Speed Square Guide

I spent a few nights drinking and playing Final Fantasy VII. If you're like me, you like to get the best weapons and items as soon as you possibly can. Final Fantasy VII is mostly a game of patience and devotion; the more time you put in the game, the more rewards you shall receive. This guide covers what items I think are worth gaining from this mini-game, and what strategy worked best for me.

Why should you even bother with this corrupt and foul mini game? I don't know, that's a very good question. The mini game at hand is rather difficult, but there are two rewards I personally think are worth it. A weapon for Aeris and Cid, possibly their best weapons (depending on your views...)

Disc 1
So you'd rather fight with an Umbrella than a staff? Problem solved. If you'd like to get this item before Aeris (spoilers), you can do this as soon as you gain access to the Golden Saucer. While the weapon has no materia slots or materia growth, it has solid overall stats and deals the most damage out of all of her weapons. Plus you get to wield a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ parasol.

Disc 2 & 3
On Disc 2 or 3, you can unlock Cid's Flayer from this waste-of-space mini game. Too bad the Mop doesn't have better stats...

Prepare Yourself

Basically this mini game has you riding a roller coaster and shooting at approaching objects in a first-person view. To get the two weapons of [final] fantasy lore, you need to score at least 5000 points (5000+ on Disc 1 and 5000+ on Disc 2/3). In written form, this sounds like an easy task, but when you try this bad boy out on a keyboard you'll be cursing at your pet cat.

At this point you realize this is impossible to achieve without a ton of time to waste. You have to memorize this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cheap game while using the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ arrow keys on a keyboard.

Only God Can Judge Me
If the system is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you, ♥♥♥♥ back. An internet secret that no one I personal know knows in person will break this mini game. It has been passed down through the Matrix, but few have heard the secret. In my personal research, the originator is not found. I would love to give credit to this brillant person.

Final Fantasy Tactics
You have two options. You can waste your time trying to hit as many targets as you can and practice until you can reach 5000+ points, or you can use my tactic. There is a zeppelin (floating air-balloon vehicle) on the ride. If you hit it's propeller, you automatically get 4000 points (I think...). This is still much harder than it sounds... I recommend using my strategy.

The zeppelin is fairly close to the end of the ride. After you pass the segment with the floating balloons, you should prepare for the zeppelin. You are able to see the zeppelin twice in one ride. After it passes by the first time, position the fire trigger in the very bottom right corner and begin to shoot. Tap it steady, but consistently, and make sure you are not loosing power. You should receive the 4000 points from hitting the propeller, even though it didn't look like you actually hit it.

With that said, all you need to be able to do is score 1000 points on this ride. I recommend taking out several targets before ze Zeppelin and/or destroying the large Ancient Alien-Styled UFO (UFO is worth 1000). This is easy enough to do, you just need to focus your blasts on the UFO and make sure the power is fairly high.

You're welcome.

This trashy, to the point guide would like to thank the following:

Tupac Shakur (RIP), David Wise, and Nobuo Uematsu.