How to play Halo with your friends!

Ask your friends to play Halo with you. There is an 3.64% chance they will say yes. More likely you will receive a response such as 'I'm busy' 'Maybe I'll play after work' or 'I'm tired right now.' If you do not get the desired result continue following this guide.

The next step is to respond in a way that will make your friends feel like they are mean for not playing Halo with you. Some of my favorites are listed below.

'It feels like we never play anything these days, I guess we're growing apart'

'You say that every time'

'But you played Runescape for 16 hours straight yesterday'

'You just said you were bored, but you don't want to play with me. I see how it is'

'I only have a week to live'

Responses such as this will up your chances to about 21.74%. However if they still wont play with you continue to follow the steps in this guide.

This step is about getting emotional and desperate. Try things like crying and groveling to weaken the emotional state of your friends. Use the word please an absurd amount of times as well as turning your camera on and shaking uncontrollably.

The amount of time you spend on this step is very important. Not enough begging and crying will not net you a positive result. Once you run out of energy try the next steps.

For this step you will want to be persistent in your questioning. Cycle through steps 1-3 over and over again and change tactics quickly when you feel like one isn't working. Just like the last step the amount of time you spend in this one is highly important. The longer you spend in this step the more your friends resolve is worn down.

It is not guaranteed this will be effective but your chances of a yes are greatly increased, if not just to get you to stop asking. If you are still getting a no, continue through the final steps of this guide.

For this step you will be offering something in return for your friends time. I will list some effective offers below.

'Money'

'Your car'

'A backrub'

'Your soul'

'Servitude equal to the amount of time they play with you multiplied by 10'

It is still possible that a strong friend will have not been crushed by your rapid bombardment and if that is the case follow the final 2 steps in this guide.

If you've had no luck playing Halo with your friends thus far then it may be time to accept the fact that they may never play Halo with you. In this step you have to make a choice.

Choice 1: Accept the fact you will never play Halo with your friends but understand that they are still your friends anyways. If you choose this option, the guide ends here. You will continue to play halo but you will become comfortable playing by yourself. Your willingness to play alone will become your greatest strength.

Choice 2: Accept the idea that the people who wont play with you are not your friends, but your enemies. In choosing this option you will rebuke your former friends and continue your journey through Halo with a fire lit in your heart. Your unwillingness to take no for an answer will become your greatest weakness. If you've chosen this option continue to the final step in this guide.

Choose wisely!

One by one all of your friends have stopped playing Halo. Dropping like flies. And in doing so they have made an an enemy of you. They will regret their actions against you.

No matter. You shall not concern yourself with those whelps any longer. You will construct a new set of Halo playing friends over the ashes of your destroyed heart.

The sources of the these new teammates will be listed below.

Find new friends in the Halo matchmaking service

Find new friends in the Halo Customs browser

Find new friends in the numerous online Halo forums that are available

and many many more

Soon you will have an army so large it will rival that of the UNSC.