How to leave the European Union (EU). [EU][NA]

Maybe you've been caught with your pants down in a stupid dispute between your friends and want to ruin your civilisation, maybe it's for career ambitions. Or more likely you just don't like johnny foreigner. If so then maybe you've thought about leaving the European Union.

Anyone can do it. You, your parents, your dog, or even little Ahmed down the road, you can leave even if you're not a part of the EU to begin with. And this guide will show you how.

Originally posted by Th47ch3rMkII:Maybot:

*Bzzzt* The choice is clear, a "[STRONG AND STABLE]" government with me, or a "[COALITION OF CHAOS]" backed by "terrorist synthesisers" with ed milliband.
*Bzzzzt* DID YOU SEE THE WAY HE ATE THAT HARAM SANDWICH?

Unfortunately you can't leave the yuropeen cool kids club (/w membership benefits!) by just crying like a little spoilt brat in front of herr merkel (pbuh) again and again and again and again.
Apparently its up to your own populace, as some idiots still think a federalised european superstate (aka the 5th reich) which can keep up with the USA and CHYNA is a good thing.
This means that you're going to have to run a (advisory) referendum.

Leaving the local trading block, and biggest peace-time political alliance and project in history, could have its pro's as well along with it's many, many cons. And such an important decision to remain in it or exist outside of it would be incredibly complicated decision, which would require lots of experts to assess the ramifications of wanting to leave. But I think we've had quite enough of experts, so this guide will tell you the basics of your campaign in preparation for your EU referendum.

Tip 1: Lie.

Originally posted by bozotheclown:

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Lie here, lie there, lie anywhere. lie in a house, lie with a mouse, lie in a box, lie with a fox. Would you, could you? lie here, lie there, lie anywhere. Lie in a bus, lies lies HERE THEY ARE, you would lie, you could lie in a car. lie in a tree, lie some more, you shall see. How about you lie in a (privatised) train, or perhaps even, lie in the rain? Say could you lie, in the dark? You could lie, you should lie, in the dark. Could you, would you, lie with a pig or goat , you could lie you should lie, with a pig or goat. Can you lie upon a boat? You could lie, you should lie upon a boat.
You must lie, I should say, lie now!, lie now! Theresa may.

• Did you hear the European union wants to make a European army?
  
• What about all those unelected elected bureaucrats in the house of lords european parliament?
  

• Statistics are kinda like lies but only using numbers, you can manipulate them to whatever your whim, and people will never ask the source, how the numbers came about or tested, reliability of the numbers or the people behind them.
  For example here's a stat for you, did you know that I 100% ♥♥♥♥♥♥ your mum last night?

Tip 4 Give you good old media mogul mate murcoc masses of money.

• In return for offshore companies, he will return the favour by helping brainwash your civilisation with utter brain rotting tripe,perfect to help with your campaign to do what you did to that pig, only to everyone.

Originally posted by paxbritannia:

But the war is not over yet, now that you've won the referendum by a tiny ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ margin on 1 day, we need to piss off the other 48% of the eligible voting populace as much as possible, pass article 50, and turn into a police state.

Originally posted by N.A.Racist:

"I'm not racist but.."

Originally posted by Dole Patrol:

"IT'S CAMING HOME ITS COMEN HOME ITS CAMEN FOOTBALLS COMING HOME.

Ingredients

3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter
4 ounces unsweetened, quality chocolate
1 3/4 cups coconut sugar
6-9 Magic Money Trees
1/2 teaspoon """kosher""" salt
1/8 ounce finely ground cannabis trim
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 large eggs
1 Dead Unicorn
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
50k new nurses
2/3 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
10 tonnes of horsesh*te
3 mint leaves, minced (optional)
Pro tip: If you’re not keen on the classic flavor and scent of weed, add finely minced mint leaves to the batter; it will offset the cannabis flavor.

Directions

Preheat oven to 240°F (115°C). Spread cannabis evenly on a baking sheet. Bake 50 minutes (if using less cannabis, check oven after 35 to 40 minutes). Remove from oven and set aside.
In a medium saucepan, melt butter over low heat. Add decarboxylated (oven-baked) cannabis and lower heat to a simmer. Cook for 45 minutes, then remove from heat.
Strain cannabutter through a fine-mesh sieve or cheesecloth into a small glass measuring cup or bowl. Discard strained cannabis solids or save for cannabis tea.
Preheat oven to 350°F (177°C) and grease a 9-by-13 inch glass baking pan with cooking spray.
Place chocolate in a large glass mixing bowl and melt in the microwave or over a saucepan of boiling water.
Add cannabutter to melted chocolate and mix until combined, then mix in coconut sugar, salt, and vanilla.
Add eggs one at a time, mixing until fully incorporated.
Mix in flour, and walnut and/or mint, if using.
Pour batter into prepared baking pan and bake for 25 to 30 minutes. Let cool slightly, then cut into 16 pieces. Store leftovers — clearly marked if there are others using your kitchen — in the refrigerator for up to a week, or in the freezer for several months.

This guide was officially sponsored by Sabily, the only Muslim Shariah Linux distribution! We would like to thank Zakri Zakaria in particular for his contributions of "stolen Israeli shekels". We hope Allah (South West Trains be on time for Him) blesses him as he has blessed us.

Cheers,

TeamBrexitQueers