💸 The Official Guide to Wasting—Err, Investing—Your Money in War Thunder 💥

“I’m just going to try it out. Free-to-play, baby!”

Congratulations, you’ve downloaded War Thunder. You’re about 15 minutes away from being killed by a Tiger II while in a M4 Jumbo with a BB Gun.

“I’ll just get this $9.99 premium plane to support the devs…”

Fast forward 5 minutes later:

You missed your bombs

You got spawn killed

Your teammate rammed you mid-climb

The enemy chat is typing in fluent Russian

But hey—you supported the devs! 🇷🇺🐌💰

“Okay but THIS premium tank will carry me…”

Bought: $59.99 Leopard 2A4 Premium Pack

Result: Immediately ammo-racked by a T-80 you didn’t see

You cried a little.

Then you queued again.

“It’s not pay-to-win. It’s pay-to-suffer more efficiently.”

You now:

Own 14 premiums you can’t pronounce

Still can’t pen a BMP from the front

Are grinding Sweden for some reason

“I could’ve bought a used car with what I spent.”

Yes, but can a 2003 Honda Civic fly at Mach 1 and get shot down by a Yak-38 camping the airfield?

Didn’t think so. 😎