Facility Etiquette 101

For Class-D Personnel: Politely introduce yourself to fellow Class-Ds. A firm handshake is encouraged, though it is understandable if handcuffs complicate this. Engage in light conversation within the facility hallway. If you encounter a Scientist, offer a respectful nod before stealing their keycard. Feel free to comment on the laboratory's interior design.

For Scientists: If they are not preoccupied with eliminating threats, always greet MTF units with a cheerful, "Good day!", and if they are, a friendly wave will suffice. SCPs, on the other hand, may not respond as cordially. Practice your screaming instead, ensuring you maintain a dignified tone.

For Facility Guards: As the under equipped guardians of the site, guards should maintain calm in stressful situations, although most don't. A polite nod to fellow staff members and a stern but fair greeting to Class-D Personnel is appropriate. Avoid using excessive force unless the situation demands it. It is far more refined to say, "Sir, I must request your compliance," rather than simply shooting. A guard will usually then accompany the Scientists or cuffed Class-D to the exit gates, once this is done, the scientist will then usually have a higher power card, they will then open the gate to freedom.

When using the facility elevators, it is customary to allow all SCPs to enter or exit first. It’s a sign of respect and also reduces your risk of being torn apart (this usually does not work). Should you encounter a hostile entity upon the doors opening, simply step aside and exclaim, "Ah, after you!" with a courteous gesture.

If you hear distant gunfire or the distressed screams of colleagues upon arrival, press the button to go back down. Nobody will judge you for a strategic retreat. In fact, it’s often regarded as a refined form of problem-solving.

Maintain proper elevator conversation. Comments like, "This containment breach really has a delightful sense of chaos, don't you think?" are always a hit.

Holding doors for others is polite, but holding them for SCP-173 is considered poor taste. If you do find yourself facing the charming concrete statue, a slight bow followed by immediate eye contact is the proper response.

Avoid door camping. Lingering in doorways is the mark of a true degenerate. Instead, stride confidently through doors and announce your arrival with a dramatic, "Fear not, I have arrived!"

In the unfortunate event you accidentally slam a door on a comrade, a cheerful, "My sincerest apologies, friend!" is usually sufficient.

Utilise the in-game voice chat for refined conversation. Shouting "Peanut in Heavy!" is understandable, but a cultured, "Beware, my dear colleagues, SCP-173 has been sighted in Heavy Containment" is preferred.

D-Class and Scientists are encouraged to practice their last words with flair. A dramatic, “♥♥♥♥ you” is always a crowd-pleaser. If time allows, consider a dramatic scream followed by awkward silence before your inevitable demise.

SCP-173: Blink sparingly, and never stare without consenting eye contact. Offer words of encouragement like, "You’re doing a fantastic job at standing still!"

SCP-049: Engage in light conversation. Compliments like "Your mask looks particularly ominous today" are well-received. Additionally, allow the good doctor a moment to explain his cure before rudely interrupting with gunfire.

SCP-096: Always knock before entering. It is the gentlemanly thing to do. If you make accidental eye contact, apologise profusely and accept your fate with dignity. Exclaiming, "Ah, what a magnificent rage! Bravo!" just before perishing is a refined touch.

SCP-939: Compliment their impeccable mimicry skills. A simple, "Your impression of Dave had me fooled" goes a long way.

By following these guidelines, you’ll not only survive longer but also leave a lasting impression of elegance.
Happy surviving!