Ranking all the talents based on my personal experience

(THIS IS OUT OF DATE, SOME TALENTS HAVE SINCE BEEN CHANGED)

What each color means:
Green: Meta or Equally Viable.
Lime: A middle ground between Green and Orange for Talents that didn't feel right in either.
Orange: Viable, but not incredible like Green.
Red: Objectively (At least in my big dumb brain) worse than other options.
Pink: Meme talent, bad/inferior to the other options but can be fun.
Uncolored: No opinion / I haven't used it enough.

If you disagree with me and my awful, no good, useless, stupid Opinions, leave a comment telling me to elaborate for a talent(s) and I will update the guide with some additional notes on my thought process for how I ranked the talent(s), just be nice or you will be ignored. If you can't muster the strength to be polite you haven't yet mentally aged enough to play a rated M game like Vermintide.