How to be just like Dutch van der Linde

First things first, you'll obviously want to start a gang. Most preferably with some random guy you just met. Instead of using actual criminals, indoctrinate children to do your dirty work.

Working with some other gang owner? Things going to well? Kill his brother for differences in philosophy or something. It doesn't matter why. Then act like it wasn't your fault when they kill your lover. Make sure that this rivalry stays strong for decades.

At this point you may think that things are going to well. The solution to this is meeting some guy in a saloon who you bond with. Make sure that you priorities them over your other gang members that have been with you for years.

Soon, you gonna start having money problems. The simplest solution is to rob rich people. Be aware that they come after you, like kidnapping one of friend's children.

"Oh no" you may think to yourself, but the answer is quite simple. Make friends with the man holding the kid hostage, then climb the social ladder through him. Go to parties, things like that, and take his advice on robbery tips, he knows this city like the back of his hand, so he'll know where good robbery spots are.

Is the place/country you live in too boring? Start loving tropical islands! Don't do any research on them, that would ruin the fun. Love them so much, even being stranded on one wouldn't deter you from wanting to move there.

By now, things may start to become bad for you. Money problems, the law closing in, fear of a rat. You gang members will most likely come to you for advice on what to do. Simply cook up some ♥♥♥♥-and-ball story about "a plan" for example. Make sure to keep them in the dark about it.

This section is really only if the previous one didn't work. The other gang members may see through you lies. Intentionally favour others who don't and will follow you to the ends of the earth. Make sure to let the others know to try and convince them.

If you're ever running low on ideas on ways to distract the government, the Indian people are always ready for a fight. Make sure to hire the young and angry, as they will most likely fight with you even if you just throw them into combat with no real strategy or reason other than to get back at the government.

You may have seen this coming, that just being sloppy wasn't enough and the law shouldn't have been able to find you. If the rat is someone you don't care about, let them die. But what if the rat is your most loyal member? Stay with them no matter what. It doesn't really matter that they betrayed your friends, because after all that they are still loyal to you.

Food is too expensive, so what do you do? Just eat the body parts of any poor soul unlucky enough to stumble across your camp. In times of desperation, you could also eat the leftovers from any battle, if you eat the undamaged parts.

If the law finally catches up to you, make sure to kill yourself before they get the chance to. This will save you from the dreaded moments in prison were they wait to hang you.

That's the definitive guide on how to be just like your hero, Dutch van der Linde. I hope you enjoyed reading this guide.