥♥♥♥ was the best. Spam v as much as you wanted and gain high levels with no cost or rebound.

But I digress...

It's not so much of an exploit as it is a fast and cheap way to get through the Acts without the boring wave by wave gameplay. It's how I used to farm my relics without hopelessly and miraculously gaining one. No. In this case all you do is...

1. Spam spacebar until last wave
2. If Crypt or Dungeon appear, go inside.
3. Get relic (optional) and leave dungeon/crypt
4. Kill last wave and boss
5. Repeat

You honestly get done with the stage in about 2-3 minutes rather than killing every wave one by one which can take up to a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 15 minutes before you're done. It's mainly used to get to the harder difficulties which you have to unlock by beating all the Acts on that difficult. Time saved. Relic/Loot gained. Yes yes.

Not the most efficient way of getting loot but it does help.

1. Go into crypt or dungeon (recommend Crypt)
2. Kill boss
3. Get loot/relic
4. Press "V" and activate portal. Go inside the portal back to the safe zone. Then go back in.
5. Restart Crypt or Dungeon
6. Repeat
   This however does not respawn relics anymore, so don't bother getting your hopes up for that.

Yeah this is the stuff you really want, and luckily for you, it hasn't been patched yet!

1. Beat Act until Throne Dungeon appears
2. Go in said Throne Dungeon
3. Kill Throne Dungeon Boss
4. Pick up Relic and loot but do NOT enter the portal
5. Save and Exit
6. Go back on character and you will restart the Throne Dungeon boss (With Relics!)

7. Repeat process and ejaculate strongly

And there you have it, Kingslayer. All the need to knows and the more to knows for this game. You will find that this guide will help your class reach the top marks, in both hardcore and regular campaign. However, know that at any moment some of these exploits or bugs can be patched and therefore the contents of this guide may not be relevant. But until then, ♥♥♥♥ it.

You just unlocked success, baby. I'm proud of you.