How to hate elves 101

All chat

You go to all chat and type "Elves are cringe and Sigmar is Chad"

Don't reply

IF THEY DO RESPOND

Just type this;

"Your opinion as elves ARE invalid, SILENCE TREE HUGGER"

Done easy 10/10 would work trust

Hi, I’m Victor Saltzpyre. Did you know that you have rights? The Sigmarite Hammer says you do, but that knife-eared wretch in your Quickplay lobby certainly doesn't think so!

Are you tired of taking friendly fire in the back of the head from a Hagbane Bow? Did an arrogant Waystalker sprint across the map, trigger a Chaos Patrol, die instantly, and then blame you in the team chat? Did a tree-hugging tree-shagger steal the only healing draught when they were only missing temporary health?!

You do not have to endure Elven superiority.

When that arrogant, woodland parasite calls you a "lumberfoot" for the hundredth time, don't rage-quit. Get legal! I specialize in holding pointy-eared miscreants accountable for their battlefield negligence.

• Friendly Fire Lawsuits: I will sue for every single Moonfire arrow lodged in your spine.
  
• Loot Die Compensation: We ensure Elves do not hoard the red items they didn't earn.
  
• Green Circle Disputes: Did she toxic-flame you over stats? We will file a defamation suit.
  
• Heresy Defense: If you "accidentally" push her into a Warpfire Thrower blast... I will clear your name.

Don't let them lumber your feet. Better Call Saltzpyre!

"He cleared my name after I accidentally-on-purpose blew up the Elf with a Trollhammer Torpedo. 10/10 Sigmars." — Bardin G.