friday the 13th in 2018: how to play in the "dead's man's game!

we need to realize that f13 the game is a pretty fun game, but the player count isn't the best one out there.
but you can still find lobbies so it's not dead

even if this game is almost one year old, we still have the good old:

• russians with a potato mic
  
• people who have a soundboard and spam music
  
• leavers when someone doesn't load fast enough
  
• leavers when they don't get selected as jason
  
• leavers that leave 4 seconds into the round when they don't get to play as jason when their selected jason was picked
  
• teamers
  
  • jason and counselor teaming (mostly americans and russians)
    
  • counselor teaming (if you spot a group of 4 vanessa's or chad's wiith baseball bats, then this is the terminology)
• trolls
  
  • people who place traps under windows or behind unlocked door
    
  • people who run you over on purpose
    
  • people that lead jason to you
    
  • that one guy that uses the sweater to stun jason before tommy is on the map
    
  • tommy who doesn't kill jason when he is on his knees

but now, we can also add:

• russians trying to kill you and ragequitting when they fail
  
• people who drop items halfway across the map
  
• russians with jason x that quit the game when they don't play as him
  
• people who edit save files in general
  
• people that leave as soon as you grab them (not gonna add "in mid kill" because the exp is given at the start of the kill now)

and much more that i can't think of

since we are in 2018, we got new counselors to use, but we still have the old ones!
we have such counselors as:
overplayed as ♥♥♥♥ (mostly by russians or a group of people trying to stun you)
miss "grab your schlong and pull really hard"
always in a fight
all rounder
the "final girl"
Momma's boy (dicchead)
knife feedeer
mandatory black guy
failed biker
our lord and saviour
got lost into the woods and ended up in crystal lake
R.I.P Gloria Charles
no one plays him (for some reason)

with f13 being out for almost a year, we of course got new Jasons (which you'll play for about 3 games before going back to your main) we have such Jasons as:
angry gnome
i will choke spam you
with the special guest:
i will still choke spam you
lemme just break down this door real quick
The Gardener™
Whomst'd've'ly'yaint'nt'ed'ies's'y'es the ♥♥♥♥ plays this guy anymore
"worst jason in the game"
"well acktually he's getting a buff"
that's a nice door you got there, would be a shame if i bulldozed trough it
boiled potato head

as of recent times (when the virtual cabin 2.0 came out) people (mostly russians with way too much time on their hands) have started to ♥♥♥♥ up this game's peace by making the most op jasons of them all...
meet the unreleased jason that is coming out soon... with part 8 stats and a broken hitbox, you can tell that these people want to show off their hacker skills (and totally not the fact that they have a ♥♥♥♥ the same size of a peanut and the mental capacity of a tic tac)
but with these so called "hackers" there is also another type that is kind of better than hacking jason x to win easily...
what do i mean with this?
it's those people that apply the skin of a jason (like savini) onto another jason (like part 8) and put kills that normally can't go with the weapon that jason is holding.
here is an example of what im talking about:
and here is a gif:
this is not as bad as jason x, but it's still editing game files to create spawns of satan.

like i said, even if the game is out for almost a year, some things will never change:

• jason grabbing you mid swing
  
• jason moving away from your attack to grab you
  
• jason that only swings without a reason
  
• leading jason into a 5 minute chase, only to find out no one did ♥♥♥♥
  
• jason placing 4'500'000 traps around the phone box
  
• spending time fixing the car, only to see a group of vanessa's leaving you to die while they escape
  
• getting batista bombed through a window
  
• getting killed even though you were at 100% wiggle
  
• suggested by mor: "jason always blocking in combat stance so they won't get stunnes"

but sometimes even the game ♥♥♥♥♥ you over, such as:

• making you spawn close to the phone box
  
• spawning you close to a car
  
• making you spawn, and the camera doesn't spawn close to you
  
• spawning in a cabin with no weapons or items inside

and even in rare occasions the game and the people will be good:

• stunning jason when you're grabbed
  
• helping you fix stuff
  
• stopping the car for you

jason is in a weird spot as of right now, supposed to be strong, he gets bullied on a daily basis.
But this is what you can experience in an averagel jason match:

• 4 vanessas trying to chainstun you
  
• people who teabag once they stun you on your ass
  
• a guy with 75 pocket knives
  
• people leaving mid kill
  
• people leaving as soon as you grab them
  
• only kiling 5 people out of 8 because everyone else left
  
• group of russians trying to kill you, only to fail miserably and ragequitting because of it
  
• people hitting you trough doors
  
• people with 45 med sprays up their ass

This game is nothing like dead by daylight, because you can use weapon to stun jason and in friday no developer is going to tell you to play something else but what arsenal of weapons can you use against jason?

• baseball bat
  
  • the weapon that has 100% stun chance, which will make you confident enough to take a swing at jason only to get grabbed mid swing and choked
    
  • you can also hit jason trought doors (unless he breaks the door in combat stance)
• axe
  
  • a mix of the machete and baseball bat, making it the superior weapon to the low stunning machete and low damage bat
    
  • you can also hit jason trought doors (unless he breaks the door in combat stance)
• wrench
  
  • what you will find when you don't need it, and what you won't find WHEN you need it
• pan
  
  • don't use this, please. it's so bad unless you come from tf2 then use it
• fire poker
  
  • why is this even in the game
• machete
  
  • the one thing that you will use once, to kill jason
• wood plank
  
  • do people even use this
• tree branch
  
  • this ♥♥♥♥ is even rarer than the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ gun
• flare gun
  
  • you will miss, even at close range
• shotgun
  
  • if you manage to miss with this, you should uninstall the game

counselors are not the only ones with weapon to stun jason, jason also has weapons to kill counselors unless he swings around a group of vanessas trying to stun him
we have such jason weapons as:

• pickaxe
  
  • available on part 2 with such kills as:
    
    • face popper
      
    • head twister
      
    • german dungeon porn
• woodchopping axe
  
  • available on part 3 with such kills as:
    
    • right in the babymaker
      
    • knock out and chop
      
    • squishy wood
• pig splitter
  
  • available on part 4 with such kills as:
    
    • to use only on tommy
      
    • crotch and IQ
      
    • king luis XVI
      
    • DLC: down the middle
      
    • DLC: forced skyrim joke
      
    • DLC: solid snake takeout
• hedge trimmers
  
  • available on part 5 with such kills as
    
    • cutting grass
      
    • the emo service
      
    • the holy cross
• spear
  
  • available on part 6 with such kills as:
    
    • remove kebab
      
    • reverse cowgirl
      
    • how to give a blowjob to a spear 101
• machete
  
  • available on part 7 with such kills as:
    
    • the poor's man fish gutter
      
    • the last thing a piece of bread sees before a pigeon pecks it
      
    • the stabb™
      
    • DLC: the rich's man fish gutter
      
    • DLC: to use only on the girl with the sweater
      
    • DLC: the thot destroyer
• fireman axe
  
  • available on part 8 with such kills as:
    
    • make sure that is dead
      
    • the YEET™
      
    • to use on people with loud mics
• double sided axe
  
  • available on part 9 with such kills as:
    
    • triple strike
      
    • wombo combo
      
    • let me help you die on this axe
• lucifer pitchfork
  
  • available on savini jason with such kills as:
    
    • carry me to glory
      
    • bitchslap pitch stab
      
    • ♥♥♥♥ stare

the guide sadly ends here, but the fun of this game doesn't, so go out there and get batista bombed through a window by jason

this is not part of the guide, it's just a changelog for stuff that happens inside of the guide:

• 30.3.18
  
  • +added a suggestion by mor: jasons always blocking in cs