Running With Rifles: Loot Guide

RUNNING WITH RIFLES★ 3 · 42 ratings3.8k views35 favorites6 min readby EoNightcoreUpdated 31 Jan, 2017View on Steam ↗

EXPLOSIVE INTRO!

KABOOM MAGGOTS!

WELCOME TO THE MOTHER-LOVING LOOT GUIDE! (God bless her soul, wherever she may be).

HERE YOU GOD-FORSHAKEN DESYNCING PIECE OF DIRTBAGS WILL LEARN WHAT THE LOOT ITEMS ARE AND WILL LEARN TO IDENTIFY THEM WHENEVER BY SEEING THEM OVER AND OVER AGAIN OR JUST LEARNING TO VALUE THEIR VALUBLENESS!!!!!!1111!!!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTT UNDERNEATH 100 RP!!!111

LOOK AT ALL THIS LOOT, THIS LOOT IS ARRANGED FROM LOWEST TO HIGHEST, THIS LOOT IS THE LOOT THAT WILL GIVE YOU SO MUCH RP YOU'LL RUE THE DAY YOU WERE POOR, THIS LOOT IS THE LOOT THAT WILL ALLOW YOU TO PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!!

    Worn Underwear
  • 1 RP
  • Commoness of 4
THERE'S A LIMIT TO JOKES, YOU UNSYNCING FATHER OF AN AI MAGGOT!!!?!?!?!
    Blue Box
  • 1 RP
  • Commoness of 1
A GIFT BOX, GIFTS YOU STUFF!
    Purple Box
  • 1 RP
  • Commoness of 0.75
A GIFT BOX, GIFTS YOU BETTER STUFF!1
    Titan Box
  • 1 RP
  • Commoness of 0.5
A GIFT BOX, GIFTS YOU EVEN BETTER BETTER STUFF!1!
    Beer
  • 30 RP
  • Commoness of 10
YOU WANT WATER MAGGOT?! CAUSE THERE IS NONE, SO HERE'S SOME GODBLESSED BEER!!1
    Cigarettes
  • 40 RP
  • Commoness of 25
YA CAN'T SMOKE THESE, BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE OF LUNG CANCER, WE WANT YOU TO DIE OF GUN CANCER!!!
    Willy Boy
  • 40 RP
  • Commoness of 3
PROTECTION FOR YOUR PRECIOUS RIFLE!!11!! THERE ARE MANY LIKE IT, BUT THIS ONE IS YOURS!!!!
    Comic Book
  • 40 RP
  • Commoness of 2
SPECIAL EDITION OF MONSTER, THE MAN WHO WASN'T A MAN BUT WAS STILL MORE MANLY THAN YOU EVER WILL BE, YOU MAGGOT!!!
    Razor
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 4
A RAZOR-SHARP-RAZOR-SHARP-RAZOR-SHARP DULL-RAZOR!!!!
    RWR Handbook
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 5
THE OFFICIAL RWR HANDBOOK!!!! IT HAS NO FREAKING PAGES IN IT THOUGH, SO DON'T EXPECT TO LEARN ANYTHING USEFUL!!!! BECAUSE YOUR TEACHER WILL BE DEATH!!!1!!!1!!111
    Energy Drink
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 5
YOU WANT SLEEP?!!?! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? A SHEEP?! WE EAT SHEEPS FOR MORNING, LUNCH, AND DINNER, SO GET UP AND DRINK THIS AND BECOME A BULL, WITH WINGS (Drinking this will not actually turn you from a sheep into a bull with wings) !!!!!!!11111
    Horny Magazine
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 5
A MAGAZINE PUBLISHED BY THE COMPANY HORNY! I DON'T TRUST THEM THOUGH, THE GIRLS ON THE COVERS NEVER HAVE HORNS!!!11!
    Chewing Gum
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 8
YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS GUM YOU GODFORSHAKEN PIECE OF UNSYNC ISSUES!!1 BECAUSE THIS GUM IS THE LAST MEAL ANYONE WILL EVER HAVE!!
    Whisky Bottle
  • 50 RP
  • Commoness of 10
YOU WANT A DRINK??!?!?! WELL GET YOUR DIRTY HANDS OFF MY GODFORSHAKEN WHISKY YOU SACK OF CLAYMORE UNSYNC AI DRIVING LOOT BASTARDBLADE!!!!!!
    King-size Willy Boy
  • 60 RP
  • Commoness of 2
PROTECTION FOR YOUR HEAVY MACHINE GUN!!!!!
    Playing Cards
  • 60 RP
  • Commoness of 6
YOU EXPECT TO PLAY WITH 4 ACE CARDS?! FIND THE OTHER 48 FIRST MAGGOT!!11!!!11!
    Chocolate
  • 60 RP
  • Commoness of 8
CHOCOLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111!!!!111ONEONEONE111!!!11iiiii!!!111ate!
    Kamasutra
  • 69 RP
  • Commoness of 3
LOOK AT THAT PERFECT BRIDGE!!! NO WONDER THEY'RE SO PLEASED!
    Lighter
  • 70 RP
  • Commoness of 8
YOU WANT TO WATCH THE WORLD BURN YOU UNSYNCING WORM?!?!?!!??! THAN YOU BETTER STOCK UP ON LIGHTERS!!!!
    Oscar Statue
  • 80 RP
  • Commoness of 1
YOU THINK I GIVE A TURD THAT YOU CAN ACT?!?!?!?!? I WANT YOU TO ACT LIKE A PROPER SOLDIER AND FIGHT YOU MAGGOT!!!
    Sunglasses
  • 80 RP
  • Commoness of 4
TURNS OUT NO ONE CAN GO BLIND SO THIS STUFF IS USELESS!111!!!
    Cigars
  • 80 RP
  • Commoness of 7
YOU WANT TO SMOKE THESE, BOY?! WELL YOU DON'T HAVE A HIGH ENOUGH RANKING!!! ONLY THE COMMANDER GETS TO SMOKE CIGARS, SO MAN UP AND DEAL WITH IT11!

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT OOOOOVVVVEEERRRRRRRRR 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!11ONOEONOEONEOEONE

(9000 subtract 8901 that is)

    Bizarre Rubber Bullet...?
  • 100 RP
  • Commoness of 1
WHAT IN THE 7 RINGS IS THIS BULLET?! WHICH WORM DESIGNED THIS!? WAS IT RICHARD?! YOU CAN'T PENETRATE ANYONE WITH THIS!! YOU MIGHT AS WELL CALL THIS THING A RICHARD, RICHARD!!!
    100 Dollars
  • 100 RP
  • Commoness of 3
100 FREAKING DOLLARS!!!!!
    GameGirl
  • 100 RP
  • Commoness of 5
EQUIPPED WITH THE LATEST GRAPHICS, TECHNOLOGY, AND GAMEPLAY TO BOOT!!!! THE CONSOLE THAT WON THE CONSOLE WARS!!!11!! DON'T ARGUE WITH THIS FANBOY MAGGOT, I WILL SEND YOU INTO FRIENDLY ARTILLERY FIRE IF YOU DO!!!
    IPoo White Edition
  • 100 RP
  • Commoness of 2
IPOO RANGER WWWHHIIIITTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! TOGETHER,
    IPoo Red Edition
  • 110 RP
  • Commoness of 2
IPOO RANGER REEEEDDD!!!!!!!!!!!! WE,
    IPoo Blue Edition
  • 110 RP
  • Commoness of 2
IPOO RANGER BLUUUUUUEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!! ARE,
    IPoo Yellow Edition
  • 110 RP
  • Commoness of 2
IPOO RANGER YEEEEELLLOOOOOOOWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! THE,
    IPoo Green Edition
  • 120 RP
  • Commoness of 2
IPOO RANGER GREEEEEEEEEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! IPOO,
    IPoo Silver Edition
  • 140 RP
  • Commoness of 1.5
IPOO RANGER SIIIIILLLLVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!! RANGER,
    Steroids
  • 150 RP
  • Commoness of 2
WINNERS DON'T DO DRUGS, THEY SELL THEM FOR RRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111
    Holy Bible
  • 200 RP
  • Commoness of 1.5
The Christian Holy Bible.
    Holy Koran
  • 200 RP
  • Commoness of 1.5
The Islamic Holy Koran.
    Fancy Sunglasses
  • 200 RP
  • Commoness of 2
FLAMBOYANT SUNGLASSES, PERFECT WEAR FOR THE BEACHES OF HAWAII, BUT WE'RE NOT IN HAWAII, WE'RE IN NORMANDY!!!!111
    Suitcase
  • 200 RP
  • Commoness of 6
YOU SEE THIS SUITCASE, DESYNC MAGGOT?!!?! YOU SELL THIS SUITCASE AND YOU GET AWESOME BADASS MATERIAL!!!!!
    Teddy Bear
  • 250 RP
  • Commoness of 2
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH GROWN MEN SLEEPING WITH THEIR TEDDY BEARS!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!
    Ghetto Blaster
  • 250 RP
  • Commoness of 2
YOU CAME TO THE WRONG NEIGHBORHOOD, DESYNC-LOVER!
    IPoo Pink Edition
  • 300 RP
  • Commoness of 1
IPOO RANGER PIIIIIIINNNNKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!! SEVEN!!!!! *EXPLOOOOOSSSIOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN*

GO GO IPOOWER RANGERS!!!!

    300 Dollars
  • 300 RP
  • Commoness of 1.5
100 FREAKING DOLLARS!!!!! TIMES THHRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEONEONEONEONEONEONEONE!
    Gem
  • 300 RP
  • Commoness of 2
THE HARDEST ITEM IN THE WORLD!11!1!! EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD THAT ISN'T US OR OUR EQUIPMENT IS COATED IN GEMS!!11!! THAT'S WHY BUILDINGS DON'T BLOW UP WHEN YOU TRY TO BLOW THEM UP!!!
    Laptop
  • 300 RP
  • Commoness of 5
BLACK OPS CALLED MAGGOT AND THEY WANT THEIR LAPTOP BACK!!!
    Pickashoe
  • 400 RP
  • Commoness of 1
PLEASE DON'T SUE US!!!! THIS IS TOTALLY A PICKASHOE AND NOTHING ELSE!!!!!1!!!!!!
    Lona Misa
  • 800 RP
  • Commoness of 0.5
MOOOOOTTTHHHHHHEEEERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Gold Bar
  • 1000 RP
  • Commoness of 0.3
MINECRAFT LIED!!! GOLD IS MORE VALUABLE THAN DIAMONDS!11!1!!!
    Unreleased Justin Beerbar CD
  • 2000 RP
  • Commoness of 0.2
WHO IN ALL OF VANHALLA IS THIS JUSTIN BEERBAR BOY?! HE SOUNDS LIKE A SISSY!!! HE OUGHT TO FIGHT WITH US AND BECOME A PROPER MANLY MAN!1!1

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Dramatic exit

Wheeze wheezeListen kid... it's a harsh world out there alright? Cough I know that if I don't make it, wheeze you're probably not gonna make it. You'll never know though, wheeze kid, if you don't go out there and make a name for yourself.

So... gasp so don't take anything I say seriously, it's all just gasp just a way to cope with the war. Everything here, it was all cough gasp all just gasp just a joke, wheeze, that's right, it was all just a humorless joke, hehehehehe...Last breath

.

..

...

Respawns And I'm back! Did you seriously think I was dead? HAHAHAHAHAAHA, like I said, don't take anything I said seriously. This entire guide was all just one big joke with useful information, because otherwise it would be boring (though religion is often never a joke....).

For more guides please check out my Weapons and Equipment Guide which is more serious.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=686010172

For the official Running with Rifles wikia, please check out this link.
runningwithrifles.gamepedia.com

For the official Running with Rifles wikia version of this loot guide, please check out this link.
http://runningwithrifles.gamepedia.com/Valuables

Anyways, I hoped you enjoyed the guide, please post any comments or concerns down below.

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