How to defeat the hardest enemy in gaming...the Marauder

2024 was a deadly year for journalists, out of the many that died 70% of them were killed by...Israel, BUT the other 30% were killed by THE MARAUDER, now it has become such a threat for journalists that the Global Eradication Tribunal for Gnarly Uber Demons ( G.E.T.G.U.D ) has requested me to come up with a Marauder elimination tactic. Now while the Demon Slayer just shoots at it when its eyes turn green we have to come up with a much more SOPHISTICATED method.

It has taken me YEARS to develop this method but I think I have come to a perfect solution to defend our dear games journalists, the plan goes as follows:

We pain a mural of The Doom Slayer on a wall. The Marauder being quite stupid will naturally run towards it to attack, thinking it is The Doom Slayer, it however fails to see the conveniently placed singular roller skate on the ground, on which it steps on and proceeds to be hurled at the wall, when it hits its head and develops a large headbump and has some birds flying around its head. In this moment in which it is incapacitated, one of our agents ( Who was hiding behind a rock ) places a stick of dynamite in its mouth and lights it with a lighter, seconds later it explodes and we cut to commercials.

It it estimated that with this tactic we have a 99.9% success rate of eliminating all Marauders by 2026. It is quite efficient both in the limited number of resources ( Paint, Dynamite, a roller skate & a BIC lighter ) and manpower ( One guy behind a rock ).

Mission briefing ended, get to work marine!